Personal Jurisdiction (30 page)

“Whitney, are you okay? Have you been crying?” Elise asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Well, I am okay. But, yes, I have been crying.” Whitney answered. She took a deep breath. “I’m ending things with Ben. I’m not even sure what that means since we’re not officially dating, but I’m not waiting around for him anymore.”

“Oh, Hon, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

Whitney told them everything. She told them about finding Ben playing piano, about helping him get a flight and pack to go say goodbye to his grandmother, and about the artwork in his room. “I mean, I think he’s a great guy, and I’m sure we’ll remain friends. But I’m not going to sit around wishing that he would pay attention to me. He doesn’t open up to me. He doesn’t love me. That’s all there is to it.”

Jamie, who was sitting in the booth next to Whitney, reached over and gave her a hug. Whitney took a deep breath and continued. “I wanted to be more confident this year. I wanted to stop thinking of myself as a second class citizen here. And sitting around waiting for Ben does not boost my confidence.”

“Good for you!” Elise said. “You’re not a second class citizen here. Remember, don’t let anyone make you feel inferior. You worked hard to get here. And you’ve done an amazing job. If Ben can’t see what he’s missing, then good riddance.”

“It’s kind of like personal jurisdiction,” Jamie said. Whitney gave Jamie a questioning look. Personal jurisdiction was a legal concept they had studied in Civil Procedure class during their first semester. It referred to the court’s authority over a party to a lawsuit. If a court has personal jurisdiction over a party, it has the right to enforce a judgment against that party.

Jamie continued, “You have to be careful about who you allow to have personal jurisdiction in your life. Don’t let people with no right to make decisions about you have jurisdiction to enforce rules or make judgments over your life.”

Whitney smiled. “That’s kind of cheesy, but I like it. Thanks. I knew you guys would have my back.”

“What are you going to tell Ben?” Elise asked.

“Nothing yet. I mean, we’re not an official, exclusive couple. And he’s off in San Francisco dealing with his dying grandmother, so I don’t want to bother him right now. If past performance is any indication, I’m sure he won’t be going out of his way to contact me.”

“Just don’t go soft and change your mind while he’s away,” Elise said. “I think you’re making a good decision here.”

Whitney nodded. “I know. No more personal jurisdiction for Ben.”

“By the way,” Jamie said. “Have you guys heard about Kate?”

“No, what about her?” Whitney asked. Whitney had not seen Kate at all recently.

“She left school. Took a medical leave of absence,” Jamie said, and then lowered her voice. “I heard she was going to a rehab center to be treated for alcoholism and depression.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Whitney said. She felt guilty now for judging Kate.

“It’s not surprising at all,” Elise said. “I’ve been reading up about this. Lawyers struggle with alcohol abuse at nearly twice the rate of the normal population. Same thing with depression. It’s sad.”

“I hope Kate gets good counseling. I know she was a little out there, but maybe underneath all the drama is a good person,” Jamie said.

Whitney nodded. She had no animosity left toward Kate. Law school was brutal, and she could see how someone could easily become depressed and turn to drinking to try to deal with it. It was sad how silently Kate slipped away, though. Alex had not mentioned anything to Whitney about it, but he must have known.

“Okay, I can’t take any more bad news,” Elise said, breaking the somber moment. “Let’s talk about something happy.”

“How about your trip to Saint Thomas?” Whitney asked. “I still haven’t heard about it. From the looks of the tan you and Jamie both have, it was a good trip.”

Elise’s face brightened, and she started talking about their spring break trip. Jamie jumped in to add details to Elise’s stories here and there, and it sounded like the two had crammed plenty of activities into the week. Elise’s favorite story was from the day they had rented canoes and gone paddling around one of the bays. Elise saw a sea turtle swimming by her canoe and flipped out in excitement, which resulted in her tipping the canoe over. She tried and tried to get back into the canoe in the middle of the bay, but could not manage to climb back in until she reached a spot where her feet touched the ground. She had to swim back to shore, pushing her canoe in front of her the whole way, while Jamie had nearly passed out from laughter.

Listening to Elise’s stories, Whitney once again felt a pang of regret that she had not gone on vacation with the girls. Maybe she had been too stubborn with her refusal to let Elise pay for the trip. After all, Elise had so much spare money, why not spend it on Whitney?

Elise also gushed about Evan. He had surprised her with a dozen red roses and reservations at The Signature Room, a swanky restaurant in Chicago’s famous Hancock Tower. Elise declared this gesture “totally cheesy” but “so sweet.” Whitney was happy for Elise and jealous of her at the same time. Elise had found a great guy who was working hard to show her how much he appreciated her. When Elise finally took a breather from singing Evan’s praises, she asked Whitney about her trip to New England. Whitney gave them a brief rundown of the trip, telling them about Niagara Falls, the hot air balloon ride, and the brewery tour. Elise listened with great interest.

“I think Alex is into you,” Elise said.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” Whitney said.

“I’m serious,” Elise said. “Back me up on this, Jamie. I mean, he took you on a hot air balloon ride and to a champagne brunch!”

“Well, it was my birthday. He wanted to make it special,” Whitney countered.

“Bullshit!” Elise said. “That boy has had his eyes on you since the day he met you.”

Whitney laughed off Elise’s observation, but when she went home that afternoon, she thought about it some more. Alex and Whitney were good friends, but was he looking for more than just friendship? She had never thought seriously about a romantic relationship with Alex. The closest she had come to pondering the question was when they were in Maine and she had jokingly suggested starting a brewery or hot air balloon business together. Alex had a bit of a reputation as the kind of guy who enjoyed casual sex with friends, so Whitney had always brushed off any flirtations from him as his desire for a bang buddy. But was she willfully ignoring the obvious?

Whitney shook her head, as if this would somehow settle everything into place and make it clear. She was feeling overwhelmed with what the last few days had brought, and she decided to go for a run to clear her head. Just as she finished lacing up her running shoes, her phone buzzed from its spot on the kitchen counter. Whitney checked it and found a text from Ben.
Just wanted to let you know my grandma passed away this morning. Thanks for convincing me to come say goodbye. I’m so glad I did. Xoxo.
Whitney sighed. Of course Ben would sign a text with hugs and kisses right after she had decided she needed to let him go. A week ago, she would have analyzed for hours whether the text meant he was interested in escalating things between them. Today, she set her phone back down and headed out the door to the lakefront running path. It had taken her nearly the entire school year, but she was done with Ben for good. Her feet pounded down the path, and she turned up the volume on her iPod, drowning out everything except the burning in her lungs.

* * *

Over the next several weeks, as Chicago welcomed April’s slowly warming temperatures, Whitney found herself frequently holed up in the law library. Finals were approaching again, and tension among the law students was rising. Whitney did not hear from Ben or see him for several weeks. She sent him a text with her condolences on his grandmother’s passing, but that was the last communication they had.

The last week of April, Whitney was sitting at her usual study table in the library when Ben came by.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down across from her and throwing her a bag of peanut M&Ms.

Whitney smiled. “Thanks. How are you?” Ben looked tired, but he seemed more relaxed and happy than he had in a long time.

“Much better. I just got back from California this week. I missed a lot of classes, but, oh well. I’m back for finals.”

“I can email you copies of my notes,” Whitney offered.

“Thanks, that would be awesome,” Ben said, sounding grateful. “I just wanted to come by and thank you, in person, for convincing me to go see my grandma. You were right. I would have regretted it forever if I had not said goodbye.” Ben slid his hand across the table and covered Whitney’s hand with his. Whitney slid her hand away. It had been over a month now since she decided to let Ben go. The time in between had confirmed for her that she had made the right decision. Ben had not tried to communicate with her at all during that time. Of course, she understood it had been a difficult time, but a month with zero communication was too long. It was not the kind of relationship Whitney wanted.

“Ben, I’m glad I could help you. And I’m here for you as a friend to help with study notes or whatever else you might need. But I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t want to do what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You, me. Us. I don’t want this erratic relationship. I’m an all in or all out kind of person, and this on and off romance is not working for me.”

Ben sat back and was quiet for several moments. Then he stood up and simply said, “Okay. I understand.” And that was it. He walked out of the library without another word. Whitney was a little hurt. It was nice to have an easy “break-up,” but she had expected him to argue with her at least a little bit. She stared sullenly out the window at the lake below. She had been right to end things. Ben’s response was further proof of that. What a waste of time the months of waiting for him had been.

Despite her determination to be strong, Whitney felt sad. Studying could wait. She gathered up her things and decided to text Elise.
Officially ended things with Ben. Need cocktail, stat.
A few moments later Elise replied.
Good. Get over to my apartment RIGHT NOW. I’m trying to teach myself to cook French food and need help. I will make you cocktails.
Whitney giggled. Of course Elise was cooking instead of studying. That girl would find any excuse to avoid her casebooks.

On my way!
Whitney texted back. So what if Ben did not fight for her? Whitney had made some incredible friends this year who thought she was worth fighting for. And, more importantly, Whitney was fighting for herself—for what she wanted, on her terms. Whitney started walking toward Elise’s apartment, feeling lighter on her feet than she had in months.

After her brief study break at Elise’s apartment, Whitney began to prepare for finals in earnest. She alternated between studying with Elise and Jamie, and studying by herself in the library. There was no class for the entire week before finals, so Whitney did not see much of anyone other than Elise or Jamie. All she did was eat, sleep, and study. The afternoon before her first final, she ran into Lincoln as she was leaving the law school. He looked happy, which was strange for any law student the night before finals. It was particularly strange for Lincoln, who was the tensest person Whitney knew.

“Lincoln, you look great!” Whitney said. “Shouldn’t you be completely stressed out right now?”

“Whitney!” Lincoln exclaimed, and then gave her a big bear hug. “I just came from Professor Neals’ office. He has so much work for this summer that he decided to take on two research assistants, and he offered me the second slot!” Lincoln looked like he might explode with joy. Whitney congratulated him and breathed a secret sigh of relief. Lincoln’s job search had been an ongoing source of stress for their whole group of friends.

The night before her last final, Whitney decided to boost her spirits by treating herself to a fresh coat of fingernail polish. She chose a bright, summery orange color in honor of the gradually returning sunny weather. The morning of the exam, instead of reviewing her notes again, Whitney flat-ironed her hair and put on makeup. She had done everything she could at this point to prepare for the last exam. She wanted to feel pretty again after sporting sweatpants and a ponytail for the last few weeks of intense studying. Whitney put on a navy dress with ruffled cap sleeves, then added a bright orange scarf and orange flats to match her fingernails. There was an end-of-the-year boat cruise that afternoon, and Whitney wanted to look good for it. The boat cruise was a tradition at Northwestern Law. On the last day of finals, a boat was rented out to sail around Lake Michigan for two hours. For twenty-five dollars, students could get a ticket for the cruise, which included an unlimited bar and buffet. Veteran law students said the dance floor on the boat got rowdy, especially after a few rounds of the free drinks. Whitney was looking forward to two hours of fun on the boat. All she had to do now was make it through her last final.

That last final was a five-hour-long essay final, a fittingly difficult end to Whitney’s first year of law school. By the time the test proctor called time, Whitney thought her brain might actually have turned into jelly. As she packed up her things, the realization that she was done with the first year of law school hit her in full force. She wanted to cry tears of joy. There had been many moments, especially during the first semester, that she thought she would never make it to this point. But she was now finished with one-third of her legal education. She pulled out her phone and texted Rachel.
I did it! I’m finished with my last final!
She smiled as her phone buzzed with a congratulatory text back from Rachel.