Phantom (26 page)

“Darlene
is
a pretty smart lady,” Rebecca agreed. “Are your ribs hurting a lot?”

“My whole body feels like it’s been hit by a truck. And my head feels like it’s going to explode.”

Rebecca reached out her hand and gingerly touched the darkening bruise on his forehead. Even that light touch made him flinch. “You really got your butt kicked, huh?”

He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m an artist. Not a jock.”

“I suppose offering you a couple aspirin would be pointless.”

“I told you before, I don’t like to poison my body. Besides . . . .” He puffed his chest out to try to look tough. It wasn’t very convincing. “It’s not a big deal. I can take it.”

“Well, I don’t have any willow bark tea handy, but maybe I can help a little.”

“How’s that?”

“I don’t suppose you’re opposed to back rubs?” she asked shyly, and felt her cheeks flush.

He had to clear his throat to respond as he turned just as red as Rebecca had. “No, that’s pretty holistic.”

“Okay, then. Sit up a little.”

Rebecca reached her hands around to touch his shoulders, rubbing them gently. He was tense at first, a little unsure. She could feel where his muscles were tight and cramped. She kneaded the tight spots, and before long she felt his body begin to relax. She was never as sure of her fingers as she was at that moment. A warm heat was running through them and she knew he must have felt that same electrical charge that she felt every time they made physical contact. It was a connection that went beyond the physical and into something much more intense.

They sat like that for what could have been five minutes or five hours. Rebecca had lost her concept of time. They were silent for a while, but then he tilted his head up to look at her. Dark eyes watched her, filled with their normal melancholy, but also tinged with doubt and a little confusion. He wasn’t sure why she was there after the conversation he had overheard. She wasn’t sure why she was there, either. She only knew it was an urge she couldn’t deny, like the primal instinct to survive at all costs. Her instinct was to be with Justyn whatever the cost, however irrational and possibly dangerous it might turn out to be.

Justyn moved closer as he pushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. He moved his fingers down to stroke her cheek. He never broke eye contact, forcing her to look into the mirror of his soul. Rebecca felt her breath coming faster, her pulse starting to race. Her hands dropped from his shoulders to wrap around his waist, careful to avoid the area she knew was hurt. He moved closer to her lips, and she had no intention of denying him. She had no intention of denying him ever again.

“What is it about you that makes me feel like you’ve stolen not only my heart, but my soul,” she whispered as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

He smiled sadly, and continued to caress her hair as he sang to her in his clear, beautiful tenor.

“Your soul is filled with a beauty so rare.
With the power to bring both love and despair.
Which will you bring me, my angel of song?
A quick painful end or a love that’s life long?”

Beautiful words. Romantic lines from the play they both loved. Normally, those words coupled with his enchanting musical voice, would automatically make Rebecca swoon. But suddenly something occurred to her. It had never seemed quite as ominous as it did at that moment. Instantly her hands fell away from Justyn. She jolted back on the bench as far as was possible without falling off the edge.

Those words. They weren’t exactly the same as the ones she had heard before in the muffled distorted voice of her twisted stalker. It wasn’t the same verses as the ones written on the threatening notes. But both Justyn and the stalker used the same motis operandi. Could that really be a coincidence? The voice had a different tone. But could it have been Justyn’s voice? She couldn’t be sure. As the familiar sense of fear and mistrust slithered up her spine, she felt herself pulling further and further away from him, even as Justyn reached out to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“What you just said, what you’re always saying . . . it’s just like the message, like the calls and the letters.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The person who has been threatening me, the person who killed Jay and maybe even Mr. Russ. They always use lines from the play, just like . . . just like you. ”

 Justyn looked confused at first and then horrified as the realization of what she was saying truly sunk in. She knew he was a good actor. His reaction didn’t really mean anything.

“Becca, it’s just a coincidence.” He swore to her. “I was just trying to be romantic. I thought you liked it when I quoted the play . . . I’m sorry if I scared you.”

He tried to reach out to touch her hand, but Rebecca jumped up off the bench, nearly tripping over her forgotten book bag in her sudden, panic stricken desire to escape.

 “No, no . . . don’t touch me.”

 She was really starting to freak out. She couldn’t control it. Hysteria was taking over. She was breathing hard, half crouched and ready to pounce. She was like a frightened, cornered animal.

 “You really think I did all those things, don’t you?” The misery in his voice was undeniable, but Rebecca was too overcome with her own fear to dwell on it. “Why, Becca? Because I dress in black? Because I wear a pentacle around my neck? I thought you were different. I thought you could see past the stereotypes. I thought you knew who I was on the
inside
. You say you love the story of Erik, but you do you really understand it? It’s supposed to teach you that it isn’t the way someone looks that makes him a monster, but the way he’s treated that can turn him into one.”

 Rebecca couldn’t meet his eyes. The way he was looking at her was too heartbreaking. His words made her ashamed. She wished she could tell him he was wrong, that she wasn’t that superficial. But she knew that it would be a lie, at least partially. It wasn’t just because all the evidence pointed to him, but because he seemed to fit. If there was a killer on the loose, it had to be the freaky Goth boy, right? That was the conclusion everyone else had made. And she was the one who always followed the crowd.

 She couldn’t deny it, not to him or to herself. She was afraid of him. Yet, something deeper inside of her was still drawn to him. She realized that despite her suspicions, she would never be complete without him, and she didn’t really want to let him go. But she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

A little gold Suzuki pulled up in front of the school and beeped the horn. Through the open window, Darlene smiled and waved at her cheerfully, completely oblivious to the nightmare that Rebecca and her son were living at that moment. Somehow, Rebecca managed to lift her own hand in response, but she couldn’t even begin to force her lips into a smile. Darlene must have noticed her lack of enthusiasm because she frowned.

Justyn had picked up his bag, and started toward the car, moving slowly and with some difficulty, obviously in a great deal of pain. Rebecca watched him go, knowing she should be helping him, but afraid to move or even to speak because she knew that no matter what she said now, it was only going to come out wrong. Justyn always had a way of saying exactly what needed to be said.

“You were never a prize to me, Becca. From the first time I saw you on that stage, even before I heard your voice, I knew that I loved you. I thought I had found my soul mate. I guess I was wrong.”

Rebecca choked back a sob as he eased himself into the passenger seat. He loved her. Those were words she would have given anything to hear just a few short hours ago. Words that would have made her fling herself into his arms with reckless abandon. But now those words only tore her heart to shreds. They made her realize what a complete fool she was.

Even though they were too far for her to hear, she knew Darlene was asking him what had happened. Justyn just shook his head, and then leaned back against the headrest with his eyes closed. Darlene glared at her in a way that was beyond chilling. Rebecca had the distinct feeling that it wasn’t such a good idea to make a witch angry. What was worse was the horrible realization that she had just broken Justyn’s heart, and most likely lost him forever. And whether he was her real life phantom or not, she wasn’t sure she was ready to live without him.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

An entire week went by without one single word from Justyn outside of when he spoke to her as Erik. Even then, his eyes seemed to glaze over, and she felt like he wasn’t really seeing her at all. She couldn’t believe how much she missed him. She had even resorted to changing her routes between classes so she might catch a glimpse of him. But he didn’t acknowledge her when she passed him in the hallway. She was invisible again—completely invisible.

Tom wasn’t talking to her either, outside of the very casual, or the very necessary. Rebecca sighed as she watched him sitting quietly across the lunchroom. He had gone back to his old table with the basketball team, but he didn’t join in with their conversation. He wasn’t touching the pizza on his tray either, and she doubted that it had anything to do with whether or not it was actually edible. She had seen him scarf down worse. But everything had changed since Jay had died. It was like a part of Tom had gone with him. He looked so sad and lost without his friend at his side. And she had gone and made things even worse for him—just one more thing for her to feel guilty about. She was going to have to start a running list so she didn’t lose track of all the reasons why she should hate herself.

“What are you moping about now?” Carmen asked.

Rebecca stirred around her chocolate pudding with her plastic spoon and sighed again, a little louder this time. “I’m moping because I’ve single handedly managed to alienate the only two guys who have ever given a crap about me in one fell swoop.”

 Debbie put a consoling hand on her shoulder. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. None of this is your fault.”

Carmen snorted.

“I really can’t stand it.” Rebecca continued. “I just wish they would give me a chance to explain things. But neither one of them will even talk to me. I guess they must really hate me.”

“What do you expect, Becca?” Carmen huffed. Rebecca was taken aback by the harshness in her tone. She had expected some sympathy from her friends. “You dangled yourself in front of them like a glorified fishing hook, and once you had them caught in your snare, you left them flopping around on the shore until they withered. Then you tossed them back in the water like so much garbage. Of
course
they hate you! To be honest, I’m a little disgusted myself.”

Rebecca and Debbie were both equally amazed by Carmen’s outburst, though it was a lot harder for Rebecca to hear. She felt her lower lip start to tremble, and had to fight back the childish urge to burst into tears like a little girl.

She didn’t like it, but she had to admit that Carmen’s metaphor was surprisingly accurate. Rebecca
had
dangled herself in front of both Tom and Justyn, using her voice as bait. She had enjoyed having the attentions of not just one, but two handsome guys. Before she had become an overnight diva, she had never had the attention of
anyone
. Once she had a small taste of what popularity had to offer, she couldn’t get enough. She had secretly enjoyed watching the boys compete for her attention. And who
didn’t
like the thought of two guys fighting over them? Feelings had been trampled because of her vanity. It was no wonder they couldn’t stand the sight of her. She couldn’t stand the sight of herself.

“That was a little harsh, Carmen,” Debbie chastised. “Don’t you think Becca’s been through enough without you coming down on her, too?”

“Oh, sorry,” Carmen said sarcastically. Her voice went up almost a whole octave. “I keep forgetting this is all about
poor
Becca. Who cares that Jay is
dead
. Who cares that Tom is devastated about losing his best friend
and
his girlfriend. Who cares that Justyn is most likely guilty of murder in the first degree. Let’s forget about
all
that. Let’s all just sit around and feel sorry for
poor
Becca because
she’s
been through
so
much.”

 Carmen’s face was beat red with fury, her dark brown eyes flashing dangerously. Rebecca flinched with every word that she spat in her direction. Each one was like a physical blow. It wasn’t the first time Rebecca had seen her friend that furious. Carmen had a bad temper. It often got the better of her, and had ended in more than one suspension over the years. It was the first time that Rebecca had seen that temper turned on her.

“Carmen.” Rebecca pleaded. “What did I do to make you so angry?”

“Nothing, Becca. Nothing—except you took away the only guy I ever really wanted.”

Rebecca blanched. She had never expected to hear that. She had never thought that Carmen really
liked
Tom. Sure, they had both spent many a slumber party imagining him escorting them to the prom. Rebecca hadn’t realized Carmen cared about him more deeply than the typical popular guy infatuation. As usual, she was too wrapped up in herself to see what was going on around her.

 “If you were interested in Tom, you should have told me!” Rebecca exclaimed. “I would never have stood in your way!”