Pick Me (14 page)

“Yes. I want you safe. If it means I crash on your couch—”

She jumped off his lap, her gorgeous nipples no longer within reach, and moved around the sofa. Toward the bedroom. “If you’re staying here, it won’t be on my couch.”

Hope flared in his chest. She’d just given him permission to share her bed until the show was over. By then, hopefully she’d realize it was time to stop running. That whatever map she’d been following was leading her straight to him.

Chapter 9

Valentina clenched the sagging dress to her breasts and headed toward the bedroom, while the control freak in her sought for a way to keep this situation—their relationship—in check. She could tell Colt to leave, that she didn’t want him shacking up with her for the next three and half weeks. She could, but damn it, she didn’t want that, either. He made her feel safe, protected...cherished.

As her mind circled through all of her options, a deep exhaustion that had nothing to do with the show’s demanding schedule, or Colt’s late night visits, caught up with her. No, she knew in her heart it was her constant need to maintain total control over every aspect of her life which had left her worn out and tired. All the coddling and direction her parents had given her had seemed so suffocating when she was younger. Now, though, for the first time since she’d broken away from her folks’ relentless hold, she suddenly realized she wanted to share her burdens. She needed someone to lean on, to help her talk through the tough choices, to listen when she needed to vent. But after years of going at it alone, fiercely coveting her freedom, she wondered if she could actually relinquish any semblance of control.

As she stepped into the bedroom, she tossed her hair and glanced over her shoulder. Colt followed a few short steps behind, his strides determined and purposeful. An intense edge lined his jaw, while his eyes glittered with lust, desire...and, oh God, tenderness that had nothing to do with casual sex. Their relationship had moved well past that point. She’d been a fool to think she could spend time with a man like Colt and not fall into a well of emotions that had her heart ballooning with an overwhelming desire to love and be loved.

As she crossed the bedroom, her heart rate kicked up another notch, and her inner thighs grew slick with anticipation. She’d fallen hard for him in Denver. At first, she’d figured she had a bad case of obsessive infatuation, her feelings had simply resonated the loneliness that had been consuming her and making life difficult to endure. That cold night, he’d warmed her heart, and had filled a void she hadn’t realized she’d been missing. Now he stood in her bedroom. Offering her his body, and maybe a piece of his heart, she wasn’t sure. At the same time, though, she had realized she’d already lost her heart to him. Apparently, falling in love wasn’t something she could control. As much as she’d denied it to herself, she was, and had been, in love with Colt since the first time she’d laid eyes on him. Now, though, that love had grown tenfold. He’d become her protector, her rock. She drew strength from his solid comfort, and trusted him as much, if not more than her own family. He’d also become her friend.

Her throat tightened at that last thought. Friends don’t lie to each other, yet she’d done nothing but spin lies and give him half-truths. She’d have to rectify that. Now.

The lone lamp resting on the dresser cast shadows across his chiseled face as his lean body and broad shoulders filled the doorway. She stared at him for a moment, in awe of how good he looked. His crisp white shirt made his tanned skin appear darker. His trousers rode low on his hips, and revealed his erection. Licking her lips, she desperately drew off his strength in an attempt to find her own. To admit the absolute truth. While she cared about the people who worked for
Pick Me,
the thought of ruining something that could result in a happily ever after with Colt took priority.

Her head grew dizzy with worry and anxiety as she tried to muster the courage to admit she’d been lying. But what if he walked away? Shunned her? Told her to go to hell?

Before she could chicken out, she drew in a deep breath, then blurted, “Before we—”

“Let go of the dress,” he said in a low, husky tone, keeping his gaze locked on hers, as he leaned against the door jamb.

Just when she was about make her ultimate confession, he had to go all sexy and commanding on her. Not that she was complaining. She loved this dominating side of him. Sex had been one area where she had relinquished control. While she might have chosen when and where they’d have sex, he’d always been in the lead. Wanting to see his eyes flare with lust, and happy for the diversion from her unpracticed confession, she uncrossed her arms. With the back of her dress already unzipped, it gaped at the front, her breasts exposed and resting above the soft fabric.

“Move it over your hips...slow.”

Eyeing the bulge beneath his trousers, she did as he asked, gliding the material until it pooled around her feet. At the same time, guilt niggled at her conscience. She should stop. She should tell him the truth before they went any farther.

“Now your panties.”

Ready to come on the spot under his smoldering gaze, with shaky hands she removed her underwear, then kicked them and her dress off to the side. Naked, she felt no vulnerability, only a deep-seated desire to please him.

His gaze raked over her body, from her legs to her breasts to her lips, then finally settled on her eyes. He shoved off the door jamb, and in two quick strides, cupped her face. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he asked, his breath fanning along her lips before he kissed her with a possessiveness that stole the air from her lungs.

She clung to his biceps, his shoulders, his neck, his back, then finally settled on gripping his hair in an effort to capture every part of him. God, she didn’t want to lose him. She knew in her heart she needed to talk to him before they shared her bed. After tonight, they’d be practically living together, and she owed him the truth.

He broke the kiss, nipped and licked his way to her ear, then picked her up and set her on the edge of the bed. As he began to unbutton his shirt, he stood between her spread legs, and slowly shifted his gaze over her naked body.

“You said you’d fantasized about Denver.”

She nodded, watching every button slide free, anxious to see his bare chest. She ached to skim her fingers through the hair, to kiss and caresses his nipples.

“Show me.”

“What?” Startled, she shot her gaze to his.

He shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it to the floor, then leaned in, his biceps caging her as he rested his palms on either side of her hips. “You’re a highly sexual woman, Valentina.” He skimmed her jaw with his lips. “You said you haven’t been with anyone since our night in Denver, and I want to know how you’ve been...taking care of yourself.”

“Oh,” she breathed against his lips, until she realized what he’d meant. She’d touched herself for him before, but that was during the heat of the moment, while they were already having sex.
This
was different.
This
was a whole new level of intimacy. Masturbating in front of a man...that was way too personal. “I...uh...okay, but let’s get you out of this first.” She reached for his pants, hoping to distract him by taking his thick erection into her mouth, but he stepped out of reach.

“Uh-uh,” he grunted. “Show me.”

Her cheeks burned, her nipples hardened to the point of pain, and her sex clenched with unfulfilled need under his potent gaze. “I...I don’t...I can’t do this, Colt.”

“Sure you can,” he encouraged, his deep voice dropping lower. “Lean back.”

She did. Never in her life had she felt more open and exposed. For the first time, she wanted to stop him and take control. While he stood half clothed, she lay naked, her legs spread revealing the deepest most intimate part of her body. 

“When you thought about us, what did you picture?”

She drew in a deep breath and fisted her hands in the sheets. Everything. Every detail, every touch, every caress.

He grazed her inner thigh with the tip of a calloused finger and sent goose bumps over her skin. “Close your eyes. Do you remember the first time we kissed?” The bed sagged from his weight, his masculine scent surrounded her, then he touched her lips with his in a barely-there kiss. “How I touched you here.” He smoothed her clenched fist and brought it to her breast. “How I spread your legs and kissed you here.”

Eyes still closed, she let him move her other hand between her thighs. When her finger made contact with her swollen, slick sex, he smoothed her hair from her forehead and placed a gentle kiss on her temple. “Do you know how many times I’ve picture that night?” he asked against her ear. “How many times I’ve pictured you like this?” Pressing her finger between her thighs he released a raspy sigh. “How many times I wanted to touch and taste you? You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, and I couldn’t tell you how many nights I’ve laid in bed wishing you were there with me.”

As their joined fingers sank deeper between her thighs, she raised her lashes and stared at him. “You have?” she whispered.

He pressed their fingers deeper. “Yes,” he hissed, and brought his face down so they were nose to nose, lips to lips. “When you come, you always look me straight in the eyes. As if I’m the only one. As if no other man could make you feel the way
I
do.” While he cupped her face with both hands, she kept her finger in place. “Show me how you make yourself come while thinking about me. Show me, baby. Give me that part of yourself. I need—”

She silenced him with her lips, and drove her finger deeper, then added a second and a third. When he released her lips, he grazed his palm along her torso, and gazed down her body. Caught up in his admission, she gave him what he wanted, what she wanted. 

As she pumped her fingers between her thighs, she kneaded her breast. Colt’s eyes darkened in the dim lighting. They glittered with lust and maybe triumph, and a whole lot of sweet tenderness. He wanted her. He’d thought about her months after Denver. She hadn’t been the only one who’d succumbed to more than mere pleasure that night.

Her heart pounded harder. Could his feelings be as strong as hers? If so, could they withstand all her lies and half-truths?

Before she could question herself any further, he dragged his lips over her breast, then down her torso until he lowered to the carpet. Raising her head, she looked down the length of her body and met his eyes. With a sexy grin, he abruptly stood, kicked off his shoes, then quickly rid himself of the rest of his clothes. When he circled his large hand around his thick erection, she groaned and dropped her head against the mattress.

“Uh-uh, look at me,” he said, and moved between her legs.

She raised her head and stared at his chest, his firm abs, then dipped her gaze lower to where he pumped himself. Licking her lips, wanting a taste of him, but knowing he wouldn’t allow it until she climaxed, she let her mind go. Released all thoughts of admitting what her guilty conscience demanded. Forgot all about the show, Jonas, the other bachelors, and let herself simply enjoy
this
moment.

She’d succumbed to his sexual demands before, would do so every time because the end result always led to their mutual pleasure. Yet at this moment, this intimate, private moment, she realized that neither of them was in control. That a relationship, their relationship, wasn’t about who was in charge, but a mutual understanding between two people. A give and take. Right now she wanted to give him what he wanted, and take what she could from him later. His pleasure meant the most to her. She loved him, and wanted to please him, to give him a part of herself she’d never given anyone else. Her love.

With that thought, her inner muscles contracted around her fingers, and radiated throughout her core. She fought to keep her head, which seemed to weigh a ton, raised so she could continue to watch him. He was so sexy. His pecs, abs and biceps moved in a sinewy rhythm as he stroked himself. Imagining the moment when he thrust inside her with every hot, hard inch of his arousal took her to the edge.

Plucking her nipple, she came in a rush, her climax forcing her to arch her back and slam her head against the mattress. Before she even had a chance to recover, his velvety tongue dipped between her fingers, still sheathed between her wet folds. He licked and kissed, then honed in on her clit. When he sucked hard, her orgasm intensified, multiplied and had her screaming his name.

While gasping and panting, still trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm, his legs brushed her inner thighs. “Look at me,” he demanded.

Fluttering her heavy lids open, she met his gaze and at that moment, he thrust inside her. Over and over until tears rolled down her cheeks. She loved him so much. Her body craved him, his touch, the levels of ecstasy he could take her to, but the connection was so much more. She’d scoffed at the idea of soul mates. After watching couples from the show, and experiencing her own defunct relationships, she’d been nothing but a cynic where love was concerned. Not anymore. She wanted her happily ever after. She wanted it with Colt. He was a man worth fighting for. A good solid man. An honest man. More tears slipped down her face. If he loved her, she didn’t deserve it. She’d been a fool to play with emotions she’d known nothing about and had never experienced.

With a husky gasp, he thrust deep, then settled his body over hers, the hair on his chest tickling her breasts. Keeping the majority of his weight on his forearms, he brushed her tears with the pad of his thumb. When she met his gaze, she choked back a sob at the tenderness and concern in his eyes.

“Am I hurting you?”
“No,” she whispered and offered him a smile.