Pierced Love (8 page)

“So this is her, huh?” A female voice says from behind me.

Loudon gets up from the stool and stands up next to me.

“You think you can change how people see her, what they think of her here, L.C.? She‘s still the same girl,” she says with such spite in her voice.

The words coming out of this girl’s mouth are slowly beginning to register and I can’t believe this is really happening to me…here.

“Jill, mind your own damn business. Nothing I do anymore involves you so stay the hell out of it,” Loudon says, coming to stand directly in front of me.

I try to turn and look around Loudon to see who this girl is, but he’s using his body as a shield to keep us apart.

“L.C., you’ve got to be kidding me. We didn’t break up for you to bring yourself down to this level. She’s a freak from Parkland; what do you think she’s going to do with you? She’s not good enough to be here with our friends.”

Just then I see the two people next to me on the stools hop down and rush next to Loudon. I can hear their mumbled voices, but with the pounding in my head and the rapid beats of my heart everything else is drowned out.

I can feel Loudon’s hands grasping for my hands.

But I think it’s too late. Everything is now a blur of failing emotions and misery.

Was this was all an act…a joke?

Bringing me here was for what, for him to be seen as the one who could bring the freak out of her shell and into a public setting?

Oh god, I’m so stupid. I was set up and I failed miserably.

The panic begins to consume my body. My heart is racing, my hands are sweating and I can feel a lump forming in my throat. My chest feels so tight and heavy that taking in a deep breath is almost impossible.

Loudon grabs for my chin, pulling my face up to look into his eyes.

It’s too late.

I can’t stop the pain that is cursing through me and the hurt that swells through my entire being.

I was so hopeful I could change and that having a friend like Loudon would help me.

I thought he was different, but he’s just like them…they all just want to destroy me and crumble any chance I’ll ever have to be happy.

As I sit here watching my life flash before my eyes once again, I can only wish that things could be different for me.

If I was a normal eighteen year old, I can guarantee that I’d be the life of the party, chatting and having a good time with Loudon and his friends.

Instead, I’m just the girl he brought with him…as a joke…no, that can’t be right.

He wouldn’t do that to me, would he?

This is just unreal, it’s freaking crazy...stuff like this doesn’t happen to normal people.

I lace my fingers in front of me on my lap. My palms are still sweating, my heart is racing a mile a minute and my breathing is still a bit shallow. I won’t even attempt to suck in a deep breath for fear that it won’t happen.

I don’t need anything else to pull me down right now.

I mean, come on, when will I ever catch a break?

Loudon, Ande and a few of the other guys are talking in a group near me at the bar and I’m just staring off into space attempting to calm my nerves.

I look over towards the couches and see that Jill doesn’t seem to like what her group of friends has to say to her; she keeps looking over in my direction and glaring.

What the hell is her problem?

I look back around and see Loudon turning to face me with a smile on his face. He takes my hand in his and pulls me off of the stool and escorts me to the corner of the room.

There’s an empty chair that he insists I sit down on so we can talk.

I slide into the chair and he kneels down beside me.

My mind and heart are still racing. I don’t know what to think or believe about what just happened. We haven’t even been here for ten minutes and I’ve ruined the night for him.

I can hear the sounds of people talking around me, but the words don’t register. Loudon is only a few feet away from me and I can’t even focus on what he’s trying to say to me.

Glancing around the room, I can see Jill and a few others have now crowded around the bar. She looks over at me with such a death glare and I have no clue as to why I’ve pissed her off so much.

From what I gather, she and Loudon dated, but he said they broke up. How is this a problem that concerns me? I’m not the one that broke them up. Not to mention how the hell does she even know about me and my reputation at Parkland?

This whole night has been a giant mistake. I should have followed my instincts once again and stayed put.

When will I ever learn?

My entire body is numb and I feel as though I’ve been thrown into a pool of ice cold water.

Why would someone that barely knows me want to hurt me so badly?

It’s hard enough to make it through a day in my own world back home, but to have a complete stranger come after me; it’s insane.

I feel Loudon grab my hands and my gaze is directed back at him.

“Zar, I need you to listen to me. Are you willing to do that?” Loudon asks.

In this moment I can’t listen and I really don’t want to hear what he has to say.

I shake my head no and turn to look away from his piercing green eyes staring back at me.

My breaths are starting to even out and the lump in my throat is disappearing as my heart rate regains its normal beat.

I don’t care what he has to say, I’m more than embarrassed that this had to happen here with him. His friends….oh god, I can’t imagine what they’ll think. He brings this strange girl to one of their parties, their friend chooses to start a rant and then I freak out. Real smooth, Zar.

“Zar, I’m sorry for what Jill said. She doesn’t even know you and has no right to talk shit like she did. I’m not sure what her deal is but she’s always causing issues for me. I honestly didn’t know she was going to be here. If I did, I wouldn’t have come,” he says, straining his neck to look at me.

I look back over to him. So he didn’t set me up? He didn’t know that she would do this to me? Can I honestly believe him or is he just covering his tracks because right now he’s kind of stuck with me?

Completely unsure how to respond, I figure I might as well just take the easy way out and tell him to take us home. The longer I stay here the more likely I will have another episode.

“I want to go home. Can you take just me back to your parent’s house so I can go home?” I ask him in a whisper.

“Zar, don’t do this. You’re just overreacting. Jill is a bitch and everyone knows it. Don’t let what she said ruin our night out together.”

He has no clue what just happened or how it affects me to hear someone talk to me like that. I can’t stay here and I don’t want to be around him or his friends. I need to go home right now.

“Please Loudon; just take me back to your house. We can just pretend like this never happened. I told you it was a bad idea for me to come with you, I’m not part of this crowd and your friend made that point loud and clear. I can take a hint that I’m somewhere I’m not wanted. I just want to leave, now.”

“Fine,” he says, as he moves to stand, “I’m not letting this go, Zar. I’m not letting you go.”

He moves away, leaving me sitting in the chair by myself. I see him walk over to Ande and a few of the other guys. Ande looks over to me, nods his head and gives me a wink.

What the hell?

I can’t imagine, no I don’t even want to know what is being said right now. All I know is that I want to get as far away from this place as possible.

This was a huge mistake and I don’t want to be here or with Loudon anymore.

He says goodbye to the group by the bar and waves to some of his other friends sitting over on the couch. As he walks away, I see them turn to face me; I don’t want to be rude so I just nod with a smile.

“Okay, doll, let’s get you home,” he says grabbing for my hand and helping me get to my feet.

We walk out of the loft and down the stairs hand in hand, yet in complete silence. As much as I want to hate him for bringing me here, I’m not completely sure he knew that this was going to happen. He opens the giant red barn door for me and I follow him out to his car. Still being a complete gentleman, he opens the door for me and waits until I get situated to close the passenger side door.

I can see him cross in front of the car in my peripheral vision, but force myself to keep my head down. Making eye contact with those eyes of his is like a magnet attached to my heart; the moment I see them I have an instant reaction. I can’t…no, I won’t, let that happen again. As much as I thought we could be friends, I know now that it would never work and tonight was total proof that we are too different.

Loudon slides into the driver’s seat and starts up the car. The loud purr and the vibrations of the motor are soothing and I rest my body against the seat. I close my eyes in hope that if I look to be resting my eyes he won’t want to strike up a conversation.

The ride off of the farm is bumpy as we travel along the dirt road and I try to keep myself from shifting closer to him.

The attraction I feel for him is so unlike anything I’ve ever experienced; I just hate that I have to feel this way for someone like him.

“Okay Zar, fess up. What the hell is going on,” he asks?

What in the hell is he talking about? Fess up about what? I’m not the one that caused a scene; it was Jill.

“Come on doll, don’t make me pull over and stop the car. I want to talk to you about this and get it settled. I told you before, our conversation wasn’t over and I don’t plan to let it go until we talk it through.”

Ugh! He is so frustrating. The determination in his voice is endearing, but at the same time I want to punch him to make him shut hell up.

“Talk Zar, I won’t stop bugging you until we talk about what happened in there.”

Oh my god, my blood is beginning to boil and I know that if he keeps this up that I’m going flip out on him.

“Look, Loudon,” I begin to say but he cuts me off.

“Ahh she does have a voice,” he says looking over at me with a wink.

“You are relentless, do you know that?” I ask.

“Mmhhmm, I do. Now, continue with what you were saying,” he says, reaching out for my hand.

Without even thinking about it my hand lands in his.

“Argh, I don’t know what to tell you Loudon other than we are too different for one another. Tonight just proved to me that there is no way I could be friends with someone like you. Jill made is quite clear that I don’t deserve to hang out with you guys.”

“Zar, don’t listen to a word she says and honestly don’t take it to heart. Jill has a serious problem with me talking to any girl, let alone bringing one to a party. It’s not something I do so, to her, it’s a big deal.”

Without even thinking, my mouth takes over for me and I start talking again.

“I don’t get it, why would she do something that like to someone?”

He looks over at me and bites down on his lower lip.

“Forget it; you don’t have to tell me anything more. I get it, okay”

“No I don’t think you do Zar. I like you, I don’t know what it is about you, but I refuse to let anyone stand in the way of what I want. Let me explain me to you and maybe you’ll be able to see things through my eyes.”

Aww, his eyes. Damn it Zar, snap out of it.

“Okay,” I reply.

“Jill and I have known each other since we were kids, like since first grade. Our families always interacted with one another so, of course, we were pushed to be close, too. Once we started to get older our curiosity got the best of us and we started dating. One thing eventually led to another and we lost our virginity to one another in ninth grade. It wasn’t like we loved each other, at least for me. We agreed it was something we felt comfortable enough to do together and get it out of the way so that we’d be more experienced when we started to date other people. I was freaking fourteen and my hormones were raging, what else could I do?”

I nod my head at his statement, “umm maybe not do it,” I respond, again letting my mouth think for me before my brain.

“Yeah, well it’s a little too late for that now. Anyway, we continued to date and experiment until the beginning of eleventh grade. Things started to get a bit crazy with all my sports and she’d complain that I was spending time with other girls more than her. I tried to get her to understand that honoring my athletic commitments was important to me, but she just didn’t understand. We broke up and ever since she’s made my life a living hell. Anytime I talk, let alone look at another girl she makes sure to get her nose in it.”