Pin Down (Men out of Uniform Book 1) (10 page)

Fuck.

Nash opened his eyes, felt the moisture on his lashes and
tried like hell to focus his eyesight. He was still seeing bright flashes of
light. His gaze followed her as she left the room, returning with a washcloth.

It was warm. Damn. She’d wrung it out in warm water. When
was the last time anyone had done anything like that for him? Shown him any
form of selfless consideration? Care?

Lexi cleaned him gently, carefully, and all he could do was
watch her every movement, a contentment singing through him he’d never felt
before.

She brushed a strand of hair back from his eyes when she was
finished. Her lids were heavy, eyes dazed, face flushed. “Sleep, Nash. I can
see how exhausted you are.”

“Nah.” He grabbed her hand. “Gotta take care of my woman
first.”

“
Nash
—”

He’d jerked her down and rolled her beneath him before she
had a chance to do more than gasp. Besides, she’d been too shocked by the “my
woman” comment to do more than just go with it.

Nash looked different—leaner, harder—but achingly the same.
God, how often had she pictured him, trying to remember exactly how he moved,
exactly
how he looked, how he felt? She’d think she was imagining him now except he
dominated the room, the bed, her.

Lexi knew his body almost as well as she knew her own. Or
thought she did. She’d tried enough times to imprint him on her brain but her
memory had barely done him justice. Damn, he was built—long-limbed, strong, muscular,
heavy
.

Oh, God.

He reached across her to tug open her bedside table drawer
and grab a condom, his dark gaze never leaving hers. Her mouth went dry as he
ripped the packet open with his teeth, flicked it onto the floor and leveraged
himself up just enough to roll it down his length with a couple of quick, jerky
moves.

“I’m sorry, Lexi, I wanted to— I meant to—”

He broke off when she ran her hands up over hard shoulders and
around to his back, felt for the rough edge of his new scar. God, she was such
a baby. She still couldn’t get the sight of it out of her mind, wouldn’t for a
long time. And it still made her mad. Mad that he risked himself probably with
no more thought than he would if he crossed a street. He’d looked so damn
clueless and that had just wound her up all the more. No matter how hard she’d
tried she hadn’t been able to rein in her inner bitch and she’d hated that too,
although not as much as the knowledge that he’d been hurt.

“It’s okay. Just hurry.”

He swallowed, closed his eyes for a quick second before his
gaze was blazing back down into hers. “You’re ready for me, aren’t you?” He positioned
himself at her opening, groaned when he found how wet she was. “I know you love
getting me off and you have no idea how much that turns me the fuck on.”

She gasped when he slid into her with a rough thrust,
stretching her, filling her, forcing tender flesh to accept him.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “God, I’m sorry…”

The intensity of sensation at his hardness inside her was so
much more than she remembered. She grabbed onto his flexed biceps, tried to catch
her breath. God, how could she have forgotten
this
exactly?

He eased an unsteady hand between their bodies, right to
where they were joined, his thumb finding and rubbing against her clit. He
spread her moisture, rough, quick swipes against flesh so sensitive she had to
bite her lip to stop herself from begging him to stop, just stop, and fuck her.

He began to move his hips, slight, shallow movements that
did nothing to satisfy her need for deep, hard and fast.

It’s only sex. It is. Just sex. Just. Sex.

“How’s that working out for you?”

Her eyes flew wide. Nash had stopped moving, his dark
features flushed, his brows a dark slash above his eyes.

His mouth tightened. “Yeah, you said it out loud. Does it
work? Telling yourself that?”

God, so not fair. How the hell could he form a coherent
sentence at a moment like this?

“Ah…no.”

“You know…”he rasped, surging all the way in,
finally
.
“As far as I’m concerned…” And out. “This is as far removed from ‘just sex’ as you
can get.”

“You think?” she managed through the sharply indrawn breath
as he pushed in and pulled back out again, and again and oh, God, again.

“Oh, yeah, I know.”

His movements were deep and slow, agonizingly slow, the
delicious friction sending ripples of pure pleasure through her entire body.

“Ah, know what?” she gasped.

He barked out a laugh, folded his big body down over hers
and began thrusting—hard, fast and deep—and she was lost to everything but
sensation, hot, pulsing, full-body sensation.

*****

Lexi was sore, sore and satisfied beyond belief. Nash had once
warned her he wasn’t a twenty-year-old stud, but last night proved he could
give any twenty-year-old horny guy a run for his money.

She smiled, stretching as she walked into the kitchen,
figuring she’d start breakfast considering they’d completely missed dinner. Nash
had already been up and out early, insisting he needed a run to work out the
rest of his kinks. She froze at the newspaper he’d left lying on the table, opened
to the community section, and leaned closer for a better look. Someone had
snapped a photo at the exact moment she’d walked into Nash’s arms at the
airport yesterday.

No one looking at the picture would have recognized them
necessarily. From the angle, their faces weren’t clear but she knew it was
them, just as she would have known Nash’s arrogant stance anywhere. Along with
her favorite work boots, because even though she’d caved and gone to pick him
up, she’d refused to change out of her work gear.

God, she was wrapped around him and must have practically launched
herself at him. She hadn’t even remembered doing that, had been aware of
nothing but the need to touch him, to make sure he was real, to grab on to him
and not let go.

Her stomach knotted when she looked at Nash in the
photograph. Both his hands were fisted in the back of her shirt, his knuckles
white as he'd held on to her, as if he’d been afraid she’d be yanked from his
arms at any moment. His head was buried against her neck, but she could see his
eyes. They were closed tightly, almost a grimace of pain on his face.

Oh God. He’d felt that, all that as he’d held her, and she’d
had no idea.

Lexi looked up when Nash stepped into the room, fresh from
his shower. She didn’t think she’d ever get over that instant of shock at the
sight of him, here, with her, in her own space. He was clean shaven. Mostly.
He’d left a small wedge of stubble under his bottom lip, a tantalizing
triangle. It made him look sensual, wicked and oh, God
hot.

“You, ah…missed a bit,” she managed.

“Nah. I left it on purpose.”

Lexi frowned. “Why?”

He smiled, slow and sinful and the bottom dropped right out
of her stomach. “I plan on showing you. Later.”

Oh, boy.

He pinned her with his gaze. It was blazing hot, filled with
explicit promise and suddenly she was too—hot, wet and wanting to fulfill every
thought he had in his head.

He motioned to the newspaper. “I didn’t realize there were
cameras. You?”

She shook her head. “No.”

He glanced down at the photograph, cleared his throat and
glanced up at her from beneath his lashes.

“I couldn’t stay away, Lexi. I meant to. When I left? Yeah,
I really wasn’t coming back.”

“I know. Yet here you are.”

Her voice was thick, barely audible. It wasn’t as if they’d
stumbled across each other this time by chance. He’d sought her out. On
purpose. And she was afraid to even wonder what that meant because maybe it
meant absolutely nothing at all.

“You slept with me last night,” she blurted out. “I mean,
actually slept. You didn’t leave…after.”

He swallowed. “Yeah. You know, I’ve never told anyone I get
nightmares before. Sometimes…it’s not pretty. Last night… Last night was worth
the risk because no way in hell was I leaving you.”

“Oh, Nash…”

He looked her square in the eye and everything in her went
still. “I think about you, Lexi. When I shouldn’t. When I told myself I
wouldn’t. I had to come back to see…”

Right. So she was some kind of novelty to him, an anomaly. She
didn’t fit neatly into anything he knew, he couldn’t figure her out, couldn’t
categorize her. At least she hadn’t faded into the obscurity of probably every
other woman he’d ever screwed. Not yet anyway.

“And I… Man, I can be a domineering asshole, Lexi.”

She could see that wasn’t what he’d meant to say. She licked
lips all at once dry. “Yeah. Turns out I like that about you. Who knew?”

His shoulders relaxed. Some. His mouth lifted ever so
slightly at the corner. “So what’s the deal with the tattoo?”

Yeah, as if he wouldn’t have noticed. And it was hard to
explain. After he left, having another man’s name on her body had begun to
bother her when in her mind, her heart and her body belonged to him, to Nash.
And suddenly she’d had to fix it. Danny was old news, ancient history and no
more than a bad mistake. She’d lived with the tattoo for years and it had never
really bothered her except to remind her she’d once been young and stupid. And
it couldn’t hurt to be reminded of that occasionally, right? Only, when Nash
had gone it had just felt wrong, so very wrong, so she’d had it slowly and
painfully removed. Sort of. The faint mark would probably always be there.

She shrugged. “It was just time.”

“So now, are you…free?”

“Free?”

“Yeah, are you with anyone? I mean, I know you wouldn’t be
now because you’re here with me, but before, after I left, I…”

“There’s no one else, Nash.”

“I wouldn’t have thought anything of it if you had. I mean,
I
left so if you’d—I wouldn’t have—
fuck
.” He scrubbed a hand over his
face. “Honestly? Thinking about you being with someone else after me?” He
swallowed. “Yeah, it bothers me, okay—”

“Nash—”

“But it’s
my
problem,
mine
. I left. I never
asked you for anything, never promised you a thing or gave you anything, not
even my fucking phone number so yeah, it’s my issue to deal with if—”

“Nash, I haven’t been with anyone else. Not even on a date.
I couldn’t. It just didn’t feel right and I—” Her voice broke. “I missed you so
much it hurt.”

He took a deep breath. “Jesus, Lexi, I don’t deserve that,
but I’ll take it.”

He stepped to her, slid a rough hand around the back of her
neck in a move that had become trademark Nash and held her still. His gaze
searched hers.

“What happens between us isn’t just sex. You know that,
right? At least not for me. I’ve had ‘just sex’ and this isn’t it. Not even
close.”

Lexi tried to stem the surge of jealousy at the mere thought
of him touching another woman, of all the women he must have touched. “Yeah, I
know. For me either.”

“And I haven’t even thought about another woman since I met
you. I couldn’t.” His gaze deepened, bored into hers. “I’m done with being
subtle.”

And that meant—what? “Nash—”

“I know I’m all the way gone on you, totally, completely
nuts about you. What I don’t know is how you really feel about me.”

“I—what?”

“I always thought I didn’t want to be pinned down. By
anything or anyone. I didn’t want the hassle, the ties, the responsibility. I
liked knowing…hell I
loved
knowing that I could leave a place and never
come back if I didn’t want to. Now? All I could think about during this last
mission was being here with you. Actually, the ‘here’ didn’t much matter. I
just wanted to be wherever you were. I missed you, Lexi.” His voice went deep,
rough. “So damn much.”

“You’re ready to settle down, to be in one place?”

“No.”

Oh God, had she totally misunderstood?

“I’m ready to be with you and if you’re here that’s where I
want to be. The physical aspect of it? Irrelevant.”

“But what about your service, your work—”

“I quit.”

Lexi frowned. “Quit? How can you quit? I mean, isn’t there a
specific amount of time you sign up for?”

He smiled. “I used to be special forces—a Seal—but I’ve been—independent
for awhile. It’s complicated, but not a whole hell of a lot of difference
except the flexibility and the paycheck. Jake and I, we’ve talked about doing
something together when we got too old helping fight other people’s battles. We
decided now was the time to see if we could put some of those plans into
practice.”

“Here?”

“Yeah. Here.”

“Nash—”

“I was always sure I’d never be able to remain faithful to
one woman. No one has ever held my interest before, not past the sweat drying
on my body part anyway. I didn’t think I was wired that way. Now? It’s not just
that I can’t imagine being with any woman but you, it’s also that I can’t
stomach the thought of anyone else touching me. It has to be you. I just want
for it to be you, no one else will do.”

The look in his eyes did weird things to her stomach, things
she’d come to relish. Treasure.
Love.

“I’ve never let anyone close before, but you smashed through
every single one of my barriers, whether I wanted you to or not. You’re my
fucking Kryptonite, Lexi.”

Lexi swallowed. The hum of contentment and excitement buzzed
through every nerve ending in her body.

“You don’t fight fair, Nash.”

He smiled. Slow and sultry, just the way that was guaranteed
to get her hot and bothered and eager to be out of her panties. He leaned
forward, his hot breath against her face, his lips almost touching hers.

“Honey, anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty
for.”

She took a deep, steadying breath. “Oh, man. You are so about
to get laid again right now.”