Pinpoint (Point #4) (27 page)

“Anything else you want to discuss?” he asks huskily.

I shake my head back and forth quickly.

“Good.” Then his lips crash down on mine, and I stop thinking for a little while.

Iris

Violet doesn’t come to the office first thing in the morning, but this was already on the schedule. While she’s at a meeting at the Scrapers headquarters, I spend the morning catching up on emails and researching planners to interview for Stella and Blake’s wedding. I have plenty of free time to stew over our argument . . . and Oscar’s surprise visit.

He continues to find new ways to show me how much our friendship means to him. This morning, he texted me—just to check in! No one really texts me except my sister, sometimes Cameron, and now, Dex, who I hang out with occasionally. Waking up to a message from Oscar gave me an instant, goofy grin. It gave me a rush of adrenaline, a reminder that I could face this day and my sister.

Not that Violet’s scary, per se, but I hurt her, and I disappointed myself. This morning, I had to face both of those emotions. Even though he wasn’t there with me physically, Oscar managed to improve my mood and boost my confidence. That’s what friends are for, right? Yeah, I’m not buying that the way my heart races and my lips involuntarily curl into a smile at one little text message is in the friend zone.

That’s it. I can’t do this on my own anymore. For the past few months, I’ve been predicting how Violet will react to certain things I’ve done or not done. It’s not fair to assume how she may respond to my dreams.

The door to the office flies open and Violet whirls inside, her face stretched into a huge smile. As she rushes into the office, she dumps her tote bag and jacket onto her desk, speaking rapidly. “There’s a lot hanging in the air between us, but can we put that on pause for a moment? I’m dying to tell you about the meeting this morning.”

My heart warms, and I nearly sigh with relief. I had no serious doubts Violet and I wouldn’t overcome this fight, but this type of argument is unfamiliar to me, and I am not sure how forgiveness and healing will play out.

Pushing my computer a few inches away, I give her my full attention. “Go for it.”

“The recap meeting with the operations team was uneventful. Feedback and all the regular stuff. After the meeting, I’m saying good-bye to Dom and Stella, and Paige gets my attention.”

“Paige, as in the woman Dominic dated for a little while?” Dominic is the brother of Violet’s deceased husband and a close friend to Violet.

“Yes. She was the one who absolutely loathed me. Or I thought she did because we disagree in almost every meeting. After the meeting, she pulls me aside and shoves her left hand in my face. She’s engaged to her high school boyfriend, and she wants me to plan her wedding. My mouth literally dropped open in shock, and I had the nerve to ask her why she wanted me.” Violet rolls her eyes.

“She wants the best,” I say loyally. A lump of emotion forms in my throat making it hard to swallow. Wetness liquefies Violet’s eyes, and she rushes toward me. I hop to my feet and throw my arms open to accommodate her embrace. We cling together, rocking back and forth. Violet’s watery laughter is contagious, and the hugs fall apart with me leaning against my sister’s shoulder.

“What a pair we are,” I mutter.

Violet sobers as her laughter dissipates. She moves to sit on the top of her desk, and I settle my weight next to her. Violet places her hand on top of mine. “I love you, sister, sister. What I said to you yesterday . . . I take it all back. All the criticisms were completely unfounded. Accepting Michael’s invitation wasn’t a slight to me. You forgot.”

“Don’t make excuses for me, Violet. The date of the Sterling wedding should be burned into my brain.”

“Nevertheless, it wasn’t like you planned the overlap,” Violet says firmly. “No one talks bad about my sister. Not even her sister.”

I smile a little at that. “Facts are facts.”

“There’s a bigger issue here,” Violet hedges. Anxiously, I glance at her.

“Wait. Don’t say anything.” I raise my hand. Violet’s brows knit together. “You shouldn’t have to guess what’s on my mind. I’m a big girl. I need to communicate things to you.” A wave of uneasiness crashes over me, diminishing my resolve. “Why is this so hard?” I burst in frustration.

“Do you want to know what I realized, Iris?”

From the corner of my eye, I find her looking at me with embarrassment clouding her features. “What’s that?”

“From the day that I invited you to live and work with me, I haven’t even once asked you what it is that
you
want. I can't expect you to play the supporting character to my career goals. You have to be the star of your own life. I-I don't think I really, truly understood that until now. I'm sorry for bulldozing you, Iris.”

Shifting so that I face her fully, I frown. “Don’t you dare make my inability to stand up for myself your problem, Violet Harper. We both know that since I was a child, I didn’t have the courage to speak up. You gave me a ticket out of that life, and for that, I’m more grateful than I can put into words.”

“If you don’t want to blame me, let’s blame Father.” Despite the sour memories of our oppressive dad, Violet and I share a bittersweet smile.

“He didn’t help the situation, that’s for sure. Violet, you have to know that I love spending every day with you and learning from you. I’m proud of the events and the company. I could be doing a lot of worse things than spending a Saturday night watching a couple get married and spending time with the most important person in my life.”

“But event planning isn’t your dream. It’s what I want.” Violet jumps in with a sad smile.

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that bluntly.” We share a look of silent understanding.

“When I saw you with all your kids at Oscar’s restaurant, I knew. You came alive that night. I watched you talk to every child’s parent, even the students who weren’t in your class. To an outsider, it looked like you had known them all for ages. The way you acted was the embodiment of my feelings to event planning. Working with young people and baking come naturally to you like schmoozing clients, planning menus, and selecting vendors does for me. Nothing’s wrong with it, but I’ve been fighting those differences since the moment I offered you the job.”

Curiosity wins out over gentleness. “Why?”

Violet’s voice goes small, and she looks down at her lap. “Because I want to keep you. We were apart for ten years, and I’m afraid that if we don’t work together, you’ll go back to Winter. I don’t want to lose you again, Iris. I carry a lot of guilt for leaving you there for so long.” The vulnerability in her tone makes my heart clench painfully.

Reaching down, I clasp my sister’s hand in mine and drag it to my chest, right over to my heart. “There’s no way I’ll go back to Winter. Nothing would make me want to live there again. My life is here now, Violet. All that time in Winter I was asleep, and now, I’m waking up and learning what it is that I want from life. There are all these opportunities ahead of me. You gave me the world.” Sighing heavily, I shake my head. “By leaving, you showed me what courage looks like. I could have followed you. Instead, I stayed home until you prompted me to leave. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be in that house, probably getting married to John Tyler.”

My sister wrinkles her nose. “That goody-goody is not right for you.”

“He’s not so bad. John wanted to marry me about as much as I wanted to marry him. We became decent friends.”

“I’ve been thinking about our options.” Placing her hands behind her on the desk, Violet leans backward. “Stella’s idea of hiring an assistant for her wedding could be the solution. When you’re ready to move on, it wouldn’t be too difficult to find someone else to work here.”

The world tilts momentarily, and I’m thrown off my center of gravity.

“What’s wrong?” Violet notices my distress instantly.

“Figuring out what to do next,” I say a little helplessly.

“If you want any help, I’m here for you,” Violet says sincerely.

Guilt wraps around me like a noose. The weight of the secret I’ve been hiding from my sister crushes me. “I had sex with Oscar.” Cheeks red with embarrassment, I duck my head.

With a glacial pace, my sister turns to fully give me her shocked stare. “Oscar Alexander,” she repeats incredulously.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“When?”

I can’t meet her gaze when I respond. “Last summer. It—it was nothing. I didn’t want to tell you because I’m ashamed of myself, and I didn’t want you to think I moved to the city and lost my morals.”

“Hold on a second. I’m confused. You had sex over the summer, and you’re hanging out now all friendly like.” She pales. “Are you still hooking up?”

“No! Goodness, no.” By now, my cheeks are flaming red, but I’m able to meet her stare. “After it had happened, Oscar made it crystal clear he was not looking for a relationship, but then . . . I don’t know, this whole situation is confusing. Oscar wants to be friends, and that’s what we have become.”

“That would explain why he offered to step in for the Sterling wedding,” Violet says carefully, but I almost hear the cogs turning in her mind.

“Last night, he came by to make sure I was all right and to give me advice.” Violet’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline. “And he texted me this morning to check in again. This whole situation is backward, I know, going from, um, lovers to friends, but now, we’re solidly in the friend arena.”

“Before I weigh in, let’s start at the beginning. Tell me how you ended up with Oscar.”

I worry my lower lip between my teeth. “Not too much to share. After my first night of tutoring, I was really upset that the students didn’t take to me, and he came by to give me a pep talk. One thing led to another, and he asked me on a date. You were with Cameron that night and, I don’t know, I thought Oscar asking me out was a fluke. If nothing came of it, I didn’t want to make a big deal. He took me to an authentic Mexican place in Pilsen, and we ended up back at his place . . .”

Violet’s eyes narrow dangerously.

“You can figure out the rest.”

“So, what? You woke up the next morning, and he said, ‘P.S. let’s be friends.’”

Uncomfortable with the unpleasant memories, I find myself frowning. “Not exactly.”

“Tell me what he did.”

“When I woke up, he was gone. There was a brush-off note on the pillow. That’s when I met his mother.”

Violet practically seethes with visible anger. “What kind of jerk leaves you alone in his house? And, wait, you met Elizabeth Alexander?”

“It was humiliating. That’s another reason I didn’t want to say anything to you. I was mortified.” I lift my shoulders in a self-deprecating shrug. “He’s apologized to me—several times. It was an awful thing to do to another human being, and I’m not making any excuses for him, but he didn’t make me any false promises.”

“Iris, you gave him your virginity. At least, I think you did?”

I nod my shameful confirmation.

“He should have treated you with dignity, and I am furious with him.”

“Steam is practically coming from your ears, I can tell.” The joke does nothing to deter her anger. “He didn’t lead me on, and if I had been really listening, I would have heard him say that he wasn’t looking for a commitment. Don’t be angry with him. It was months ago, and now, we’re truly friends.”

“But you have feelings for him,” she accuses.

I’m not able to hide my grimace, and the denial sounds weak to my own ears. “No. Well, even if I did, I know where he stands. Violet, please don’t say anything to him.
Please.
He made amends, and we both moved on. I love that you’re protective of me, but let this one go. For me.”

Violet sighs unhappily and crosses her arms over her chest. “Fine,” she eventually grumbles. “Can we go back to the part where you met Elizabeth Alexander after a night in her son’s bed?”

“It was the
most
awkward interaction on my end, but Elizabeth was a picture of grace. When I saw her at the Gratitude Dinner, she acted as if we were old friends. Oscar says she’s big on manners, but I think she’s a genuinely nice, non-judgmental woman. Like her son.” I add the last part knowing Violet may disagree, but I stand firmly by my judgment of Oscar.

Violet grunts an incoherent response.

“What was that?” I ask with a little laugh.

“You’re too forgiving.”

I cock an eyebrow at Violet. “At one time, I may have denied that, but I’m learning I need to accept myself for who I am. Yes, I am forgiving.”

“Would you forgive our parents?”

“I don’t know. Even if I was open to forgiveness, the likelihood of them changing or asking for it is close to zero. And I can’t think of one reason to visit Winter. I wouldn’t willingly go there.”

Violet looks mournful. “Sometimes, when I think about our parents, it’s almost like they are dead. Not physically, but dead to me emotionally. Does that make sense?”

I rub my hand on her back sympathetically. “Unfortunately, it does.”

“Iris, I wish you trusted me enough to share things with me,” Violet says softly.

My hand stills on her back, heart lodging in my throat. “You’re right on that, too.” The words come out thickly. “I have this thing with wanting your approval. Blame it on Mommy and Daddy issues, I guess.” I try to force a smile, but it feels tight against my cheeks. “Whenever I do something, I don’t want it to reflect poorly on you or make you think less of me.”