Authors: Faith Bleasdale
***
Thursday was hell. She waited all day for six o'clock to arrive so that she could go to her interview. She was unable to concentrate on anything else and she was jittery. If anyone noticed they didn’t say anything, and for the second day running, Isabelle stayed in her office most of the day, probably working out her commissions. All Virginia had to do was the usual day-to-day work, and although she was busy, she was on autopilot.
At six she rushed to the Private Clients
” floor and asked for Phillip. She tried her best to remain calm: she was determined not to ruin the opportunity. Phillip met her, took her to a conference room and then, her interviews began. She met four people – a manager, a senior salesperson, another salesperson, and the newest member of the desk. Although she wasn’t exactly dazzling, she was articulate, intelligent, asked the right questions, and by the time the last person had left, she felt confident that she had interviewed well.
Phillip returned and apologised for keeping her so long. He said that they would be in touch via Helena tomorrow, but he also said that it was time for her to tell her own boss she was interviewing. This was a good sign: he wouldn
’t have told her to do that if he wasn’t keen, but she dreaded speaking to Isabelle when she hadn’t been offered the job. She agreed with Phillip, although she didn’t really, and she knew that she would have to speak to Isabelle the following day. Another sleepless night stretched ahead of her.
***
Friday was a repeat of Wednesday. As soon as Isabelle arrived at the office, Virginia pounced. This time her legs were shaking so much that her knees were knocking together. “Isabelle, I need to speak to you.”
Isabelle looked amused.
“Again? What is this? Did you take another order?” She was cold even when she smiled.
Virginia shivered. Although she had gone through her speech in her head a thousand times, she still faltered.
“No, nothing like that. Well it’s just that I’ve been for an interview in the Private Client division and, well, they thought I should tell you before we take things further.” The way Virginia said it, rushing to get to the end, meant she didn’t explain things the way she had so carefully planned.q
“
I see. You’ve been interviewing elsewhere.” Her face grew colder.
“
Yes.” Virginia almost fell over.
“
I see. For a sales job?”
“
Yes, as a junior salesperson. Well, you said you couldn’t find me a job, so I called HR.”
“
How very innovative of you. I was sure you didn’t have it in you. And if you don’t get this job?”
“
Well, I think I will.” Virginia tried to sound assured.
“That’s
confidence for you. OK. Let me know what happens.”
“
Is that it? I mean, well, I’m not sure, but ...” Virginia was lost.
“That’s
it. Let me know if you get the job. In the meantime, just remember you’re still my secretary and I need you to do a load of typing.”
Virginia was astounded. Her face was red and hot, but at least Isabelle hadn
’t shouted at her. She hadn’t even seemed to mind. She turned to her typing and tried hard not to think about the moment when she heard if she had the job.
***
Isabelle counted to ten before she looked up. The little mouse had turned into a rat. How dare she go behind her back? How dare she not listen to Isabelle when she told her she would never make a salesperson? How dare she almost go and get a job?
Isabelle called Helena from Human Resources and asked her if what Virginia had told her was true. Helena said it was and they were very impressed with her in Private Clients. Isabelle came
off the phone and wanted to spit. She despised Virginia, with her timid way, her cheap suits and her permanent scowl. She despised her for crossing her. Isabelle didn’t like being proved wrong. She was riding high at SFH, she was respected, and she had a great future ahead of her. She would not accept someone like Virginia trying to prove her wrong.
She thought for a while, then picked up the telephone again and called David Marker, co-head of Sales at SFH. His office was on the same floor, but David was her boss and she never went to see him unannounced. His secretary answered the phone and said that he would be free in half an hour. Isabelle asked to be put in his diary.
She thought it all through. She would ensure that Virginia didn’t get her nice new job; she would ensure that she didn’t work at SFH; she would ensure that she never crossed Isabelle Holland again.
When Isabelle walked into David
’s office, she noted as she always did that it was twice the size of her own. She had often dreamt of having an office this size and one day knew she would make managing director. She would be as powerful as David and no little girl would dare cross her.
“
Isabelle, how are you? Sit down.” David was very professional.
“Thank
you, David, I’m fine.” Isabelle was sugary sweet.
“
What can I do for you? I hope we’re not still worried about the dip at the beginning of the week. I know your desk took a battering, but things are looking up.”
“
Yes, they are. No, unfortunately I have another problem and I really need the benefit of your experience to sort it out.”
“
Go on.”
“
You see, David, my secretary made a mistake. On Tuesday while we were having our big client lunch, which by the way was a great success and I think will generate a lot of business for the firm, Virginia Bateman, that’s my secretary, was given instruction to man the phones. I told her if any client wanted to do business she was to call me on my mobile and I would let one of the traders know and get them to execute it. She isn’t terribly bright and she’s certainly not SFA registered. I told her that the lunch was important, but I also knew that I couldn’t leave the desk with just a secretary on it. She had my number and all she had to do was call. The markets were quiet so I didn’t expect anyone to phone, especially as most of our clients were with us.”
David looked impatient.
“Yes?”
“
Virginia took an order from a client we don’t do a great deal of business with. It was a big order, which made us a good commission. But the point was she dealt with the order herself. She didn’t call me and if anything had gone wrong we might have been sued.” Isabelle looked serious.
“
Good God. What was she thinking of? Anyway, no harm done and we made money. Or is there more?”
“
Yes, I’m afraid there is. She marched into my office the following day and was actually bragging about the order. I pointed out that what she had done was wrong and I asked her why she hadn’t called me. She was very flippant. I told her we couldn’t afford for anyone to find out because if they did they might report us. I told her that this must never happen again, and I emphasised that although we made money, it was still a bad thing she had done. She laughed and said that I was always so over-cautious and then she informed me she was successfully interviewing in Private Clients and she would soon be a salesperson anyway. She basically told me to stick my opinion. I should have come to you sooner, but I tried to work out what to do myself. I tried talking to her again, but was met by the same attitude. She just didn’t care that she had broken every rule in the book. I know what she did was a sackable offence, but I wanted to talk to you and get your opinion.”
“Really
? God, she sounds a loose cannon.”
‘m
y sentiments exactly. She had obviously managed to charm Phillip Reid, who is very keen, and if it hadn’t been for her indiscretion, I would be supporting her the whole way. But we can’t afford to have people with so little regard for the rules in this department, but. even more so in Private Clients. She hasn’t been offered the job yet and I don’t know whether I should tell Phillip or not. Even more, should we sack her? I hate to sack people, you know that, but as you say she is a loose cannon.” Isabelle smiled demurely.
“
I see. Well, she sounds dangerous. What we’ll do is this. We have our monthly managing directors” meeting next week. I will speak to HR and then see where we stand on firing her. If there is no reason why we can’t, we can make the decision at the meeting. I’ll get HR to keep it quiet, although I’ll have to speak to Phillip. He can always stall his decision. Then at the meeting we’ll decide if she has a future here and in what capacity.”
This was better than Isabelle had imagined.
“I knew you’d have the answer.”
“
Yes, but I don’t want her getting wind of it. This meeting is where we discuss all matters of staffing and any problems. Just think of the scandal if we were caught using a secretary to fill orders. Clients would leave us in seconds. She needs to think that everything is normal until HR can sort out the details. We don’t want her flinging any accusations at us, so we need to make sure our case for firing her is watertight.”
“
Right. But I think she’s expecting to hear about the job before next week.” Isabelle was worried that the woolly Human Resources woman would find a rule that meant Virginia would get off with a caution. Firing people was so hard these days.
“Don’t
worry. The decision to move someone internally has to be approved at the meeting. It’s just a formality but it gives us time to look into things. Phillip will tell her she has to wait.”
“Dosen’t
it all seem a bit cloak and dagger?” Isabelle didn’t want to let on quite how excited she was.
“
Isabelle, she put our whole reputation at risk. This is a very delicate situation. We need time to figure out how to handle it. OK?”
“Thank
s, David. I knew you’d know what to do.”
Isabelle left David
’s office, smiling. She was looking forward to drowning the rat.
***
Virginia received a call from Phillip, saying that he would have to discuss the hiring of her at the monthly managing directors” meeting the following Thursday. Virginia timidly asked him if this was a good sign. Phillip assured her it was. Virginia didn’t know how she would be able to bear it for the next week, but she still felt she had it in her grasp.
Phillip put down the phone feeling fed up. He had liked her; the rest of the team had liked her. The call from David had just said that they had an issue with her that he hoped to clear up before the meeting next Thursday. Phillip hoped it would be cleared up, because he didn
’t want to have to start interviewing from scratch again. However, he knew he would have to sit tight and await David’s decision.
Clara woke on Monday and felt utterly miserable. This was not unusual: she often felt like this when she woke. There was a deep gloom inside her, which she couldn’t explain and she couldn’t fight. She wanted to pull the duvet over her head and sink back into sleep, but something stopped her. The old Clara would have done that but she was the new Clara. The new Clara would go to work.
She wore her sharpest trouser suit, a beige Armani, which made her look professional and not too sexy. She took pills to banish her headache and she put on her makeup in the flat for once, trying to cover up her grey skin.
She strode into the office to be met with a flurry of excitement and panic. At the meeting she discovered that the markets had dropped considerably and no one really knew why. Problems in Wall Street had occurred on Friday night and seemed to have had a domino effect on the other markets around the world. They were told of causes, effects, and what the predictions were. For a couple of weeks the markets would be in a state of flux, then recovery would come. It was a short-term drop; everyone should keep calm and pass on the calm to their clients.
Clara understood what was being said and relayed it perfectly to her clients. Although there was panic in the office, Clara kept cool and felt professional. Until Tim e-mailed her demanding her presence in his office.
It seemed like ages since she had seen him. She had felt a lot happier without him and she didn’t want him near her any more. She wanted to tell him, but she didn’t know where she would get her cocaine. She felt like crying as she walked into his office. No matter how professional she looked, Tim always made her feel cheap.
Tim was annoyed. He had been sure that Clara would be at home, recovering from the excesses of the weekend, not looking great, strutting about the office as if she knew what she was doing. Clara was his bit on the side, not a legitimate member of his staff. If she was getting ideas about being career-focused, then Tim knew he was going to have to give up the idea of leaving his wife. His life seemed to be in as big a mess as the markets were. He was in love with Clara and he wanted her in his bed, not in his workplace.
“Hi.” Clara sat down in the chair facing Tim’s desk.
“
Hi.” They stared at each other for a few seconds. Clara noticed that Tim looked old: she had never considered his age before. He was forty-five, but had managed to remain youthful. His short brown hair showed no signs of greying (he dyed it) and he dressed in a smart but fashionable manner. Clara saw the lines on his face, which made him seem old, and he looked tired. For the first time, Clara thought he was too old for her.
“
I’ll be at your flat at seven tonight,” Tim said.
Clara
’s heart sank. “Fine,” she replied.
“
That’s all then.” Tim dismissed her. As Clara walked out, she knew that she needed to be nice to him. He was feeling threatened by her behaviour and she understood why. But she needed to follow through with her new determination, and she decided she would look into alternative cocaine suppliers.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. She worked hard, and she chatted and swapped opinions with the rest of the desk. By the time she left, she had banished the black cloud that represented Tim
’s impending visit.
At home, Clara opened a bottle of champagne and had a line of cocaine. She spoke to James and reassured him that their mother was being hysterical when she had told him she thought Clara might be dead. She promised to call him more often but explained that she was very busy at work. It was almost the truth. They arranged to have dinner the following weekend, and ended their conversation just as the doorbell rang.
Clara opened the door to Tim. Despite the cocaine and the drink, she felt nervous and clammy.
“
Hi, beautiful.” He sounded almost tender. They kissed.
“
How was the weekend?” Clara was devoid of conversation.
“
Boring and cold. What about you? I called you several times.”
“
I was with my parents this weekend.” Clara took Tim’s hand and led him to the sofa. He lined up the cocaine and she poured him a glass of champagne.
“
Clara, you know I don’t want you sleeping with other men,” Tim said, as he finished his first line.
Clara almost choked on her champagne. Then she lied,
“Of course. I only want you.”
“That’s
what I thought you’d say. And as a reward I brought you a present.” Tim handed her a bag containing more cocaine than she’d ever seen in her life. She almost fainted, but instead she kissed him, unzipped his trousers and started to thank him properly.
Clara passed out before Tim left, and her dreams were filled with white fluffy clouds.
***
Tim watched Clara as she slept. She was so beautiful; he couldn
’t let her go. She was so eager to please him, would do anything he wanted and she was dynamite in bed. Tim wanted to be in her bed more often. He was tired of his wife’s lack of imagination, her insistence on making sex a duty, not fun. Sometimes this excited him, having her lying there like a plank, but other times it bored him. At the moment, it bored him. He knew that Clara would never be boring. Now he felt the time drawing near when Clara would be his full-time bed partner. If only she hadn’t got some notion in her head that she enjoyed her job.
As Tim got dressed he couldn
’t help but feel puzzled about the change in Clara’s attitude. Admittedly, it had been only a few days, but it was enough to be a worry: Clara getting to work early, Clara in the morning meeting, Clara becoming popular with her colleagues, Clara increasing sales. And she was showing no signs of wanting to leave. Tim sighed. There was nothing for it. He needed her to need him. He needed her to be there for him whenever he wanted her. He would not tolerate her not needing him. He couldn’t even contemplate that she might not need or want him anymore.
If Tim was in love with Clara, it was a perverse love. Although he told himself he was good for Clara and she was lucky to have him, he wanted to control her. He was going to do this by plying her with so much cocaine that she wouldn
’t know what day of the week it was, what her name was, or even how to get to work. Oh, Tim loved Clara. He just needed to ensure that she felt the same.
***
Clara woke to an empty bed; she had slept through her alarm clock. Although she still had time to get to work, she had to forfeit her shower and pull on her clothes in double-quick time. She was angry about sleeping in, she was angry about feeling terrible. She blamed it all on Tim.
She managed to get through the day, but without the enthusiasm of last week, or even yesterday. She was worried about Tim; she didn
’t know what to do about him. She kept thinking she would mess things up, and she couldn’t bear to do that. She was full of contradictions.
Tim joined the desk in the afternoon. He glanced at Clara.
“You don’t look well. Are you coming down with something?” he said, for the whole desk to hear.
Everyone looked at Clara.
“I’ll be all right, just a bit under par,” she replied, seething.
“
Yes, well, you should go home. I insist. I don’t want any illness in the office.” Tim smiled.
Clara
’s anger grew. “Fine,” she replied curdy, grabbed her coat and her bag and walked out. She didn’t see Sarah shaking her head and no one saw the tears in Clara’s eyes.
At home, she went straight to her Louis Vuitton vanity case, which held her huge supply of cocaine. She had a line, still upset. She knew Tim was undermining her hard work. He was trying to control her in the office. She knew it was all her fault, as everything else was. She had slept her way into her job and had abused it until now. Her punishment was to be obstructed by Tim at every step of the way. But she wanted her job. She wanted to be a career girl. She didn
’t want to be like her mother and Clarissa and all those other girls who filled their heads with dreams of husbands. However, Tim did not share her views. She guessed that if he was serious about leaving his wife for her, he wanted her in bed, legs akimbo, waiting for him to come home. The thought made her feel sick.
She went to bed and ignored the phone as she cried herself dry.
***
The next day Clara went to work, feeling ill due to her bout of tears
, but determined not to let that ruin her job. She would fight with everything she could muster. It was nearly lunch-time when Tim called her into his office. “You still look ill. Are you sure you should be here?” he said.
“Thank
s for your concern, but I’m fine,” Clara replied.
“
I’ll be over tonight at about nine. I’m going to a strip-joint first, and when I’m incredibly turned on I’ll be over to turn you on.”
“Tim,
I’m busy tonight. Can we give it a miss?” Clara asked.
“
No, we can’t. I have to make arrangements to see you, and I expect you to make yourself available. Is that a problem?” He was cold.
“
No,” she said quietly, and left his office. She looked back at him sitting calmly at his desk and wondered why he had to do this to her. She had invited his attention and now she wanted out. Getting rid of Tim was going to be a huge fight.
When Clara returned Sarah was waiting at her desk.
“Do you want to go to lunch?” she asked.
“
Yes, I bloody do,” Clara replied, and grabbed her coat. They went to Bertie’s and ordered pizza and mineral water.
“
Are you OK?” Sarah asked. She was genuinely concerned.
“
Yes. No. I don’t know.” Clara shrugged. The tears she had thought she used up last night were threatening to come back.
“
Is it Tim? I can’t help noticing how much attention he pays you.” Sarah was fishing for information. She had her suspicions about Clara, fuelled by the way that Tim continually singled her out.
“
I’m sleeping with him.” As soon as the words escaped her, she knew she should not have said them. Sarah was speechless. Clara wished she could take them back. She thought fast. “I mean, well, I did, once, and now he’s a bit, you know, well, I think he wants us to have an affair and I don’t, and he’s making things hard for me at work and I don’t know what to do.” Clara lied so convincingly she almost believed it was true.
“
Christ. You know that’s harassment and you can do something about it?” Sarah said helpfully, while trying to absorb the information.
“
Yes, but I did sleep with him and
now
I’m scared that I’ll lose my job if I try to do anything and, well, he’s very powerful.” Clara was already regretting having lunch with Sarah.
Sarah
’s mind was working overtime; she had just won the lottery. What a piece of information. Despite Sarah’s motherly feelings, she couldn’t help but think she should have guessed. All the time Clara had behaved like an idle brat, she had known that if Tim did anything about it she could tell everyone about sleeping with him. But although Sarah had had serious doubts about Clara’s ability, recently Clara had proved her wrong. Clara was quite competent and she was working hard. She wondered if she had slept with Tim before or after her promotion; she assumed it was before. Tim fancied her, slept with her and promoted her. How wonderfully unprofessional, Sarah thought. Although she was not sure that she could use the information, it certainly felt good to have it. “I know. But, well, don’t let him destroy things. Put it down to a silly mistake and keep away from him. I won’t breathe a word, I promise.” Sarah meant it for now.
“Thank
s, Sarah. I feel much better just getting it off my chest.” In fact Clara felt ill with the thought that another person knew. Not just any other person either but someone who worked for Tim. She burned inside with fear at the thought that it might come out into the open. Then she would lose her job and Tim would probably lose his. Moreover, her family would hear and she wouldn’t be able to live with the scandal. She tried to calm down by telling herself that Sarah had said she wouldn’t mention it. However, she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe her.
For the rest of lunch they resumed normal conversation, although they
both continued to think about the same thing.
***
On Thursday morning Tim was sitting in his office watching Clara work. He had been with her for an hour last night, and it had been hell to go home. He would leave his wife sooner rather than later. He would get Clara to resign from SFH and then they would be together properly. That was his new plan.
He thought back to the previous evening when, after an erotic strip-show, he had gone to Clara
’s and made her perform a striptease for him. Then he’d had mind-blowing sex before he left her to go home. He didn’t want to leave her: he wanted to wake up with her, get her to do things to him in the morning, not just in the evening. He knew he was addicted to her. His wife had become an obstacle in his desire for Clara and he hated obstacles.