Pistons and Pistols (7 page)

“Magpie.” She made her voice as sweet as she could manage. “You know you don’t have to start drinking.”

Magpie shrugged as she tucked the bottle into her rucksack. “I know.”

Gabriella thought back to her mother’s prohibitionist meetings. What was it they used to say in these situations? All she could remember was her mother shouting the word ‘repent’ over and over at a poor man passed out in the gutter. Gabriella supposed that would work now just about as well as it worked then, which was to say it wouldn’t. She decided to try a different tactic.

“Give him back the bottle. Get your money back and save it for something worthy of your time.”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can. It’s never too late.”

“No, I mean I can’t ’cause it ain’t my money. And as a matter of interest, it ain’t my bottle either.”

Gabriella furrowed her brow. “Then who are you buying it for?”

“Dot.”

“Dot?” The idea of a grandmother consuming alcohol shocked Gabriella more than the sight of Magpie buying the stuff. Leaning in close to the older woman, Gabriella lowered her voice as soft as she could while still remaining audible under the noise of the crowd. “Why would she want liquor?”

Magpie leaned in to Gabriella, her smile wider than ever. “To drink, I imagine.”

“She drinks?”

“A bit. When the notion takes her.”

Gabriella refused to believe it. “But she’s old enough to be my grandmother. She
is
a grandmother.”

“Then don’t you think she’s entitled to a nip every now and then?”

“But drinking is wrong.”

“And that’s why she keeps it mainly for medicinal purposes.” Magpie left Gabriella at the bar as she made her way to the exit.

Gabriella narrowed her eyes at the woman’s retreating form for a moment before she realized she was being left behind. She pushed through the door behind Magpie, into the noisy street again. “I don’t want to seem impertinent, but that sounds like an excuse one would tell oneself to make one’s actions sound socially acceptable.”

Magpie stopped in her tracks, hung her head and sighed. Turning to face Gabriella she explained, “Ain’t nothing better in the world for cleaning a wound, sterilizing equipment and knocking out a patient like a cupful of booze. You understand?”

“Oh,” Gabriella said. “I suppose that makes sense. So it’s not for her?”

“Not entirely. Is that socially acceptable?”

Gabriella nodded. Besides, it wasn’t her place to judge others. At least not aloud. Yet she did. She judged Atom with the swiftness of a hanging court, condemning him to his lust-fueled fate with his precious tinker. Perhaps she had been too quick to respond. Maybe a slap wasn’t the right way to handle it. They walked along in silence for a little while, Gabriella sighing as she remembered the kind way Atom had addressed her, and the horrible things she said in return.

“Listen, young ’un,” Magpie said as they reached the dock. “I know you claim nothing’s wrong, but you’re gonna have to do something about that glum attitude of yours.”

Gabriella felt the heat rise to her cheeks. “I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet all morning, I’m just…homesick again.”

Magpie smiled. “I can sympathize with ya, but that ain’t what I’m referring to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about the endless sighing and the mile-long frown you’re wearing.”

“I… I mean… I just…” Gabriella hadn’t planned on letting it all out, but before she knew it, that’s exactly what she was doing. Tears flooded her eyes as her declaration came out in a high-pitched whine. “It’s all his fault!”

Magpie guided Gabriella onto an empty bench beneath the towering docks, then gathered her up in a tight embrace. “It’s okay, child. You cry it on out and tell me what’s bothering ya in between the tears.”

“He…he…he doesn’t l-l-love me,” Gabriella stammered into the big woman’s chest.

Magpie paused a moment at the proclamation. “Atom not in love with you? Pish-posh.”

Gabriella could only cry in response.

“I’m sorry, hun, don’t start the waterworks again. I just find it hard to believe, that’s all.”

Gabriella pushed back from Magpie. “Well, it’s true. He’s in love with Jayne.”

Magpie narrowed her eyes. “Jayne? Now this is starting to sound a might bit strange. Why don’t you begin at the beginning? I think I might be missing something.”

So Gabriella did. She started with his announcement of how clever the tinker was, and continued to the point at which she slapped him.

Magpie grunted. “And what did he say when you asked him?”

“Asked him what?”

“If he was in love with Jayne.”

Was the old woman deaf? Gabriella had just told her the whole tragic story, and this was her response? “I didn’t ask him. I didn’t have to. It was all over his face.”

“He didn’t come right out and say it?”

“No. But he didn’t deny it.”

“Then you did ask him.”

“No!” This was getting tiresome. Gabriella was beginning to regret bringing it up at all. She wanted sympathy. What she got was questions.

Magpie grunted again as she raised one eyebrow at Gabriella. “Let me get this straight. You gave this poor boy his walking papers because he looked like he was in love with another woman?”

Gabriella huffed, more frustrated now than depressed. “You don’t understand. You didn’t hear the way he went on and on about her.”

“Of course he went on about her, he’s fond of her.”

Gabriella, pushed to the edge of madness, stood and shouted, “That’s my whole point! He’s fond of Jayne. He loves Jayne. He wants her, not me. Her.” Throughout Gabriella’s tirade, Magpie stared at her, her expression passive, her manner cool as a cucumber sandwich. When Gabriella was done, she sat again with an extra-loud huff, so Magpie would be sure just how frustrated she was with this line of inquiry.

At length, Magpie drew a deep breath, then asked, “Are you done making a fool of yourself?”

In an instant, Gabriella reverted back to tears. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be done making a fool of myself over him.” She threw herself into the big woman’s embrace, weeping her soul clean.

Magpie patted her on the head. “Good.”

Gabriella dried up at the word. She raised her face to Magpie’s as she asked, “Good? How can that possibly be good?”

“Because I would wager that the young man has yet to finish making a fool of himself over you.”

While Gabriella was glad for the chance to vent, this was going nowhere. “He doesn’t love me. He’s in love with Jayne. Can’t you see that?”

“No. That’s not what I see at all. What I see is a scared little girl who’s afraid of having someone love her, so she ruins it the first chance she gets.”

Gabriella’s jaw fell open. She stared at Magpie for a moment before she regained her composure enough to retaliate. “Maggie Prunella! That’s a terrible thing to say.”

“But true?”

Gabriella wanted to say no. She wanted to shake her head. She wanted to get up and storm away. But she didn’t. All she could manage was a weak shrug, because Magpie had indeed spoken the truth.

“Atom is fond of Jayne,” Magpie acknowledged.

“Finally you understand,” Gabriella said.

“And he’s fond of Dot,” Magpie added. “And he’s fond of me.”

Gabriella listened as the woman listed Atom’s ongoing affections.

“He respects Jax, but I think that’s just his way of showing her how fond he is of her. And as you know, he positively dotes on the captain.”

“Enough,” Gabriella said, her eyes brimming again. It was bad enough that he was in love with Jayne. Must she hear how he had designs on the entire crew?

“But you? He loves you, little girl.”

Furrowing her brow, Gabriella shook her head. She didn’t understand. How could he show such affection for so many women but love only one?

As if hearing her thoughts, Magpie answered with, “It’s just his way. He’s a very nice young man. Kind. Considerate. He wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn’t mind letting it thump for every single person he meets.”

Gabriella smiled at the clumsy yet accurate metaphor. Atom was so unguarded with his emotions, so truthful, sometimes brutally so. It was as if he just didn’t know how to lie or even hide his thoughts from people. Perhaps Magpie was right. Maybe he was just fond of Jayne, and nothing more. She wanted to believe it.

“He loves you, Guppy.” Magpie pulled her into another embrace. “I reckon he may have waited his whole life just to love a pretty young thing like you.”

“You really think so?”

“Honey, I ain’t seen the likes of your pairing in more years than I care to admit. It’s like he was, well, like he was handmade for you. And you for him. Like a match made in heaven.”

Gabriella rested her head on Magpie’s shoulder. “I love him so much it hurts, yet I don’t even know him. How can that be possible?”

Magpie drew a deep breath, then exhaled a long, soulful sigh. “Let me tell you something about love, hun. For some folks, love is work. They take the whole thing on like a business, working as partners, giving a little, taking a little, but in the end they reach a common agreement. A deal is struck, and they call it love. And they’re happy, mostly.”

“Sounds like my mother’s idea of love.”

“My mother’s too. Some folks though, they see love like a battle. They fight and claw, hiss and bite. These folks are only happy when everything about their relationship has gone to hell. But they seem to think it’s love, so for them it is. A warped kind of love, but love nonetheless.”

Gabriella barked a sharp laugh before she could stop it. “Now that really sounds like my mother.”

Magpie laughed for a moment, until a beatific smile claimed her lips. “But then some… Well, for some folks love just is.”

“Is?”

“Sure. For them loving each other is as natural as breathing or as simple as opening their eyes in the morning. She can’t remember a time when she didn’t need him. He realizes his whole life has led up to taking care of just her. And when they’re together, the whole world just disappears, leaving nothing but warmth in its wake.”

Magpie had just described Gabriella’s love for Atom Loquacious. It
was
as easy as breathing. And the way Magpie spoke about the subject soothed Gabriella even more. How many years had the woman been married before the War Between the States ripped her loving husband from her? Gabriella couldn’t remember, and felt ashamed for it.

“That’s true love, Gabriella. Real love.” Magpie’s voice was drifting as the woman fought back tears of her own. She had every right to those tears, but perhaps she was too tired to unleash her sorrow. “True love is what you have. Don’t ever let anyone take it from you, ’cause it only comes once in a lifetime. After it’s gone, it’s gone.” The loneliness in the woman’s voice made Gabriella shudder.

“Do you miss him?” Gabriella asked.

Magpie smiled again. It was filled with joy, yet at the same time it was the saddest smile Gabriella had ever seen. “Yeah, I do. Some days more than others. But I have him here.” She patted her bosom, over her heart. “I’ll always have him with me. And I have his birds to remember him by.”

“What about your children?” Gabriella bit her tongue, but it was too late.

The woman shook her head. “I was never able to give my Charles little ones. I’m not right on the inside. That’s what the doctors told me, and who am I to argue? So it’s just the birds and my memories. But we keep him alive, best we can.”

“I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“I appreciate it.” She hugged Gabriella to her again before she said, “But it doesn’t fix your loss. Does it?”

Gabriella grimaced. “I’ve fouled up pretty bad, haven’t I?”

“Yeah. I reckon you made a right mess of things. What ya gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know. I suppose I should beg for his forgiveness. But I wouldn’t blame him if he ignored me. I was horrible to him. I said, well, I said some pretty terrible things.”

“I know, but trust me, once you apologize, he won’t even remember ’em.”