Plainclothes Naked

•
HarperCollins
e-books

Plainclothes Naked

J e r r y S t a h l

N
a
KED

For the anonymous, in all their demented splendor

Do you vow to keep your wits among the witless? Do you commit yourself to pondering ceaselessly the uselessness of caring, the uselessness of love, that great reality for which all else must be abandoned?
‌

—Joy Williams

Hey Man, let’s dress up like cops and see what we could do . . .

—Tom Verlaine

Contents
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Epigraph

iii

Prologue

Spongy buttocks exposed and wobbling, Tony Zank’s

mother piled down… 1

One

Tina couldn’t decide between ground glass and Drano. 4

Two

Detective Manny Rubert hated the idea of policemen

almost as… 9

Three

Upper Marilyn maintained a five-man police force, if

you counted… 12

Four

His mother’s ankles felt like hot salamis as Tony Zank… 16

Five

Manny could not take his eyes off the straw. Tina… 23

Six

Carmella Dendez looked left and right, then slipped

a pudgy… 31

Seven

There was a weird intimacy, sitting in a car together. 40

Eight

Tina could still smell her dead husband’s garlic

breath on… 50

Nine

The Pawnee Lodge was pretty much empty this

time of… 57

Ten

All the women Manny’d ever really dug had been

hugely… 67

Eleven

“Don’t talk to me. Not a word. Nothing. Don’t even… 74

Twelve

Manny had a brother named Stanley he never talked to… 78

Thirteen

Tina’s visit to the funeral home left her in sugar… 83

Fourteen

The place Tony Zank called home, a dank, cottage cheese–ceilinged… 88

Fifteen

Manny tapped a pair of Codeine Number Fours 98

into his…

Sixteen

On her way home from the mortuary, Tina pulled over… 108

Seventeen

Furious, Chief Fayton gazed at his Honor Wall,

focusing on… 116

Eighteen

At the station, Merch sat wheezing behind his desk,

thumbing… 122

Nineteen

Well, aren’t I a busy little man? 133

Twenty

Tina squatted inside the closet, sorting through Marvin’s

shoes. She’d… 142

Twenty-One

Tony Zank was crawling on all fours, nose close to… 148

Twenty-Two

Chief Fayton, dissatisfied with the knot in his Windsor,

undid… 157

Twenty-Three

Manny hung up on Mullet-man Krantz and slid

the Impala… 160

Twenty-Four

Tamping his blood-blotched face and skull with a

paper towel,… 167

Twenty-Five

1818 Pike, the address on Carmella’s driver’s license,

was located… 171

Twenty-Six

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m gonna spend mine on a pleasure… 181

Twenty-Seven

It had been over an hour since they’d left Chez… 187

Twenty-Eight

Dr. Willard Roos poured his protein-and-hormone shake

into a sixteen-ounce… 193

Twenty-Nine

Mayor Marge took a nibble of Balance

Bar—ginkgoyogurt-berry—and rolled onto… 202

Thirty

It was Zank’s idea to peddle the stolen crack to… 207

Thirty-One

“Mustard or dry?” 218

Thirty-Two

Lipton scuttled on hands and knees beneath the

window, trying… 222

Thirty-Three

They’d been inside Tina’s house two minutes when

Manny heard… 227

Thirty-Four

Fayton hunkered over his desk, examining fabric

samples. He’d thought,… 249

Thirty-Five

After planting the docile McCardle on the living

room couch,… 253

Thirty-Six

The idea came to Manny as they passed the Parakeet… 260

Thirty-Seven

Massive shoulders hunched, a copy of Mademoiselle

raised in front… 265

Thirty-Eight

The hooker took one look at Tony Zank’s blood-pulped

face… 279

Thirty-Nine

Manny found Tina outside the station, chatting with

Stuey the… 286

Forty

Once, at the flaming height of indian summer,

Manny’d stumbled… 290

Forty-One

Tina was halfway back to her house—she had to clean… 299

Forty-Two

Lipton had finally gotten his sea legs. 305

Forty-Three

BONDAGE. 313

Epilogue

Manny’s last morning in the hospital. Tina, pushing an

empty… 323