Plan (7 page)

Rachel hung up the phone and stared at the receiver. That was call number ten and it was all the same. Every student she contacted was involved in other activities, either at church or at the library. None of them seemed upset or distressed by the closing of the Center. Of course, they all thanked her for her help, but they didn't seem lost without her. Rachel continued to stare at the receiver for several more minutes. The ringing of the phone shook her out of her reverie.

“Hello.”

“Hi, dear.” Rachel almost groaned aloud when she recognized the voice. She just couldn't handle this right now.

“Hi, Mom,” Rachel replied. “What's up?”

“Does anything have to be up for me to call my only child?” Her mother's voice took on that martyr's tone Rachel knew so well.

“No, Mother,” Rachel said with a sigh. “I just figured you had a reason for calling, that's all.”

“I just wanted to check and see how you were getting along since the tornado. Is everything okay at work?” To give her a little credit she did sound concerned. Rachel twisted the phone cord around her finger.

“I'm fine. They're going to demolish the Center, but my students all seem okay with it. I don't know what Susan's going to do, but I'm sure she'll find another job.”

“Of course she will. She's a smart girl.” Her mother sounded cheerful, but a little stiff, as if she was forcing the words out.

“Mother, is there something in particular you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, yes, but I don't want to start fighting again.” Rachel tightened the cord around her fingers, waiting for the punch line. “I gave Dale your address. Now, don't start yelling. He wants to apologize, to make it up to you for last time. Why don't you give him another chance?”

Rachel could feel the cord cutting off her circulation. “I gave him another chance, Mama. He blew it. I don't ever want to see him again.”

“Why not?” Her mother's voice shrilled over the line. Rachel held the phone a few inches away from her face. “He's a nice young man and he's interested in you.” Rachel felt her muscles clench. The way she said it made it sound as if she were lucky to have anyone interested at all.

“What do you think, Mother? Do you think I'm desperate? That I should take the first thing that comes along and be grateful?” Rachel could feel the tears and anger rising in her throat, making her voice hoarse.

“No, but you can't be so picky. You're not getting any younger, you know. All of your friends from high school are married and have children. You're going to have to come down from your high horse or you're going to be left all alone.”

“I'd rather live alone than be miserable the rest of my life!” Rachel tried to control the raging feelings inside her.

“Well, if you keep this up, you might just get your wish!” She heard the phone click and then a dial tone.

Rachel hung up the phone in slow motion. She curled into the fetal position and let the tears come. Hot, angry tears coursed down her face, but no sobs. She picked up a pillow and threw it as hard as she could. It landed softly on the floor. Oblivious to how she looked, Rachel headed for the park. She stumbled blindly, reliving the conversation over again. It was a repeat of a hundred others, and every time it was like a knife stabbing her in the heart.

God, why? Why does she do this? Is it too much to want a good, Christian man? One who loves me for who
I am? Is there something wrong with me?
Questions and doubts clamored in her head, blocking out any com
munication.

Unwilling to go home or sit still, she plodded on until the descending darkness caused her to take a look at her surroundings. Nothing seemed familiar. She had wandered aimlessly, paying no attention to where she was headed, until nothing was recognizable. Rachel slowed to a stop in front of an old Victorian house. Something about it caught her eye. It was a house with character, a sense of history about it. That was one of the reasons she hated to see the Center destroyed—the way the past had made an impression on the very stone and wood. Even if her students were no longer interested in the building, she just couldn't stand to see such beauty go to waste.

She must have been standing there for several minutes because the porch light came on and the door squeaked open. Rachel's mouth dropped open when she recognized the owner.

“Evening, Rachel. What brings you to this part of town?” Rachel stared up at Randy in shock. He was the last person she would have expected to find here, and yet it seemed to fit perfectly. It was just the kind of house he would live in. She searched her mind for a reply.

She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don't know. I went out for a walk, and I guess I just wandered around. I hadn't realized how far I'd come.”

“Then, I guess you must be tired. Why don't you come in and rest for a minute?”

Rachel dug for an excuse, but couldn't find one. She was tired, but the shadows were still hiding her puffy eyes and rumpled appearance. If she went in, he was sure to ask questions that she wasn't ready to answer. He must have noticed her hesitation because he came down the steps to the gate.

“Come on in. I could use some advice.”

“Advice?” Her confusion gave him enough time to open the gate. Too late she realized the street lamp gave him a full view of her face.

“Hey! Are you all right?” he questioned, his eyes full of concern. He touched her arm and then pulled her gently into the gate. There was no use turning back now. Her worst fears had already come true. She might as well sit down and rest a minute. Somehow it was reassuring to have his arm supporting her, especially when her knees caved. “Whoa.” He caught her with his other arm and lifted her easily into the air. She was so close that she could smell a mixture of cologne and fresh paint, an odd combination. He took her inside, depositing her on an antique couch.

“What's wrong? You look pale.” Her stomach ans-wered for her. She put a hand over it in embarrassment. “So that's it.” His smile didn't hide the concern or the questions in his eyes, but he kept the latter to himself. “When's the last time you ate?”

“I guess breakfast.”

“Well, then, I think you're overdue. I was just about to stop and eat myself. How about some takeout from that little Italian place? They deliver.”

“I don't want to cause you any trouble.”

He waved his hand as if to silence her. “It's no trouble. I need to eat too, and I would rather have company. Besides, I still need your expert advice.”

“What about?”

“You'll see after dinner,” he said. His face turned into a grim smile that caught at her heart. He walked back the way they had come. “Let me call in our order.” Then he was gone.

Rachel looked around at what was probably the living room or parlor. All the furniture was covered in the same burgundy velvet-like material. The wallpaper was a rose design in the same color with hints of blue and emerald. The rest of the room was oddly vacant. There
were no drapes or rugs or pictures on the wall. It
seemed so empty and hollow. Any further analysis was cut short by Randy's return.

“Dinner will be here in about twenty minutes. Why don't I get you something to drink and a snack until then?”

“Let's just wait on dinner. Why don't you give me a tour instead?”

“Sure.”

She followed him from room to room downstairs. All the rooms were done as far as painting and wallpapering, but they all shared the emptiness of the parlor. “Why aren't there any pictures or rugs?” she finally asked.

“I've spent most of the last few months just getting the house in shape. I haven't had time to decorate.” A shadow came over his face as he talked. “Besides, getting the remodeling done is more important now than decorating.”

“Why's that?”

“You're full of ‘why's' tonight, aren't you?” She waited for him to answer. He ran his fingers through his hair. “If I take that position in Dothan, I'll need to have it looking good so I can sell it.”

“Sell it?” Rachel protested. “How could you sell such a beautiful house? Especially since you put so much work into it.”

“Well, it's too far to drive, and I can't afford to have two places. Selling is my only option.”

“You could stay. Give me one good reason why you should leave.” Before he had time to reply, the doorbell rang.

“Dinner's here.” She watched him turn the corner.

“Saved by the bell,” she whispered to herself.

Randy watched her finish off the lasagna by wiping up the last of the sauce with a bite of garlic bread. She was really something. He was going to miss her smile and the way she enjoyed every bite. He wanted to drink in every detail of her face, from those blue eyes to those long legs. He didn't question her about why she'd been
crying. Probably just a spat with what's-his-name.
Rachel didn't need to worry—the guy was sure to come slithering back tomorrow. He wasn't going to waste precious time with Rachel thinking about that jerk. She pointed at his chest with her fork.

“Now, what was this expert advice you needed?”

“Follow me, and I'll show you.” He started up the stairs, but realized halfway up that she wasn't with him. “Something wrong?” His brow furrowed in concern.

“You're not going to show me your etchings, are you?”

He laughed aloud and then put on his most serious face. “No. I want to show you my paint samples.” He almost laughed at her dubious expression until he noticed she wasn't laughing. “Hey! I'm serious. I really want you to look at my paint samples. If it'll make you feel better, I'll bring them downstairs to the kitchen.”

He watched her weigh the decision. With a guarded look she met him midway. “Show me your samples.” It was almost a dare. He had never seen her act this way before.

“Right this way.” He opened the master bedroom door with a flourish and waited for her to enter first. The guarded look turned to amusement. He pointed to a stack of paint samples on a rickety card table near the window. “I've been trying to pick the color of paint or wallpaper to use in here. That's why I was out walking this morning, trying to get a fresh perspective.”

She bent over the samples and fingered a few. She stopped at a deep blue. “This is a beautiful color, but I wouldn't want it on the walls. It would be good for drapes, though.” She flipped through the wallpaper samples and pointed to a small floral pastel print with a hint of the deeper blue in the design. “You could do the walls in this and the drapes and accessories in this.” She pointed back to the blue that matched her eyes. He nodded in agreement.

“What about the bathroom?”

As she walked over, he noticed the amusement had turned into interest. She looked over the antique tub with the claw feet and the marble-looking sink with its brass fittings. He'd replaced the original ones with non-tarnishing fixtures. The floor was dark blue and white ceramic tile.

“I love this bathtub. And look, the color of the tiles is the same as the sample. It already blends with the bedroom samples.”

He smiled at her excitement. He knew exactly how she felt. It was like bringing life to the house, one step at a time. “Now, see. You did in five minutes what I've been trying to do for two days. I just couldn't make up my mind.”

“I'm glad to help.” Her smile was warm, and the temptation to touch her hair was back. But she wasn't his. He'd just have to face it, but he couldn't do it with her looking at him like that. For a few precious moments he had dreamed that they were planning this as a team. This was exactly why he needed to move on.
If that were true,
a little voice said,
why haven't you put the house on the market?

“Here, it's getting late. Let me give you a ride home.”

On the ride home, Randy was very quiet. Rachel tried to think of something to say, but the silence was so heavy that she wasn't sure she could lift it even if she could think of something to talk about. They passed by the Center and she remembered their discussion from that morning.

“I called my students, like you suggested,” she said.

“What did they say?” He glanced over at her and then back to the road.

“They all seemed to have found other activities or
classes. It looks like I'm the only one who's missing
the classes.” She turned for a last look as the building faded into the night. “I don't know what to do now.”

“Are you more upset about the building or losing your class?” he asked, giving her a sidelong glance.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“What is more important to you, the building or helping people?” She looked at his profile, but couldn't discern the expression on his face. All she could see was the outline. She played with her seat belt.

“I don't know. It's a beautiful old building and I hate to see it go to waste. I also hate to see such good programs
fall by the wayside.” She was hedging the question.

“You still haven't answered my question,” he said. The car pulled to a stop in front of her apartment. He
turned in the seat and looked her full in the face, as if he
were trying to see her soul. “What is bothering you the most?”

She looked down at her hands. She was afraid of giving something away. “Your leaving.” It was out before she had a chance to think. Without another word she jumped out of the car and ran to her apartment door, not stopping until the door was firmly closed and locked behind her. She waited for his step on the walk, but there was nothing but silence. She held her breath for several minutes, releasing it in a sigh at the sound of his car pulling away.

How could she be so stupid? What made her say such a thing?
Because it's the truth,
a little voice replied.
It's the truth and you know it. You've really fallen for this guy.
The realization took her breath away. All this time she had put all her energy into Kyle, only to find out he was a jerk and a hypocrite. But Randy had been right there, waiting. He's such a gentleman, a gentle man. An even more shocking jolt was the realization that she had never even asked him about his relationship with Christ.
She had assumed he was not a Christian because he was
a professor, and most of the professors were not. Still,
she hadn't once tried to witness to him. Then she
remembered how he had said prayer was their only hope. Maybe he was a Christian. Still, it bothered her that she hadn't even asked.

Rachel picked up the pillow from the floor and curled up on the couch. How could she be so stupid? Randy had never once tried to take advantage of her like her so-called Christian friends. Susan was right. He was terrific. Now, what was she going to do? With a groan, she fell over onto the couch.

She must have been more tired than she felt because she awoke to the sun peeking through the windows. “It's Sunday!” she said out loud. She jumped up off the couch and checked the clock. She still had plenty of time to get ready for church. Church! Kyle! He was the last person she wanted to see, but there was no way around it. She had to face him. She wasn't going to spend the rest of her life running from him, or let him run her out of church.

A couple of hours later she stood, chin up and back straight at the church entrance. She jumped when a voice said, “You look like you're headed into battle, instead of church.”

“Oh, Susan. It's only you.” Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.

“Gee, thanks. I'm happy to see you too. Speaking of which, where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages.”

“I'm sorry, Susan. It's been really weird, but I can't explain now. Let's go to lunch after church and I'll tell you all about it. Well, that is, if you have a couple of free days.”

“I think I can clear my calendar,” Susan replied. Rachel could tell her curiosity was up now. “Let's go in. It's cold out here.” Susan opened the door and propelled her inside, almost into Kyle's arms. Rachel was speechless.

“Hey, Kyle!” Susan said.

“Hi, Susan.” Kyle refused to look up. “Rachel, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“I'll meet you guys inside,” Susan said. She looked them both over as she made her way down the hall and into the classroom.

“Yes, Kyle.” Rachel stood firm, both feet planted, ready for whatever he had to say.

“I'm sorry for the misunderstanding the other night. It won't happen again.” He shifted his weight.

“You're right about that.”

Kyle's head jerked up. “I said I was sorry. Look,
can't we try this again? You know, from the beginning.” He
was almost begging. Rachel was suddenly cold all
over. This wasn't the Kyle she had adored from afar. She didn't know who this guy was. Right now all she felt was pity.

“It's over, Kyle. I really don't think it ever began,” Rachel said. She turned toward the classroom. “Class is about to start. I'll see you around.”

She didn't dare look back. The last thing she needed right now was to feel sorry for him. She might fall back into that old routine of puppy love. On second thought, no, she couldn't fall for that again. She'd finally met someone who was real and whose character outshone the imaginary one she had made for Kyle. This was definitely
over. Oddly, all she felt was relief. With a lighter heart, she joined Susan in class. Kyle disappeared.

Over lunch, Rachel told Susan all about the last few weeks, except the phone call from her mother. Susan's mouth dropped open as she slapped Rachel's arm in excitement.

“I can't believe you didn't call and tell me about this!” Susan exclaimed.

“Careful. You're going to leave bruises,” Rachel replied, pushing the offending hand away. “It all happened so fast, and you were busy looking for another job. Speaking of which, have you found something?”

“Quit changing the subject. Yes I have, but I want to hear more about you and Randy.”

“You've heard about all there is to tell. He's leaving.” Rachel played with the food on her plate.

“He said he might leave if he took the job. It hasn't even been offered yet. Besides, I don't think he really wants to go, especially after what you told me about the house.”

“Well then, why is he talking about leaving?” Rachel sputtered in exasperation.

“Beats me, but I think you ought to find out.”

“Like I'm going to walk up and ask him.”

“Why not?” Susan asked. “You'll never know until you do.”

Rachel shook her head and took another sip of her tea. “Tell me about your job prospects.” Susan gave her an “I know what you're doing and it doesn't fool me” look and then plunged into the details about a possible job at a local school.

Rachel tried to show interest, but her mind was stuck on Randy. Why did he want to leave? It was obvious that he had ties here. What would make a man give up his house and job to go to another town? Rachel puzzled over it, but she couldn't come up with a good answer. A little hope started to burn in her heart. Maybe he was just lonely in that big old house. Maybe she could give him a reason to stay.