Planning on Forever (8 page)

– ALEXA –

Shopping
is the best therapy ever. I’ve spent the entire day at the mall and I have
decided two things. First, I’m not going to let this breakup ruin my summer.
Second, I’m going to rock out being single. For as long as I can remember, I’ve
had a boyfriend. This is going to be my summer of fun, and I know the perfect
person to call to help me jump start it.

Amanda.

“Hey
girl, how ya feeling today?” Amanda picks up, sounding all sympathetic. Oh please,
not her too? Why can't anyone believe that I’m fine?

“Great,
thanks…” I begin, sounding chipper as ever. “So, this weekend I think we should
plan something crazy and fun. We can even go on a road trip or something. I can
see if I can get work off. What do you think?”

There
is a long pause before she responds. She probably looked at the phone, double
checking if it is really me on the other line. I know everyone is expecting me
to be devastated and sitting at home eating bon bons, but I’m not letting that
happen to me. I can prove to everyone that Collin does not rule my life.

No
man does.

“Um
yeah…sure. You sure you're okay? Have you talked to Collin?”

Ugh,
seriously, I was hoping out of everyone, you’d understand.

“No,
I did not talk to him, nor am I going to, and yes, I am totally fine. I am
great!”
So there!
“I have been shopping all day and now I’m totally
starved. You wanna meet at the diner in a half hour?”

“Yeah,
sounds good.” she says, still sounding confused.

Amanda
and I pull in at the same time.

“Look
at you, fancy pants. Is this outfit new? Super cute.”

Yes,
I’m like a kid in a candy shop when it comes to new clothes and shoes. I have
to put them on immediately. “Yeah, you like? I went on a little shopping spree
today. Out with the old, in with the new.”

“Very
nice.” she replies, with a smile. She must have finally decided to lose the
concerned friend attitude, and embrace my new outlook on life.

“Hi
girls! Collin and Matt are over there!” Louise shouts from behind the counter,
pointing to a booth near the window.

Being
that we’ve been coming here for years, I’m not surprised that Collin and Matt
are here. Obviously the gossip of Collin and I breaking up hasn’t reached
Louise yet. Quickly glancing in their direction, I see both guys staring at
Amanda and I, apparently having heard Louise greet us. My heart instantly
breaks, seeing the sad look on Collin’s face. Although I have so much anger for
him right now, I still love him, and seeing him completely heartbroken makes my
heart sad. I want to run over and hold him, and tell him it will be okay, but I
just smile and find a booth on the other side of the restaurant.

“You
wanna go somewhere else? It's fine with me.” Amanda asks as soon as we sit
down.

I
make sure I sit down in the booth with my back facing him so I don't have to
see him.

“No,
this is fine…Really, I’m fine,” I say, not sounding as confident as I had
hoped.

“Well,
I hope so, because he’s walking over to us right now.” Amanda says, nodding in
Collin's direction.

Turning
around, I see him walking towards me, now only a foot away. Quickly turning
back around, I contemplate running to the bathroom to avoid him, but running
away will look totally obvious. I’m going to have to talk to him.

“Ladies…”
he says, greeting both of us and then turns his face to meet mine. Staring for
a couple of seconds without saying a word, he starts. “I...uh...”

Oh
crap, he looks like a lost puppy. A cute, adorable lost puppy. This is why I
can’t talk to him. I can’t go down that road. Of course I still love him, but
he cheated. That’s a deal breaker for me. My trust for him is out the door. And
college? How the heck would I be able to trust him there? Talk about
temptation. There’s just no way. Just as I open my mouth to say this, I’m cut
off.

“Please,
babe, just give me a chance to explain. I’m miserable without you. I didn't
cheat on you, I promise. I love you more than anything in this world. I want to
marry you, and grow old with you. Please, don't do this. We love each
other...please!”

Oh,
God. Please make him stop.

Dropping
my head in my hands, I have to make a choice. Do I hear him out, or just end it
here? But what does he mean he didn’t cheat?

– COLLIN –

As
soon as I hear Louise say where Matt and I are sitting, I know she is here.
When I turn and see her looking at me with sadness in her eyes, I know I still
have a fighting chance. Unlike this morning when she looked completely fine and
unaffected, this time I can see more; like she cares and still feels something.
So when I see her walk in the opposite direction to a booth, I know this is my
one and only chance. I need to make her listen. If she and I can ever have a
chance of working this out, I need to get her to listen to me. I walk to their
table. However, as soon as those beautiful green eyes meet mine, I freeze. I
see her getting ready to let me down, so I just blurt out whatever comes to
mind. I let my heart out, and leave it there for her to either take or walk
away from.

She
sits there with her head in hands, not making a sound for what feels like
hours. I stand there staring at her, staring at her beauty, and delicateness,
even if it is from her back. She is beautiful in every way imaginable; I just
want to reach out and touch her, hold her and tell her we can do this. We are
the power couple, nothing can come between us. Just as I can feel the tears
building in my eyes, she looks up at me.

“Did
you touch her?” she asks.

Oh
god, please, not here. There's so much more I want to say before answering that
question.

“Did
you touch her, Collin?” she asks in a more stern voice.

“Yes...but
not like you think...”

Oh
god, she is standing up.

“That's
all I needed to know. Goodbye, Collin.” she replies firmly. Getting up, she
walks out the front door and straight to her car.
FUCK!

– ALEXA –

After
walking out of the restaurant, I grab my phone from my purse and text Amanda. I
feel bad that I just left her sitting at the table, but I had to leave.

Well,
I got my answer. The only answer I need. I don't know what the dictionary
classifies as cheating, but in my world, if you touch another person, you
cheat. This is why I didn't need details. Just a yes or no question, that's
all. Cheating is cheating no matter how you do it. My heart aches this time
though; I think knowing for sure that he actually touched some other girl makes
it all that much more real. Maybe it was better not knowing?

By
the time Amanda had gotten back to my house, I am ready to grieve. Like last
night, I can feel the heavy wave of sadness start to engulf my body again. All
the fun and excitement I felt this morning is crashing down and washing away
any ounce of happiness I had. Apparently you just can’t throw a two year
relationship under the bus, and expect to be okay.

“Okay,
we don't have to talk about any of it, but now I know that you are normal...you
really scared me earlier with this whole ’I'm fine and couldn’t care less what
just happened’ attitude. I thought I was going to be checking you into a mental
hospital tonight.” Amanda pulls out her phone to call the local pizza shop,
deciding that pizza is a must have when grieving.

“Well,
you can’t blame a girl for trying. I just didn’t want to be one of those
pathetic girls that sit home and cry all day,” I respond, curling up on my bed.

“You
just found out that your boyfriend of two years cheated on you. Of course, that
entitles you to be a pathetic sloppy mess! You now have a reason to eat crappy
food, sleep all day, and not do your hair. Embrace it,” she adds, popping a
skittle in her mouth.

“How
does sitting around getting fat and ugly sound like a good thing?”

“When
else is it okay to do it? You’re being told to be lazy–why are you even arguing
this?” Amanda says, wide eyed and confused.

“Whatever.”
I throw my pillow over my head to hide; from what, I don’t know.

“Great!
So, pizza is on its way. I stopped and got us some candy. Now where’s all your
sappy chick flicks? Let’s get this grieving party started,” She says rubbing
her hands together in excitement. Apparently this is fun for her. I always knew
she was a little twisted.