Playing Fate (Endgame Series Book 1) (18 page)

“I’m trying.” I know she is, but it’s like she’s stuck in neutral. I wish I could hit the gas pedal for her.

“So how long are you going home?” I try keeping the disappointment from my voice, but I know I don’t succeed by the look I get.

“Ten days or so. I don’t want to be home that long. It’s not really my home. We moved in to Jack’s my senior year, and they tried to make my space my own, but it doesn’t feel like home.” I nod. I don’t know what she deals with because it’s foreign to me.

“Well I should have mentioned it, but I didn’t think about you going home. We planned a trip to Colorado over Christmas break. Our parents are going, and I wanted you and yours to come.”

“Sorry.” Her eyes widen. “I know she bought my ticket the second I hung up.” I have a feeling there’s more to it.

“Is there a reason you don’t want to come?”

“It’s a month away. What happens…?”

“Stop. Don’t do your what-ifs. Don’t doom us. You think by Christmas I’ll be done with you? Or is it you that will be done with me?” I’m pissed. I could work double time, and she still wouldn’t believe me.

“It’s a huge step. That’s all.”

“No, that’s bullshit. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it. Spring Break is consumed by baseball, so we don’t get one. We’ve always done Christmas like this, but I forget you haven’t been a part of us . . . you fit so naturally.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” I nod at her. I’m frustrated, angry, annoyed—yet I want to pull her to me and comfort her.

“Maybe Christmas break apart will do us some good.” I don’t mean the words, but she has my perspective so fucked I don’t know what to do. If she misses me enough, maybe she’ll start to trust in me . . . in us.

“Oh, okay.” I watch her swallow and look over the yard.

“Dinner!” my mom hollers. I take her hand and wrap her in my arms.

“I’m sorry.” She sniffles. Fuck.

“Saylor, quit apologizing. Start fixing it.” She needs to hear it, and the hearts and flowers bullshit isn’t working. It doesn’t stop this pain in my chest knowing she’s hurting.

“Let’s go.” She pulls from my hold and walks inside. Her facade is in place, and she may fool everyone else, but not me. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, her face doesn’t glow in laughter, her words don’t roll off her tongue . . . and she doesn’t say one sarcastic comment to Mace all night.

Watching her retreat into herself was too much. I don’t have all the answers, but I can fix this. I sneak her phone while she’s in the shower. “Mrs. McGill.”

“Yes.”

“This is Deacon. Sorry if I’m bothering you.”

“Is Saylor alright?”

“Yes ma’am. I wanted to talk to you about Christmas.”

“It’s Nina. What about Christmas?”

“Each year a group of us goes to a cabin in Colorado. We do this because of baseball season and Spring Break. I didn’t ask Saylor to join us before she made plans to come home. I was wondering if you’d be willing to change your plans and join us in Colorado.”

“You want us to go?”

“Yes. Our parents go. It’s a huge affair.”

“You care for my daughter?”

“Yes ma’am. I do.”

“Let me guess. You want this to be a surprise?”

“How’d you know?”

“I know my daughter. If she knows you went behind her back and did anything that will cost money, she’ll be livid.” I chuckle and relax when she joins in. “Let me get some things moved, and send me the dates. Better yet, give me your mom’s number, and I’ll organize it with her.” I sigh in relief as I rattle off the information. “I’m looking forward to meeting you, Deacon. The effect you’ve had on my daughter is a miracle, and Julie is adorable.” Another relief. She knows about Julie.

“I know it’s not the ideal situation, but I do the best I can.”

“Honey, nothing is ever ideal when it happens. It’s what you do to make it work, and I understand you’ve moved heaven and Earth for that little girl.”

“Thank you.”

“See you soon.” I hang up and wonder if I made the biggest mistake or if this gesture will be the tipping point for her…if she’ll understand what she means to me.

Her mom stayed true to her word, and Saylor has no clue that instead of boarding a flight for home tomorrow, her parents will surprise her and join us in Colorado. They flew in today and are spending the night at my parents’, getting acquainted with the other parents . . . we didn’t want to change anything, so she wouldn’t get suspicious. She’s been a bit clingy and stays over most nights, and I’m not complaining. I still reassure her when she needs it and give her space when she hides. I can’t fight her past . . . I can’t erase her memories.

We all agreed to have an early dinner and open presents since ‘we’re going to be separated for Christmas.’ Mason talked us into a party, and I agreed to Julie staying at my parents . . . I’m throwing Nina and Jack into the fire. My parents, all the other parents, Julie—they may ship Saylor off overseas and change her identity.

Chinese food boxes are all over the table, and we all pitch in to clean up so we can open gifts. I hope she likes what I got her. It isn’t her actual gift, but I had to keep up appearances. The girls have made six piles, one for each of us, and usher us to take a seat by our loot. Avery passes a hat with numbers in it. We blind draw and that’s the order we rotate in for opening gifts. I don’t know why everything is such an ordeal with them, but it’s easier if we go along and let them have their way.

“Why are y’all exchanging gifts tonight? You’ll all be together Christmas.” Hell, I didn’t think of that.

“If we all gave you your gifts, you’d have five. We’d only have one from you. Stop being greedy and let us enjoy.” Mason is fast on his feet.

“I hope the gift certificate I got you covers all the hours the therapist will need.” She rolls her eyes at him.

“I don’t need a therapist.”

“Good thing I got you the penis pump . . . for your little problem.” She turns and begins opening her present since she drew number one. Mason is fuming, and Caden is chuckling.

“It’s not funny. Deacon, your girl is obsessed with my dick. Are you not satisfying her?”

I’m gonna kill him. “
He
satisfies me just fine. I’m not obsessed with your dick, but it is a mystery. Like finding the missing object. You search and search. Your eyes strain and finally it appears. But wait, are you sure that’s it? Hence the vibrator for Lee Lee. The next guy she sleeps with will think she’s a virgin because I don’t know if you’re capable of breaking her hymen.”

“You’re evil. Evil woman. I don’t like you.” We all crack up at Mason’s expense. I watch as Saylor leans over and whispers in his ear. His eyes focus on her, and he kisses her cheek, whispering back. Those two are close as hell. They bicker like siblings.

Saylor opens Avery’s gift first . . . according to the rules everyone has to open her gift, and Avery will open Saylor’s. It’s all a bit confusing, so I’ll follow directions. I scoot closer to Saylor so I can pull her against me and watch her open everything.

Avery’s gifts:

Saylor: Gift card for massage.

Mason: A subscription to
Sports Illustrated
.

Caden: A gift card to a sports arena—batting practice.

Emberlee: A new shirt she goes ape-shit over.

Me: A photo frame with a picture she’s taken of Saylor and me. It’s a candid—and perfect.

In turn, Saylor bought her a set of brushes and new canvases.

This goes back and forth. I can’t keep up with everyone’s gifts, and I don’t care. We’ll do it again in eleven days. Saylor opens her gift from Mason and Caden. It’s a gift card for the flooring place. She’s confused as she opens mine. It’s a certificate for paint and painters. “What?”

“You wanted your basement finished.” I shrug.

“Can we do it?”

“Of course.” I don’t know why she thinks we need approval from our parents for everything.

“You asked the landlord?” I look to Avery and Emberlee.

“You mean our parents?” I laugh.

“Your parents own this?” She has no clue. Shit.

“My parents bought mine. It’s an investment. If I want to purchase it when I finish college, I’ll have that opportunity. Mason and Caden’s parents own theirs. Your parents, Avery’s, Emberlee’s own this one.” Her mouth drops.

“What? You’re crazy.”

“No, it’s true.” Lee Lee jumps in.

“Why didn’t they tell me?” I can’t tell what she’s feeling.

“Probably because you would have thrown a fit. It’s cheaper than renting. Property values usually go up, so when you graduate, and they sell, they’ll get their investment plus some, so it’s like you have free room and board for college.”

She takes that in. Her smile shines. “I get to do the basement.” She’s giddy.

“No, someone gets to do the basement for you. Merry Christmas.”

I have one gift still to open . . . I’m scared because it’s from Mason. I open the envelope and a laminated card falls in my lap. Picking it up, it has my name across it, stamped in red is the word REVOKED. Titled ‘Man Card’ with the edges singed. “Fuck you, Mason.”

“Jus’ sayin’.” He shrugs. Of course, everyone else thinks it’s funny—including the girl responsible for the revocation.

“Come on. Let’s clean this up and set up for the party,” Lee Lee declares, which is odd because she doesn’t do anything to help. Maybe she’s in the holiday spirit.

If only . . .