Playing for Keeps (27 page)

Olivia gripped the edge of the desk. She didn’t want to get into this here and now.

“Oh, come on. I at least deserve to know what I did.”

“You lied to me,” she announced and raised her chin a notch.

“Lied to you?” A muscle jumped in his jaw. “I’ve been a lot of things in my life, but a liar isn’t one of them.”

“Well, misled by omission, then.”

Noah angled his head. “What did I supposedly omit?”

“That you had a girlfriend.”

“A girlfriend?” He reached up and stroked his chin. “Really, now?”

Olivia nodded, but suddenly she felt a bit less sure of her knowledge. “I . . . and I didn’t mean to, but I picked up your phone thinking it was mine after we . . . we . . .”

“Made love?”

Olivia’s eyes widened and she went over on shaky legs and closed the door.

“Wouldn’t want
Mr. Turner
to know, now, would we?” Noah asked tightly.

Olivia leaned back against the desk once more. “Our conversation is nobody’s business, Brandon included.”

He shrugged. “Go on.”

Olivia nervously licked her lips. “Like I said, I read the message by mistake. I would never snoop. Well, not for something like that,” she amended with a barely there smile. It was the kind of thing that Noah usually laughed at, but when he remained stoic she knew she was in real trouble. She cleared her throat and went on. “But someone named Laney said that she was wrong to let you go and something about love not being the same without you,” she explained in a rush and then nibbled on the inside of her lip while she looked at him expectantly.

Noah nodded slowly. “Laney was absolutely right.”

“Oh.” Olivia’s stomach did some really weird things while she waited for him to go on, but he didn’t. “Okay.”

Finally he said, “Laney Gordon is a producer for
Love in the Afternoon
.”

“Really . . .” Olivia felt a sense of elation, but then heat crept into her cheeks. “Oh, it makes sense now. I didn’t know.”

“All you had to do was ask. Instead, you assumed the worst.”

Olivia closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? That’s all you have to say for believing me to be a total jerk and giving me the cold shoulder all week?”

She opened her eyes and nodded slowly. The pain etched on his face went straight to her heart and it started thumping with a dull ache. “Truly sorry. I . . . I don’t know what else to say,” she added and it was true. How could she begin to apologize for accusing him of something so horrid?

“I don’t know if there is anything you could say.” Noah looked at her for a moment as if he were going to add something more, but then he glanced away. “Yeah, apparently ratings have dropped since my untimely demise and Vince, my agent, negotiated a sweet deal with them if I would come back to the show.”

Olivia pointed to the papers he’d set down on her desk. “Is that what these are all about?”

Noah raked his fingers through his already tousled hair. “No, Olivia,” he replied in a tired voice.

“Then what is it?” Her aching heart began to race.

“A friend of mine wants to invest in a baseball team. This is just the beginning stages, but if all goes well, and I think it will, I want to build a stadium here in Cricket Creek.”

“If you build it they will come?” she asked in a small voice and was rewarded with a ghost of a smile. But when hope blossomed, his frown returned.

“Yeah, I hope so. Cricket Creek is a baseball town without a franchise anywhere near here. With the playhouse and the marina all in the quaint river setting, a baseball stadium and team could breathe life back into the economy. I could see a future with restaurants and shops along the riverbank drawing both locals and tourists. Of course, that kind of growth would depend on the success of the baseball venture, but it would be a solid beginning.”

“And the condo complex is already built. Maybe it would finally sell out.” Olivia felt a surge of excitement. “Are you thinking minor league?”

“No, not really.” Noah shook his head. “Being here in this small town reminded me that so many good players get passed over. This league would be all about guys who never got a good look from scouts and minor-league players who got cut. Granted, only a select few will make the climb or get noticed, but it’s an opportunity for a second chance.” He paused. “That’s something not too many people are lucky enough to get.” He gave her a pointed look that she wasn’t sure she understood.

“And that’s what you’re getting on
Love in the Afternoon
? A second chance?”

Noah scrubbed a hand down his face. “Olivia, I turned it down. So you really thought I would leave you and Madison high and dry? Disappoint everyone in the town where I grew up?” He pushed away from the desk. “Damn, do you even know me at all?”

“I—”

He raised a hand to stop her. “I knew you thought I might not stay here after the summer, and we were going to have to work through that. But, Olivia, your total lack of trust flat-out floors me. You thought I lied to you and you believed I would up and leave the play without a lead this close to opening night?”

“This is community theater, Noah, and we have an understudy. You were just handed what you came here to accomplish. I’m sure it’s an offer that won’t last long. How can you turn it down?”

He blew out a sigh and then took a step backward. “Wow.” He laughed without humor. “Maybe because I care?”

“Oh, Noah . . .” She reached out to him, but he took another step away. She felt panic rise in her throat. She knew now that she had been so very wrong! She wanted to fix it, but she didn’t know where to begin. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, but it sounded lame even to her own ears.

Noah gave her a long look and then said, “You know, coming back here made me realize how much I miss baseball. You made me see that, Olivia. You were right. Baseball is a part of who I am and so is this town.” He patted his chest. “You helped me remember the value in a lot of simple things that I had forgotten were so special. An ice-cream cone on a warm summer evening. A high school baseball game.” He smiled slightly. “Butter cookies. Walking hand in hand with someone you care for. The list goes on and on.”

Olivia pressed her trembling lips together in an effort not to cry.

After inhaling deeply, he said, “And you know what? I realized that my career was never about the money or even the fame.” He paused as if gathering his thoughts and emotions. “I get a bigger kick out of the welcome sign to Cricket Creek than just about anything.”

Olivia wanted to pull him into her arms, but she was terrified that he would push her away. “I understand more than you think. It was about the love of the game, not all the trimmings. Noah, Madison writes her plays because she has to express herself through her words or not feel complete. Jessica cooks with her hands, but it comes from her heart. I teach, but it’s not just a job—it’s a part of who I am. It is such a blessing to have that feeling. To have what you do be an extension of who you are, and yet not be confined or defined by it.”

“It is,” he agreed. Then he glanced around the classroom. “But lately my life has been focused on something very different,” he began but then stopped.

“What, Noah?” she softly prompted.

“Happiness.” He jammed his hands in his jeans pockets and looked down at the green-speckled tile floor.

“And did you find it?”

His eyes locked with hers. “For a brief and shining moment I sure thought so.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “What changed?”

“You. You see, just like you just said, I thought you saw things in me that others didn’t. Valued me for who I am and not what I do. The whole package,” he admitted quietly. “Believed in me for something other than my batting average or television ratings and that I am more than baseball and beefcake. For the first time in my life I wasn’t trying so damned hard to please everyone . . . my father, my coach, my agent, the fans.” He sliced his hand through the air and then shook his head. “I was waking up each morning and simply feeling . . . happy.”

“Noah, I do believe in you. Entirely.”

“Really?” He looked over at her. “Olivia, you thought I lied to you.” He put one hand up. “Okay, wait—no,
misled
. Sounds more polite that way, doesn’t it? Then you thought I was going to skip out of town and head back to said girlfriend and continue on with my life pretty as you please.” He tilted his head sideways. “How could I look at myself in the mirror?” He snapped his fingers. “Oh, right, to admire my reflection.”

“I don’t think that about you! I’m sorry. I guess I was just . . . just scared.”

“Yes, I guess you were scared because when it came down to brass tacks you didn’t trust me as far as you could throw me.”

“Seeing the text message threw me for a loop. Noah, I guess I thought that this little town wouldn’t be enough to hold you. That I wouldn’t be enough.”
I wasn’t enough for my own mother, so how could I be enough for you?
screamed inside her head, but she couldn’t bring herself to voice her worst fear:
I will love you and you will leave me.
Would she ever get past that? She’d thought she could, but one little text message and it all went flying out the window. Her fear went way beyond jealousy. But how could she explain something that was so frightening and yet sounded so shallow when voiced?

“Because I’m an arrogant, unfeeling athlete and you’re so far above that?”

Olivia gasped. “How could you say such a thing?”

He took a step closer this time, crowding her space, making her want to kiss him and slap him at the same time. “About you or about me?”

“Both!” Anger such as she had never felt bubbled up inside of her. Or perhaps it was anger that was bottled up inside of her. White-hot and sizzling, it made her head feel as if her head would explode at any moment. When he took a step closer, she fisted her hands and stood her ground. “Neither of those things is true.”

“Really? Your holier-than-thou attitude is pretty hard to swallow.”

Olivia inhaled sharply and then sputtered, so livid that words would not even come out of her mouth. She wondered if he even knew how deeply his words cut. She’d always tried to be perfect, better than everyone else—otherwise perhaps her father would leave her too. Silly, she
knew
, but the fear was buried deep within her, and for Noah to have reached in and found her darkest fear made her want to kick and scream. Her heart pounded hard and her breath came in shallow gasps. She became light-headed and leaned back against the desk for support.

“You don’t understand,” she protested tightly.

“No, I sure don’t!” he responded with just as much heat.

“Go to hell, Noah Falcon.”

He laughed harshly but remained silent.

She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. She had never said such a thing before and it was on the tip of her tongue to apologize, but she was so angry with him for making her feel like that lost little girl who stood by the window praying for her mother to return. She had never cried, just stood there dry-eyed and waiting. Hoping until all hope was lost. Loving meant risking losing. And she didn’t know how to ever get past that feeling that haunted her still.

N
oah took one look at her pale downturned face and wanted to drag her into his arms and hold her close. Hurting her felt like a rubber band snapping at his heart, and he seriously wanted to kick his own ass. Causing her pain was the last thing he wanted to do, and he had promised himself that he wouldn’t! Even though her lack of trust cut him to the core, he shouldn’t have lashed out. “Olivia . . .”

When she looked up, another lock of hair fell over her forehead, loosened from the tight bun that had given up the fight a while ago. She brushed at her face with trembling fingers and swallowed hard. She looked so sweet and so vulnerable and when he noticed she was wearing only one flip-flop it was so Olivia that he nearly smiled. “Yes, Noah?”

Oh, to hell with it.
“Listen, I need to tell you—” he began just as the door swung open. The
how I really feel about you
died on his lips when he saw who entered.

“Olivia, are you ready?” Brandon took a step into the room, appearing young and chipper, but his smile faltered when he looked from Olivia to Noah. “Oh, Mr. Falcon,” he said politely, but he clearly wasn’t pleased to see Noah. “Um, is everything okay here?” he asked tentatively. Noah supposed that he could feel the tension hanging thickly in the room.

“Don’t you believe in knocking?” Noah demanded.

“I don’t normally knock when I enter classrooms,” Brandon answered and then turned to Olivia. “But I do apologize. Shall we?” he asked and waved a hand toward the door.

“Shall we”? Was he serious? Who says “Shall we”?
Noah nearly snickered. But then he thought that Olivia probably said “Shall we?” and he suddenly felt big and clunky next to the natty high school principal. He looked at Olivia and tried to get a bead on what she was thinking.

“Unless I was interrupting something?” Brandon flicked a got-you-back glance at Noah, who had a hard time not scowling.

“N-no,” Olivia stammered.

“We’re going to discuss some important school matters,” Brandon explained in what felt like a condescending tone. “Olivia had been hoping for a glee club next year, and I think she just might get it.” He smiled indulgently at Olivia and when Noah refused to budge, Brandon said, “Um, I think the baseball team is warming up if you want to head on over there.”

“Right,” Noah commented and brushed his hands against his thighs. He was tempted to remind Brandon that he was starring in a play with Olivia, so he wasn’t as much as a caveman as Brandon was trying to make him out to be, but he didn’t want to go that route. “Sometimes I’m not so good at taking a hint,” he commented and gave Olivia a pointed look. He hoped she might tell Brandon to take a flying leap, but she just stood there looking confused. Then he remembered that this was her boss. He didn’t want to put her in any kind of predicament, and he seriously needed to leave before he punched Brandon Turner in the mouth. “I believe I
shall
.” He gave them a brief salute and then concentrated hard on not stomping out of the room like an angry child.