Playing for Kicks (Play Makers Book 5) (56 page)

Then Frankie Valli’s voice warbled “Sherry,
Sherry baby,” from the cell phone in his pocket.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I’ll turn it off.”

“No!” She sprinted over and said in a
panicked voice, “You
have
to answer it. What if the divorce
is final? What if she’s willing to hang out with Erica?”

“Huh?”

“Please, Sean?
Please?
We have to
know, don’t we?”

Dumbfounded, he pulled out the phone and
grudgingly accepted the call.

Chapter
Eighteen

With her heart pounding, Tess tried to move
away. To give him some privacy. But he grappled her against himself
in a motion that seemed rough, at least for Sean. Then for the
first time, she noticed how truly angry he looked. Maybe at
Kerrie.

Maybe at Tess.

Putting the call on speaker, he said gruffly,
“Kerrie?”

“Oh, Sean! Thanks for picking up. I didn’t
think you would.”

“Yeah, me either. What’s up?”

“Well . . .” The poor woman sounded so
scattered. “I have some good news. Great news, actually. And I
wanted you to hear it from me.”

Sean seemed to relax a bit. “Did you finally
mend fences with your sister?”

“That bitch? Never. It’s ten times better
than that. Coz and I are getting married again.”

“Huh?”

“Well, technically we’re still married, but
he wants to go to Vegas and make it official again.”

“That’s crazy,” Sean told her bluntly. “He
treated you like shit, remember?”

“I don’t blame you for saying that,” Kerrie
murmured.
“I’m
the one who told you all those awful stories.
But I never told you how sweet and romantic he was in the
beginning. Before he took that awful job with the Lancers. That’s
when everything changed, you know. He worked so hard. And Johnny
Spurling took all the credit. It crushed him, Sean. But now he’s
his old self again.”

Sean scowled. “Don’t listen to that bullshit.
John
bailed
him
out.”

“You’re biased. Because you’re so in love
with Erica,” Kerrie sniffed. “But I was there, so I know.”

As Tess watched, Sean exhaled slowly before
saying in a calm voice, “Have you told Rachel about this?”

“No, I wanted to tell you first. I figured I
owed you that.”

“Talk to Rachel. If she thinks it’s a good
idea, go for it. If she doesn’t, then listen to her. Or don’t,” he
added hotly. “It’s not my business anymore.”

“Of course it is. And of course I’ll talk to
Rachel. She’ll be against it at first, but when she hears how much
he’s been spoiling me.” Her voice took on a dreamy tone. “I told
him about getting my virginity restored and he
loves
the
idea. He says it was the only thing missing from our
first
honeymoon. Isn’t that romantic?”

Tess’s hand flew to her mouth to stifle a
gasp. What kind of man said that to his wife? Even his almost
ex
-wife.

Sean’s expression hardened. “Talk to
Rachel.”

“I will.”

“Listen, Kerrie, I’ve gotta go. Just try not
to do anything crazy.”

She sighed. “You sound busy.”

“Yeah, and I’m not the right person to call
anymore. You get that, don’t you?”

“We’re both moving on,” she agreed. “Rachel
says you have a new girlfriend. Is it serious?”

“That’s between me and her. So just—well,
take care of yourself.”

“You, too, Sean. I’ll always love you, you
know.”

He grunted and disconnected the call without
loosening his grip on Tess.

So she said gently, “I’m so sorry, Sean.”

He didn’t seem to register her words.
Instead, he just stared down at her for a moment. Then he demanded,
“What the hell? You think I want
her?”

Shocked, she murmured, “You had to take that
call. Otherwise you would have wondered—”

“Wondered
what?”

Confused, she pulled away and walked over to
a row of hooks to get his bathrobe. Once she had covered herself,
she used her calmest voice to suggest, “Maybe we should talk
downstairs.”

“Yeah, maybe so.”

She had expected him to protest—to say they
should do this in bed—but he was right. They needed to focus. Maybe
even argue. But it didn’t change how they felt, did it?

So she held out her hand to him, and because
he was still Sean, he walked over and accepted it. Then he led her
through the bedroom and down the stairs.

In the living room, she curled up on the
sofa, then motioned for him to join her.

“I’d rather stand,” he said gently.

Surprised, she looked down at her hands,
wondering what to say now. How to begin. He seemed so far away. So
far apart from her. If she couldn’t gaze into his eyes, things had
fundamentally changed. Because eye contact was Sean’s secret
weapon. Had been right from the start.

So what was this?

Then he surprised her by sitting with her
after all. “I thought we settled this Kerrie thing weeks ago. You
were fine with it. Cool about it. Now this?”

“I didn’t have all the information back then.
Which is my own fault, since you tried to talk about her, but I
always said . . .”

“That she was my past. You were my future.”
He reached for her hand. “What kind of new information? Something
Erica said?”

“No, no. I mean she confirmed it, but really
. . .” She stared gratefully into his eyes. “I always knew you
loved Kerrie. I mean, you compromised your principles by sleeping
with her even though she was married. And you were unofficially
engaged. But—well, you know the rap on you. That you fall in love
with every girl you meet. So I guess I didn’t feel threatened by
it. Especially with the twin stuff for comic relief. I’m so sorry,
Sean. I should have let you tell me the whole story.”

He seemed mystified. “What
is
the
whole story?”

“Remember Bam’s toast? Not the puzzle-piece
one, but how he was grateful to me for luring you away from Kerrie.
Because you loved her so much you almost quit football for her? It
didn’t make sense. Because I didn’t know she was Kerrie
Cosner.
Your coach’s wife.”

His eyes flashed with pain. “And now you
think I’m an a-hole for sleeping with my coach’s wife? Join the
club.”

“Oh, my God, no. It’s just the opposite. I
feel so bad for you. Because you must have been so hopelessly in
love to take that risk. Much less to consider leaving football for
her. It’s s-so romantic.”

“Hey.” He braced her chin with his palm,
forcing her to keep eye contact. “That wasn’t love, baby. That was
shame.”

She stared in confusion. “What?”

“I was so ashamed,” he insisted stubbornly.
“I mean, we all hated Coz, but still, sleeping with the coach’s
wife made
me
the douchebag. I couldn’t face my teammates.
And a trade wouldn’t do it because
any
teammate would look
at me that way. And they’d be right.”

She started to sympathize but he cut her off.
“I’m sorry you heard it that way. And remind me to strangle
Bannerman. But it wasn’t romantic, Tess. Take my word for
that.”

“Then why . . . ?”

“Yeah, that’s the question.” He moved a few
inches away, his eyes clouded. “I’ve had a lot of time to think
about it. Figure out what actually happened back then. And once I
figured it out, I should have told you everything. I’m not proud of
it, but anything’s better than
this
. So I’ll just start at
the beginning, okay?”

“I already know how it started,” she reminded
him. “You saw her in a bar but thought she was Melody. The
un
married twin.”

“It started way before that. Back when Murf
and John first convinced the owner to bring me in as a kicker. Coz
was against it, and that didn’t bother me. Or at least, not a lot.
He had a right to his opinion.” He cleared his throat. “I found out
quick that none of the players respected him. And I found out why.
The guy was all about PR, not about working for a living. He dumped
all that on John, and since John wanted the Super Bowl, he went
along with it.”

“And the owner just let Coz do that?”

“They went to college together so he turned a
blind eye. Anyway, Coz always treated me like shit. And then when I
broke Bannerman’s hand, and had some bad games, he was quick to
talk about benching me. Bringing in someone else. And yeah, it
probably made sense at some point. But the way he said it. Like he
wanted to stick it to me personally—”

“It’s so unfair! You were the best in the
league. Even
I
know that. No wonder you hate him.”

“Yeah.” He took her hand again. “His wife
didn’t come to many games, but I’d see her in a luxury suite every
once in a while, and she always looked so lonely. Almost
victimized, if that makes sense. Really pretty and sweet, too. Sexy
for sure. So I had this fantasy about rescuing her from him.
Setting her free, right? But obviously, I never would have acted on
it. Or at least, I hope not.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

He shrugged. “When I saw her in that bar, I
was feeling pretty down. And yeah, I thought it was Melody, but
that almost makes it worse, right? I wasn’t trying to rescue
anybody. And she was still his sister-in-law. So I was still
sticking it to him. Revenge for all the humiliating crap he heaped
on me.”

“But there was chemistry too. Not just
revenge.”

“That’s true,” he admitted gratefully. “And I
let
her
make the first move just to be sure. Then we went
out to the parking lot and got it on behind a Dumpster and I
figured that was the end of it. Which worked for me. But it was
Kerrie, and she was so freaking needy, talking about how shitty Coz
treated her.” He rubbed his eyes then admitted, “I told myself I
couldn’t walk away. She needed to divorce him for her own good.
After that, I planned on dating her. To see if there was anything
besides hot sex and guilt. And I wanted to wait until the divorce
was final before I told John, because”—his eyes flashed—“I
knew
what he’d think of me. What my aunt and uncle would
think of me. Not just sleeping with a married woman, but my coach’s
wife?”

She sandwiched his face between her hands.
“What a nightmare.”

“I brought it on myself. And it was worse for
her, since all her friends were NFL wives. Sleeping with her
husband’s player? They would have shunned her. Mocked her. I
couldn’t put her through that.
That’s
why I thought about
quitting the team. Quitting football entirely. The shame on me—on
her—would have crushed us.”

“But it didn’t. She’s happy.
You’re
happy. I mean . . .” She smiled wryly. “You
are
happy,
right?”

He stared for a moment, then said softly,
“You need to listen—
really
listen—to this part. I was so
trapped. So doomed. Then it got even worse when Kerrie refused to
socialize with my friends. She had always been weird about the
Spurlings, but at least she could see they were trying to help.
Then suddenly, she hated them. Especially Erica. It was the last
straw. So I tried to break it off, just to get some peace. I had
given up on actual love by then. I just wanted to breathe again.
Because all of the oxygen had been sucked out of my world.
All
of it.”

Tess stared in dismay. She had known things
were bad at the end. But
this?
She selfishly appreciated
knowing Kerrie wasn’t his Juliet—not by a long stretch. But to see
him so miserable? To know he still carried that pain inside
himself?

Out of nowhere, he surprised her with a
breathtaking smile. “Then I met
you
. We went out on the
deck, and there was this awesome rush of air. Pure oxygen all
around me. And I realized I could be free again. Free to fall in
love. Free to be with my friends. Free to play football. And
mostly”—his eyes burst into flames—“free to be with
you.
The
girl of my dreams.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “What?”

He pulled her onto his lap. “Don’t cry, baby.
I’m sorry I put you through this.”

She giggled through her sobs. “These are
tears of happiness. Because I can’t believe my ears. Because .
. .” She slipped her hand behind his neck, ready to kiss him.
But first she had to explain. “You’ve been in love a lot. But I
thought it was different with me—”

“It
is.”

“I know. But last week, I thought it was
Kerrie, not me. And I tried to make peace with that. Because at
least I ended up with you. I’m sorry you went through hell, but I’m
so happy for
me.
Because you’re the great love of my life.
And now—” Her sobs erupted and she could barely add, “Now I know
I’m
yours,
too.”

“I felt it that first night,” he said,
cradling her closer. “But everyone told me to take a break. Even
you
told me to. And I knew you were right, so I tried to
play it cool. Then I called you about my conversation with Riga.
And you came running to me. Blew off your shift at Zone D. That’s
when I knew for sure.”

“I knew it too,” she admitted. “But I fought
it because of your romantic escapades. I couldn’t take the chance
of being just another girl to you. You convinced me over time I was
special . . .”

“Then Bannerman made his idiot toast?”

“I’m
glad
he did it. I needed to know.
And
you
needed to explain it to me
exactly
the way
you just did. That you were driven by shame, not love. Not even
guilt. It’s harsh, but I needed to hear it. Because it makes all
the difference.”

“Good.” He pushed her gently back onto the
couch, then stretched over her. “I want to be with you forever. But
we’ll still take it slow—”

“We’ll take it slow because it’s more fun,”
she told him with a teary smile. “But don’t kid yourself. I’ve been
waiting for you my whole life.”