Playing for Kicks (Play Makers Book 5) (9 page)

“Then let’s
do
that. I’m offering all
those things.”

He stared down at her, willing her to
understand. “I think we found out the hard way. You’ve been
dragging your feet on the divorce for a reason. You thrive on
melodrama. And seriously, honey, I hate it. And you want to be
alone with me all the time, which is flattering, but I need my
friends too. You hate your family, I
love
my family. We have
zero in common besides sex.” Trying not to cringe from the hurt in
her eyes, he said firmly, “The fact that our relationship works for
you but makes
me
miserable says it all.”

She brushed at the tears in her eyes, then
asked angrily, “Is there someone else?”

“Geezus, Kerrie, no. I’ve been feeling this
way for weeks. Maybe longer. It’s about
us
. Two people who
tried and failed.”

Her eyebrow arched sharply. “I know you, Sean
Decker. You
think
you can abstain from sex, but you can’t go
a week without it. Yet here you are, resisting me in
this
outfit. So stop lying and tell me who you slept with.” Exhaling
loudly, she demanded, “Was it Erica?”

“Geezus, Kerrie,
no.”

“The agent with the big tits?”

“Cut it out,” he warned.

“Tell me the truth.”

His stomach clenched but he forced himself to
answer. “I was going to tell you about this eventually. I had sex
with
you
. Two nights ago.”

She was silent for a moment, then an
unexpected twinkle lit her eyes. “Hmm?”

And as annoyed and frustrated as he felt, he
still had to appreciate her quirky humor.

For the right guy, she would be so much
fun.

So he smiled in apology when he said, “Melody
came to my house Friday night. Dressed as you. Impersonating you.
And yeah, I had sex with her. It was a huge mistake, but I swear I
didn’t know.”

“That
bitch.”
Kerrie began to pace.
“She visited when Mom and Dad were here and pretended she wanted to
mend fences. So I told her how we were being celibate until I got
the surgery, and of
course
she immediately uses it against
me.”

“That’s exactly how it happened,” he agreed.
“She said it straight out. That it was revenge for the way you
stole Coz from her. Not that you did,” he added quickly.

Kerrie cocked her head to the side and
studied him. Finally she smiled. “You thought it was me? And you
couldn’t resist having sex with me? That’s so sweet, Sean.” She
moved toward him, her eyes smoldering. “Do it again.”

“Wait.” He winced at his harsh tone but
continued. “I didn’t sleep with her right away. I actually broke up
with her first. Thinking it was you. I’m sorry, Kerrie, but that’s
what actually happened. The sex came later, but only because she
insisted on it. And I had promised we’d do it once we were done
talking. So I was stuck.”

Her voice grew shaky. “You broke up with her?
And now you’re breaking up with
me?”

A lump in his throat almost prevented him
from responding. “Yeah. I’m sorry, honey. But you can’t be too
surprised. I’ve been trying for weeks. I mean,
look
at you,”
he added desperately. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the
entire world. And the best lay I ever had. It just didn’t work out
for us. But I’ll never regret the fun we had.”

“Better than Melody?” she demanded.

Startled, he said quickly, “Absolutely.”

“In what way? I mean . . .” She smiled
hopefully. “We have identical va-jay-jays, so it must be my
technique, right?”

His head was spinning. Melody had actually
given him great advice. And didn’t it
prove
Kerrie was
irrational? Because what woman would rather hear she was a great
lay than an amazing person?

“It was the technique,” he bluffed finally.
“You’re the best, babe. You must know that.”

She smiled in quiet satisfaction. “I guess we
did
know, didn’t we? Coz slept with her for a year, then
married me instead. And you . . .” She stepped up to him and
murmured, “If I’m really the best, then shouldn’t you give it one
last try?”

“The best in bed,” he reminded her. “But
we’re incompatible. And . . .” He exhaled sharply. “I‘m not
happy, Kerrie. It’s as simple as that.”

“Well . . .” Her eyes grew dim. “You
make
me
happy. You’re all I want. I want to give my
virginity
to you. What more can you ask?”

“I’m sorry, honey.”

She nodded, her eyes swimming with tears
again. “I’ll just stay with Coz then. And I’ll always treasure
these months with you.”

“Stay with Coz? He treats you like
shit.”
Grabbing her shoulders, he argued, “You say you’re
horny. But the guy never touches you. What about
that?”

She sniffed, suddenly proud. “Why do
you
care?”

“I’ll always care. Just in a different way.
Don’t stay with him, Kerrie. Talk to Rachel. She’ll help you figure
this out.”

“Will you do one thing for me, Sean? One tiny
little thing?”

“Sure, anything. I mean,” he added hastily,
“anything but sex.”

“Why?” Her eyes were damp again. “Please,
Sean? One last time? You said I was the best. And you’re the best
I’ll
ever have. Don’t we owe this to each other? And who
knows?” she asked seductively. “Maybe I can change your mind.”

And
that, he told himself grimly,
is why there’s no such thing as breakup sex.

Edging toward the door, he murmured, “I’ve
gotta go. So just call Rachel. She loves you like a sister. A
real
sister. She’ll help you through this.”

Her eyes grew cold. “I hate you, Sean
Decker.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. But I could never
hate
you,
and that’s the truth. You’re the sweetest, most
generous person I ever met. And”—he forced himself to add, even
though it sounded bat-shit crazy—“you’re
definitely
a better
lay than your sister.”

• • •

He had left his rental car in underground
parking, but took the elevator to the roof, knowing he could best
sort his feelings there. When he stepped into the cool sunshine and
saw the Bay Bridge, the bay itself, and the world at his feet, he
exhaled in relief.

He was actually free. Breathing real air.
Lots and lots of air. And while he would always regret what he put
Kerrie through, he was encouraged by her response. Angry, not
broken. Glaring, not sobbing.

In a bizarre way, he owed that to Melody. It
never would have occurred to him to call a girlfriend a great lay
or to even
think
of one so crudely. But these twins had a
lot in common, thanks to their sick upbringing and freakish
rivalry. And top of the list? Which one was better in bed despite
the identical nature of their vaginas.

Bat-shit crazy.

The air up here was crisp, all the better to
replenish the lungs of a guy who had been suffocating for weeks.
Months. So he drank it in, then remembered his responsibilities,
pulled out his phone, and called Rachel Gillette. He had dated her
briefly once upon a time, during which they had forged a
world-class friendship while she fell in love with his friend Bam
Bannerman.

She was also Kerrie’s best friend.

And luckily, one of the nicest and most
perceptive people in the world. Not to mention, the most beautiful
girl Sean had ever laid eyes on.

She answered with a soft “Sean?”

“Hey, babe,” he murmured. “Is this a bad
time?”

“For you? Never. How was the college camp?
Vince wanted to be there, but . . .”

“Yeah, we know. He was too busy getting busy.
With
you.”

She laughed ruefully. “You guys are so
classy. So? What’s up?”

“I just broke up with Kerrie. Sorry, honey,
but I couldn’t take it anymore.”

He expected her to be shocked. Maybe even
angry. But she sounded relieved when she said, “Wow. That’s just
such—well, good news, I guess. For you, obviously. And eventually
for her too. But it must have been horrible. For
both
of
you.”

His heart swelled. “Thanks, Rachel. Because
yeah, I didn’t want to hurt her. But she took it pretty well.
Almost like . . .”

“She knew, Sean. You’ve been trying for
weeks, haven’t you? And I’ve done what I could to prepare her. You
two were a mismatch from the start. I wish I never encouraged it,
but . . .”

“Don’t do that,” he told her firmly. “You
were an amazing friend to both of us when it counted. But now? I’ve
got Erica, and John, and Bam. And my family. But Kerrie only has
one person in the whole world. And that’s you. I feel like crap
dumping it on you—”

“I’ve seen it coming, so don’t worry. She’ll
be a basket case for a few weeks, but she’s stronger than she
seems. I’m just glad you got out. We’ve been so worried about
you.”

“Well, don’t worry anymore. I’m feeling—well,
like I can breathe again.”

“Oh, Sean.” Rachel’s voice resounded with
happiness. “I can’t wait to tell Vince. If that’s okay.”

“Yeah, he’s been taking it harder than
anyone. Even
me,”
Sean said with a laugh. “But I want to
tell John and Erica myself, okay? So keep it to yourselves until I
get back to Portland.”

“You’re going to the ranch?” she guessed.
“That’s
perfect,
Sean. Just what you need. Speaking of which
. . .”

He felt a stab of affection, knowing the
beautiful schoolteacher didn’t want to butt in, but since she was
always the smartest person in the room, or in this case on the
roof, she probably had some stellar advice. “Say it, babe.”

“Don’t hate me, but I’m so
thrilled
you’ve gotten out of this quicksand. So don’t dive back in.
Promise? You know how you are. I love you, but it’s one girl after
another. And it hasn’t worked. So how about some Sean time? Figure
out what you’ve been doing wrong. Take a break. And then maybe you
can do it right. Or not,” she added apologetically. “Who am I to
give relationship advice? If Vince hadn’t rescued me from my
own
quicksand, Lord knows where I’d be.”

Sean knew she was right. He wanted a real
relationship. The kind Johnny and Erica had. The kind even a loser
like Vince Bannerman had. But for some reason, Sean was clueless
how to accomplish it. And he definitely couldn’t go through
this
again. Better to be single than miserable.

Rachel must have felt his pain because she
told him lovingly, “She’s out there, Sean. But it could take a
while. So don’t be in such a rush. I know it’s tempting, but if it
doesn’t last, what’s the point?”

He wanted to thank her for telling him what
he already knew deep inside. But before he could find the words,
she said briskly, “I’d better call Kerrie. She must be so
upset.”

“And pissed. Which is good, right?”

“Definitely. I’ll take it from here. Some
relationships are meant to be. And some—sadly—are just doomed.”

As they ended the call, he thought about
that. Maybe she had a point. If a relationship was doomed, it could
take a while to figure it out. Like him and Kerrie.

But if it was meant to be? Cosmically
speaking? Wouldn’t a person know in an instant?

He had a feeling he knew the answer. But he
had been burned so often, he opted for the safest route and called
his agent, who predictably answered right away, booming, “Hey,
Sean! What can I do for you?”

“Can you get me a flight to the ranch? Out of
the Bay Area? No real hurry, but I’m packed and ready.”

“A flight for one? Or is Kerrie coming?”

Sean chuckled. Murf was the embodiment of
tact, but it had been evident for a while he didn’t approve of this
relationship. Not for moral reasons, but simply because the client
wasn’t happy.

And for Murf, a happy client was the
ultimate—and sometimes the
only
—goal.

“I just broke up with her. And I feel like
shit. So I figured I’d head home to regroup.”

Murf’s sympathetic tone was tinged with
relief. “Sorry to hear that, buddy. But she’ll find someone else.
And so will you. Hopefully not too soon.”

Sean grimaced. Apparently this was the theme
of the day. He had blown it with Kerrie, so he couldn’t be trusted
to choose someone else. Of course, his track record
was
spotty.

Luckily, he was so busy enjoying his freedom,
he wouldn’t dive back in even if the perfect woman was standing
right in front of him. Even if she seemed so freaking awesome—so
pretty, so breathless—he honestly had no doubt.

Murf seemed to catch his own gaffe. “Sorry,
bud. These last few months have been a bitch. But you dealt with
it. So enjoy the spoils. Ride horses, eat pancakes, and if you fall
in love with a flight attendant five minutes from now? Go for it.
We’ve got your back no matter what.”

• • •

Tess worked two long shifts at Zone D, then
drove back to Portland on Tuesday for lunch with Erica. They would
have fun. No doubt about that. The question was: would they get any
work done, article-wise? And on a lesser note, would the subject of
Sean Decker come up?

Tess had been wrestling that subject like an
alligator. Why had he come to the suite? Why spill his bonehead
secrets? Why kiss her?

And why did she kiss him back?

Hopefully these questions were lost to the
ages, while the questions on her list for this interview would
elicit pearls of wisdom.

When Erica waved to her from a corner table
of the Ashton Hotel restaurant, she couldn’t help but smile.
Because yes, Erica was an overachieving dynamo like Tess’s parents
and siblings, but she also knew how to relax. Or maybe Johnny
Spurling had taught her that. Of course,
he
was a dynamo
too, so maybe their kicker friend had taught them
both
to
kick back.