Playing Patience (8 page)

“See what you made me do?” he said angrily. Spittle flew from his mouth and landed on my burning cheek.

I’d never been more afraid of him and the fear on my face fueled him. I didn’t even see his back hand coming as he hit me again. This time I cried out loudly. I cussed myself for making the noise. The last thing I wanted was for my mom to hear me and become alarmed. I covered my mouth with my hand and waited for him to hit me again. My cheek felt swollen and hot, so hot I expected the single tear that slid down it to sizzle. He slid his thumb under my eye so hard it hurt as he tried to rub my thick eyeliner away.

“I can’t even look at you,” he hissed out.

And then I was moving as he slung me around so I stood in front of the kitchen table and faced away from him. He smacked me in the shoulder blades as he roughly pushed me over the table and pulled my left arm hard behind my back. My face hurt as he pressed it into the table. I had an idea of where this was going, but since he only ever touched me in my bedroom once everyone was asleep, I didn’t really know what to expect. I cried into my hand as he started to rip my pants down. My stomach dug into the side of the kitchen table and I thought for sure if he pushed down on me any harder he’d break my ribs.

Once my pants and panties were down, I pushed myself away into the place I went we he came into my room. The tears stopped and my eyes felt sticky and dry as I stared out the kitchen window into the backyard. The pool looked extra bright and the stars seemed to reach forever. I closed my eyes and wished I was one of those stars—far away, burning in the night sky where no one could reach me.

In the distance, I could hear the table shaking and skidding across the expensive tile floor. A candle holder fell over and cracked in front of my eyes. The arm that he held behind my back got pulled harder and I thought for sure he’d pull it off of my shoulder, but I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel any pain anymore. Instead, my hand slowly fell from my mouth and I lay there still and silent while I prayed I was dead. If it weren’t for Sydney and my mom, I’d welcome death with a smile, but as long as they were here, I’d be here.

My short-term memory had been altered. As I stood under the blazing, hot shower water I couldn’t remember how I got there. I couldn’t remember the moment he left me or the trip up the stairs to the bathroom, and that scared me. I’d always known I was broken, but it was obvious he was smashing the small pieces of me into even smaller fragments. Soon, I’d be dust in the wind. Maybe then I could float away and stay in my happy place.

After my shower, I stared in the mirror at my cheek. The bruising was getting worse by the minute and I knew I’d have to come up with a damn good excuse for Mom and Syd. My cell phone was going nuts since Megan had no idea where I was. Finally, I texted her back and told her I was fine and that I was going to bed.

When I slipped under the covers, my entire body hurt. I couldn’t sleep, so I lay there and stared up at the ceiling. I thanked God Sydney was at a friend’s house and my mother would never know what was happening under her roof. If I could just make it a few more years, then I’d never have to see his face again if I didn’t want to… just a few more years. I’d already lived through this for almost ten. What’s a few more?

I watched as the dark ceiling became gray, then finally bright orange as the morning sun peeked into my room. My eyes felt as if I hadn’t blinked the entire night and I was almost positive I hadn’t. My body felt stiff and my ribs ached. The injured side of my face felt bigger than the other and I was dreading looking in the mirror and seeing what I had to deal with Monday at school. I hoped it wasn’t very bad and if it was, I hoped the two days I had before going back to school was enough for it to heal.

As soon as I got up and got dressed, I called Megan to come and get me. No matter how badly I wanted to be out of this house, I couldn’t bring myself to drive that gray Toyota in the garage.

“I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” Megan said through the phone. We decided to catch a movie, grab some lunch, and catch up on some much-needed shopping.

I spent ten minutes trying to powder away the ugly, swollen bruise on my cheek, and then I peeked in and checked on my mom. The room was dark and she was asleep. I watched her stomach move up and down as she breathed deep. As long as her stomach was moving then she was still with us. Afraid that I’d wake her, I softly closed the door then went downstairs to wait on the front porch for Megan.

“What the hell happened to your face?” she asked with big eyes when I got into her car. “Oh my God, did that happen last night? I was freaking out when I saw you handcuffed. Did your dad freak out on you?” We jerked down the road and worked our way to the movie theater.

I jumped all over her first question. I didn’t even think to say it had happened at The Pit the night before.

“Yeah, some bitch stepped on me and I hit my face on the concrete floor. It looks awful, I know. It hurts like a bitch, too. I still can’t believe I got arrested.” I looked out the window. “I told you going back there was a bad idea. My dad was so pissed.” I quickly changed the subject. “What happened with you?”

“Chet pulled me out.” She tried not to smile. “I ended up going back to Finn’s garage with them. They said Zeke got arrested, too. Did you see him?”

We pulled into the theater parking lot and she slammed her parking brake into place.

“Yeah, I saw him.” And I left it at that.

There was no need to go any deeper into that situation.

I was still pissed off about him baiting my dad. Part of me wanted to blame him for my painful table ride, but I knew I couldn’t do that. He had no idea how sick my father was. He had no way of knowing that by pushing my dad’s buttons he was typing in the combination to release a night of terror on me. I was almost positive, had he known what he was setting me up for, he wouldn’t have said those things. Zeke wasn’t a nice guy, but he was a good guy. Only a good guy would rush a strange girl to the hospital and only a good guy would save me from being trampled to death by a herd of Pit People.

I barely paid attention during the movie. My mind kept going back to Zeke. I kept wondering if he got out of jail. I hoped he didn’t get into too much trouble. If he did, he had no one to blame but himself for carrying drugs around, but still, I did kind of tell on him. Even if I was trying to help, in the end I just made things worse for him. The poor guy had only been trying to help me and I thanked him by getting him drug charges. I hated the idea of him sitting in jail while I was free to go to a movie all because of who my dad was.

At school on Monday, I found out that Zeke was released from jail. Megan and Chet had graduated to texting and I’d dropped a little bird in her ear to find out if he was okay. Apparently, he had to pay a big fine and had two months of community service to get through. Maybe I’d find out what kind of service he had to do and volunteer since, technically, I should have community service too.

After school, I went to the Clerk of Court and paid his fine out of my savings account. It was the least I could do and I’d seen Zeke’s home. He probably didn’t have money for gas, much less almost five hundred dollars to pay a fine.

I ended up getting to soccer practice late, which earned me ten laps around the field. I didn’t mind it. I used that time to zone out and go to my happy place. It seemed I was living in that imaginary world more than the real world these days.

After my laps, I practiced hard and then jogged home from practice. I wanted to be so exhausted that I couldn’t stand up straight when I got home.

Once I walked in the door I was bombarded by Sydney.

“What happened to your face?” she asked with wide eyes.

I rubbed my cheek. I’d heard that question so many times that day and different people got different answers. I was becoming the queen of lies.

“Oh, it happened at practice last Friday. I didn’t see you before you left to go to your friend’s house for the weekend. No worries, Syd. It’s healing nicely. So, what did you guys do this weekend? Lots of prank calls and junk food?” I asked as I scooted by her and went into the kitchen for something to drink.

My cheek forgotten, she started talking about all the fun stuff she and her friend Ashley had gotten into over the weekend. I loved hearing about her having a good time. I was happy to know my sister was growing up with happy childhood memories.

“And then her dad took us to that ice cream place down the road and we got sundaes. Hey, did you know Ashley’s brother goes to school with you? His name’s Jacob and he’s super cute. Maybe you guys could go on a date or something?” She poked my side and I jerked. She thought she was tickling me, but really my ribs were still sore.

“I don’t think I know anyone named Jacob, but I’m way too busy to date right now, Syd. Maybe once I graduate.” I tugged a strand of her hair as I walked by and went upstairs for a shower.

Once I was settled in for bed, my phone went off with a text message from Megan.

Megan: FYI Zeke’s serving his community service at that Boy’s Club place on North Rhett Avenue.

Me: OK. Why are you telling me this?

Megan: OMG don’t even act like you’re not into him.

Me: I’m not.

Megan: Whatever. I’m not buying it. You should volunteer. Just saying.

Me: Maybe I will.

Megan: Good. OK, see you in the AM, Zeke Lover.

Me: OMG whatever! Goodnight, slut puppy. LOL

Megan: Hey, I kind of like the sound of that. LOL Goodnight!

The next day after soccer practice, I had Megan take me to the Boy’s Club so I could volunteer. The Boy’s Club was a place for young, troubled boys to go after school. It would be hard dealing with a bunch of badass young boys, but if Zeke had to do it, it was only fair I did too. I walked into a huge gymnasium full of boys running around with basketballs. The sound of squeaking rubber echoed off the walls and mixed with loud laughter and joking, making for a very loud space.

There were older boys and girls wearing bright-
blue T-shirts scattered throughout the room. On the backs of the shirts were either the words “Big Brother” or “Big Sister.” It was kind of cool they had a place for troubled kids to run to other than the streets.

A few boys caught my attention as they stared at me and snickered to themselves. A brave one stepped away from the group and came up to me. He was no more than thirteen with a dirty white shirt and holey sneakers.

“My friend over there thinks you look good,” he said with a big smile as he pointed to another boy in the group.

“Oh, well, tell your friend I said thank you,” I said as I started to turn and walk away.

I turned and face-planted right into Zeke’s chest. I pulled back and he peered down at me through dark bangs. He shifted his head to the side, throwing his bangs out of his face, and then he sighed.

“You again,” he said as he crossed his arms and bit down on his lip ring. “Guess that means I’m going to jail today.”

I suddenly got a big case of nerves. “Why would you go to jail?” I fiddled with my hair.

“Every time I see you I end up behind bars. What happened to your face?” he blurted out.

I laughed like it was nothing, and then I threw out one of the lies I’d been spinning.

“It was a stupid soccer ball to the face yesterday at practice.”

He didn’t believe me. I could see it in his eyes.

“Why are you here? I mean, other than to flirt with underage boys.” The side of his mouth tilted up.

“I wasn’t flirting with underage boys and I’m here to volunteer. It’s only fair since we were both arrested.” I began to fidget.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked. He moved in closer and towered over me. Leaning in, he got in my ear and whispered, “Does your daddy know you’re stalking me, snowflake?”

He was too close. I didn’t like it when guys got too close
,
and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I stepped back like he’d burned me.

“My. Name. Is. Patience!” I said too loudly.

My voice bounced off the walls and echoed throughout the gym. Everyone around us stopped and looked at me like I was crazy. Embarrassment set in and I felt my entire body turn red. My cheeks were on fire and I wanted to shrivel up and disappear.

Above me, Zeke let out a throaty chuckle.

“Careful,
snowflake
, if your face gets too hot, you might melt.”

Seven

Zeke

Spending my afternoons hanging out with a bunch of badass brats didn’t sound very appealing, but once the judge threw down his gravel there wasn’t shit I could say. It was better than thirty days in jail. So after zoning out in class all day Tuesday, I hopped in my car and headed for the Boy’s Club to clock in.

I was assaulted by the smell of old gym shoes as soon as I walked into the gym full of young boys. Every noise in the room echoed and made my headache ten times worse. I was approached by a young woman with bouncy black hair and she smiled up at me innocently.

“Are you Zeke?” she asked with a smile.

“That’s me,” I said with less exuberance.

“Great! You’re early.” She beamed. “My name’s Lindy! Let’s get you in a Big Brother shirt and I’ll show you to your group.”

The idea of changing my clothes sucked, but again, judge’s orders are judge’s orders.

I followed her through the gym to a little office tucked into the corner. I told her my size, then sat as she went to the back to find a shirt for me. I peeked out of the little window into the gym and watched as the kids played without a care. It was actually kind of nice to have a place for troubled kids to go. I wish I’d had a place like that when I was growing up. Maybe I could’ve been saved. Maybe I wouldn’t be so fucked up.

The sun peeked into the gym as the front door opened and a girl surrounded by a sunny halo entered. Once the door closed, the bright light surrounding her disappeared and I could see it was none other than Patience, my little icy bad luck charm. I sighed out loud.

Why couldn’t I get away from this girl? She was everywhere I was and it seemed like every time I saw her, something bad happened to me. I was starting to think she was a gift from the devil himself. She was a pretty box of temptation wrapped in a force field of police officers waiting to arrest me, or a box of sweets with a big-ass invisible mousetrap sitting on the cover.