Playing with Fire (Skulduggery Pleasant, Book 2) (6 page)

UNWELCOME VISITORS

THE HIBERNIAN Cinema stood like an old man, stoop-shouldered and gray-faced, squeezed in on either side by taller, broader, and healthier buildings. Its facade was a decaying remnant of a forgotten time, and most of the vowels were missing from its name. Fifty years ago, this cinema had thrived, its Dublin audiences flocking to it every weekend. Skulduggery himself had first visited the Hibernian to see
High Society,
and he'd had a crush on Grace Kelly ever since.

He parked the Bentley in the lane at the back, and Valkyrie followed him in. The carpeted surroundings

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absorbed their footfalls. They passed framed posters for obscure movies starring dead actors. No paying customer had been in this building for decades.

The cinema was quiet, as usual, and empty. They walked down the steps between the rows of seats. The screen had a heavy red curtain in front of it, musty with age. As they approached, the curtain parted and the screen lit up, showing an old black-and-white film of a brick wall and an open door. The soundtrack was of a city at night. Valkyrie followed Skulduggery up onto the small stage, and they walked to the door, their shadows falling onto the image. Then they walked through the screen.

They took the stairs that lay on the other side, and gradually the artificial light swept the gloom away. They reached the top floor, where all signs of the old cinema had been replaced by gleaming corridors and laboratories. The owner of the Hibernian had spent a lot of time renovating the building, developing it into the magic-science facility he'd always dreamed about. Because of the delicate nature of the work done in all the various sections-- the medical bay, the brand-new morgue, the Theoretical Magic (R&D) Department-- there

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were no windows, and the temperature was carefully controlled. Although he had the run of the entire building-- shared only with his two assistants-- the owner still chose to work in the smallest, darkest laboratory, and that was where they found him.

Kenspeckle Grouse looked around when Skulduggery said his name.

"You again," he said in a voice that was not overflowing with warmth and hospitality. "What do you want?"

Kenspeckle was a small, elderly man with a mass of white hair and very little patience.

"We have something for you," Skulduggery said, showing him the syringe that had fallen from Dusk's pocket. "We were wondering if you'd have time to analyze it."

"Oh, as if I'm not kept busy enough as it is," Kenspeckle said gruffly. "Valkyrie, I haven't seen you in weeks. Staying out of trouble?"

"Not really," Valkyrie admitted.

"Nor did I expect you to," he said with an exasperated sigh. For all his crotchety behavior and ill manners, the elderly scientist seemed to have a soft spot for Valkyrie. "So what has he

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dragged you into this time?"

"I haven't dragged her into anything," Skulduggery said defensively.

Valkyrie smiled. "Fights, kidnap attempts, more fights. Business as usual, you know how it is."

Skulduggery's phone rang, and he stepped away to answer it.

Now that Skulduggery was out of earshot, Kenspeckle let his voice soften in tone. "How is the shoulder from last month?"

"Much better," she answered. "I was barely left with a bruise."

Kenspeckle nodded. "I used a new mixture. The ingredients are a little harder to find, but for my favorite patients I like to make sure the healing process is as painless as possible."

"I'm on that list?" Valkyrie asked, her smile growing wider.

Kenspeckle snorted. "You
are
the list."

Valkyrie laughed.

"Your partner certainly isn't," Kenspeckle continued, returning his attention to Skulduggery as his phone call ended. "Let me see that syringe."

Skulduggery handed it over.

"Where did you get it?"

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"It fell out of a vampire's pocket."

Kenspeckle held the syringe up to the light, examining the liquid within. "Fascinating creatures, vampires. Two completely separate layers of epidermis, the upper layer of which regenerates when the sun comes up. Human by day, gifted with slightly enhanced speed and strength, but essentially mortal. But at night..."

Valkyrie nodded. "I know what they're like at night."

"Hmm? Oh that's right. You have firsthand knowledge, don't you? How did you get that, I wonder? Oh, yes." He glared at Skulduggery. "Someone with absolutely no sense of responsibility dragged you in front of a
vampire
and almost got you killed."

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Are you talking about me?" he asked innocently.

Kenspeckle scowled, and went back to examining the syringe. "I've seen this before," he said, "but only once. It's a rare concoction of hemlock and wolfsbane. It would be used by a vampire to suppress his bestial nature at night."

"Makes sense," Skulduggery murmured. "Dusk is of no use to Vengeous if he loses control every

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time the sun goes down."

Kenspeckle loosened his tie and undid his top shirt button. "I had a run-in with a vampire in my youth, and I barely escaped with my life. That's why I carry this with me, everywhere I go."

He showed them a glass vial that hung around his neck.

"Is that holy water?" Valkyrie asked, a little doubtfully.

"Holy water? No no
no,
Valkyrie. It's
seawater."

"Right," she said, slowly.

"Holy water doesn't work," Kenspeckle explained, "and stakes through the heart won't kill them. Decapitation
is
effective, but then, decapitation is effective against most things. The one vampire legend that
does
have merit, however, is running water."

Valkyrie frowned. "Okay, and that seems to be the one legend I've never heard of."

Skulduggery spoke up. "There's an old myth that vampires can't pass over running water, so they couldn't cross a bridge that spans a river, for instance. Now, while crossing bridges doesn't faze them in the slightest, the truth of the myth stems from salt water."

"Vampires have an extreme allergic reaction to

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the stuff," Kenspeckle said. "If ingested, it would swell a vampire's throat, blocking its air passage. Which is why I carry some with me at all times."

"But-- wouldn't they have to swallow it?" Valkyrie asked.

"Well, yes..."

"And how would you get a vampire to swallow the water before it killed you?"

Kenspeckle blinked and didn't say anything.

"Never mind," Valkyrie said quickly. "I'm sure, you know, you'd find a way. Like, you could throw the water into its mouth when it's, uh, about to bite you."

Kenspeckle's shoulders slumped, and Valkyrie felt incredibly guilty that she had poked a hole in his plan.

"Leave me," he said, a little mournfully.

"I'm sorry . . .," Valkyrie began, but he held up his hand.

"No need to apologize. I am a
medical
genius, a
scientific
genius, but obviously not a tactical genius. And to think, for the last hundred and eighty years I was unafraid of vampires because I had a vial of salt water tied around my neck. What an idiot."

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Kenspeckle shuffled off, and Skulduggery patted Valkyrie on the shoulder.

"Congratulations," he said. "You've just reinstated a three-hundred-year-old neurosis. Our work here is done."

Feeling absolutely terrible, Valkyrie followed him back the way they had come. They passed the two assistants in white lab coats, Stentor and Civet, wrestling in an empty room. Valkyrie had been here more times than she could count, and sights like this were not uncommon. The assistants waved, then got back to wrestling.

Valkyrie was the first one down the stairs, and she walked to the back of the screen and stepped through. She jumped from the stage, turned, and waited for Skulduggery. She watched him pass through the image of the door, and a moment later the film flickered, the screen went blank, and the gloom closed in. He left the stage, and the curtains began to drift together behind him.

"Who was that on the phone?" she asked, trying to forget about what she had done to Kenspeckle.

"The Grand Mage," Skulduggery said, "checking in on us once again. His eagerness to recover

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the Baron is making him quite . . . irritable."

"He's always irritable."

"Obviously, he's decided to take it to new heights."

"I wish Meritorious was still alive. He was a good Grand Mage. Guild is. . . He's like a politician, like he's got people to please."

They left the cinema and walked into the bright sunshine, and Skulduggery didn't say anything until they got to the Bentley.

"We're supposed to meet Tanith at the library, so I'm going to drop you off there and meet up with you later; is that okay with you?"

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere special. I just have some ... things to do."

"Why did you pause?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You paused. You have 'some . . . things to do.' Why did you pause?"

"No reason, I just-- "

"You're up to something."

"No-- "

"Then why'd you pause?"

"Get in the car."

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She got in. He got in.

"Seat belt," he said.

"Why'd you pause?"

His head drooped. "Because I'm up to something."

"And why can't I come with you?"

"Because it's something sneaky."

"Do you promise to tell me later?"

"I do."

"Well all right then." She clicked her seat belt into place. "Let's go."

Valkyrie went into the tenement building and climbed the stairs, passing a man who didn't have a shadow. She got to the third floor just as China Sorrows crossed from the library to her apartment.

"Valkyrie," China said. "How nice to see you again so soon." The skirt she wore was a light green, and the jacket was of a green deeper than a thousand crushed emeralds. Her necklace was exquisite.

"That's beautiful," Valkyrie said, looking at it.

"Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with

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this skirt. Would you like to come in?"

"Sure," Valkyrie said, and followed China inside. She closed the door after her. She would never have admitted this, but Valkyrie adored China's apartment. The carpet was lush and intricate, the decor was elegant and restrained, and it looked out over Dublin in such a way that the city seemed prettier and more romantic than it had ever been.

"Any new developments?" China asked, picking up a stack of letters and riffling through them.

"Not especially. I was attacked earlier, though."

"Oh?"

"By a vampire and his minions."

"Can't stand those things," China said. "Once they bite, the Infected person has two nights of mindless slavery to endure, and if they're not treated, they become full vampires. Such a horrible condition. Did you happen to catch his name?"

"Dusk."

"Yes, I know Dusk. He has a habit of holding grudges. I had an associate who crossed him. It took years, but Dusk finally managed to track

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him down, and the death he provided was not a quick one. There was a lot of blood and screaming and . . ."

She caught herself, and smiled. "I apologize. I must confess to being in a very bad mood of late. Because of this Grotesquery business, everything I've worked so hard for-- my library, my collections, my influence-- all of it could be wiped out in the blink of an indifferent eye."

"Along with the rest of the world," Valkyrie reminded her.

"Yes. That would be unfortunate also." China put the letters down. "Have you seen him yet? The Baron?"

"No. Not yet."

China sat on the luxurious yet tasteful sofa. "An unusual man. He likes to think of himself as straightforward. He is anything but. He shares the same elitist attitude as Nefarian Serpine, but where Serpine was independent and self-serving, the Baron carried out his duties with a selflessness, and a blind and unwavering faith. What Serpine began, Vengeous seeks to finish. To him, the return of the Faceless Ones is the only thing that has ever truly mattered."

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"Sounds like you know him well."

"Oh, I do. Didn't Skulduggery tell you? I, too, used to worship the Faceless Ones."

Valkyrie felt her face drain. "What?"

China smiled. "Obviously, he didn't tell you. Bliss and I were raised in a family that worshipped the dark gods. My brother rejected our family's teachings at an early age, but it took me some . . . time to do the same. While I worshipped, however, I joined a small group of like-minded individuals, of which the Baron was one. Remember when I told you that there is nothing more dangerous than a zealot? We were dangerous even by a zealot's standards."

"I ... I didn't know that."

China shrugged. "I was young, and foolish, and arrogant. I've changed. I'm not foolish anymore."

China laughed. Valkyrie forced a smile.

"And now," China continued, "you're wondering, once again, if I can be trusted. After all, when Skulduggery first told you about me, what did he say?"

"He ... he said not to trust you."

"Because I am not worthy of it, Valkyrie. I will endanger those close to me for my own advantage.