Playing with Temptation (28 page)

Worst of all, he knew her insecurities and fears weren’t unfounded. They were based in reality, in the truth of other people’s actions toward her. Starting with her own father and trickling down from there. Well, he was going to be the man who was going to end that cycle of pain, no matter how long it took him to convince her that he wasn’t going anywhere.

He let go of her hand and placed his own back on the counter beside her, making sure there was no easy escape for Raina while he put all his emotional cards out on the table.

“Whenever I look at you, I know you’re the one,” he said, meaning every word. “From the first moment I saw you dancing up in that gold cage in The Players Club, I
knew
. And now, whenever I touch you or kiss you or slide deep inside of your body, I know that you were meant to be mine.”

Her eyes shone with disbelief, and she shook her head in denial. “That was lust.”

“Part of it, yes, but not all of it,” he said, leaning in a bit closer. “That night at the club, you ran, and I chased you, and I’ve never,
ever
chased after another woman before. I never felt that kind of loss as I did that night when you drove away, thinking I’d never see you again.”

He saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes, a shimmer of hope, which she valiantly tried to blink away.

“Throw me any argument you want, sugar, and I’m still not letting you go.” She looked away from him, which he wasn’t going to allow. He reached a hand up and slid his fingers along her jaw and used his thumb to tip her head back up until her gaze met his again. “Because what I do know is that you want me, too, but you’re too scared to trust me. I get that, and I’m willing to be patient and wait until you catch up to me and realize that I’m always going to be here for you.”

More doubts swam in her beautiful blue eyes. “You can’t make those kinds of promises.”

“Yes, I can,” he said confidently. “And best of all, I
keep
my promises.”

She sucked in a breath, clearly so afraid to believe.

“Whatever those doubts and fears are, I’m going to spend as long as it takes to disprove every single one. You’re worth fighting for, Raina Beck. You’re beautiful and smart and independent. You make me laugh and feel things I thought were dead long ago. Without a doubt, you are my future, my forever. Believe it, because it’s true.”

Her entire body shuddered. “You should go. You have a plane to catch.”

“Yes, I do,” he agreed, knowing she needed time and space to process everything and to hopefully realize what he already knew. “I’m leaving because I have to, not because I want to. If I had the choice, I’d take you back to bed and keep you there until you believed every single word I’ve said to you. Until you accepted that you and I belong together.”

He let his hand drop from her face and took a step back, which was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. “I’m going to go, but I’m coming back, because you and I aren’t done. Not even close.”

G
irls’ night out,
otherwise known as Cocktails and Cocks, was usually one of Raina’s favorite evenings to spend with her girlfriends. Tonight, more than ever, she needed that girl time and the distraction. Stephanie, tonight’s hostess, had made fresh pear martinis, and each of the other women had brought their favorite appetizers to share. Men, sex, and general gossip were always on the agenda. And usually, lots of laughter.

Between her and Paige’s more somber mood, courtesy of
men
, the latter part of the night’s festivities was sorely lacking. Jillian, Stephanie, Kendall, and Summer were trying to liven up the atmosphere with entertaining stories of clients they’d had during the week at their shops. And while Stephanie’s tale about a gay couple who wanted to commission her to decorate an Arabian Nights themed bedroom for them had been funny and amusing, Raina’s mind kept drifting, her thoughts consumed with everything that had transpired between her and Logan over the past week since meeting him at The Players Club.

She felt as though it had been much longer than that.

It had been two days since Logan had walked out of her apartment, and she’d spent every moment since thinking about everything he’d said to her. The pain of watching him leave had felt as though she’d cut her own heart out with a serrated blade, it hurt so bad¸ not to mention the constant wondering if she’d done the right thing by ending
them
. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

While he’d been gone, he’d sent her random texts, as if to remind her of all the promises he’d made that morning before he’d left for Chicago
. I miss you. I want you, always. You own me. You’re mine.
And then today, at the store, a sleek pink box with a big ribbon on it had arrived for her, along with a note from Logan:
To replace all the ones I’ve taken and all the ones I plan to add to my collection.

The message had been confusing until she’d opened the box, peeled away the layer of pink embossed tissue, and discovered two dozen pairs of panties folded inside in an array of color, and a few with prints. There was pretty lace and satin and silk. Fun and cute pairs with sexy sayings on them. Others with bows or other embellishments and appliqués. Delicate, elegant G-strings with rhinestones and pearls. And even a few naughty crotch-less ones.

His gift had made her laugh. Then the tears she’d been holding back for two days had finally burst through the emotional levee she’d erected when he’d walked out her door, and out came all the fears and insecurities she’d been carrying with her for so many years. She’d been a hot mess by the time the crying had subsided, but one question kept slipping into her mind and demanded an answer.

When had a man fought as hard for her as Logan was doing?

Never.

That realization forced her to accept that Logan
was
different. Had been from the start. He’d barged his way into her life, held on, and he hadn’t let her go. He’d been there through every moment of terror her stalker had inflicted and not only because he was being paid. Somehow she knew Logan would have protected her regardless of his job. At every turn, he’d proven himself to be beyond any man in her past and any she might have dreamed of for her future. And he hadn’t let his sister’s negative feelings drive him away, either.

Why had it taken her so long to believe in him?

“I’m going to get a glass of water,” Paige said quietly, bringing Raina’s attention back to the present. “Does anyone want anything?”

A round of “no thank you” and “I’m good” came from the other women.

“I’ll come with you,” Raina said, needing a break from the gossip, and followed Paige into the kitchen. Despite her own problems with Logan, Raina was concerned about her friend, who hadn’t been the same since her run-in with Sawyer at the shop a few days ago.

Paige retrieved a glass from the cupboard, then poured herself a cold glass of filtered water from the sink’s tap. She leaned back against the counter and took a sip, the look in her eyes troubled.

“Hey, you okay?” Raina asked as she settled in beside her.

Paige shrugged. “I honestly don’t know how I am,” she said, staring into the glass of clear liquid.

Raina waited a few moments before broaching the sensitive topic of her past. “Are you still thinking about Sawyer?”

Paige’s lips pursed, and she turned her gaze to Raina, a combination of pain and anger swirling in the depths of her green eyes. “How can I hate him so much after what he did to me but still
want
him?” she asked, sounding horrified at that prospect. “When I saw him walk into Sugar and Spice, I was just so taken off guard. I didn’t know he was back in town, and all those awful, gut-wrenching memories came rushing back. But beneath all that hurt, I still felt that same pull of desire toward him. How wrong and sick is that?” She laughed dryly and shook her head.

“You fell hard for him,” Raina said sympathetically. “And you haven’t dated since he left a year and a half ago. And he was the last guy that you were wildly attracted to, so I’m sure that’s part of your reaction to seeing him again, as well.”

“Fuck Sawyer for being so hot and sexy and knowing his way around a woman’s body like an experienced gigolo,” Paige said, a bit of humor slipping through her melancholy. “I need to get over him already.”

Raina grinned at her friend’s audacious comment. “Yes, you do. There are other hot and sexy guys out there who are more than capable of being good in bed.”

Paige lifted her chin with a bit of determination. “Yes, there are. Maybe I just need to find a guy to get totally freaky with, so I can forget about Sawyer.”

Raina laughed. “Sounds like a great plan.”

Paige grew serious again. “What about you and Logan? Are you going to give the guy a chance?”

Her friend knew most of what had happened between her and Logan, as well as all the reasons Raina had issues trusting men. And even Paige had been insisting that Logan was one of the few good guys out there, and Raina would be crazy to let him go.

“I haven’t spoken to him since he left, but I’ve doing a lot of thinking about the things he told me before he had to go to Chicago.” Being alone, especially at night, with only the thoughts in her head to occupy all the quiet time, had allowed her to think about her relationship with Logan with her heart, instead of the fears that had ruled her life for so long.

“And?” Paige prompted curiously.

“For years I believed that I wasn’t good enough for any man to want me beyond a physical fling, and it was so much easier to indulge in temporary affairs, instead of being hurt again,” Raina said softly. “But with Logan, everything is different. And with him gone, I feel like I’ve lost the best thing to ever happen to me, and I’ve never felt that way before. Ever. I feel…so empty inside, and it hurts so much, but this time I know it doesn’t have to be that way.”

Logan’s heartfelt words floated through her mind,
You’re worth fighting for, Raina Beck. Without a doubt, you are my future, my forever. Believe it, because it’s true
.

Paige lifted a brow. “Sounds like maybe someone is, or has, fallen in love.”

Raina’s heart beat faster at the truth of her friend’s words, and she didn’t even bother trying to deny it. Instead, she let the wonderful but scary feeling settle in, to give herself time to embrace everything the emotion meant to her future. Happiness. Contentment. And belonging to someone who’d made it very clear that he wanted her in his life. That he was willing to fight for her, despite every reason she’d given him not to.

Logan wasn’t asking her to give up anything, and he’d never made demands or tried to change anything about who she was. He’d been nothing but supportive of her business—hell, he’d even sold products to customers in her store, she thought with a private grin. She’d never felt so cared for and protected, so desired and secure. He made her want all those things she’d never thought she’d ever have in her life, and most of all, he gave her every reason to believe he’d give her anything and everything she’d dreamed of.

When she was with Logan, she was so incredibly happy, and dammit, she
deserved
that kind of joy in her life.

“You look so serious,” Paige said, tipping her head to the side as Raina met her gaze. “What are you thinking?”

Raina smiled, the first real one in days. “I’m thinking I’m ready to let go of my fears and ready to let Logan in.”

*     *     *

The brief, spontaneous
texts from Logan continued throughout Saturday while Raina was working at Sugar and Spice, and she was grateful that none of his short messages required any kind of reply from her. The next time she said anything to him, she needed it to be in person, face-to-face. She knew taking that first step toward Logan was going to be the most difficult—she was both excited and nervous about her decision—and he needed to see and know how much he meant to her.

While Aaron and another part-time worker covered the floor, Raina spent time in her office making out the schedule for the next two weeks and inputting payroll into the computer. A quick knock on her open door made her glance up to find Aaron’s big, muscular frame standing at the entrance.

“Raina, there’s a customer out front by the register who is asking to see you,” he said, hooking his thumb in that direction.

“Okay,” she said, giving him a smile. “Let them know I’ll be right there.”

“You got it.” He nodded, then headed back out to the main floor.

Raina shut down her computer and locked her office before making her way up to the front register. It wasn’t uncommon for customers to ask for her specifically, but her steps faltered and her stomach twisted with unease when she saw who was waiting for her.

Logan’s sister, Emily. And she looked about as uncomfortable as a nun in a brothel. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her wide eyes were checking out the different sections of the boutique, and she shifted anxiously on her feet. She’d only made it as far as the front counter, as if there were an invisible line she refused to cross into the actual store.