Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain (29 page)

I clapped my hands! “Oh, that’s nice. I like that a lot, Reviled. I want more fools bowing before me.” Turning, I raised my voice as loud as I could again and shouted, “Well? I know there are children of superheroes here! I know some of you have powers! Who is brave enough to face us? Who will kneel next before The Inscrutable Machine?”

The crowd, so busy a moment ago trying to spread out into the yard and see what was going on, froze. I waited. Nothing. I gave my head a slow, dramatic roll. “Fine, fine! If no one is going to make this interesting, we’ll take our prize and be done.” I stomped my foot twice on top of The Machine and ordered it, “Find me jade in that building.” Jade would be perfect. There’d be a teacher’s earring maybe, something we could claim was important and then ride off in triumph. It shouldn’t take too long. It had better not take too long. A superhero would be here any minute.

The Machine shook underneath me, then shook again, and again. I kept my balance without looking like it was hard, but thank Tesla my jumpsuit had a visor hiding my face because I knew I was gaping in shock. Why? Because the Machine hocked one, two, three, four, five, six basketball sized copies of itself out of its mouth, which went scuttling through the crowd to climb the walls of the school. One took the simpler route of breaking open a window, and a second followed it through that gap.

I guess I still didn’t know everything The Machine could do. Hoo boy.

Then a loud pop echoed over the yard, and I swear I heard the bullet go past my head.

My heart started up again. A security guard stood at one of the doors into Hailo Senior Junior High. I must have been imagining the bullet. I must have. He had his gun pointed at one of my mini-Machines climbing up along the second floor wall.

I gave The Machine a nudge with my foot. As it crawled forward, I announced, “Buddy, you are so lucky you missed.”

He swung around and pointed the gun at me. “Call off the robots and lay down your weapons.” He was pretty old and he looked panicky, but he didn’t look feeble.

The kids were watching. If we lost control of this, I didn’t know what would happen. Plus, I was a supervillain! I couldn’t be intimidated by a guy with a gun. To make the point, I sat down on the rubber seat, laid my cannon across my lap, and answered with as much dry snark as I could put into a reply that loud. “You don’t want to do that.”

“Stop where you are!”

I didn’t. He pulled the trigger again.

No imagination this time. The pop slammed into me, too loud to be silly. Had the bullet? Was I bleeding? He’d shot at a middle-schooler! He must have thought my jumpsuit was armor. It wasn’t. I didn’t have any defense against being shot by your average cop with a gun.

“Aren’t we getting a little carried away?” Claire asked, sliding around the crowd, skating up to the guard on her frictionless bear feet. Right up until he swiveled and pointed the pistol at her instead. Her impish grin, cocked up on one side, ought to melt any man on the spot.

He didn’t melt. “Put your hands up, little girl! I know you have super powers!” he warned her, shouting hoarsely. Why hadn’t he melted? It happened. I knew it happened, but this was a bad, bad time to run into someone naturally immune to Claire’s mind control.

She didn’t get it. As surprised as she looked, she opened her mouth to give him another teasing quip.

I pushed myself up off my feet, one foot reaching out. The world skipped as I teleported up next to the guard, so close my arm brushed his blue uniform shirt as I yanked up the air conditioning cannon. I jerked down on the levers, praying I didn’t blow his arm off, and pulled the trigger. He screamed, and the gun went flying, blasted out of his grip. As fast as I’d teleported in, I turned and took another step that left me standing on top of The Machine.

Standing. I sat down slowly. I had to look casual, disinterested. Not like I was breathing like a bellows and feeling wobbly from teleporting twice in as many seconds. Or shivering cold, because I hadn’t thought about guns until now. Even more than heroes, every supervillain, every one, was going to be shot at. Ray could outrun a car, then lift it, but one bullet would kill him dead. How could I have been so stupid?

And had I broken this poor innocent guy’s arm?

Now was not the time. Ray had not been idle. I looked up to see him take the guard’s arms and push him down as easily as he had the boy.

I lifted my gun arm and waved it airily. “He’s got no powers. I don’t care if he kneels, Reviled. He’s not interesting. Anyway, our work here is done.” How did I know? Because as Ray made the guy lie flat and placed a warning foot on his back, a mini-Machine crawled out of the window behind him. Two others scuttled back down the walls from the roof. One of them must have found me a trinket. Which one?

Oh. That one. The one that pushed open the cafeteria door and crawled out holding a chunk of jade the size of a basketball.

How? Why? This was a middle school! I’d expected a bracelet or something. I tried to cover. “Excellent. My sources were correct.” Like I’d known this thing was here.

The mini-Machine reached The Machine itself, crawling up a leg to offer me the chunk of jade. Not just a chunk, a statue, a curling and elegant oriental dragon. I took it in both hands. Heavy, but not too much to carry. It looked mystical. What were the odds of finding a magical artifact here?

The odds? Well, now that I asked, I’d just gone treasure hunting in LA, home of every cult, secret society, and unethical research project for the last 100 years. Oh, and I did it using experimental technology I didn’t understand.

Thunder boomed, the sound of bricks and shingles exploding out of the top of the school. A glittering green and gold dragon the size of a limousine leaped into the air. It screamed like a jaguar, rippled and snapped like a whip in mid-air, and plunged straight toward me—the girl holding the statue it had been guarding.

I dove. I saw the dragon’s mouth opening, the bright flash of flame, and focused on the ground ten feet away. Twisting, I rolled on my side as I teleported the rest of the way and rolled up to see yellow-edged blue flame drench The Machine to no effect. The Machine absorbed the heat like it did everything else. The mini-Machine that brought me the statue was not so lucky. Apparently the little ones were cheap copies, because it lit up red and yellow and sagged into a metal mess on The Machine’s leg. At which point The Machine ate it.

Whatever surprises The Machine still held, combat options did not seem to be among them. I had to let that thought go. The dragon swung around again, gliding through the air like an eel through water, bearing down on me and the statue I still held clutched against my stomach.

As its mouth opened I slapped the power lever of my air cannon all the way up and opened fire, over and over, as fast as I could pull the trigger. Maybe a third of those shots hit, but the first knocked its face aside so the next blast of fire went up and aside harmlessly. The others pounded into it over and over.

Except “pounded” didn’t seem accurate. The shots kept the dragon off balance, pushing it back and forcing it to writhe around to get back at me, but they didn’t seem to be hurting it. At all. Impacts that would blow a hole in a brick wall were nothing more than a little girl’s slap to this thing.

Then Ray streaked across the pavement and catapulted into the air, grabbing the monster by its back haunches. Lesson immediately learned: it might want the statue, but it wasn’t single-minded. It twisted around to bite at Ray, and, despite its serpentine shape, that still looked awkward. Ray on the other hand held onto one of its legs, swung around underneath its body like a monkey, and climbed up onto its shoulders to stomp savagely on the back of its head. Which had no more effect than my shooting it. Eesh.

The dragon thrashed, trying to shake Ray off. That didn’t work. It doubled forward and scratched at the back of its neck with its front claws. He climbed them as they groped for him, held onto its hips, and kicked it repeatedly where it looked like its kidneys should be. The thumps from those blows were loud, but got no reaction I could spot.

All the twisting had the dragon rolling about in the air out of control. I clenched my fists together, scooting up to my knees with the statue in my lap. Would I get lucky?

Ray, retreating from attack after attack, ended up hanging by the end of the dragon’s tail. It looped around to bite him, and he jumped onto its head, crouching to punch it right between the eyes. That was enough. Its next zigzag through the air went straight down, smacking into the pavement. I extended my hands and blasted it with the static gloves while Ray jumped clear. The dragon got its legs underneath it, lifted up to jump into the air again, and was brought up short by the foot I’d stuck to the ground.

Which it pried free a second later with only a little jerk of effort. Well, crud.

Now that it was on the ground, Claire took her turn. Skating around in front of it, circling lazily with one leg held in the air, she looked up into the whiskered, reptilian face and asked, “Hey, you’re a real dragon, aren’t you?”

It had been worth a shot. Dragons liked maidens, right? With Claire radiating girlish curiosity, I thought it might work. Instead the dragon opened its mouth, and only Claire’s Serum-enhanced ability to dive roll out of the way fast kept her from getting cooked by the spray of fire.

All the dragon had to do was turn his head to finish her. Struggling to my feet, I shot him in the shoulder. That only got his attention, but I yanked on the trigger of my air cannon repeatedly, slapping his face up and aside over and over. The fire sprayed all over the place, except where any of us were standing, which was all I wanted.

I had the guardian’s complete focus. It twisted around, avoiding my last few shots so it could line its head up on me. I took a step and teleported past it, right up next to Claire.

The jump was long enough I felt it in my legs and gut, but I had no time. Arms wrapped awkwardly around the statue, I yanked my gloves off and dumped them into Claire’s hands. “Squeeze like this to charge them!” I whispered to her, showing the grip.

The dragon heard my voice, spinning around after us, so I stepped and teleported past and behind it again. Right up near the wall of the school. I blinked hard, twice. Not only was the teleporting making my limbs ache, adapting to my view changing in sharp flickers made my eyes googly.

Forget my eyes. The dragon had figured me out. He spun right around again, and I jumped again out in front of it, and again off to the side. It wasn’t confused in the slightest. It hadn’t figured me out—it was following the statue I held wrapped in both arms!

That was when Ray hit it over the head with an iron post he’d ripped out of the fencing.

Even the dragon felt that. He hit it over and over and over, its head sinking with each blow, until it lashed out and tried to bite him. Maybe it felt those blows, but they hadn’t hurt it. Ray backflipped, then backflipped again, as it lunged like a snake for another bite. Claire skated past and bonked the dragon on top of its muzzle with a clenched fist. That was, just barely, worth a snap in her direction, but as she slid away the dragon guardian’s attention returned to its real target, the girl holding the statue—me.

I was already trembling. How long could we keep this up? Only one of us had infinite stamina. As the dragon scrambled toward me, I lurched and teleported behind it again, right up next to Ray. “Here. Take this. Play keepaway,” I wheezed, shoving the statue into his arms. He tossed it up into the air, and, as the dragon leaped off the ground, Ray went running, caught it, and rolled past a blast of fire.

A heavy ache followed the trembling. My body was so stiff and tired, but around the edges of the yard, hiding behind cars and school walls and peering through windows, the crowd of middle school kids were still watching us. I had an image to maintain. I teleported, a gentle step lightly on top of The Machine. Leaning against an upraised leg to look casual, I let the dark haze clear from my eyes and played with the levers of my cannon theatrically. I had plenty of time. The dragon didn’t give me another glance. It was after Ray, who darted around at random, jumped up, and vaulted over the dragon’s back, making it spin around in confusion. I’d counted on him being faster than it.

I hadn’t counted on the mini-Machines still obediently trying to carry out my orders. The remaining five scurried across the pavement, converging on Ray. He tripped over one. He went rolling. He recovered immediately, but as he fell two of the mini-Machines yanked the statue out of his grip and scurried back across the pavement with it to me.

The dragon turned. I had its attention again. Criminy. At least I wasn’t alone. Ray lifted one of the mini-Machines by two of its legs, swung and bashed the dragon in the shoulder. The dragon snapped at him reflexively, and he vaulted over its back again, causing it to twist around.

Two mini-Machines handed the dragon statue to The Machine, which set it at my feet. I couldn’t dodge anymore, and the dragon was already twisting again, forgetting about Ray to go after its precious statue. We were out of time.

“Now, Claire!” I yelled, or at least squeaked loudly. She was ready. Skating gracefully underneath its belly, she lifted her hands and unleashed the power she’s been storing as Ray and I fought. A lot of power, blinding flashes that remained as crisscrossed afterimages in my vision. I didn’t let it phase me. I pulled the trigger over and over, pumping air blasts into the dragon, not caring where I hit it.

The force was enough. Already bent in a knot, it lost its balance and hit the ground hard. Then it let out a shriek, its body spasming but unable to pull loose from the pavement. The charge had been enough. We’d beaten it.

I crouched down and picked up the dragon statue. Pretty heavy. Beautifully detailed, although a bit sinister now that I’d seen the real thing try to cook my face. Should I keep it? I’d worked hard enough for it, but that dragon would never give up and I didn’t know how to kill it.

Every superhero in the world would have a fit if I killed one of the last remaining dragons. Mech, for example, who in his gleaming copper colored armor was drifting down out of the sky over the schoolyard right now.