Pleasure's Offering (11 page)

“I think you’re right,” she whispered, reaching out to touch Jeric’s moon. “But if that’s so, we may have a problem. How much do you know about Avatars?”

“I know they’re strong,” Jeric said. “The moon’s Chosen aren’t as physically strong as the other gods’, especially those Chosen by the Great Sun, but I’m at least twice as strong as I was before the change, faster too. I know Avatars don’t get sick and I know the moon’s Chosen are always beautiful, though I don’t feel any more beautiful than I was before.”

“If you were any more beautiful, it would be a crime,” Zoa said, giving him a lusty look.

Jeric shook his head. “I’m nothing like you.” He looked at her and his eyes grew warm. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Zoa.”

Zoa had heard that before, but his words were so earnest, so heartfelt, that a blush spread over her cheeks and she nearly forgot where she’d been going with this. “You’re right about all that,” she said, getting the conversation back on track. “But there’s something you’re leaving out. The Chosen have many gifts, including the ones you mentioned, but the greatest gift is long life. I’m a young Chosen, barely five years from my Awakening. If I stay out of trouble, I could live to be two hundred, maybe longer. I think you may be stronger than I am by the time you master your powers, so you might live longer still. But Izar is human, he’ll grow old and die. A human’s life is nothing on the gods’ timeline. If we are meant to be a set, and I believe we are, then we’re a tragic one.”

Jeric took a deep breath. “We’ll deal with that when it happens,” he said. “But I know one thing for certain. Before you found me, I lived in shame. My captain and my duty were the only things that gave my life meaning. Otherwise, I knew nothing but fear and self loathing. Now things are completely changed. I have you and Izar both. These last days have been the happiest of my life, happier than anything I could imagine, and they’re only getting better.” His hand shot out, grabbing her shoulder. “I will let nothing take you from me,” Jeric whispered. “Either of you. We three are meant to be together. I feel it in a way I can’t describe.”

Zoa closed her eyes, squeezing his hand tight. If he felt it too, then their goddess had certainly spoken. Zoa had never imagined her life going in this direction. Some of the Moon’s Own made personal bonds, and those bonds were powerful in their own way, but most of the Chosen belonged to Dezira alone, going where the goddess bade. That was always how she’d seen her life, but now the idea of being alone, of being without Jeric or Izar, felt strange and unnatural. Zoa let out a long breath. What a change could happen in the space of a few days.

“I’m not going anywhere either,” she said, kissing the sleeping Izar and then leaning over to kiss Jeric as well. “All will be as the goddess wills.” Her voice was serious, but as she finished, her face broke into an enormous smile. “Of course,” she said, letting her eyes drift over the two beautiful men, “she’s not exactly asking me to make a sacrifice.”

“The things we do for Dezira,” Jeric said, lying back.

Zoa laughed softly and lay back as well, cuddling into Izar as sleep took them all.

Chapter Three

After that night, Izar declared Zoa and Jeric would be sleeping in his tent for the rest of the journey. The captain’s tent was larger and warmer, and Izar saw no reason to make the men set up and take down two tents when it was clear they were all going to end up together anyway. Zoa made a token protest that the soldiers were leering at the captain for his strange bedfellows, but Izar didn’t mind the looks a jot, and it certainly didn’t seem to be impacting his command, so she gave in.

It was a happy sort of surrender. Every day she rode between the captain and Jeric and every night she slept between them. Winter was now on the land in earnest. Even with the well-paved Imperial roads, the journey was long and hard, but that month of hard riding and icy rain was the happiest of Zoa’s life. The more time she spent with Jeric and Izar, the more she believed Jeric was right, they were a matched set.

Barely a night went by without some new discovery. Zoa worked with Jeric on his magic, with Izar as their willing target, but she also had him cast on the soldiers when they would stop at the highway towns. The brothels were always happy to see Legionnaires, and under her guidance, Jeric made sure everyone had a fantastic time.

Though Izar had told his men right from the beginning they were escorting two Avatars of Dezira, the soldiers hadn’t quite realized what that meant until their first stop. After that, they went from treating Jeric and Zoa as important guests to figures of reverent awe. Zoa was used to such treatment, but the change was hard on Jeric. He was a naturally private person and these men had been his soldiers when he’d been a lieutenant. Though he tried to hide it, Zoa saw him wince every time one of his former men touched his forehead in blessing when they rode by.

But awkward as it was at first, Jeric came around once Zoa pointed out how the awe that followed them spilled over onto Izar as well. They might be the Avatars, but he was the captain who slept with not one, but two of the Moon’s Chosen every night. Already, the rumors were spreading far and wide ahead of them. At every crossroads, the brothels welcomed their party with open arms, waiving the fees for the soldiers in return for the surge of business Dezira’s Chosen’s blessing brought them. The roadside inns would feed them the best of what they had to offer and the merchants dealt fairly with them without even an attempt at haggling. The crowds that came to gawk at them only grew larger as they neared the heart of the Empire, and by the time their column reached the river, the whole Empire seemed to know about the Fox of the Northern Front and his godtouched lovers.

“Honestly,” Izar said, eying the wall of people that had gathered to watch them load onto the barge he’d commissioned for the final stretch of their journey to the Capital. “Why’d I waste all those years hacking barbarians to bits if all I had to do to become a hero of the Empire was sleep with you two?”

“It’s because you’re a hero of the Empire that your bedfellows draw so much attention,” Zoa said, waving to the crowd. “Everyone loves to see a soldier do well.”

“You’ve always been the only popular part of the northern wars,” Jeric added. “They’ve been a waste of men and money from the start. Everyone knows your skill as a general is the only reason they haven’t degraded into an outright debacle.”

“Oh, it’s been a debacle for years,” Izar said. “All I did was sweeten the stinking mess with enough victories that the people could swallow it. Now though, I’m starting to wish I hadn’t. Look there.”

He nodded at the masses of people huddled along the riverside, their clothes as ragged as their eyes were hungry.

“Refugees from the southlands,” Izar said bitterly. “They’ve been in every town since we hit the inner territories, and the closer we get to the Capital, the more there are.”

Zoa had indeed noticed the growing numbers of wretched, ragged people, but she hadn’t realized they were all from the same province until Izar pointed it out. She also hadn’t realized just how many there were. Now that she was looking for them, they were everywhere, their tents and shanty huts leaning into every spare space. It was alarming to see so many desperate people at once, and not for the first time, Zoa wished she’d paid a little more attention to what was happening in the world beyond Dezira’s temples.

“What are they running from?” she asked quietly.

“Drought,” Izar replied. “Three years of no rain have turned the fields to dust. The south has always been the breadbasket of the Empire, but now it’s wasting away.” His face remained neutral, but Zoa could hear the leather of his gloves creaking as his hands clenched. “The gold the emperor spends paying us to fight barbarians over a few hundred miles of frozen waste could pay for irrigation that could save the fields, but he does nothing. Every year, my orders are the same. ‘Kill the tribes.’” Izar shook his head. “And it’s not just the southlanders who are hurting either. This whole town has gone downhill since the last time I marched through.” His eyes scanned the riverbank, pausing on the fading paint, the repairs that hadn’t been made, and his jaw tightened. “This can’t go on.”

“It won’t,” Jeric said. “That’s why you’re with us, right? To bring your concerns to the emperor?”

“If he’ll listen,” Izar said, dropping his voice. “Emperor Vallus is a fat old man more concerned with keeping his belly full and his cock wet than the running of his Empire.”

“There’s still the Senate,” Zoa said. “The emperor may give the commands, but the Senate holds the purse strings. If the beloved and popular Fox of the North tells them the unvarnished truth, it may strengthen their backbones enough to make Vallus do his job.”

“Or it may cost me my head,” Izar said, laughing. “But I’ve sworn my life to my Empire. I think my head is a small price to pay for a chance at making sure it doesn’t crumble around my ears.”

Zoa looked down. She didn’t think it was a small price at all. But if there was one thing the captain treasured even more than her and Jeric, it was his duty, and so she held her tongue.

The barge Izar had chartered was a large one. It was two stories tall, big enough to hold their twenty soldiers, supply carts and all their mounts. The horses were stabled below deck and the soldiers stayed with the small boat crew on the main deck, but the smaller upper deck was divided into two rooms, a small suite for the barge’s captain and another far larger suite for important passengers. Naturally, Izar commandeered that one for himself and his lovers. They pushed off at midafternoon, sliding out into the broad, slow river that would carry them the final hundred miles to the Imperial Capital.

While Izar and Jeric were getting things settled on the lower decks, Zoa walked the prow of the upper deck, watching the countryside roll by. It was warmer now that they were in the south, but winter was still on them, and she bundled her coat closer to keep out the chill. Trouble was, the chill didn’t come from the wind alone.

Now that Izar had drawn her attention to it, she couldn’t stop seeing signs of the Empire’s decline. The riverbanks were lined with shantytowns she didn’t remember from her trip up to the north months ago. Everywhere she looked, people were clustered around fires, their faces drawn and hungry. The river towns, which she remembered as lively hubs, were now quiet and subdued, even for winter. There was tension in the air, an anger on the cold wind, and Zoa began to shiver. Something was happening, but unlike Izar, she wasn’t sure it was entirely the emperor’s fault.

For the past few days, she’d been feeling a prickling on the back of her neck. It had come on so slowly, Zoa couldn’t even say when it had begun, but by yesterday it had grown from a slight annoyance to a full-blown problem, and today was even worse. It felt almost like some huge disaster was looming over her, but far off, more like an echo. An echo of what, though, Zoa wasn’t sure, and that bothered her more than the feeling itself.

She was still trying to sort it out when she heard someone coming up the stairs and turned to see Jeric with a dinner tray. He smiled at her and jerked his head toward the cabin. She followed, hugging herself against the cold.

“Izar’s finishing up downstairs,” he said, laying the tray on the table. “He said to go ahead, he’ll join us in a few minutes.”

Zoa nodded, spooning herself a bowl of the fish soup the ship cook had been preparing all afternoon. It was good, hearty and thick, but she barely tasted it. Through the shutter slats, she could see the sun setting, and she rubbed her neck unconsciously. It seemed the closer the sun got to the horizon, the stronger the strange feeling grew. By the time it disappeared completely, she had no stomach for food at all. She poked at the food a bit longer before pushing her still full bowl away. Jeric, who’d long since finished, gave her a long, flat look.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice soft.

She looked up in alarm and he sighed. “You’ve been upset for two days now, Zoa. You’ve hid it from Izar, but you can’t hide it from me.” He raised his finger, tapping his forehead, where Dezira’s moon was hidden. “I can feel you.”

Zoa’s eyes went wide. Of course. How could she have forgotten? Avatars forged a link with those who brought them into power. The stronger the experience, the stronger the bond, and Jeric’s Awakening had been the strongest she’d ever experienced personally. It had been so long since she’d felt her own bond, she’d forgotten about it completely, but as Jeric spoke, several things clicked into place.

She stood up at once and ran onto the deck, looking up at the sky. Sure enough, she saw nothing but stars. Tonight was the new moon, the night Dezira’s dark Chosen were strongest. Dark Chosen like the one who’d brought her into her own power.

She didn’t realize Jeric had followed her until his arms came around her, pinning her against him. “Tell me,” he said, his voice hard and determined in her ear. “Why are you so afraid?”

Zoa closed her eyes. “Let’s go inside.”

Jeric nodded and led her back into their cabin. Once they were inside, Jeric sat on the bed while Zoa closed all the shutters and lit the lamps. She was lighting the last one when Izar came in. The captain picked up on the tension at once, looking back and forth between Zoa and Jeric. “What is it?”

“We might have a problem,” Zoa answered, holding out her hands.

Izar took them and she led him to the bed, sitting down between them. “For the last few days I’ve been feeling this growing sense of…” She trailed off, searching for the right word. “Dread,” she said at last. “It came on so slowly, I didn’t pay it any attention at first. Today, though, it’s gotten immeasurably worse, but I still didn’t know what it was. Then Jeric mentioned the bond.”

“Bond?” Izar asked.

“The link between a Chosen of Dezira and the Avatar who brings them into power,” Zoa said. “Jeric is bonded to me just as I am bonded to the one who Awakened me. The link is one way, though, and I hadn’t felt mine in so long, I’d forgotten about it. Now though, I think that must be what I’m feeling. I think that looming sense of dread is coming through my bond.”

“What does that mean?” Jeric asked. “Is the Chosen who found you in danger?”

“No,” Zoa said with a deep breath. “That’s not what I meant.” She looked down, and her voice began to tremble. “My Awakening wasn’t like yours.”

A warm weight covered her fingers and Zoa looked up to see Izar’s hand clutching her own. She squeezed it gratefully, pulling strength from the captain’s strong grip and the heat of Jeric’s body beside her as she fought to find words for the thing she never talked about.

“Dezira is the goddess of desire,” she said at last. “All desire, including those many consider dark. But of all the things humans crave, few are as strong as the desire for power. The white moons are those who’ve chosen the kinder of Dezira’s aspects—love, lust, sexual pleasure, the desire to protect. But the Lady has another face, the dark moons.”

Jeric went still beside her, and Zoa leaned into him. “A dark moon is not necessarily a bad thing. They are the lady’s warriors. They can be stern and cold sometimes, and many are overbearing and even a little scary, but they are loyal Chosen of the Lady and they serve her dark face as we serve her light. But the man who made me was different. He was a dark moon in the truest sense. A man who desired nothing but power.”

She clenched her teeth. This was the hardest part. She hadn’t spoken his name in years, not since just after her Awakening. But here, surrounded by the two men who loved her, she managed to get it out. “His name is Toric,” she whispered. “Toric Vallus.”

Izar’s eyes widened. “The emperor’s cousin?”

Zoa nodded. “He’s part of the temple, but lives apart as a nobleman. He’s a very strong Avatar, mostly because his desire is so singular. When all you want is power, it’s easy to focus your strength.”

“Power is very attractive,” Izar said. “But what does Toric Vallus have to do with your feeling of dread?”

Zoa licked her lips and looked up at the cabin’s board ceiling. “Tonight is the dark moon, the night when the power of the Lady’s dark face is strongest. I’ve been feeling an echo through the bond for days now, but nothing like tonight. It’s still building now, actually.” She lowered her gaze to her lovers. “I think Toric is working a great act of magic. I haven’t felt the bond in years, but it’s a magical connection, and magic speaks to magic. Whatever he’s doing, it’s huge. He’s been building for days, but tonight will be the culmination with the full strength of the dark moon behind him.”

“And probably an entire palace full of lust,” Jeric added quietly. “Even I’ve heard of Toric Vallus’ tastes. His parties are the stuff of legend. I felt the power at Rosa’s and I wasn’t even Awakened yet. I can’t even imagine what a determined Chosen could do with the power of Toric Vallus’ orgies.”