Pledging to Die (An FBI/Romance Thriller Book 11) (53 page)

It made him grin. There was nothing better than catering to his girl. When he stood from the couch, holding her to his body, it was Callen’s pleasure to carry Elizabeth to bed.

There he crawled in with her as she cuddled into his body.

Now, this was heaven.

Some more time passed, and finally Ethan returned to the apartment. Callen could hear him wandering the room, and then finally finding them in bed.

“Is she asleep?” he asked.

“Yeah, she’s exhausted. Plus, she’s scared shitless.”

“Of?” Ethan asked, feeling that shame rising in him. He was damn well aware of why his wife was worried.

It was all his fault.

“You can’t lock it away, Ethan. Even if you’re pissed, you know better. You tell me all the time to share, and you’re not. If you’re frustrated, let us help you.”

Ethan stripped down and climbed into bed. “I know, Callen. It’s this case. I hate feeling like I’m a failure. I want to rage and scream.”

Callen knew how hard that was for him to admit. After being abducted, and tortured, Ethan never came back quite the same. He had dark shadows lurking in him, and little pockets of anger. He was fighting hard, but sometimes they snuck free.

“She’d rather you rage around than pull away. We both would.”

He curled against Elizabeth’s back, breathing in the scent of her perfume and Callen’s cologne.

It helped calm him down.

“I’ll talk to her in the morning,” he promised.

Callen let it go. If Ethan was giving his word, the man was honorable and would follow through.

“Goodnight, Ethan.”

He didn't speak.

Instead, he closed his eyes and prayed that a profile would materialize. He didn't want to let her down.

It was the last thing he wanted in life.

She was his all, and he was scared.

       
         
* * *
  B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x   * * *

He was terrified.

When he quit, they weren’t happy. Just making that call scared the shit out of him.

It would only be a matter of time, and he knew it. The shit was going to hit the fan, and he prayed he’d remain relatively clean.

As he arrived in his home, it was eerily silent.

That scared him.

He was being silly, and he knew it. There was no reason to be this freaked out.

As he strolled into his living area, he saw it.

There, hanging from the banister above, was a rope and noose.

His heart pounded as he turned to escape the room.

Only, he couldn’t.

There was company.

He wasn’t alone. Nose to nose with him was a Glock, and he was pretty sure it meant business.

“Oh, shit!”

There was laughter. “Get on the chair, put the noose over your head, and get ready.”

“No! I don’t want to die.”

“If you don’t, you’re going to jail. Is that what you want? Do you really want to be locked in a cell with cheap cotton sheets and no way out? The whole world will know what you did, and they’ll tear you to shreds.”

He began weeping. “Please. I did everything you wanted.”

“We promised them one more, and you’ve done nothing but bring the police to our door. You’re a disgrace to this university. You took their money to help save this school, and you promised to pay them back. You knew what you were getting into, Doctor, and you’ve failed.”

He shook as he climbed up onto the desk chair. He hoped there’d be a chance to escape, but the Glock never moved from his face. “Please! I can go! I’ll leave! I have enough money in my account to disappear and never be seen again.”

There was laughter.

He began pleading to save his life.

“Seriously? You’re begging for more help? This is all your fault. You had to screw those victims, didn't you? Why couldn’t you just get the organs and be done with it? You’re such a worthless dick. You made one hell of a mess!”

He sobbed as he put the noose around his neck.

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave a nice note to say goodbye. You’ll be happy to know you’re as guilty as sin.”

He went to protest, only to have the chair kicked out from beneath him. As it rolled away, he struggled to get some air.

His nails dug into the flesh of his throat as he hung twelve inches from the ground. There was the innate struggle to save himself from what he surely deserved.

Yet, he couldn’t.

Like the women, his free will was taken from him.

As his eyes bulged, faced turned blue, and life left him, there was regret.

Now he knew how they felt.

And he was ashamed.

Really, he only did it for the honor of the hallowed university halls.

He did it for love.

Chapter Seventeen

Monday Morning

When they woke, Ethan, like the night before, wasn’t there. Instead of remaining in bed with his wife and brother, he’d snuck away to shower.

That worried her the second she opened her eyes.

Callen stirred beside her, and immediately, he could feel the tension brewing in her body. Instead of telling her the conversation that he and Ethan had the night before, he had a better plan.

“You should go talk to him. If you go to him, you’ll feel better,” he stated.

Elizabeth glanced over at Callen, letting her eyes slide slowly down his naked body. There was tan skin and so many tattoos that it made her heart skip.

“Focus,” he teased, sitting up to kiss her. “If you feel like assaulting a Native, I think you can find a wet one in the shower.”

He had a point, but she couldn’t help it. What woman wouldn’t stare when in bed with them? There were days she couldn’t believe that they were hers.

Shaking out her curls, Elizabeth stretched. “Thank you for carrying me to bed last night. I should have stayed up working, but I was so tired.”

Callen pulled a pair of jeans from his suitcase and tugged them on. “We were all exhausted. I’ll go make us breakfast, and you work this out with Ethan. He needs you just as much as you need him.”

Crossing toward Callen, Elizabeth hugged him tight. “I love you. Don’t ever forget it.”

He simply held her for a few seconds, enjoying that touch of flesh to flesh.

“I never will, beautiful. Not for as long as I live. Now go,” he said, pushing her toward the shower and his troubled brother.

At the door, she blew him a kiss.

Callen laughed as his heart skipped from that simple little act. It meant so much to have her show her love, and he never wanted to go a day without it.

How could he?

Elizabeth was his everything.

She watched him in the shower.

As he soaped up his body, she couldn’t help but be enthralled with the way his strong elegant fingers slid over sexy skin. From the cut of muscle, to the tattoos he’d erratically placed all over his body in a misspent youth, Elizabeth was captivated.

This moment reminded her of the first time they’d made love. Shortly after, in her bathroom back in Salem, he’d been wary. She’d seen it in his eyes as he wondered if he’d be accepted by her.

She saw his secrets then and now. It was obvious that he was scared.

That look was there again.

Ethan Blackhawk, while strong on the outside, had weaknesses that few knew.

She saw them, and they didn't worry her.

Now, like those distant years ago, he was lost in thought. It broke her heart that he was so torn up inside, trying to find a profile for this case. He’d done his best, and sometimes, like it or not, that was all you could do.

Crossing toward him, she stepped into the large tile enclosure. He didn't realize she was there, and that said a lot. Here, he was trapped in his own mind.

She couldn’t let this eat away at him.

Picking up his shampoo, she squeezed some into her hand. Once, when he was upset, she’d chased him into the shower to apologize, but now, she was going to heal him.

One way or another, she was going to offer him some sort of peace.

Rubbing the shampoo in her hands, she stepped onto the lip of the shower to give herself three more inches in height. Then she touched him.

He jumped, not hearing anyone behind him.

When he glanced over his shoulder, he saw her standing behind him.

“Elizabeth,” he began, only to be stopped.

“Shhhh. Let me wash your hair.” With that, she massaged his scalp, letting her fingers draw away some of the tension. With each pass over his silky mane, he was less irritated. She could see his body calming, relaxing, and losing the tension.

He moaned in delight. “So good,” he muttered. “Now I see why you like when we wash yours.”

Elizabeth grinned in satisfaction. “Do you remember when you first washed my hair?” she asked.

He was having a damn, hard time thinking. “Yes. We were trying to find your father’s killer.”

“And I got mad at you for being a jackwagon.”

He laughed. “You got mad because I wouldn’t jump you after you found your father was murdered. I think that’s pretty heroic of me.”

Blackhawk stepped beneath the water, letting the soap rinse from his hair. It trailed down his body in soapy rivulets, and she couldn’t help but watch.

“You’re worried about letting me down, Ethan, aren’t you?”

He paused.

“Well, you have. Right now, you have.”

He turned in the shower, so much pain in his eyes. Before he could say anything, she touched his lips with her fingertips.

“What frustrates me is that you don’t believe in us. After all this time, you think that I could be disappointed in your skill. I really believed we were past this. We can’t solve them all, handsome. What makes that tolerable is that I’ll always know you’ve done your best, and you think the same of me. When it’s all over, it’s about us too—not only the dead.”

He listened to her words.

“The victims were battered, broken, and abandoned, and we tried to find the killer. If he escapes now, we’ll catch him eventually. You have to have faith in that and us.”

His eyes still held emotion.

Ethan was king when it came to holding everything back.

“I believe in you. I trust the man I fell in love with all those years ago. I don’t doubt that he’s smart enough, strong enough, and courageous enough to do his best. You play in the minds of madmen, Ethan. That’s not easy. So…one slips away. We’ll catch him eventually. At some point, he’s going to screw up, and we’re going to bury him.”

“I just worry I’ll let you down.”

“We’re a team. We’re partners. We’re all, Ethan Blackhawk, and you need to let me help you carry this weight.”

He closed his eyes. “I’d be lost without you.”

The grin appeared. “Darlin’, you think I don’t know that? You and Callen are a hot mess without me.”

He laughed. “Gee, thanks.”

“And I’m a disaster without you too. Without the men in my life, who act as my armor, my support, and my soul, I’d be a hollow shell of a human being. I only get through the day carrying all the memories of all the people I’ve killed, and the nightmares because of you. I survive simply because of you. Have faith in me, Ethan. Believe that I won’t be disappointed in you for doing your best. I promise I won’t.”

And she never broke a vow to a Blackhawk.

Her word was good as gold.

The tension ebbed away. “Thank you, Elizabeth. I needed that.”

She grinned wickedly. “Back to that time where you wouldn’t jump me in the shower,” she stated.

Ethan lifted a brow. “Yes?”

“I’m not that honorable.”

With that, she leapt, throwing her body against him as her mouth crashed into his. Tongues sought, hands wandered across soapy flesh, and there was nirvana.

Ethan didn't drop her, but he did need to use the wall to brace after her attack. She was in his arms and devouring his mouth with such need.

It flipped the switch.

Gone was the worry, the anger, and the pain. What he didn't tell her was that the jealousy of her past still simmered in him. Ethan hated that someone else loved her, wanted her, and asked to make Elizabeth his wife.

But for now, he’d keep that buried.

He had other things to worry about—like not slipping and dying in the shower.

When her hand found and stroked him, his eyes nearly rolled back into his head. It had been a while since they’d had some hot, wet, shower sex.

This was going to be one hell of a ride.

When his mouth answered the call of hers, she made breathy little gasps that drove him wild.

“Fast,” she whispered into the kiss. “Fast and wild.”

He wanted to pray to whoever was listening. If the woman he loved wanted frenetic, it was the least he could do.

When she moved her head to the side, giving him access to her throat, he teased it with his tongue and lips. When she was complacently letting him traverse her body, he took his chance and bit her.

She moaned.

His lower anatomy got harder from the pure need in her voice. Now he got why Callen enjoyed that little kiss of pain. His woman enjoyed it.

“Hurry, Ethan. I need you in me,” she whispered into his ear. It was the words which followed that drove him wild. There were promises of so much pleasure and how desperately she wanted him.

Lowering Elizabeth to the tiles, he pushed her to her knees, directing her to what he really craved.

Her mouth.

As she took him in, sliding his erection between her lips, he was forced to brace himself against the shower wall.

She devoured, making her husband beg for more. As she stroked him with tongue and lips, she knew there’d never be enough of him.

“What do you want, Director Blackhawk?” she asked, using that innocent voice.

It was enough to make him want to explode then and there. The big eyes, the pure look of love, and his woman on her knees was enough to drive him crazy.

“I want you. I’ll always want you.”

With that, he yanked her up, turned her around, and then pressed her against the tile. With probing fingers, and then the tip of his erection, he found her wet and ready.

“I will always need you.”

He slid home.

Elizabeth moaned at the invasion.

It was perfect.

It was hard.

It was Ethan being Ethan.

As he began sliding in and out of her body, he kept her trapped between him and the tiles. In her ear, he returned the previous favor, giving her all the fantasies in his mind.

She shook.

Elizabeth loved when he let go, and it was generally when they were alone. Here, in this shower, she learned more about the man she loved.

“Oh God!” she practically shouted when his very eager fingers found the most sensitive part of her body. He stroked, teased, and strummed her to the edge of release.

“Fall for me. I need you to go over, taking me with you. I need my wife.”

His left hand found hers on the wall, and it wasn’t lost on him when their wedding bands caught his attention. She was most definitely his.

His words pushed her to the edge and with one flick of his finger, stroke of his erection, and heated words, she exploded.

Ethan was right behind, burying himself in her body. When he hoarsely shouted her name, tumbling along, there was peace.

Most importantly, there was love.

Time passed. Their breathing slowed.

The pounding of their hearts matched.

“My wife is an animal.”

She snorted. “Yeah, and you should be thanking the universe for that, not bitching like a girl.”

He turned Elizabeth around and brought her mouth to his in a gentle kiss.

She’d done what she’d set out to accomplish.

Ethan was at ease.

“I love you.”

She touched his cheek with a warm palm. “I’ll always love you, Ethan. You were meant to be mine.”

He grinned. “We better get dressed and eat. Callen is going to think I molested you, instead of the other way around.”

“Actually, he sent me in here. I’m pretty sure he’s aware of what went on.”

He was touched that his brother had tried to fix him. “Let’s go grab breakfast. Suddenly, I’m ravenous.”

She patted him on the tan ass as he walked past her. She couldn’t help but watch him leave.

Holy shit!

She was a lucky woman.

“Thank you, universe,” she mumbled to herself as she headed out.

In the kitchen, Callen worked on breakfast. He was a pro at it now, thanks to Ethan and having kids. When their children wanted food, nothing stood in their way. If he didn't make them something healthy, they’d go spelunking for cookies in the couch.

As he looked up, he saw his brother and woman entering the room. Ethan’s arm was around her waist, and there was peace present on his face.

Well, mission accomplished.

Setting Elizabeth free, he crossed to his brother. Pulling Callen into his arms, he hugged him.

“Thank you.”

Callen grinned. “Wow! If I knew you liked scrambled eggs so much, I would have made them every day this week.”

Ethan laughed. “I love you, Callen. I’m blessed to have such an amazing brother and partner.”