Point of No Return (34 page)

At least he’d been polite. That was
something. I made my sandwich, ate it, then made another one. There
was also a good bit of chocolate left, so I had a few pieces,
savoring the sweet taste.

As I washed my dirty dishes, Lash returned
with his empty plate. Loading it in the dishwasher, he faced me.
“Are you going up to Dev?” Lash asked, leaning against the
counter.

I checked my watch. I had a good forty-five
minutes. “No. Back to the cellar,” I replied, giving him a
tentative smile.

He nodded, and led the way back down. Titus
was still not in his workshop, but it made sense he was likely
sleeping, as Lash was now working days. They had to trade off
shifts so someone was always guarding Devlin.

As I worked, I debated trying to talk to
Lash. I was tempted to ask what his book was about, as it sounded
dark, maybe a horror novel. I’d read one once called
The Book of
the Dead
that had been pretty decent.
But what if Lash’s
wasn’t fiction? Better not to ask.

At five to three, I closed the drawer I was
working on, and turned to Lash. “I’m going to have a bunch of
papers that can be shredded or burned. Can I leave them here in a
pile, or should I carry them upstairs?”

“Leave them here,” Lash hissed. “Titus can
incinerate them, when he comes in tonight.”

“I’m heading up to Dev.” I wanted to add,
“Thanks for guarding me,” but didn’t.

Lash stood up, and blocked my way.

I felt a shiver of fear, but held my ground.
“What?”

“Give me your cell phone,” Lash hissed. “The
one Danial gave you to use.”

My shiver became a small stream of fear as I
got it out of my purse, and handed it to him. He pushed a few
buttons, and then handed it back to me, his cold snake eyes looking
into mine.

“I was programming in my cell number,” Lash
hissed. “I won’t always be able to guard you as closely as I did
today, say when you are painting, or if I’m supervising the work in
the ballroom. But I’ll never be very far away. Now you can call me,
should you need me.”

I knew what he wanted me to call him for. I
flushed beet red.

Lash went on as if I was my normal pale self.
“I don’t leave on my phone usually, or carry it with me when I’m
here at Hayden. Dev has asked me to when you are here. Call if you
need me, and stay wherever you are. I’ll come to you.”

I turned redder, but nodded.

“Go to him,” Lash hissed softly. “He has
missed you.”

I went past him quickly, and ran up the two
flights of stairs to Devlin’s room.

“Come in, Sar,” Devlin purred.

I opened the door. Devlin was lying on his
side under the covers, as he had been before. “Come and join me,”
he commanded.

Relieved at his nearness, I eagerly got
undressed, and climbed in beside him.

“Hold me?” he asked, suddenly hesitant.

I squeezed him tightly in my arms. He sighed
contentedly. “Did you get it all sorted out?” he asked lightly,
teasing.

In annoyance, I bit him softly on his neck,
working his skin between my teeth with a growl. Instantly, he let
out a cry, and began kissing me urgently, trying to maneuver my
body under his.

“Stop it!” I said loudly, pushing him back.
“I’m not ready!”

Devlin went still, then he moved off me.
“Sorry,” he said, kissing my neck. “I thought you wanted sex, and
wanted it now. But you don’t, do you?”

I gave a mental sigh. “I always want you,
Dev. But take your time; we’ve got hours.”

“But I want to have you more than once,”
Devlin said peevishly. “We have only two hours—”

Time to get things out in the open
.
“Why can’t once be enough? That night we Oathed—”

“You want me to sate myself quickly, so you
can run back to Danial!” Devlin said, his harsh voice like thunder.
“You are not going back to him, Sar, not until I’ve had my fill of
you, no matter how long that takes—

I shuddered under him. He felt it, and it
made him angrier. “Does the thought of me loving you make you
shudder now?” he said in a deadly calm. “There are other things I
could do to you, Sar, to make you shudder for me. But they would
not be half so much fun for you—”

At once, The Lust curled up out of me, an
almost raging force. I looked him full in the face, meeting his
angry golden eyes. “Make me shudder for you, Dev. Make me scream!
Do your worst to me! But first take me hard, fast, and as only you
can.”

Devlin went absolutely still above me in
disbelief, his eyes wide with shock.

“Now you hesitate? Coward!” I hissed. “Where
are your arrogant words now, you prick?”

“You want me to hurt you,” Devlin said,
almost gasping. “You...you—”

“Do it, Dev, or I’ll call Lash,” I said,
smirking. “He’ll do what I need if you can’t.”

Dev snarled, his eyes red as blood, glowing
with rage. He shoved his length into me forcefully. I let out a cry
of pain and he silenced me with his tongue, kissing me roughly. He
moved hard and fast, driving deeply into me, still snarling.

Only one thing was missing. “Bite me!” I
screamed.

Devlin sank his fangs into my right breast to
the hilt. I screamed, thrashing under him. He held me down,
thrusting hard and fast, contracting his jaws over and over. Then
he pulled his teeth out and looked up at me, his great golden eyes
hot with lust, my blood on his face. “You wanted this!” he hissed.
“You’re going to take everything I give you, until I’m done!”

Yes!
Steeped in utter satisfaction, I
thrashed below him, moaning. He quickened his pace, hammering
himself into me forcefully, then began to jerk.

No! Not yet! I was so close!
“Bite
me!” I screamed again.

Devlin sank his fangs into my other breast. I
came screaming, shrieking, flailing under him as he screamed my
name so loud I expected the ceiling might cave in on us. He
collapsed on me, convulsing hard, still shouting loudly, the both
of us jerking as the orgasm ebbed.

Two seconds later, the pain hit me like a
slap in the face. I let out an agonized scream. Devlin recoiled,
looked at me in fear and worry.

“Argh!” I screamed, crying. “It hurts! It
hurts so much, Dev—!”

Devlin moved supernaturally fast, holding his
mouth to my wounds, giving me his blood to heal the bites he had
given me. He put pressure on the shallower one as he healed the
first one he had given me which hurt far more. Then, he healed the
other. The wounds healed fast. I breathed a sigh of relief, when
the pain subsided. Devlin began to clean me off with his lips and
tongue, licking up the blood that had spilled out of the deep
wounds. Though I was repelled by Devlin’s obvious enjoyment, I
didn’t stop him. Why let the blood go to waste?

Within minutes, he had gotten most of it. He
got up and brought me back a wet washcloth from the bathroom. I
wiped the rest of the blood off my body, then handed it back.
“Thanks.”

He nodded, then took the washcloth back to
the bathroom.

To my distaste, there were blood specks all
over the sheets and his upper body. In a few places, there were
more than just specks.
Yuck and OIY, as well
. “I’ve ruined
your sheets.”

“Forget that!” Devlin said, utterly
gratified. He slid back into bed. “Who cares about sheets? I’ll buy
new ones. That was fucking amazing, Sar!” He nuzzled me gently.
“That was better than I could ever have hoped it would be. Your
eyes were so dark, so demanding, so—”

“Angry,” I said tiredly. “The Lust is always
looking for danger, anger, force. When you threatened me, you
brought it out.”

“This is so wonderful,” Devlin whispered,
practically shaking with pleasure. “Now I know how to bring it out
of you, I can do it every time I‘m with you. I won’t have to worry
that you might need to be with Lash.”

I wasn’t surprised; he was a sadist, he
enjoyed inflicting pain. Still, I was repulsed to hear the absolute
delight in his words. He had liked hurting me. He had loved far
more that I had asked him to.

“Don’t worry about blood on the sheets—”

“There’s more than blood to consider,” I said
bitterly. “I’ll say things that—”

“I can handle what you said,” Devlin said
quickly. “This was a kind of role-playing, with me being what you
needed. Forgive me, if I scared you. I didn’t mean any of what I
said; I just was trying to satisfy—”

“You did mean it,” I said more bitterly,
disentangling myself from him. “You say you don’t want me to be
scared, but that’s not true. You use my fear to control me.”

Devlin was silent, watching me
speculatively.

“If you really believed I loved you, you
wouldn’t need that. You would know I cared about you. You wouldn’t
threaten me the moment I asked you for space or told you I was too
exhausted for hours of lovemaking.” I turned from him and fell into
an exhausted sleep.

* * * *

“Sar, you need to wake up,” Devlin whispered
gently. “It’s five o’clock. Danial expects you.”

I’d need to shower first, get the remains of
blood and the smell of our lovemaking off...
Screw it.
There
hadn’t been any love in what we’d done, not on either side.
Swallowing my upset over that, I moved to get out of bed.

Devlin wouldn’t let me. “Look at me,” he said
softly. “Please.”

Devlin was not often the polite brother. I
looked over at him in surprise. “What?”

“Sarelle, I’m sorry.” Devlin’s voice was
small and sounded very young. His golden eyes were unsure as they
looked into mine as if they might find strength there. “You’re
right. I will try harder to be better to you. You deserve not to be
scared any more, after all I have put you through since you’ve
known me.” He paused. “The truth is, I am afraid.”

“Of what?” I asked. “You know I love you. I
don’t say those words idly, Dev.”

He relaxed his grip. “I’m afraid I’m going to
lose your love. I’m not a good man like Danial or Theo. I never
even pretended to be until you needed me to be.”

“I told you before; you can be anything you
want to be—”

“No, I can’t,” Devlin said with finality,
looking away. “I need to be what I am to keep you safe from the
other Rulers. Being that way is easy, because I’ve been like that
so long. It’s far harder to be gentle, patient, or understanding.
Those things still feel unnatural. It’s difficult to change after
training yourself to be one way for years.”

“That is true for everyone. Loving someone,
really loving them, is hard work.”

“When Danial fell for you so fast, I laughed
and called him a fool,” Devlin said bitterly. “When you left him
again after having Theoron, I called him a fool again, and told him
he should bring you back by force. I couldn’t understand why he
wouldn’t.”

“He promised me he would let me go.”

“I couldn’t understand that,” Devlin said,
perplexed. “I still don’t. He wanted you, and he had the power to
keep you. How could he not use it?”

“He loved me and wanted me to be happy.”

“If it had been me, I would not have let you
go,” Devlin replied. “I love you too much, Sar, to ever let you get
away from me.”

“I know. That’s because you don’t love me as
he does. You love me as he did the first time, when his need to
possess me outstripped everything else.”

“I can’t help the way I feel. I know it drove
you from him,” Devlin said reluctantly. “I’m afraid it will drive
you from me, too.”

“I may not like it,” I said honestly. “But I
gave you my word, Dev. Whatever I might feel, I’m yours.”

“So you aren’t upset about what happened
earlier today?”

“I’m old enough to understand the difference
between consent and force, and so are you. I know you won’t hurt me
on purpose, despite your shouting and blustering when you’re
angry.”

“Tell me again you love me,” Devlin said,
desperate. “Please.”

“I love you,” I said, hugging him tightly.
“And I love your eyes, your beautiful golden eyes. I’m not leaving
you or Danial. Not ever.”

“Ah, Sar,” Devlin sighed. “I love you enough
to let you run, but far too much to let you fly.”

“And I love your glances meeting mine, across
forever or a room. Your touch, Dev, is strong enough for me to hang
my aspirations on.”

Devlin shot me a dazzling smile. “I didn’t
know you were familiar with McKuen,” he said, kissing me
gently.

I gave him one back. “I’ve been brushing up
on various poets, the better to amuse you.” I threw back the
covers. “Now I really ought to go shower.”

Devlin followed me to the bathroom, where he
examined the bites he had given me as the shower warmed up.

“Are you worried? Aren’t they healed? They
don’t hurt.”

“They were really deep,” Devlin said, lust
threaded through his words. “I wanted to make sure before I let you
get in the shower. But you’re right; they’re healed.”

* * * *

When I emerged, he was dressed and waiting.
“I’ll see you on Friday night for the appointment at Stephen’s
office,” Devlin said, giving me a kiss. “Come, I’ll walk you
down.”

“Do you want me to help you change the
sheets?” I asked.

“No,” Devlin said longingly. “I’ll do it
later.”

Would he change the sheets at all? Maybe he
liked it. Eww.

I followed him down to the kitchen. The pie
and bread were gone.

“I love you,” Devlin whispered, hugging me
again. “Tell Danial I said hi.”

I gave him a sarcastic look and teleported,
arriving in the great room near Danial. He was sitting on the
couch, his laptop in front of him.

“I should’ve known you’d be working,” I
said.

“You smell faintly of blood,” he said,
worried. “Your blood. Are you okay?”

“Dev brought The Lust. He bit me deeply, but
they’re healed now.”

Danial hugged me, relieved. “He went on and
on about how much he was looking forward to seeing you under it. I
hope you let him experience the full scope of it.”