Poisoned Rose (Dark Roses #1) (19 page)

              ‘Does the tattoo help narrow down your cousins?’

              Hawk shrugged, he was tired and his vision was growing blurry.

              ‘We’ll have to look into it.  We have somewhere between thirty and forty male cousins.  Also, none of Carter’s children had that tattoo.  Whoever is in that clip is still alive.’

              The room was silent, everybody avoiding eye contact.  He couldn’t take it anymore.  He stood up to start the clean up and get rid of Carlos’ body… and blacked out.

Thirty Two

              Aurora hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep until she heard Vince’s voice.  She found herself sitting on an armchair in the corner of one of the bedrooms in Aiden’s surgery while Vince leant against the door jamb.  Hawk was still unconscious, the monitors hooked up to his body letting them know he was alive.  She rubbed her eyes and slumped back into the chair, keeping a hand on her forehead.  They’d bought him to Aiden’s surgery after he’d passed out at the apartment on Mario’s instructions.  It’d been sixteen hours since Hawk had been shot and the armchair was the furthest she had been from him.

              ‘He’s been having fever episodes.  Aiden’s put a drip in his arm to try and keep them under control.’

              Vince thanked her for the update and hinted that there was a shower in the surgery.  She cut him off with the simple statement that she wasn’t moving and that he should be happy she had changed her clothes.  When he pointed out that she had only done that because he had forced her she ignored him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and changed the subject.

              ‘Johnny and Mario held the emergency Sit Down.’

              Vince’s face was expressionless.  It had been that way since he’d seen the clip of Angelina.  One moment he’d been his magnetic self, the next a dark shadow emanating hatred and vengeance.  She had seen the change wash over him and she knew he would never be the same.  He’d taken the cell and crushed it.  If they hadn’t saved the clip to other devices it would have been lost, the formal and tactical advisor in Vince gone.

              ‘It was tense.  There’s an atmosphere of uncertainty and the other Families are wary, which we knew would be the case.  But the good thing is that, for the moment anyway, all the Families have agreed to take Mario’s side in the war.  They had to show the clip of Angelina and that’s why they’re siding with him.  Nobody would be sick enough to ally with people who’ve done something like that to their daughter.’

              Vince stuttered his last few sentences.  It was out of character and added to her concern for his mental state.  She steered the subject away from the clip and asked what they’d told the cops about the house and the club.

              ‘For the house, Halo just threw money at the cops and told them it was a burglary gone wrong.  She said to rip the basement apart before any crime scene shots were taken.  The club was easier, we just made sure the building had been burnt down and any evidence burnt with it.’

              She waited for him to throw a sarcastic comment about loving fire or becoming a firebug.  Instead, he gave her nothing.  She turned back to look at Hawk, his monitors beeping without any concern for her anxiety, and Vince put his hand on her shoulder.

              ‘You should go see Dante.  He called mom.’

              She was shocked when Vince bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead before leaving, but it wasn’t the gesture that had shocked her.  It was the alcohol that carried on his breath and clung to his clothes.  Vince was a big drinker but he’d never smelt of liquor.  She covered her face with her hands and hoped they’d be able to stop him from the dark path he was heading down.  All she wanted was for Hawk to wake up.  After what they’d spoken about at the apartment, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be there when that happened, but she didn’t want to leave while he was still out either.  She needed time to process what he had told her.  She was so deep in thought that she didn’t hear the door to the room open.

              ‘Hey.’

              Dante was leaning on a walking stick and giving her a small smile.  She jumped to her feet and offered him her chair, but he shook his head.

              ‘Got my stick.  Aid says the cuts in my back are infected.  They… well, they carved over my Family tatt so I assumed they’d just followed the calligraphy but I must have been pretty out of it cause…’

              He was embarrassed but went on.

              ‘They carved ‘Mason’ over ‘Hannam’.’

              Amidst all the chaos, she hadn’t realized what the carving in her thigh really was.  Marcus hadn’t been carving his name, he’d been carving ‘Mason’.  She wanted to tell Dante, to reassure him that he wasn’t the only one branded by the enemy but he didn’t give her a chance.

              ‘Anyway, it hurts when I pull my shoulders back or move too quickly, which is why I need this stupid thing.  I look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.’

              ‘No way, you look amazing, after everything they did to you…’

              But she trailed off, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable despite the fact that it was true.  He’d had a bath and his wounds had been cleaned and bandaged.  His hair was tied back and even though he’d lost muscle mass, his chest was still broad and his body lean.  She decided to change the subject.

              ‘Did you talk to Johnny?’

              He cleared his throat.

              ‘Yeah, I’m lucky, I’ll tell you that much.  John had every right to kick me out of the Family, I more than messed up, but I asked for a chance to redeem myself.  I told him I’m going to change.  No more drugs or alcohol or women.  I’m going to step up, prove that I’m a real soldier and an asset to the Family.’

              ‘Did he agree to give you a second chance?’

              ‘This is a lot more than a second chance, and I know I don’t deserve it, but yeah.  He’s giving me another chance.’

              She smiled.

              ‘I’m proud of you.’

              ‘Don’t be proud of me yet.  But thanks for the support.’

              She nodded, then remembered what Vince had said.

              ‘You called mom?’

              Dante scoffed and a shadow fell over him but he didn’t reply.  She moved her head so he had no choice but to look at her.

              ‘What happened?’

              He tensed his jaw and paused to collect his thoughts.  Then he gave it to her straight.

              ‘She’s in rehab.’

              How could that have happened? She had expected her mother to get better once they found Dante, not take a turn for the worse.  Dante shrugged, aiming for nonchalance.

              ‘I rang the house after I’d been patched up but nobody answered, so I asked Vince where mom was and I rang her direct, thinking, you know, she’d be relieved and happy to know I was alive…’

              Dante trailed off and she urged him on.

              ‘Anyway, when she heard my voice she flipped out.  Dropped the phone and started screaming, saying people were out to get her and that they were playing with her head.  She attacked Uncle Rob and almost killed him.  When he searched her room he found alcohol, heroin and ice.  They don’t even know where she got it from.  Who the hell would deal to her Roar? Don’t they know who she is?’

              Dante realized what he’d said and shook his head.  Of course they knew who she was.

              ‘I’m sorry D, this is such a shitty situation for you to come home to.’

              Dante shrugged and told her he was just glad to be home at all.  Then he nodded towards Hawk’s bed.

              ‘So, are you and Hawk together?’

              She sighed and leant against the wall beside Dante.

              ‘I don’t know.’

              ‘Want to explain that?’

              She cocked her head out the door and Dante took the hint, shuffling out of the room and turning to lead the way back to his.  She closed the door to Hawk’s room, leaving it open a crack, and matched Dante’s pace.  They walked in silence and when they reached his room, she threw herself into an armchair as Dante settled into bed.  She waited for him to get comfortable before she spoke.

              ‘Hawk could have saved Mike.’

              Instead of the reaction she thought she’d get, Dante looked thoughtful.

              ‘How?’

              She told him what Hawk had told her.

              ‘Did he know who Mike was?’

              She shook her head and Dante gave her a look.  She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what he was thinking.  He wasn’t even going to bother saying it out loud.  It was just business. Dante asked her to sit beside him, and she perched on his bed so he could put a hand on hers.

              ‘I don’t know what’s happened between you and Hawk but I do know a few things.  You care about him, otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting at his bedside waiting for him to wake up.’

              It was a comment, not a question.

              ‘Another thing is that if you’re going to be angry at Hawk for not saving Mike, then you should be angry at me for not going to the buck’s night.  If I’d been there they would have killed me not him…’

              ‘You don’t know that…’

              ‘Let me finish.  If you’re going to be angry with Hawk, you should be angry with me.  You should also be angry at Austin for organizing the buck’s night in the first place.  While you’re at it, why not be angry at Johnny and Vince for not finding out about the hit? Why not be angry at Mike’s friends for not risking their lives to save his?  And you know what? Why not be angry with yourself for being his fiancée?’

              She winced, not willing to tell Dante that she was furious with herself as well.

              ‘Well it’s the truth.  There are so many people you could be angry at, but you’re not angry at us so why should you be angry at Hawk?  He didn’t know.  Aurora, you let dad go to his grave thinking you hated him and you will never get a chance to change that, don’t risk making the same mistake here.’

              Out of her three brothers, Dante was the last one she had expected to be diplomatic about the subject.  He continued.

              ‘You’ve gone through a lot of changes, you’re not the person you used to be, and right now, you’re reacting the way that the old Aurora would have reacted.  You think you should be appalled at Hawk’s behavior.  The concept of letting someone die to avoid business issues was unthinkable to you at one stage.  But the person you are now, I think she would react differently, and if you don’t know who she is yet, then how are you supposed to know how to react? Maybe you need to go away for a while and understand who you are before you make any decisions.’

              Everything Dante was saying made sense.  In the past few months she had gone from a civilian to a Rose who felt no guilt when it came to killing.  Hadn’t Marcus had a family of his own? Hadn’t the people in Sherman Oaks, or the driver, or Carlos?  They had all been somebody’s children, partners, maybe even fathers, and she didn’t feel bad that they had died.  If Johnny walked into Dante’s room at that moment and told her that a stranger was going to die and to make sure it didn’t happen on their property, wouldn’t she do the same thing Hawk had done? She stood up and ran both hands through her hair.  Everything had happened so fast that she hadn’t had the chance to stop and think, to come to terms with who she had become.  Dante was right.  She didn’t know who she was.

              Then she thought of Hawk.  He had saved her life twice, both times risking his own life for hers.  He had pushed her away to try and keep her safe and he had stopped her from confronting her brothers and making a huge mistake.  And that was nothing compared to all the things she knew he would do for her in the future.  But it wasn’t just what he did.  It was him, who he was, everything that made him so very special and unique.  His loyalty was unwavering.  His walls were sky high yet he had let her in.  His path had been preordained and yet he had a conscience, every action he had carried out leaving its mark on his soul.  Then there were his eyes, the eyes that he believed made him defective, those were the beautiful eyes that she wanted to wake up to every morning for the rest of her life.  But if she was there when he came to, in the state that she was in, she would destroy any future they could possibly have.

              ‘He’s going to hate me.’

              She didn’t expect a response and she didn’t get one.  Hawk was going to think that she couldn’t look past what had happened; maybe he would even move on and find someone else.  But as much as that killed her, she knew that if staying away from him while she figured out who she was would protect him, then that was what she would do. She felt tears well up and she wiped at them with the palms of her hands, then told Dante she’d see him at home.

              As she was leaving, she looked into Hawk’s room and felt like her heart would burst.  God she loved him.  She would die for him without a second thought.  She wanted to crawl into the bed and feel his warm body against hers, but she knew that as soon as he woke up, she would freak out, and he had been through enough without having to deal with her identity crisis.  She continued watching him, unable to convince her legs to walk away, but when he stirred and murmured her name, she bolted down the hallway, almost running into Honor and Ty as they walked through the front door.  Honor called out after her but Aurora didn’t stop.