Popcorn Love (46 page)

Allison, unable to even speak, nodded and patted
Elena’s thigh. She then rolled over and pulled Elena against her
chest, and they lay there, wrapped around one another, sharing soft
kisses and slowly regulating breaths until they both drifted off to
sleep.

* * *

Allison woke to Elena’s soft lips brushing over her
naked shoulder and down her side. She smiled into the plush pillow
she was partially wrapped around as she lay on her stomach and
tried not to jerk with each kiss. They made her body feel electric,
her spine tingling to the point of pain. When Elena slipped the
sheet from Allison’s hip and bit softly into the flesh just above
her hip bone, Allison couldn’t hold still any longer.

“Mm,” she moaned as her hip jerked forward just a
bit.

Elena laughed quietly, the sound ragged from sleep
and sexy as hell. She licked over the area she had just bitten
before pressing a soft kiss there. She then crawled up Allison’s
body and lay on top of her back. “Good morning.”

“
Best
morning,” Allison said, her own voice
low and raspy. She rolled, Elena rolling with her, and then
resettled with the woman now resting on her chest.

Her vision was blurry from sleep, so she quickly
rubbed at her eyes and then blinked. When Elena came into focus
again, Allison’s chest clenched so hard, it hurt. She thought it
was the best pain she had ever felt, like a physical jolt from all
she felt in that one breathtaking moment of seeing a bare Elena
partially wrapped in a white sheet, hair wild and eyes glimmering
in the streaks of early morning sunlight spilling through the
window, and wearing a smile so small but so intimate and so radiant
that it seemed impossible that it could actually be directed at
her.

“You see,” Elena whispered, “my bedhead is
horrible.”

Allison didn’t say a word. She simply continued to
stare at the woman, her breath completely gone and her heart
racing.

Elena sighed. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” Allison choked out, barely able to form
words as she lost herself in Elena’s eyes.

“Look at me and make me feel as if the entire world
has disappeared.” The words barely touched the air before fading in
another gentle sigh.

Allison licked her dry lips and swallowed thickly
before saying, “Maybe…” Her voice cracked on the word, and she
closed her eyes to settle her soul. She felt so much in that moment
that it was hard to keep her shit together. She felt like she was
on the verge of cracking open and letting everything spill out.
There was so much she wanted to say, so much she felt like she
needed to say, and so much that she didn’t have a clue
how
to say.

She knew how she felt about Elena. She knew it so
intimately that the knowledge seemed to thrum in her veins. It was
a feeling she had spent her life thinking she would never know, and
yet, here it was. It was embedded in her cells as if she had
always
known it, as if all the days of her life that she
spent feeling unlucky and unloved and alone were eradicated by its
presence, and all that remained was Elena and Lucas. Family. Love.
Belonging.

She took a deep breath and tried again. “Maybe
because when I look at you, it sometimes feels like the world
actually does disappear. Sometimes, it feels like you’re the
universe and I’m just lucky to be here. I’m just lucky to exist
here, to be a small part of your world.”

Elena’s eyes watered, and she took a shaky breath.
She reached up and traced her index finger over Allison’s bottom
lip as a tear escaped her eye and slipped down her cheek. “You are
so much more than a small part, Allison,” she whispered. “You are
so much more.”

Allison could see Elena’s love so clearly in her
eyes, and it made her heart beat heavy and hard in her chest. This
was the moment, she thought. This was the moment to say it, to say
everything; this was it. She took a deep breath and opened her
mouth, the words dancing on the tip of her tongue.

“Momma?”

Both Elena and Allison leaned up to glance at the
bedroom door. Lucas’s soft voice echoed through it, followed by a
gentle knocking against the wood. Allison cursed herself for
letting the moment pass as she watched Elena slip from the bed,
pull on a robe, and move to the door.

“Time to return to the rest of the world,” she said
with a soft laugh, wiping at her eyes.

“Yeah.” Allison sighed. “I guess I should head out
soon.”

Elena hesitated before opening the door.
“Already?”

“I wish I didn’t have to,” Allison said, “but I
really do have a lot of homework that I need to get done before
class tomorrow, and I’ve got finals coming up soon. I should
study.”

Elena frowned but nodded anyway before opening the
door to see her son.

* * *

As she made her way to the nearest subway station,
Allison was still annoyed with herself for not having told Elena
how she felt. Her stomach was unsettled by it, almost like she felt
guilty for not having put the feelings to words. It ate at her,
though she wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe it was because she knew
that other days and other times weren’t always guaranteed. Maybe it
was because she was afraid she would lose her nerve altogether if
she didn’t just do it as soon as possible. Maybe it was because she
had never felt this way before, and she was bursting with the
feeling. She just had to say it.

It didn’t really matter the reason, because that
uncomfortable feeling was enough in itself, and, before Allison
even realized what she was doing, she turned around and took off at
a sprint. She needed to say all the things swirling around inside
her. She wanted to. She wanted Elena to know, and she wanted to
know if Elena felt the same way about her.

So, in true Allison fashion, she ran; only this time,
she ran
toward
the hope of love instead of away from it.

Allison entered Elena’s house quietly and made her
way toward the living room. She stopped just outside the room,
though, when she realized that Elena wasn’t there. Lucas sat on the
couch, mouth open as he stared at the television, watching
cartoons. He didn’t hear or even notice Allison, so she quietly
turned and made her way back toward the kitchen. It was empty, so
she hurried down the hall to Elena’s room.

“Elena?” she called as she stepped inside, but she
received no answer. That was when she noticed the sound of the
shower running in the bathroom.

Allison darted over to the bathroom door and opened
it just enough to poke her head in. “Elena?” she called. She wanted
to make the woman aware of her presence before Elena could startle
and chuck the nearest object at her head.

The foggy shower door slid open just a crack, and
Elena’s face came into view, her hair slicked down around her
cheeks. “Allison? Did you forget something?”

Allison swallowed around the massive lump that had
suddenly taken residence in her throat and nodded.

“Oh,” Elena said. “What was it?”

Allison’s entire body felt like it was on fire, her
nerves sparking electrically under her flesh. She sucked in a deep
breath and moved, not even bothering with her clothes or her shoes
before pushing back the shower door and climbing into Elena’s
shower.

“Allison!” Elena exclaimed, stumbling backward under
the spray. “What are you doing?”

“I…” Allison began, water droplets streaming down her
forehead and over her eyes. They clung to her lashes, making her
blink rapidly, but she never closed her eyes. She continued to
stare at the beautiful bare woman before her. All of those feelings
bubbled rapidly to the surface again, and a surge of confidence
ignited in Allison’s heart. “I read a lot,” she finally managed to
say and then immediately wanted to smack herself when she saw
Elena’s brows furrow.

“I don’t understand,” Elena said. “You climbed into
my shower, fully clothed, to tell me that you read a lot?” She
laughed awkwardly, the sound croaky and weak, but her eyes deepened
with concern. She reached out and cupped a hand around Allison’s
cheek. “Are you feeling ill, dear? You’re behaving strangely.”

“Just listen,” Allison said. “Please.” She rubbed her
thumb back and forth over the inside of Elena’s wrist as she pushed
all of her feelings into her voice. “I’ve read all those stories
about soul mates and true love and all that stuff, but I never
thought they were real, you know? I never thought any of that could
happen to
me
.”

“Okay,” Elena whispered, the quiet word dying quickly
in the roar of the shower rain.

Allison’s breathing was shallow and made tiny bursts
of white fog as each breath hit the heated water raining down
around them and soaking through her hair and clothes. “I never
thought I’d feel that way about someone. I never thought anyone
could ever feel that way about me, but every time I’m with you and
every time I think about you, I find myself hoping that you do.”
Her voice cracked terribly as her throat tightened and tears began
to blend with the shower water on her cheeks. Still, she pushed
through it. Putting herself out there, laying her feelings bare,
scared the hell out of her, but she had to say this. She
wanted
to say this.

“I find myself hoping that you feel that way about
me,” she confessed, “or that you
could
feel that way about
me someday, because all those books say that you only get one, you
know? You only get one great love to last a lifetime, and I think
it’s you. I think you’re mine. I want you to be mine.”

Elena’s eyes widened and her lips parted around a
sharp breath.

“You and Lucas,” Allison continued, her voice now
shaking so hard that she could hardly get the words out, “are
always on my mind. You’re always in my heart, both of you. I love
Lucas like a son, Elena. I want to be in his life. I want to watch
him grow up. I want to be there beside you watching him play Little
League or singing in his first school play. I want to be there. I
want you to
want me
there. I’ve never wanted anything more
in my whole life.”

“Allison,” Elena croaked, her hand now clasped over
her mouth as her body trembled and she blinked through her
tears.

Allison took a step forward, the shower spray now
beating down on top of her head as she pulled Elena closer.
“Remember when I told you that I learned to say something in
Spanish that I wanted to say to you?”

Elena nodded, eyes locked on Allison’s.

“Bear with me, okay?” Allison sniffled and pushed wet
hair back from Elena’s cheeks. “I know my Spanish sucks, but it’s
important that you know that mi corazón es tuyo.” She said the
words slowly, doing her best to pronounce them as perfectly as
possible while conveying how much she meant them, and she did. Her
heart was entirely Elena’s.

A small sob escaped between Elena’s fingers, still
cupped over her mouth.

“It’s yours,” Allison promised, “because I love you.
I’m in love with you, and I know that I don’t have anything to
offer you. I don’t have any money. Hell, I don’t even have a job
right now, and I’m just a goofy kid who will probably never fit
into your fancy lifestyle, but I don’t really care. I don’t care,
because if you love me, then I’ll do whatever it takes to make you
happy. If you love me, I—”

Her next words died against Elena’s lips as Elena
surged forward and kissed Allison hard on the lips. She pressed her
soaked bare body against Allison, arms wrapping tightly around her
neck, and sobbed into Allison’s mouth as she said, “I do,” over and
over. “I do love you.”

They stood beneath the shower rain, wrapped around
one another and soaked to the bone, and the world drowned away in
the hum of the spray, until the heated presses of desperate kisses
and of fingertips to flesh became all they knew.

“You do?” Allison asked, needing to hear the words
again.

Elena nodded against Allison’s forehead, their soaked
skin sliding together. “I do,” she whispered in a puff of fog. “Te
amo, Allison.”

Allison smiled at the words, letting them fill her
up. They pressed together again in a perfect kiss, long and deep,
and, as the spray beat down around them, they gave themselves over
to the feeling of loving and being loved in return.

Nearly two full weeks passed without Allison and
Elena seeing one another. Elena was swamped with work, as she had
several spring shoots back-to-back to organize, and Allison was
neck-deep in final classes and exams. The separation wore on them
both, but they bore it the best they could. They filled in the
spaces with texts and phone calls, talking as often as they could.
Their conversations ranged from the silly to the serious, but each
one drew them closer and closer together.

This class is so boring.

Which class?

It’s one of my lit courses, and it’s not the subject
that blows. It’s the prof’s book choices. I seriously can’t get
down with stuff that’s SO classic that it’s barely
understandable.

Some classic literature is wonderful, but I know
what you mean.

Yeah, and my prof’s voice is sooo monotone, so it’s
even worse. Seriously, if I had a chisel or, hell, a friggin’ SPOON
right now, I’d be digging a hole in this wall straight prison style
and escaping.

You only have a few days of classes left.

Good point, but then I’ll be starting all over again
with new classes for my master’s.

Well, that was your choice, Allison.

You know, complaining with me is way more of a
turn-on than playing devil’s advocate.

I see. In that case, what I meant to write was that
that class sounds awful, and I would certainly assist you in your
grand prison escape were I there.