Porn Star (16 page)

“Yes,” Cassidy replied.

“Do you wish to waive these rights and
continue questioning?”

“No, I want a lawyer,” she replied and
crossed her arms in defiance.

“Ok, give me ten minutes,” the detective said
getting out of his chair.

“Where are you going?” Cassidy asked.

“To get you a lawyer,” the detective replied
confused.

“”I’ll get my own lawyer thank you very
much,” Cassidy replied bitchy. “Since when does the cop get the
lawyer? And don’t I get a phone call? Supposedly to get a
lawyer?”

“We only have one lawyer,” the detective
replied with a smirk.

“I don’t get to choose my own lawyer?”

“I said we have one.”

“I have my own family lawyer, I don’t need
yours.”

“Hey, I was just trying to be nice, if you
want to get your family lawyer, go ahead. I’m going to book you
first and then you can call whoever the fuck you want. Now follow
me.”

Cassidy stood up and stepped around the
table. Detective Bank held opened the door and let her in the hall.
“Can I get a drink?” she asked.

“I’m not a waiter, get your lawyer to get you
a drink.”

“What a bastard,” Cassidy said under her
breath.

The detective led Cassidy down the hall into
the booking room where she stood up against the wall for her
booking picture. “Don’t smile, it looks bad in the papers.” She
looked around the room and compared this booking room to the
booking room she was in when she was picked up for driving on a
suspended license. It was amazing similar with painted brick walls
and off white colored countertops with computers and printers set
on top.

“What color are your prison uniforms?
Orange?” she asked sardonically.

“No, white with the word prisoner on the back
in big black letters. Why do you ask? Have you worn a few in your
day?” the detective asked.

“Do you have communal showers?””

“No, each shower has its own stall.”

“Are your guards lesbians?”

“I don’t know, never asked. Why?”

“I’ve had a few issues in the past, I don’t
plan to go through them again.”

“So you are a repeat offender? I figured as
much, we’ll run your criminal history in a second.”

It was then that Cassidy realized that she
would be ousted with some sort of warrant for faking her own death
in South Dakota and sent back. Holy shit, now what? Back to the
firing squad for her, only this time they would do it in the pond
so she would drown right after the shots were fired, then set on
fire to make sure there was nothing left of her. “Yeah, you’ll have
a hay day with my record, I shouldn’t bother to change my clothes,
you’ll be sending me back to South Dakota in an armored car.”

“Is there a warrant for your arrest in South
Dakota?” the detective asked.

“Honestly I don’t know, but I’m sure they
want me back.”

Three days later Cassidy is passing the time
in her cell watching television. Bored out of her mind and worried
about extradition back to South Dakota for execution, she gnawed on
her fingernails like an angry beaver. Then she heard clanking
sounds and men yelling, then a gunshot and more metal cracking and
bending.

She stood up and ran to the bars looking to
see what was making all the noise but she had a very limited view
of the hallway. More crashing and muffled gunshots bounced around
the hall making it hard to tell exactly where all the commotion was
coming from. Then the clear and distinct sound of the main door
hitting the floor and smoke rolled across the ceiling in plain
view. Whatever was going on was now in the confinement center and
on its way.

Then she saw him, a man she hadn’t seen in
months standing before her on the other side of the bars. It was
Dennis her photographer. “Hi Cassidy, how are you?” he asked like
nothing ever happened.

“What’s going on? What’s all that noise?”

“Remember that scene in Star Wars where Darth
Vader first appears on the rebel ship? Think of that, without the
cool black costume.” Dennis replied.

“You think you’re Darth Vader?” Cassidy asked
confused.

“Never mind, I’m here to bust you out.”

Cassidy stood dumbfounded and confused.
“How?” was all she asked.

“Remember that alien ship we were on?”

“Yeah.”

“And that probe they stuck up my ass?”

“I remember you saying something about
it.”

“Turns out there really did plant some eggs
in my ass, and now I have some really fucked up powers,” Dennis
said like a giddy schoolboy.

“Like what?” Cassidy asked.

“Super strength, bullet proof skin, I can run
really fast and have some psychic abilities.”

“Is that all?”

“I think that’s pretty impressive,” Dennis
replied with an eyebrow raised.

“I wasn’t being a bitch, I was curious. This
is a stressful situation and you may have left a few out.”

“Like what?” Dennis asked.

“X-ray vision?”

“No.”

“Rubber body parts?”

“No.”

“Can you fly?”

“No.”

“Do you have a secret cave where you live,
and a sidekick?”

“I’m not Batman, and those are not abilities.
Batman used his wealth to created his power, he didn’t have any on
his own.”

“An invisible jet?”

“Same as Batman, an invisible jet is not a
power, it’s something you buy in the toy section of a department
store.”

“Ok, then once you bust me out of here, how
are you going to get me away from this place? I don’t have bullet
proof skin.”

“I brought you a bulletproof vest, it’s in my
car.” Dennis replied all proud that he thought of that in
advance.

“What about my head? Did you bring a bullet
proof helmet?”

Dennis smiled like was the smartest thing he
could think of. “No, but I did bring a second vest that you can
wear like a hat.”

Cassidy scratched her nose and said, “Ok, get
me the fuck out of here.”

“No problem, stand back,” he said and tore
out the cell door like it was paper.

“Did you say the bulletproof vests were in
your car?”

“Yeah,” Dennis replied.

“Then how do I get from here to your car?
This place is filled with cops.”

Dennis stopped in his tracks and thought hard
about what she had said. She was right and he didn’t think about
bringing in the vests. How stupid could he be? Then an idea hit
him? “Where is the parking lot from here?”

“I don’t know, I get my directions all
screwed up inside. Don’t you have a super compass?”

“Let me think for a second,” Dennis said and
he closed his eyes as he tried to trace his way from his car, into
the building and to her cell. He pointed and turned and pointed and
turned and then opened his eyes. “I think I parked over there,” he
said pointing to the back of the cell. I parked in back so nobody
would see me coming and i think that is the way to the back.”

“What do you want to do, bust down the wall
and get in your car and leave?”

“They won’t see it coming, they will expect
us to go back out how we came in.”

“Makes sense, ok bust down the wall, if they
are standing there waiting for us, you block all the bullets with
you bulletproof skin.”

“Ok, step aside,” Dennis said walking over to
the back wall of the cell.

“Are you sure the parking lot is on the other
side? I mean it might be a kitchen, or bathroom, now would be a
good time to have x-ray vision, and are you sure your skin is
bullet proof and not just bullet resistant?”

“What’s the difference?” Dennis asked.

“One means bounces off, the other means
bullets stuck sticking out of your hairy arms and bleeding all over
the place. How did you ever figure out they were bullet anything
anyway, did you practice shooting yourself?”

“I did with a pellet gun,” Dennis
replied.

“Excuse me?” Cassidy replied.

“I knew that my skin was tougher than it was
before, but I don’t own a gun, so I had to use what I had. My
neighbor kid has a pellet gun so I asked him to shoot me in the leg
and it bounced off.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“You saw me tear that cell door off like it
was nothing, look at my hands, not a scratch.”

Cassidy leaned over and took a look at
Dennis’s hands. He was right, not a scratch. “What kind of eggs did
they plant in your ass?” she asked.

“I don’t know, all I do know is that I get
one hell of a belly ache if I eat Mexican food. I can feel the
little fuckers running around down there.”

“Are you sure it’s not a tape worm?”

“No, I didn’t do a biopsy,” Dennis replied
getting pissed.

“Did you ever check your stool? Sometimes
tapeworms get shit out in pieces.”

“Do you want out of here or do you want to
discuss my shit?” Dennis asked pissed.

“Just saying, those things can be nasty, my
best friend got one in Mexico on spring break from eating a
taco.”

“Is she able to bend steel?”

“No, she’s real fat now and has three kids
and her husband came out gay last year.”

“Stand behind me, I don’t want any of the
debris to mess up your body, you have porn to make when we get
out.”

Cassidy walked out of the cell and stood
around the corner so she would be safe from flying concrete. “Ready
when you are,” she shouted and waited for the destruction.

After hearing the wall come crashing down,
Dennis yelled for her to come back into the cell. What she saw
shocked and amazed her. It was a cave that led back as far as she
could see. Somehow the jail had been built at the entrance of the
cave sealing it shut, and now it was open. The light from the jail
lit up the cave for the first thirty or so feet, and from there she
could see the glow from patches of rock all around the cave that
added more light. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to see by.

“Let’s go,” Dennis said stepping over the
debris.

“Where does this go?” Cassidy asked.

“Away from the police, now hurry.”

Cassidy quickly stepped over the debris and
followed Dennis into the cave. It was tall, twenty or so feet tall
and just as wide. The floor of the cave was soft and sandy and
squished under their feet as they moved in deeper. In the distance
they could hear water dripping, and what sounded like muffled
voices. “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she said. “This cave
was sealed for a reason.”

“You have two choices porn star, one, go back
and let them take you to South Dakota for execution, or two, see
where this cave leads to. If I were you, I’d give the cave a
chance.”

Cassidy quit complaining and followed Dennis
into the cave leaving the entrance in the far distance. “Where are
the cops? Why aren’t they following us?” she asked.

“They might know something we don’t, but be
glad they didn’t follow us. “Dennis replied. The two walked for
twenty minutes nonstop in the dim glow of the luminescent rocks.
Then they heard the sounds of a voice again in the distance. Dennis
signaled for Cassidy to stop while he tried to figure out who was
ahead of them.

The voice started, and stopped, and started
again. It was loud for a moment then they heard the sound of
clanking, like metal on rock. Dennis decided to go on and see what
was going on, they had little choice at this time. He signaled for
Cassidy to follow him.

A few minutes later the sounds of the
clanking were becoming more and clearer. Then Dennis saw it, a
short hairy figure swinging a sledgehammer against the cave wall.
Next to the figure was a cart containing a pile of rocks. The hairy
creature swung the hammer over and over breaking rocks from the
wall taking a break every ten or so swings. Then it would mutter
something about how hard its life was doing this kind of work.

Dennis and Cassidy stood in the shadows
behind a rock and watched the creature. It looked like a Muppet.
About two feet tall, big eyes and arms that looked like garden
hose. “What are we going to do?” Cassidy whispered.

The creature took immediate notice of her
voice and set the hammer on the ground. ‘Who’s there?” it
asked.

Cassidy looked at Dennis with a surprised
look on her face and shrugged her shoulders asking silently if she
should answer. He nodded to her. “My name is Cassidy,” she
said.

“Cassidy who?” the creature asked.

“Cassidy Rayne, the porn star,”

Dennis gave Cassidy an odd look and said, “I
don’t think he knows what a porn star is.”

“What is a porn star?” the creature
asked.

Dennis gave Cassidy that “I told you so,”
look.

“Come out so I can see you,” the creature
said.

“Will you harm me?” Cassidy asked.

“Not unless you harm me first.”

“I have a friend with me, ok?”

“Sure, come on out, I want to meet you
both.”

Cassidy and Dennis both stepped out in plain
view and walked over to the creature. They stood silent for a
moment so the thing could get a good look at them. Up and down it
looked, like it was reading a book. Its huge eyes blinked and
squinted getting better focus.

“What is your name?” the creature asked
Dennis.

“My name is Dennis,” Dennis replied. “And
yours” he asked.

“Henry Davis Thoroughbred, the third, most
call me Burger King, or King for short.”

“Why do they call you that? Do you like
Burger King?” Dennis asked.

“What the fuck is a Burger King?” King
replied. “I hate that name.”

“It’s a chain burger restaurant,” Dennis
replied.