Portal (19 page)

Princeton High had its share of bullies. I had long since established that I was not to be messed with and they left me alone. Although, they didn’t much approve of my hanging out with the hockey guys. Guys that they crushed on, guys that I had total access to. It didn’t go unnoticed that I was the girl who had been welcomed into the hallowed halls of the boys locker rooms for pre-game chats, that I was the girl who rode with the boys to the games, that I was the girl on their speed dial. I guess that it was odd that I had never dated any of them. I didn’t “crush” on the guys like the other girls. The last time I had “crushed” was in second grade, my best pal John, but I had not seen him in years. He had moved to France when we were eight.

Simla was an easy target for the bullies. She was almost always alone, always dressed in old clothes that were mostly too big for her. It was not long until the bullies noticed her and decided to make her life hell.

It all started in the girl’s restroom. One of the girls, Meghan, had decided that it would be fun to record Simla going to the toilet and then post it on Facebook. Of course, the video sucked. It was a hurried, blurred clip made by someone shoving a cell phone under the stall door for a couple of seconds. Simla couldn’t be identified in the clip but it left her humiliated. She withdrew further into herself and was absent from school for a number of days. When she finally arrived back she looked beat as she sat resignedly in her seat. I pulled at her hair to get her attention during class, but she did not respond.

“Simla, how are you doing? I heard what happened, so awful!”

I could see her body tense up as she deliberated whether to turn around and respond. After all, she may have thought that I was one of Meghan’s posse, she wouldn’t know. I was just the rough hockey girl who copied her work.

“Simla, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not one of them, honestly.”

She turned around slowly and peered at me through her glasses uncertainly.

“Have lunch with me today? You know Ariele and Monica?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“They are really good friends of mine, they’ll be at lunch too, join us. I promise it will be ok.”

She looked unsure but nodded. I hoped that she could gather up courage in time for lunch. She did and I was glad to see her. Simla was quiet to begin with, but she quickly came out of her shell thanks to Ariele, who has an easy, welcoming manner. Once we got her talking, she wouldn’t shut up! She had lived a fairly interesting life and the stories she told cracked us up.

I took care of Meghan and friends easily.

I wondered what had changed with Simla, she seemed like a completely different person. Where had she found the physical strength to create this damage, I wondered swallowing painfully.

My hand moved to my throat again. I sat up. My throat was so dry that I could almost not breathe. I needed water and looked around for some. The glass on the bedside table was empty. Kellan didn’t stir as I gently moved his arm from my waist. I got up, slid into my flip flops, and went down to the kitchen to pour ice cold water down my throat. That felt so good.

Gertrude had heard me get up and came in wagging her tail and poking her nose at the door. She seemed desperate so I got her leash and stepped outside with her. The cold air hit my face and felt good against my throat. Poor Gertrude was not fond of it and wanted to go back in as soon as she’d done the needful. We walked back inside and I gave her a treat before returning to my bedroom.

Although wide awake, I didn’t want to stay away from Kellan any longer. I crawled back into bed and watched him sleep. His hand moved finding my elbow. I noticed his hand was scratched up – nail marks, which must have been me, ugh. I watched him for ages studying every detail of his face, his sensitive mouth, which turned up at the corners, in what seemed like a sneer, but I knew better now. His long eyelashes, flawless brows and thick hair all messy from the day I had put him through. He really was amazingly hot.

After what had happened earlier, I resisted the powerful urge to touch him. I wondered what he made of his newfound Siamese twin. His lids flickered. I held my breath not wanting to disturb his peaceful sleep. I also didn’t want him to catch me staring at him in this creepy fashion. They flickered again and opened, gazing right into mine. His lips broke into a smile.

“Hey, Shrimp,” he said sleepily, “How are you feeling?”

“Embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? Why?” he asked surprised as he took a strand of my blonde hair and pulled at it.

“Look what I did to your hand.”

“Oh, that’s nothing. Just a few scratches, you were scared.”

“Who does that when they are scared? I really made an ass of myself yesterday. I am so sorry.”

“Really, Shrimp, it’s ok. How’s your throat? It looks awful.”

“Still hurts, especially when I try to swallow.”

“I need you to tell me who did this to you?”

“Why?”

“So I can make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Kellan, it’s ok. I need to deal with this myself.”

“Oh, come on, Arizona! Look at you. Nice
dealing
!” He sighed.

“She took me by surprise,” I said totally humiliated that I had let Simla get away with this.

“She?”

“Yes, a
she
so you see why I can’t have you dealing with it.”

“Was it Simla? She was seen coming out of the restroom just before we arrived. I couldn’t picture it before. I thought it unlikely. Simla? Did she have others with her?” he asked baffled.

I was beyond mortified. I closed my eyes trying to remember how I let this happen. It was all a blur. I could just remember the feeling of helpless surprise and disappointment.

“Kellan, it’s a blur. It was Simla, on her own. I can’t believe I let this happen. I keep trying to remember the details but can’t. I have to deal with this myself. Can you see that?”

He shook his head and took my hands, “It’s not your fault. You can’t be on alert all the time especially when you are with those you feel you trust. What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure yet, I need time to think.”

I lay back down on the pillow, a hundred different scenarios running through my head, each ending with me annihilating Simla. I had to get this anger under control. Kellan looked down at me, trying to read my thoughts.

“What are you thinking, Shrimp? You look ready to kill.”

I laughed, “I’m sorry. I had some less than sweet thoughts on how to deal with my Simla issue. Don’t worry though. I won’t translate them into action. What worries me more than what Simla did is what she said,” I slipped.

“What she said?”

“Kellan, I really have to talk to you. I have so much to explain. I bet you find me a bit confusing at the moment?”

“Yes, to say the least! However, I’m enjoying it, bits of it anyway. I could do without rebel Arizona though,” he grinned. “You’re avoiding my question again.”

“I am, sort of. Can I explain later, please?” I pleaded pulling his face closer to mine.

He brought his lips down on mine and brushed against them softly and whispered, “You make it hard to say ‘no’. Shrimp, you’ve no idea what you’re doing to me. I need some answers from you.”

I nodded, I had promised. I needed him to know the whole me.

“I’m going to head home, take a shower and be back here with a picnic at lunchtime. Can you explain everything then?”

He was going? I felt a shiver run down my spine and trembled. He shot me a worried look, his brows furrowed as he took my hands.

I tried to reassure him, “I’m going to be fine. I’m just a bit cold, I better get back under the blankets.” I lay down wrestling my feet back into the blanket as Kellan pulled it over me and tucked the sides under me.

“Get some sleep, you have some questions to answer later,” he teased and got up and left.

I suddenly felt all alone and scared again. All I wanted to do was to run after him and make him stay but I resisted. That would be beyond pathetic. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Simla again. What had she meant when she said,
I know all about your family
?

Perhaps I should talk to her and find out what this was all about. I had sort of avoided her; she was right to be angry about that. Maybe she could shed some light on my current situation, she certainly made out as if she knew something about it. However, Simla’s aggression worried me. She really must dislike me strongly to do what she had done. It couldn’t just be about Justin, surely? Was she that into him? How bizarre. I had not even done anything to Justin! I could go to the cops and get her into heaps of trouble. She must be fairly confident that I wouldn’t. What did she have on me that made her so positive? What she had done to me was so insane, totally whacked.

Did this have something to do with Mom’s work? Did Mom have something to do with Simla being here? Had she engineered this? Why would she involve Simla? It didn’t make any sense.

Mom was definitely happier here, life with my dad had been miserable for her. I had noticed in my short time here that she was far more content and relaxed.

Here
…. I focused on that word. What did
here
mean? It was clear that we were in California, in Mountain View. But
when
were we
here
. We seemed to be about eight months behind, how could that be? I had tried to call my dad a number of times, but the phone line did not exist, neither his cell nor work. It was time for some Google.

I brought my computer over to my bed and made myself comfortable as it booted
. Dillard Stevens NJ
, produced no hits. I tried
Dillard Stevens
, this produced a few results, which was fortunate I supposed. I looked at a few of the hits and possible places an engineer might work. There was a Dillard Stevens listed at Penic Engineering in Leeds. Not really likely. Small chance of Dad being in England.

I googled myself:
Arizona Stevens
and
Princeton
. No hits. I didn’t exist. I held my breath. I felt the blood rush from my body. What was going on here? This was not a simple case of my mother
stealing
us and bringing us to California to live with her new man and his son. My past had been wiped. I needed to talk to Ariele again. I did exist, she knew me.

I could hear Ella’s door opening and her running toward my door.

“Arizona! Are you feeling better? She stopped short and stared at me. “You look awful!”

“Thanks, Ella,” I laughed. The bruises must look worse today. “Yes, I feel a whole lot better. What’s up?”

“Are you going to come to Grandma’s today?”

“No, I don’t think so. Like you said, I look awful. I think I’ll stay here and hang out with Kellan.”

“Kellan can come too,” she said sounding disappointed.

“I know, but I think its best Grandma doesn’t see me like this. She’ll worry too much, don’t you think?”

“I guess but we’ll miss you.”

I hugged her. She was ok, really, actually kind of cute at times. Harry, Mom and Rupert came in with a tray.

“Feeling up to some breakfast?” Mom asked, peering at my neck.

I was starving and my stomach positively grumbled at the smell of bacon. However, as I swallowed to test my throat, I wasn’t so sure.

“I’ll give it a try. I
am
hungry.”

“Are you feeling up to coming to Grandma’s?” Mom asked putting the tray down on my bed.

“Not really. I’m still a bit tired. I’ll hang out here with Gertrude and Kellan is coming over later at lunchtime.”

Rupert looked unsure, “I’m not happy about leaving you on your own. I can stay until Kellan gets here.”

“No, don’t be silly. Gertrude will keep me company. I’ll call you if I need you.”

They looked at each other uncertainly, but nodded and left to get ready to head off. They poked their heads into my room to said goodbye.

“Arizona, don’t go outside on your own. Gertrude has been walked. She won’t need to go out again until later. Call us if you need anything,” said Mom.

Ella added, “Don’t forget to throw a scarf around your neck before Kellan comes!”

It was ten thirty already. I took a long refreshing shower and washed my hair. I changed into dark skinny jeans and a chocolate brown hooded t-shirt. I added a leopard print scarf as an afterthought. Good suggestion from Ella – that looked so much better. I wrapped the scarf around my neck once and left the ends hanging in the front. After I had dried my hair and applied some lip gloss, I looked fairly presentable.

It was still half an hour before Kellan was due so I pulled on my Uggs and took Gertrude for a walk. It was cool but sunny and we stopped every minute or so while Gertrude sniffed at interesting smells and decided whether she wanted to add her own. What a strange little creature, happy as can be.

As we walked back to the house, I noticed that Kellan’s bike was already there and he was sitting on the porch waiting. My heart did a summersault. He didn’t look up. His eyes were closed as he absentmindedly strummed the strings of a wooden guitar. I stopped and stared at him and could have stood there forever, but Gertrude had different ideas. As soon as she noticed him her tail started wagging furiously and she sprinted across the lawn and launched herself at him. He fell backwards in surprise, laughing while trying to avoid the loving licks.

“Thank you Gertrude, thank you! I love you too.”

I walked over and sat down on the step beside him waiting for Gertrude to calm down.

He managed to cradle her in his arms and then turned to me chuckling, “I need another shower!” He stopped, noticing my mood. I was actually annoyed at Gertrude getting to him before me, honestly!

“How are you doing, Shrimp? You seem a bit solemn.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, ignore me.”

“You look great. How are you feeling?”

“Much better. Where do you want to head to?”

“I was thinking the lake if you are feeling up to it?”

I remembered the lake from the meteor showers. I assumed that’s the one he meant. I couldn’t recall any others. I nodded, but I wondered how my neck would hold up to the ride. I let Gertrude back in and went to get my helmet but Kellan stopped me.