Power of Attorney (13 page)

“Lol What r u wearing?” As trite as that opening line was, when he said it, it still got me hot. But then, he could probably say, “Pass the salt” and it would get me hot.

“A smile,” I typed back.  “And my suit.  I’m still at my office.”

“Anyone there w/ u?”

“Just me.”

“Call me.” Yes, he was being bossy again, but I liked it a lot more this time. He was right. Context mattered. My heart was thumping as I punched in his number. He picked up on the first ring.

“Hello,” I said but he was focused on something other than social niceties.

“Take your skirt off,” he said simply. I didn’t waste time being coy. I liked letting him be in charge and I was happy do whatever he asked. I tucked the phone between my chin and shoulder, stood up and undid my skirt, letting it fall around my ankles.

“I took it off,” I said and I heard his breathing pick up and I loved that I was turning him on. I felt more confident again and it made me feel
really
sexy.

“Are you wearing stockings like the other day?”

“Yes,” I replied seductively.

“And pretty little silk panties?” he asked thickly.

“Yes,” I repeated in a breathy tone.

“Take them off.” I steadied my breathing and slid off my panties, walking over to the love seat against my office wall. I stopped to lock the door just in case. Walking in on this might
really
confuse Jaya, should she come back for something.

“Okay, I took my panties off and I’m reclining on my loveseat. Would you like me to practice some self-love?”

“Yes,” he said sounding both amused and aroused.  “Reach down and touch yourself. Tell me how wet you are.”

“I want you to play too.”

“What makes you think that I’m not?” he asked and the image of him stroking himself made my pussy ache.

“Mmm. I’m so wet,” I said breathlessly.

“I’ll bet that your clit is swollen. Rub it.”

“You’re rubbing your cock?” I asked as my fingers happily obliged.

“Yes,” he answered thickly.

“Are you thinking about fucking me?”

“Yes,” he said again, more emphatically. My fingers circled my clit deliciously and I spread my legs wider apart imagining him pushing that hard cock up inside me.

“Oh baby, I wish you were inside me,” I said with a moan.

“God, I want to fuck you so much.”

“Oh yeah.” I was already getting close. I couldn’t believe how turned on I was. I was soaking wet and moving rapidly to the edge. “Jacob, I’m going come.”

“Me too.” He sounded like he couldn’t hold on another moment.

“Oh! Oh God.” And then I came hard, shivering with sensation as my pussy pulsed and pulsed, spreading warm relief and intense pleasure throughout my body. 

I heard him groan and breathe out heavily and I knew that his ending had been happy too.  We both stayed like that without saying anything for a few moments, just listening to each other’s breathing return to normal. And even though, it had just been phone sex, that moment felt sort of intimate.

The feeling grew even stronger as we spent another half hour the phone just talking. It wasn’t awkward at all. It felt warm and natural. We made each other laugh and traded banter like we had known each other much longer. We really did have a similar sense of humor and it seemed that we also shared a fundamental sense of integrity. We both believed in justice.

“Well, that was fun,” he said finally.

“Yeah,” I agreed with a laugh.

“We’re going to have to do the real thing soon, though.  I’m starting to get distracted at work.”

“You are?” I asked, trying not to sound actually
pleased
to hear that.

“Yeah, and I can’t do that. I have to focus,” he answered and my kite flew a little lower. One thing that hadn’t changed was that work was the priority.  Oh well. At least I wasn’t just a random piece of ass to him. That was something. And I had really enjoyed talking to him too. It just felt very natural and the more I got to know him, the more he interested me.

***

T
hree days and one misdemeanor jury trial later, I was sitting at my desk again when Lena knocked on my office door and poked her head in.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, giving her a smile that slipped away when I took a good hard look at her.  She looked pale and her nose was red and runny. Oh no. The Federal Bar Association Thanksgiving Social was tonight. Dana hated large social events and so she wasn’t going. Lena had been my date.

“I don’t feel good,” she croaked.

“Yeah, well you look worse.  Go home.”

“What about the thing tonight?”

“Don’t worry about it. I can go by myself.”

“Dana can survive a crowd for one night.” Lena popped back out and returned a moment later with Dana in tow.

“Oh God, I hate these things.  I never know what to say or do,” Dana said, sounding distraught.

“Lena, I am not making her go.  Dana, honey, tell her that it’s not just about socially awkward.  I know that noise that the noise bothers you and that you get disoriented in crowds.”

“She’s right, Lena. I feel exhausted afterward,” Dana said apologetically.

“I am a grown woman. This isn’t the prom. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, I’m really sorry, though.  I’m going home now to drink a bottle of Nyquil and sleep these germs off.  Remember, you don’t have to stay long.”

“Right,” I said reassuringly.

As she and Dana left I sat thinking.  It was the Federal Bar Association.  Jacob would be there anyway. I remembered how good he looked in a tux and I smiled.  Yeah, our relationship was physical, but we were friends too, right? Friends went places together.  Would it be
so
weird to ask him to go with me? I really had felt a connection with him the other night. Those last few moments had felt intimate. There was absolutely no reason that I could not ask him to be my escort at a function we both had to attend. 

Okay, I was going to do it.  I took a deep breath and picked up my phone.  I swear that I really
am
a confident woman, but I will admit that something about
this
guy made me feel like I really
was
asking someone to the prom. I gritted my teeth and punched in his cell number. He picked up on the third ring.

“Hey, what’s up,” he answered. That was different than his greeting last time.

“Hey, um I wanted to know if you could do me a favor.”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“I have to go to the Bar Association thing tonight and Lena was supposed to be my date but she’s really sick.” I swallowed and went on, trying to keep my tone light. “Dana really has a hard time at these big social events, and so I guess I’m going stag but I don’t know all that many people yet.  I just wondered if maybe we could go together?”

There was a moment of silence on the other end and in that moment I knew that this was going to be a very difficult night. A lump started developing in my throat.

“Abby, I thought we were both on the same page with this,” he replied and my stomach got queasy. “I told you that I’m not looking for a girlfriend and you said you wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who worked as much as I do.”

Everything he was saying true, so why did it feel like someone had plunged a knife into my chest? I just felt so embarrassed and so rejected. I felt like I couldn’t breath and my face was burning up. An unpleasant tingle crawled down my arms and tears stung my eyes. I willed myself not to let them flow.

“I’m not asking you to marry me, Jacob,” I said in a tone a bit sharper than I would have liked. “I thought we were friends that’s all. I’m not Lena’s girlfriend and she was supposed to go with me tonight.”

“Okay,” he said hesitantly, “But people might talk about you and me going together. And I also pointed out that I wanted to be discreet.  If they think we’re dating, they’ll expect us to date. If they know we’re just fucking, they’ll judge.” 

Even though
that
too was absolutely true, the words “just fucking” took that knife in my chest and twisted it around a few times. It also threw a big wet blanket over my desire to ever make that fully happen.

“Technically, we’re not fucking,” I pointed out. “Didn’t your father ever have a talk with you?”  I knew that I sounded cold but his words were wounding me and my sarcasm was my only armor. There was another moment of silence on the line.

“Sorry, I didn’t know we were being technical.  Hey, listen I have to run.  I’ll probably see you later.”

With that he hung up. My mouth popped open. It felt like a slap and I wanted desperately to call back and say, “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad.  You’re right.”  And that made me angry with myself. After all, was asking him to fill in as my escort to a function we both had to attend really
that
bad?

More than anything though, I was angry at myself for letting myself become vulnerable. There had been flings before. That’s all we had in this relationship. It’s not like we were having deep conversations or connecting on an intellectual level every day. I didn’t even know where he fucking lived. So, why had I let myself think about him so much? And why did I let myself feel such a strong connection with him? And then I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I covered my mouth to muffle a sob and the tears flowed. I knew that I couldn’t go to thing alone now and I desperately needed comfort. When I needed support there was one place I could always turn.

M
y brother, Adam, came by to pick me up at 6:30 that evening. He looked very good in a tux himself. I had not planned to tell him what was going on, but he knew immediately that something was.

“Why were you crying?” he asked as soon as my apartment door closed behind him. I had done my make-up very carefully and emptied a bottle Visine into my eyes, so I had no idea how he had figured it out.

“What makes you think I was crying?”

“You’re my sister. We have a psychic connection.” He came in and sat down. “That, and your neck gets blotchy.”

“I had guy problems but they are all under control, so don’t worry.”

“You’re not pregnant are you?”

“No!”

“Good. Although I am wearing the right outfit to challenge someone to pistols at dawn,” he said looking down at his penguin suit.

“I was having a fling and I let myself get too interested. That’s all.”

“You should have known better. Chicks can’t handle flings.”

“What? That’s not true. I’ve had flings before.”

“No you haven’t. You’ve
dated
placeholders.  That’s different. A fling isn’t so much a relationship as just some hot sex. Women may
try
to just to keep it physical, but their emotions usually end up getting in the way.”

“Do guys ever have flings with women who they
could
feel something for?”

“Sometimes.  Could be that you really think a chick is hot, fun to be with, interesting, the whole nine yards, but the timing just isn’t right.  But see, guys can keep things in the fling category. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I hear what you’re saying,” I said sadly. Then something else dawned on me though. The timing wasn’t right for me to have a serious, potentially life-long, committed relationship either, and that really wasn’t what I was looking for.
Really
. I just wanted there to be a connection that was passionate but more than just sex.

“Isn’t there a way to have a relationship that’s physical
and
intimate, but where there’s no pressure and each person can do their own thing?”

“Yeah, those relationships exist, but I think they’re much more common when you’re over forty. By then you know who you are and what you want and you’ve got your own life.”

Personally, I didn’t feel like waiting ten years, but I reminded myself that I did have my shit together pretty well for a woman in her thirties. I guess I would just have to wait and see what happened. I reached over and gave Adam a big hug.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, hugging me back. “Now, let’s get going. I missed dinner.”

***

I
walked into the Bar Association event with my head held high and a smile fixed on my face. Adam made a beeline for the food table and I stayed close beside him. He was definitely a source of support. As he piled a plate full of enough food to feed a small nation, I casually looked around the room. When I finally spotted Jacob, I got a jolt, he was looking right at me. He took a step in my direction but at that moment Adam returned to my side and he paused.
Oh boy.
Even across the room I could see the emotions flitting across Jacob’s face.  He wanted to come talk to me, but he had known that I was upset earlier. He wondered if I told Adam. He and Adam already did not get along, and one thing he couldn’t have, was a “scene.”  He seemed to make up his mind and he gave me a small wave and a smile and then headed off in the other direction. 

And that was when I realized that I had underestimated him.  He did feel a connection too. I wasn’t just a booty call to him. Despite how he had characterized it, we really weren’t “just fucking.”  We were in the beginning stages of developing actual intimacy whether or not we attended social events as a couple. Intimacy was something that grew, not something that just appeared by assuming some status or taking on a role. I had taken him off guard earlier by suddenly trying to change the rules without discussing it with him first.  That didn’t mean that he didn’t want to continue to let things develop naturally between us.

I should have just come alone. I sighed.  Why did I seem to do everything wrong with this guy?  What was so different about him? I decided that I needed to talk to him but I didn’t want to cause tension him and Adam either. I needed a plan. I felt my purse vibrate and I opened it up and checked my phone. It was a message from Trog.

“I know who Deon is.” There was an address. A few moments later another message arrived, “Come alone.”

“What’s that about?” Adam asked.

“That client whose case I was working on with Jacob...”

“Jacob? He’s ‘Jacob’ now?” Suddenly a look of understanding appeared on his face followed closely by a look of anger. “Sachs! He’s the one? Et tu, Abby?”