Power Play [Pleasure Playground 2] (18 page)

"I'm so sorry,” she wailed.

He shook his head and began spanking her again. This wasn't about him; it was her. She had to get it all out once and for all. He wished he'd had the patience to wait till they'd returned home. A nice thick paddle or even a vicious little switch would be perfect right about now. He wanted to stripe her ass and leave her so sore that every time she sat down for the next two days, she'd think of what he'd done for her. He quickened his pace, making sure he hit with a precision that would sting, sending jolts of pain outward.

Minutes later, he sensed the change. Her body shook under the onslaught of full body-racking sobs. The kind born from deeply repressed emotions pent-up over long periods of time. His heart broke a little with each rough shudder, but this was what she'd needed. This catharsis to freedom.

When it was done, he caressed the red-hot skin for a long time while her sobs died down to small hiccups. “It's all right, sweetheart,” he cooed. He bent to bury his face in her hair and hold her as close as he could. His fingers traced the length of her arm and back again in a slow hypnotic pattern. When her breathing evened, he pushed his fingers between her thighs and along her wet slit. He throbbed for her, but he wasn't going to do this now. He'd take her home first and take care of her. Tuck her into bed, and then he'd fuck her.

And he did. Later as they lay twined together in the tiny bed of his guest bedroom, he relived the events of their night. The progress she'd made when pushed astounded him. Unfortunately, he had real doubts about her ability to move past this point and develop into a deeper relationship. And like it or not, that's where they were headed.

He ran his fingers through her soft hair, the need to touch her almost constant. Her breathing slowed as she faded into sleep. “You still drive me crazy,” he whispered into the night. “I'm just not sure that's enough with your past still hanging over you."

"What?"

Shit
. She was still awake. “Sorry, love. I was just thinking out loud.” He saw the instant his meaning clicked, and her mouth opened to say something he was sure he wouldn't like. He grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. After a few tense seconds, she relaxed into his embrace and some of the anxiety between them faded. He moved his lips over hers in a soft caress. Between anger and sadness, her body still responded to his cues. He wrapped his hand around her neck and held her still while he continued his erotic assault. When he finally pulled away, it only took one look to see she was now putty in his hands.

"Deny all you want, love. This ends tonight one way or the other."

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Jennifer walked into Altered Ego on Monday morning as if nothing had happened. At least as far as outward appearances went. Inside, her stomach threatened to revolt every few minutes. Why did she insist on dwelling on the bullshit? After the most amazing night of her life, she'd let insecurity come between them one last time when he'd expressed his concerns about her ability to make a long-term commitment, and it had been the last straw. Not that she'd waited around for him to cool down.

They'd had a simple agreement. Temporary. Instead she'd fallen for him hard. Weeks of buildup between them had resulted in an explosive few days that she couldn't get out of her mind. All weekend, she'd secretly harbored these ridiculous fantasies of her knight in shining armor coming to her door to rescue her. Or at least trying to salvage their relationship. No dice.

The door opened behind her, and she braced herself for Eve's Monday morning excitement.

"Are you okay?"

She jumped at the deep tone of Chase's voice. Since when did her boss show up at the studio this early? That's just what she needed. She wasn't quite ready to fake happiness with Eve, let alone a man who had an uncanny ability to see far beyond the surface.
Too bad, so sad
. She stood up straight and took several deep breaths.

"Doing great. How are you?” To her credit, her voice didn't waver.

Chase said nothing, and the silence stretched between them. She fought the urge to look over her shoulder and see if he still stood there. It didn't matter; she knew he did. There were times the man had an amazing amount of patience. Like when he waited for the perfect shot. Sometimes instead of taking one thousand pictures during a shoot, he'd watch and wait. Her body would cramp, sweat would bead across her brow, and still he'd wait. On days like that, after eight hours of work there might only be a dozen or so pictures, but each and every single one of them would be amazing.

Unable to withstand the pressure of his stare at her back, she turned. As she'd expected, he scrutinized her closely from his comfortable position of leaning against the wall. “Is that so?"

It sounded like a question, but she didn't think it was. Still she shrugged.

"Ready to come back to work?"

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know he meant modeling. For so long it had meant the world to her to be the best damn fetish model in the business. She'd worked hard over the years, training and building up her endurance. Until Daegan had come along, she'd had her schedule filled with jobs and had been damn happy about it. She'd been right to call him the devil. The man came in like a whirlwind and turned her life upside down and shook everything loose.

At first she'd resented the way her body responded to him. He made her feel out of control, and it scared her. Although, somewhere along the line, her world changed. She'd planned to tell Chase she was ready to work again; instead, in that moment her future became crystal clear.

"No."

His eyebrows arched in question.

"I think it's time for me to move on from modeling."

Chase pushed off the wall and crossed the room. He cupped her chin and tilted her head until their gazes met. “I had a feeling you'd say that."

"You did?"

He laughed, releasing her. “Of course. I knew the minute you got a taste of something real, modeling would never be the same for you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Not at all. You were a damn near perfect model, Jennifer, but your heart needed something else. Someone else."

She smiled at his assessment. “No. It's not about someone else. It's about me. I've spent my entire life hiding with my clothes off. I don't want to hide anymore. Daegan may not love me back, but he taught me that it's possible."

The corners of Chase's mouth quirked in an almost smile. “Love, huh? I expected as much. And Eve damn well drove us mad with her insistence on the matter."

Jennifer cringed. Had she really let the love word slip? What an idiot. “I—uhh—I—"

"Don't be afraid of it, little rabbit. You can run, but it'll get you eventually. Trust me. Now what are you going to do about it?” he asked.

"There's nothing to be done. I screwed up, and even my attempt to fix things went sour. I think it's time to start something new with a clean slate."

"You are nothing like her, you know."

Jennifer froze, a sudden chill sweeping over her. She didn't have to ask; she knew exactly who Chase meant.

"The physical resemblance is minimal. Every once in a while when I catch you in the right light, I think you look like her. Any other time the thought doesn't even cross my mind."

A slight tremble shook through her. “Please don't.” She didn't want to talk about Daegan's dead wife anymore. The whole situation had gotten blown out of proportion, she knew, yet she'd allowed the niggling at the back of her brain to ruin everything.

Chase continued, “Beyond that. It's like seeing the difference between night and day. Claire was a selfish woman who took advantage of every opportunity she could."

"That sounds like personal knowledge."

"We were all in college together. Daegan asked her out the night he met her, and Claire, well, she didn't think he was good enough for her, so she turned him down. Until she found out about the money."

Jennifer blinked. “The money?"

Chase paused. “Daegan didn't tell you?"

She shook her head.

"He inherited a huge fortune from his father just before we started college. Said fortune came with everything his family owned for generations, including a castle in Ireland."

Jennifer's eyes widened at the thought.

"Yeah, so he started dating Claire, and one thing led to another, and before he could see through her, it was too late; they were married."

She didn't think she wanted to hear more details. Leaving him behind was hard enough without any more information. “I don't think I need to know this,” she insisted.

"Of course you do. Part of your problem with Daegan is that you think he looks at you and sees her. You need to trust that he doesn't.” He paused and let that sink in. “Right after they got married, they began to experiment in D/s, and before long, they were heavily involved. Only Claire needed more than Daegan ever wanted to give. But she was his wife, and a Dom's responsibility is to give his sub what she needs. So he allowed her to evolve into a 24-7 slave. She expected Daegan to direct every moment of her day and then some."

Jennifer shuddered. She admired many a couple who managed that type of relationship, but no way in hell could she go for that. “I could never—I mean—why would he want that from me?"

"You're missing the point I'm trying to make. That's exactly what he doesn't want. But just because you can't be a slave master doesn't mean you can live without the whole thing. He is a Dom. He needs a sub, and you are the one he wants."

She violently shook her head. “You're wrong. He thinks I'm broken.” She didn't know how to let go of the emotions ripping through her.

"Honey, you're not broken. A little misguided, sure. Broken? No. Deep down you know exactly what you want. Otherwise you wouldn't be here telling me you aren't going to model anymore. As soon as you stop trying to analyze the relationship, you'll figure out how to make it work."

"But—"

Chase placed a finger across her lips to quiet her. “No more buts. Use that brain to come up with a solution. Do something unexpected.” He glanced around the room. “Now where's my Eve? I need something from her this morning.” Chase winked and wandered away, leaving her stunned.

Could he be right? She'd waited all weekend for him to come for her and got nothing. Did she dare reach out to him one more time? The submission she'd felt in the club and afterward had burned into her soul, never to be forgotten. What wouldn't she do for an opportunity to feel that again?

She missed him...

Maybe there were two devils in this playground.

Later that afternoon, Jennifer slipped into Daegan's quiet apartment. The scent of his skin assailed her senses. Wood and spice flooded her thoughts. No matter what happened, she'd forever associate those two smells with her week as Daegan's submissive. Her stomach knotted at the thought of only having those short memories to keep her company at night, instead of the real man. She glanced at the clock and calculated she had an hour tops before he arrived. The guest bedroom door had been closed, and she felt the lead weight of that statement. He'd closed her room. She ignored the finality of that gesture and hurried into his office.

She took a seat in front of the computer. After she powered it up, she navigated to her blog and began her next entry. A couple of years ago, she'd started blogging about her adventures as a fetish model, and she'd taken to the online journaling of her thoughts like a fish to water. Albeit not her more intimate thoughts. Now she'd have to change things up. She'd no longer be modeling, instead she had an all-new subject to blog about. She settled in to start.

For years I have come here and chronicled some of my experiences as a fetish model. You've learned firsthand about the complexities that go into a photo shoot and seen some of the more “real” photos. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, this blog has to change. I know this is going to come as a surprise to many of you, but you should know that I didn't come to this decision lightly. I am officially retiring from modeling, effective immediately.

Now before you start sending me your comments and asking me if I'm crazy, you should know this. Nothing bad happened that made me come to this decision. I still love modeling and am going to be forever grateful to Chase and Murphy at Altered Ego for giving me the big break I needed.

But my life has changed.

A week ago, I agreed to become someone's submissive. I took a step out of my safety zone that had far-reaching repercussions. Who at this point doesn't matter for the purpose of this blog. What matters is the what and the why in the outcome. You see, I thought I was simply indulging a fantasy. A temporary arrangement that would get it out of my system. Oh how wrong I was.

Jennifer's fingers flew over the keyboard as she poured her heart and soul into this blog post. With every sentence, more of what she'd experienced began to click inside her. Before she knew it, she'd written about three thousand words. She'd have to break this up into a series. She cut and pasted it into three documents and scheduled three different posts to go live over the next couple of weeks. With any luck, she'd be too busy to check her blog daily.

Time was running close. She quickly logged into her e-mail and pasted the link in an e-mail to text message. Daegan kept his CrackBerry at his side at all times, so if there was any way to get him to see this, this would be it. Her finger hovered over the Send button.
Please work. Please work. Please work
. She pressed the key and gulped for air. Her heart rate soared. Now the wait of her life would begin. There was nothing more she could do except get ready for his arrival.

The next part of her plan didn't exactly qualify as “crazy” as Chase had put it, but it was her best shot at effective. The blog post was daring, this was simply a gesture that had deep meaning for her.

She hurried into her bedroom and stripped. A flutter of nerves made her hesitate. The last time she'd done this, it had gone very wrong when someone other than Daegan had found her. Jennifer shrugged. It was simply a chance she had to take. She climbed into the bed and stuck her face in the pillow next to hers. She wanted to bottle that scent. If she did, she'd make a million bucks in a heartbeat.