Read Practically Perfect Online
Authors: Katie Fforde
WHEN THE BATH
was both empty and clean, Chloe filled it again and then went downstairs to make supper while Anna sat on the floor of the bathroom and read stories to the little boys. She was accustomed to small boys, having nephews, and enjoyed their choice of reading matter hugely. Eventually, when the littlest one showed signs of becoming drowsy, she whipped them out, one by one, and enveloped them in towelling. Then, as instructed, she sent them downstairs to sit by the fire.
By the time she had cleaned out the bath, collected the bath toys, done her best to dry the floor, and gone downstairs again, the boys were sitting at the table in their pyjamas eating spaghetti and meatballs.
‘We get a bit casual when my husband’s away,’ Chloe explained. ‘It’s better to feed them then bath them, but what with one thing and another, it just didn’t happen. It was very kind of you to read to them in the bath. I’d never thought of that.’
‘I have a couple of nephews and when I had them on my own one weekend, I discovered reading to them in the bath was a really good idea. And then we played dentists.’
‘What?’ Chloe handed Anna a glass of wine.
‘They take turns to lie on my sister’s bed, with the reading light on, and I say, “Open wide, E to E sound,” while I brush their teeth.’
Chloe regarded her sons, one of whom was sucking up
a
strand of spaghetti, the end of which had just flicked his nose. ‘That sounds a brilliant idea!’
Anna laughed. ‘I don’t think my sister was that impressed when she found toothpaste on her duvet cover, but she was so thrilled to find us all alive and well, she overlooked it.’
‘I think I’m really going to like having you as a neighbour, Anna.’
While Chloe tried out this new tactic in the tooth-cleaning battle upstairs, Anna stacked the dishwasher, wiped all traces of spaghetti and meatballs off the table, and then set it again, for their meal. She wouldn’t have told her sister unless given a truth drug, but she was as thrilled as Chloe to have such a jolly, friendly family living next door. It would make being on her own, on a building site, much more bearable.
Chloe came down and collapsed on the sofa. ‘Putting them to bed is so exhausting. Mike does it, when he’s home. He’s my husband,’ she added.
‘And he’s away?’ Anna asked.
‘Yup. He’s a consultant engineer and works abroad quite a bit. He’s due back quite soon, but you can never be sure how long a job will take. I used to go with him, before the boys came along.’
‘Do you miss it?’
Chloe considered this. ‘Not as much as all that. I miss Mike, of course, but being an ex-pat wasn’t all joy. Although I’d worked as a temp in offices all my life, it wasn’t easy to get work when they knew you’d be off soon. That’s how I met Mike,’ she added. She looked at Anna, retrospectively mischievous. ‘I was working at his office. We met in the morning, went out for lunch, and never went back! I felt awfully guilty, I usually took my temp work very seriously.’
Anna laughed. Although Chloe did a lot of talking she
was
fun, and could be a useful source of information. ‘So have you lived here long?’
‘Bruno – he’s the eldest – was a baby when we moved here. It seemed ideal for us then. Now, two more babies later, it seems a bit cramped.’ She smiled sleepily. ‘You wouldn’t tip a bit more wine into my glass, would you?’
Anna obligingly tipped.
‘It’s not that I’m an alcoholic or anything – or at least, I don’t think so – but it’s so nice to have company in the evening, and I never drink when I’m alone.’ Chloe sipped and then, as if going over old ground, said, ‘We’d move if we could afford to, probably, but it took all our money just to get our foot on the property ladder.’
‘You don’t seem exactly cast down by your poverty, if I may say so,’ said Anna.
Chloe laughed. ‘Well, no! Being broke can become an absorbing hobby and it makes you terribly resourceful.’ She undug herself from the sofa and crossed the room. ‘See this table?’
Anna nodded. It was holding a small table lamp.
‘Nappy box, with a cloth over it. But don’t look too closely – there isn’t a hem on the cloth.’
‘Wow! That’s such a good idea,’ said Anna.
Now she was on her feet, Chloe drained her glass. ‘I’m going to put the kettle on. Mike’s parents think I’m a terrible slut. They don’t think making furniture out of cardboard boxes is clever.’
‘I do, but I usually use something more substantial myself …’
‘You probably don’t have access to nappy boxes like I do.’
‘Well, no.’
Chloe frowned. ‘I did use cloth nappies as well, but when you’ve got three … So, coffee, tea, or hot choc?’
‘Coffee please.’
‘And grown-up biscuits?’
‘I didn’t know biscuits grew, I thought they just came the size they were always going to be.’
Chloe laughed. ‘You are funny. I mean biscuits I don’t let the boys have except for a treat. Too expensive.’
‘So why did you move to this area? Do you come from round here?’ Anna asked.
‘It’s more or less equidistant between the parents,’ replied Chloe as she filled the kettle, ‘which is a bit of a mistake, but I’d spent holidays here as a child and have always loved it. And I must say, although property prices are obscene, it’s a great place to live.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ Anna got up from the rather low armchair that was beginning to make her back ache and sat down again on something more upright.
‘Oh yes, it’s got everything,’ said Chloe from the kitchen. ‘Lovely countryside, views … a really good primary school, playgroups, things like that in the village. You probably know about the shop and the post office, but there’s a great market on Saturdays, although there’s another one in town, too. We have a pub that does really good food, a Chinese nearby—’
‘I know about that. There were menus from it stuck up on the wall in my house.’
Chloe smiled and rummaged in the cupboard for the grown-up biscuits. ‘And we’ve made some good friends here, all within pushchair distance, which is great when you go to dinner with each other: you just totter home on the stroke of midnight for the babysitter.’ Chloe stopped and sighed. ‘Sorry! I’ve completely run off at the mouth again. I do that. Mike’s always telling me off, but when he’s away I do miss adult company in the evenings sometimes. Feel free to tell me to shut up.’
Anna chuckled. ‘I wouldn’t dream of it! I wasn’t terribly looking forward to sitting on my own next door, and you’ve taken me in, fed me, got me drunk—’
Chloe looked shocked. ‘Surely not!’
‘Well, a bit tipsy then, but it’s been a lovely evening. Thank you.’ She smiled happily. Having Chloe as a neighbour was going to be a real boon. She was kind and funny and knew everything. It made her decision to buy the house even more right.
‘There’s your coffee,’ said Chloe, placing a mug of steaming black coffee in front of Anna. ‘Milk? Sugar? And have a biscuit.’
Anna helped herself as Chloe sat down on the rather uncomfortable armchair and put the plate of biscuits down on the floor beside her; there didn’t seem to be room anywhere else. She turned to Anna. ‘Aren’t you going to be frightened, sleeping on your own in that house?’
‘I don’t think so,’ said Anna. ‘But I never have lived on my own, so I might be.’
‘I was always hopeless before I had the boys.’
‘Who protect you if the bogeymen come?’
Chloe laughed and shook her head. ‘No, but they’re company, all the same. You should get a dog.’
‘A dog?’ That didn’t seem terribly practical in a tiny building site of a cottage.
‘Mm. I’d have one like a shot if the house wasn’t so small and I didn’t have three children.’
Anna looked around the room. ‘Yes, I did notice quite a lot of pictures of greyhounds.’
Chloe nodded enthusiastically. ‘I think I must be the only person who works at rescuing greyhounds who hasn’t actually got several herself. One woman I know has got four.’
‘Oh my goodness.’ Anna couldn’t help wondering if this was sensible.
‘Yes’, Chloe continued excitedly. ‘They’re very easy. They sleep most of the day, and only need quite a small amount of exercise.’
‘I see.’ Anna didn’t believe it for a minute.
‘In fact, I know of a greyhound that’s desperate for a home, right now.’
‘Do you?’ Anna’s dismay could no longer be disguised – it was horribly clear where Chloe was going with this.
‘Mm. The most lovely brindle bitch. Her owner’s going away, and if she can’t – or we can’t – find a home for her, she might have to be put down.’
‘Couldn’t you have her to stay?’ Anna was positively alarmed now. ‘Just while this woman is on holiday?’
‘Chloe raised her eyebrows. ‘Have you ever seen a greyhound in real life? They’re enormous. This house is bursting at the seams anyway. We couldn’t possibly have a dog – at least, not a greyhound.’
‘Well, I’m afraid I couldn’t possibly have one either. I haven’t got floors in all the rooms, there’s only electricity in one room downstairs and I’ve only got a cold tap,’ Anna explained.
‘Then you’ll need a dog for company until things are a bit more civilised,’ Chloe said triumphantly.
‘I really don’t think—’
‘Honestly,’ Chloe wheedled. ‘You could just have her on trial. We’re between homing officers at the moment, but I’m sure if you and she got on, the new one would let you keep her.’
‘My sister would have forty fits!’ Actually, this made Anna a little bit tempted.
‘It’s nothing to do with her, is it?’ Chloe looked confused for a moment.
‘No, but that wouldn’t stop her telling me what she thought about it. She’s really put out that I bought a house so far away from her.’
‘But it’s a wonderful investment, surely?’
‘Oh yes, but she doesn’t want me to do it without her. We did up a place in Spitalfields together. We did really well, selling right at the top of the market, and I’m doing up next door with the proceeds. Or at least, the proceeds should pay for half of it, if it doesn’t go too badly over budget.’
‘Wow, all on your own. You are all on your own, aren’t you? You haven’t got a boyfriend?’
‘Nope.’
‘You’re so brave.’
Anna liked hearing herself described as brave even if it wasn’t how she always felt. Her sister’s ‘foolhardy’ seemed like a better description sometimes. She reached for another chocolate biscuit, and suddenly caught sight of her watch. ‘Gosh, its late! I’d better go home. It’s been a lovely evening though.’
‘Hasn’t it? I haven’t had so much fun in ages. And thank you so much for unblocking the bath. You must come and use it whenever you want to.’
When the last goodbyes had been said, Anna let herself into her own little house. After the warmth and life of Chloe’s, it seemed very desolate. The torch she used in order to get to the kettle sent huge shadows everywhere, and until Anna had plugged in an old Anglepoise lamp, she did feel that staying there on her own would be scary.
However, with more light, a hot-water bottle and all the blankets arranged over the sleeping bag, things looked a lot better. She had a portable radio to go to sleep with, so the only trouble was that she couldn’t put the lamp
near
the sleeping bag and the room seemed unbearably spooky with the lamp out.
In the end she found a tea light, put it on an old saucer and lit that. As she realised that she was like a child, afraid of the dark and needing a night light, she thought that perhaps a dog was not such a bad idea after all.
Chloe knocked on Anna’s door at half past nine on Monday morning, holding two mugs of coffee. ‘I’m so sorry to call on you so early, but I was dying to see the house. Bruno’s at school and I’ve just dropped the other boys off at playgroup. I wanted to come without them or I’d have been round yesterday.’
Anna chuckled at Chloe’s eagerness. ‘Quite right. It wouldn’t be safe for the boys just yet.’ And she was quite pleased that she’d had one more day of getting things vaguely organised before her first visitor. She took the offered coffee and sipped it. ‘That’s delicious. Come in.’
Chloe took the two steps that were possible before the floorboards ran out. ‘It could be lovely,’ she said eventually, not commenting on the fact that it was not in a state any normal person would consider habitable. ‘How on earth did you get a mortgage?’
Anna laughed. ‘A “walk by”. Fortunately the area is expensive enough not to need too close an inspection for the house to be valuable. And it will be gorgeous eventually. There are some joists that need replacing, then I’ll get the floorboards back down. They’re mostly lovely wide elm boards that’ll look gorgeous.’
‘There’s a reclamation place quite near,’ Chloe offered. ‘I could give you the address.’ She paused. ‘Why no staircase?’
Anna shrugged. ‘The people I bought the house from
took
it out to move it and then ran out of money. Or at least I think they did. Didn’t you know them?’
Chloe shook her head, clutching her coffee as if it was her last contact with civilisation. ‘They used to come down at weekends and rip things out. They didn’t seem to get round to putting anything back in.’ She teetered along a joist towards the back of the house. ‘This will be the kitchen, presumably.’
Anna nodded. ‘With double doors leading out to the garden. They’ve already knocked the wall down for me.’
‘And they got listed buildings consent? I’m surprised. They’re very fussy about this particular row of cottages. We applied to move an internal door and they wouldn’t let us.’
‘Oh.’ Anna’s enjoyment at showing her new friend her house dimmed. ‘I don’t think they were the sort of people who’d bother about things like that, were they?’
Chloe shrugged. ‘Two men, trying to make a quick profit – probably not.’
Anna chewed her lip and swore softly. ‘I really want to do things by the book or it can make things so difficult when you come to sell.’
‘You can apply for retrospective consent,’ Chloe suggested. ‘Perhaps you should go to the offices and ask advice.’
‘Mm. I might wait until I’ve got some floors before I start panicking about that sort of detail.’ Anna decided to worry about it later. ‘Are you OK with ladders? Would you like to come upstairs?’