Read Practically Perfect Online
Authors: Katie Fforde
‘Feed them first, definitely. There’s no point in washing them twice.’
‘True,’ Anna agreed, ‘but I think it might make them a bit late for bed.’
‘It won’t matter, I don’t suppose. Hey, guys,’ he said louder, and the boys, who’d lost interest in cooking and were now playing with their cars with ear-splittingly realistic sound effects, all looked up. ‘Have you got school, playgroup, nursery, anything like that, tomorrow? It’ll be Monday.’
‘I hope not,’ muttered Anna, ‘because if I had to take you, we’d have to walk.’
‘No,’ Bruno piped up, beaming. ‘It’s half-term!’
‘And Mummy was going to take us swimming,’ Tom added hopefully.
‘Well, there’s no way I’d manage that on a bicycle,’ said Anna. ‘Perhaps Alistair’s mummy could take you. If Alistair wanted to go.’
Caroline chose this moment to get up from her place on the hearthrug.
‘Oh no, now she wants to go out!’ Suddenly Anna
understood
why Chloe said she couldn’t manage a dog and children.
‘I’ll take her round the block,’ said Rob. ‘It’s my turn for a few adult moments.’
She smiled warmly at him. He was so good at being an uncle and she realised, worry about Chloe apart, she was enjoying this.
When he came back he gathered the children on to the sofa and read them a story, with all the voices.
Anna did a bit of washing up. How would it be to be part of a couple, who lived and had children together? She was happy in her life – she had everything anyone could need: a career, a dog, friends, family who loved her, a glamorous lover. Why was she hankering after mundane domesticity? She stifled a sigh that was nearly audible. It was hard to admit it, but being a proper couple would be lovely.
‘Hey ho,’ she said out loud. ‘I think the sauce is nearly ready. I’ll just put the spaghetti on. I don’t suppose any of you lot want to set the table?’
The boys regarded her indignantly. ‘But we’re having a story!’
‘Of course. Sorry.’ She’d heard Mike read the boys stories, but although he tried hard, he didn’t do it quite as well as Rob did.
Bathtime was noisy and meant that all the towels had to go into the washing machine after they had mopped up the large amount of water on the floor. Rob and Anna were both soaked.
‘I could probably rummage around and find a jumper of Mike’s,’ she said, looking at Rob’s shirt, which was clinging to him in rather a revealing way. It reminded her of the scene in the television adaptation of
Pride and
Prejudice
when Mr Darcy threw himself into the lake for no apparent reason.
‘My sweater’s downstairs. I’ll be fine. There’s a good heater in the car.’
‘Are you going?’ asked Bruno, although Anna wanted to know too.
‘I’ll wait until you lot are all tucked up and asleep, and then go. Anna will be here. Possibly for breakfast,’ he added. ‘Which makes you very lucky.’
‘Why?’ asked Tom.
‘Because people like having breakfast with Anna, at least I assume they do.’
Anna laughed. ‘Actually Alistair’s mummy will be here for breakfast.’
The boys, bored with breakfast when they were still full of spaghetti, started turning their duvets into tents.
‘None of that,’ said Rob firmly, ‘or there’ll be no story.’
‘But we’ve had a story,’ said Bruno. ‘Downstairs.’
‘I’ll read you another one,’ said Rob, ‘if you’re all in your beds before I can count five.’
‘Three! That was very good,’ said Anna. ‘Do you mind if I leave you to it and clear up?’
‘But you’ll miss the story!’ said Tom.
‘I’ll read it to her later,’ said Rob.
‘Oh goody!’ said Anna. She kissed all three boys goodnight, and went downstairs.
She had found an old newspaper and was doing the crossword when Rob came down. He sat next to her on the sofa so he could read over her shoulder.
‘Is that the cryptic one, or the quick?’ he asked her.
‘The quick one. We can do the cryptic if you like. This is last week’s paper so I don’t suppose anyone would mind.’
‘One across. “In favour of very old, good man becoming college head”,’ Rob read out loud.
They chewed this over in silence. ‘“In favour of …” Pro?’ said Anna.
‘OK, what’s a college head – provost! Well done!’
‘Well, you got the clue,’ said Anna.
‘Yes, but I wouldn’t have done if you hadn’t got the first bit,’ said Rob, taking the paper. ‘Let’s do another one.’
They had done a couple more clues when there was a knock on the door. Rob got up from the sofa and Anna was aware of a sense of loss. Doing the crossword together had been fun: cosy yet stimulating. She followed him to the door.
‘Sorry I’m so late!’ said a young woman of about Chloe’s age. ‘I’m Alistair’s mother, Susannah. Is there any news from the hospital?’
Realising that the relief babysitter had arrived, Anna passed on all the information she had about Chloe’s condition.
‘I don’t think kidney stones are fatal,’ said Susannah. ‘Just painful.’
Eventually the handover was complete and Anna, Rob and Caroline found themselves outside under the night sky.
‘You’ve been a real hero, Rob,’ said Anna. ‘The boys think you’re top banana.’
‘What?’ he asked.
‘It’s a family expression. It means good.’
‘That’s all right then.’ He peered down at her. ‘I enjoyed doing the crossword.’
‘Mm, so did I! I don’t often get very far on my own, but with the two of us – I mean, doing it with someone else—’
‘Two heads are better than one?’
Anna nodded solemnly. ‘In this instance, yes, but mostly, two heads are just freaky.’
He laughed. ‘You are funny.’
Anna chuckled. ‘As long as that’s not code for freaky, that’s fine.’ She paused, suddenly feeling awkward, unsure how to end a surprisingly enjoyable and intimate day. ‘I’ll walk down the lane to your car with you, give Caroline a chance to have a wee,’ she said at last.
‘Have you always used expressions like that or is living next door to small children having a bad effect on you?’
Anna smiled. ‘No, I think I’ve always been like it. Now come on, it’s way past Caroline’s bedtime.’
He pulled her into his arms and ruffled her hair. ‘Come on then, Bossy Boots.’ He kissed her cheek and then pushed her away from him. ‘Walk me to my car.’
Chloe returned at lunchtime the following day. ‘I feel such a fraud,’ she said, recumbent on the sofa, covered with the boys’ teddies. The boys themselves were with Alistair and his hardy and stoical mother. ‘It was such awful bloody agony, worse than labour, and then it went away. It came back from time to time, but I’ve got mega-strength painkillers if I get a twinge.’
‘You’re still supposed to take it easy,’ said Mike, standing over her.
‘I’m fine! Lapping up the attention and all the better for knowing your parents aren’t coming to stay after all. Now be a dear and make us a cup of coffee. I want to know how Anna got on with the boys.’
‘The boys were great! We had a super time.’
‘And you had Rob Hunter with you?’ Chloe’s expression took on the gleam of a true matchmaker.
‘Yes,’ said Anna cautiously. ‘We’d been to the country fair together and he stayed and helped me look after the boys.’
‘Oh?’
‘He’s very good with children,’ said Anna, trying to make Rob sound more like Mrs Doubtfire than Mr Darcy. ‘He’s got nieces and nephews. I met his sister.’
This sort of detail was meat and drink to Chloe. ‘Oh, what’s she like?’
‘Scary but nice. She’s very elegant and organised; everything I’m not, really. A bit bossy.’
‘Sounds like you, darling,’ said Mike, handing his wife a cup of coffee.
‘I’m not bossy!’ she said indignantly.
‘Of course not,’ said Anna, taking her cup. ‘But we love you, even if you are.’
‘So did anything happen between you and Rob?’ asked Chloe when Mike had gone off to collect the boys.
‘What would happen? I have a boyfriend, as you well know.’
Chloe snorted dismissively through her chocolate biscuit. ‘But you do like Rob, don’t you?’
‘Of course I like Rob, he’s a really nice guy, it’s just not like that. We’re friends, that’s all.’ She spoke firmly but wondered if this statement was as true as it had been.
‘But are you friends with Max?’
‘We’re lovers, what more do you want?’ Anna made a carefree gesture, hoping Chloe would stop her interrogation.
‘Being friends is important, too. Almost more important in some ways. You want a man who’ll be there for you in a crisis. Like Mike.’
‘You’ve got a diamond in Mike, Chlo, I’ll give you that.’
‘But have you got a diamond in Max?’ she persisted.
‘I don’t know! I expect so.’ Although Anna really wasn’t sure if this was the case. ‘He gave me oysters, and scattered the bed with rose petals.’
Chloe snorted again and started to choke on biscuit crumbs.
Anna wasn’t surprised to hear from Max the following day, especially since he’d known she’d been in the company of another man when he’d called on Sunday evening. But she was more shocked than surprised when she heard what he had to say.
‘Darling, I’m bringing Julian down next weekend. He’s very keen to see the house.’
‘Oh God, it’s not ready yet!’
He chuckled warmly. ‘I’ll give you until Sunday. We had a deal, remember? And afterwards, I want you to come and have tea with my mother.’
‘Oh?’ Her voice caught in her throat and came out as a squeak.
‘It’s ridiculous you and she living in the same village and not knowing each other properly.’
‘I have met—’
‘If you dress nicely and are very polite she won’t connect you with the greenhouse-cleaning incident.’
Anna hadn’t mentioned the jacuzzi incident, but at least for tea she wouldn’t be wearing a bikini, not if she ‘dressed nicely’.
‘So that’s settled then?’
‘Yes.’
‘Darling, you should sound a bit happier. I’m possibly selling your house for you and introducing you to my mother. It’s not everyone I do that for you know.’
‘Thank you, Max,’ said Anna, hoping she sounded suitably grateful, dying to get off the phone so she could do something, make some sort of plan.
She walked round her house, trying to see it as a buyer would. There was a staircase. There were floors. The attic
was
going to be a fabulous space, large for such a small cottage because it went from the front to the back of the house. The space for the bathroom was there, and the jacuzzi bath that Anna had suffered so much to buy was waiting for her in a warehouse. All she had to do was to make a phone call, and it would be delivered. She really had done a great deal in a very short time. She was proud of herself.
Then she realised how much there was still to do and went round to Chloe’s for proper coffee and comfort.
Chloe reacted with frightening calm. ‘OK, we’ll make a list of everything that needs doing.’
‘Well, there’s the decorating for a start. The end wall hasn’t even had an undercoat on it. It makes the room look so much smaller pink.’
Chloe shot her an uncomprehending glance and found a pad of paper that was only half drawn on. She selected a red felt-tip pen from those on the table and started a new page.
‘Decorate sitting room,’ she said, writing it down. ‘Though in my opinion it’s important to divide it up into smaller jobs, or you never get to cross anything off.’ She looked at Anna a little ruefully. ‘I always write “brush teeth” on my list so I’ve got a chance of doing at least one thing on it.’
‘Then there’s the bathroom. That jacuzzi is ready and waiting, although how we’ll get it up the stairs, God alone knows.’
‘It’s quite short, which is why you bought it,’ said Chloe, chewing the end of the pen.
‘I bought it because otherwise I’d have gone through all that torture for nothing!’ said Anna indignantly. ‘I’m not sure I approve of jacuzzi baths!’
‘Oh, don’t be so po-faced. It’ll be fab, add thousands to the value. Now what else?’
‘Curtains and carpets, where I haven’t got polished boards.’ She frowned. ‘Although I can’t possibly do that in the time. I’ll leave that. Then there’s the family bathroom.’
‘You wouldn’t have to plumb it in would you? Just put in the bath and stuff?’
Anna shook her head. ‘It won’t take long to do the plumbing, I’ve got the soil pipes.’
They discussed what else had to be done and then Chloe put the top back on the pen. ‘So that’s it then!’
‘No! Then there’s snagging!’ Anna was beginning to see Chloe’s point. There was no good writing ‘decorate house’ on the list or there’d never be a point when she could say she’d done it, not before Sunday anyway.
‘What’s snagging?’ Chloe asked, taking the top off her pen again.
‘It’s all the little things, like bits of skirting that haven’t ever been put on, bits that need fixing,’ Anna explained. ‘That usually has a list of its own.’
Make snagging list
, wrote Chloe.
‘It’s no good, Chlo. I can’t do it!’
‘Yes you can. We have the Sisterhood to help us.’
‘Who are the Sisterhood?’ Anna looked at her friend in bewilderment. ‘Chloe, if you’re a member of a secret sect or a coven, I really wish you’d told me. A little witchcraft could have come in very handy.’
Chloe made a gesture with her hand that indicated Anna was an idiot. ‘I don’t mean anything like that! I just mean I have lots of friends who would absolutely love to come and help.’
‘But why should they? Why would they want to work on someone else’s house? I can’t afford to pay very much.’
‘Oh, it’s not about the money! It’s the fun! They won’t
want
money. A few bottles of wine and some fish and chips or a Chinese will be more than enough payment.’
Anna didn’t want to offend Chloe but she was doubtful about the thought of drunken amateurs splashing paint about her perfect house. ‘But Chloe, the details are very important. It would be better for the job to be unfinished than finished badly, really.’
‘Trust me! I’ll only ask careful women who do their own decorating.’
‘But where do they come from?’ Anna was imagining an army of women with their heads tied up in scarves, wielding mops and buckets like something out of an Ealing comedy.