Preda's Voice (Guardians of Vaka Book 1) (16 page)

39

L
aney was curled up in the fetal position. Jim had deposited her in a bed in a room by herself, but she couldn’t even remember being picked up. The last memory she had was watching her parents as the oncoming rush of Soundless cut them down.

It had happened so quickly and efficiently. It was as if they were nothing more than weeds. All she could think about was how she didn’t get to say how much she loved them back when they had called out to her at the meeting house. A fresh well of tears was building like a dam about to break. Then she heard a soft knock on the door. She couldn’t bring herself to respond, and she just closed her eyes against the outside world. The door slowly opened, and someone walked in. Laney kept her eyes closed and pretended she was asleep. She couldn’t bear to talk to anybody at that moment.

Someone sat down on the edge of the bed and gently brushed her hair back behind her ear. It was such a light, gentle gesture, Laney thought she was going to break into a thousand pieces, but she kept still. After a moment the person stood, walked over to the other side of the room, and opened a drawer in the wall.

Laney opened her eyes slightly and peered under her eyelashes to see it was Jim. Her heart caught in her throat. The Landi who had become famous after his assignment with Will and who had always carried himself like a Kait seemed to care about her. It didn’t make sense. She was just a Ceren who had never left an isolated island on a planet she didn’t belong to.

Jim riffled through the drawer and grabbed some clean clothes. The ones he was wearing were bloodstained and torn in several places. Laney hoped it was Soundless blood and not his own. She closed her eyes again before he turned around. He shut the door quietly as he was leaving and turned the light off.

When he was gone, Laney curled up into an even smaller ball, and silent, racking sobs overcame her. When she felt as if there couldn’t possibly be any more tears left, she let herself fall asleep.

Laney dreamed of a planet as she slept. It wasn’t Vaka, as it so often had been growing up. For the first time, she dreamed of a planet with white clouds, blue water, and penguins. She dreamed of Earth. It was the only planet she would ever have memories of with her parents. It was her home.

When she awoke, it was once again to the sound of knocking. It was not Jim’s quiet, polite knock but something more arrogant and insistent. Laney sighed and sat up. Her head was pounding with pressure, and she knew her face was swollen from crying. There was nothing she could do about it, but she combed through her unruly, curly blond hair with her fingers anyway. Once satisfied she looked like a person and not some stray animal, she stood and made her way to the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see a man wearing a scholar’s robe in her doorway. He was raising his hand to knock again. Laney thought she recognized him, but she couldn’t quite remember his name.

“I’m sorry to…uh…disturb you,” the man said when he appraised her current state. “Jim Landi said I could find you here. I know this is a bad time, but I really wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.”

“I’m sorry, Mr.—” Laney stopped, hoping for a name.

“I guess you wouldn’t remember me,” he replied. “My name is Artem Vank. The last we met in person, you were just a small girl. Time has gone by quite quickly since then, I’m afraid.”

“My parents knew you,” she whispered.

“They did,” he said. Genuine sympathy laced his voice. “That is precisely why I am here. May I come in?”

“Oh. Yes.” Laney could not believe she had left the man standing in the hallway. “Forgive me. I don’t even know if this is my room. Please come in.”

Artem chuckled softly. “It’s actually Jim Landi’s room. The poor boy didn’t know where else to put you. He’s been sleeping in a bed in the medical wing until you awoke.”

Laney blushed and didn’t know what to say to that. Artem pulled a chair next to the bed and indicated she should sit down on the bed. Before he spoke, his countenance became somber. Laney steeled herself for what he was about to say, but if it was about her parents, she wanted to know.

“Your parents never got the chance to tell you what I’m about to. Since I have been so involved, I feel I must be the one.” He sighed before continuing, as though this was painful. “Your parents loved you more than anything else on Vaka or Earth. You know that, right?”

Laney nodded in response. She did not trust herself to speak without crying. She could feel her hands shaking, but she didn’t know why she should be so nervous.

“Karn and Alis Ceren were not your biological parents, Laney. You are not Vakan. You’re human.”

Laney felt the edges of her vision go dark, and the room tilted on its axis before she gratefully slipped into unconsciousness.

40

P
reda opened her eyes slowly against the bright lights. When she could focus, her sight adjusted. She realized she was in a sterile white room with white lights. Fiver was nestled under her arm. Will was sleeping in a chair next to her bed, a bandage wrapped around his shoulder. His pants looked new and were a deep maroon color.

She hadn’t made a sound except for her head turning, but he seemed to immediately know when she was awake. Will’s eyes opened, and he sat up straight. It was so smooth that Preda started to question whether he had been asleep in that chair at all. He looked right into her eyes and didn’t say a word. It was as if he was getting all the information he needed without speaking.

“I’m sorry,” Preda said. It was all she wanted to say.

Will didn’t feel the need to ask her what she was apologizing for. He just tilted his head and replied sincerely, “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

It was ridiculous. Preda sat up straight, even though it hurt her head to do so. Fiver made a groaning sound. She felt as if the light in the room was stabbing her through her eyeballs. When she flinched at the pain, a tightness in Will’s expression told her he knew she had a headache. Preda didn’t think she’d ever get used to that. Will shook his head as if to clear it and looked down at his hands. He studied them and asked quietly, “Do you remember what happened, Preda?”

The events outside the
Feria
came back to her suddenly, and Preda’s eyes widened. “I killed all those people,” she whispered, horrified.

Will was quick. He didn’t let her continue. Despite the wound in his shoulder and the bandage meant to protect it, he had his arms around her before she could draw another breath. She was shaking, but his steady arms around her kept her from having a complete breakdown. She rested her head against his chest and counted slow, steady heartbeats until she calmed down.

Preda didn’t know how long they stayed that way. No one had ever held her like that before. Will gently let her go once he sensed she was calmer. He looked into her eyes and reassessed her mental state. Once he seemed satisfied with what he saw, he slowly got off her bed and sat back down in his chair.

“We will talk about what happened out there,” he said. “Just not today.” He looked as if he was considering something before he spoke again. “No one else knows.”

Preda sucked in a quick breath. “What do they think happened?”

“You mean, what
did
happen, Preda. The volcano that formed that caldera erupted again. This time it destroyed the entire island and any trace of our presence there.”

“It did?” Preda said. “I made that happen, though.” She looked at her surroundings again, and her eyes widened. “We’re on the
Feria
. We’re in space. We’re going to Vaka.”

They were not questions, but Will nodded in answer. Preda threw the covers off herself. She was grateful to find she was still wearing clothes, as dirty as they were. Without saying anything else, she got out of bed. She stood up too quickly, and her vision blurred for a brief moment. Will put his arms out to steady her and looked as if he was considering tying her to the bed.

She recovered quickly, though, and soon Preda had pushed past her guardian and was walking quickly down the corridor. Her bare feet slapped the smooth stone floor. She had no idea where she was going, but she felt as if she would know what she was looking for when she saw it. The one-eared cat was trotting to keep up with her, and Will followed closely behind.

Preda soon found the main corridor from which all the other arms of the ship branched off. It was disorienting coming from this direction, but she soon saw the one that led to the control room. She padded along and passed other Vakans on the way. Each time she passed people with her Kait trailing her, they stopped and stared. She left everyone she passed bowing in her wake.
That has to stop,
she thought.

Finally she reached the doors that led to the room she wanted. Before she stepped through, the cat yelled up at her and wove in and out of her legs. She groaned and bent down to lift him up. Once he was in her arms, he scrambled up to her right shoulder and balanced himself in a sitting position.

Preda glanced at Will. He had a crooked smile on his face. She imagined how she must look. She was definitely a mess, but now she had a cat on her shoulder. It was fitting.

Preda walked into the control room where the majority of Vank and Kait leaders were working. The scene on the screen before her almost caused her to lose her footing and fall. This was what she had needed to see. They were in space—unfamiliar space.

The planets they passed looked nothing like the eight in her solar system. They had already left Earth far behind.

Preda’s familiar life had been shattered. All she could absurdly think about was how she had once again missed takeoff—the most exciting part. Her eyes had been transfixed on the screen before her, and she had not noticed what was going on around her.

Everyone in the room was on bended knee and bowed in her direction—except Will. She looked up at him, and he started to lower himself. In a bold move, she grabbed his forearm and gave him a pleading look. He nodded quickly in understanding and did not pull his arm away from her until she let go.

Preda felt as if the air in the room sizzled in quiet expectation for her to speak. She could feel the familiar tingling in her feet, but she did not wish to use her voice in that way. She looked at Will and tried once again to ground her emotions in him. As soon as she did so, the world became clearer. The feeling dissipated. She felt as if this must be one of the purposes of a guardian. No one was around to tell her if she was right about that, but it felt right.

She used Will as her sink and addressed those kneeling in front of her. She could still think of only one thing she wanted to say. “I’m sorry,” she said. She meant it, and she projected as much. “If not for me, none of this would have happened. No one here would have lost loved ones today.”

A man only a few years older than she was, wearing black robes, lifted his head and spoke after she was finished. “This is war,” he said simply.

The straightforward statement rocked Preda.
What are they fighting for?
They are fighting for my right to exist.
She was determined in that moment to make it worth it. She decided she would become what they needed—even if she was not the best person for it.

Preda nodded in affirmation and repeated, “This is war.”

41

L
aney opened her eyes slowly and saw Artem Vank standing on the other side of the room, whispering to Jim. She immediately felt embarrassed and sat up too quickly, then tried to hide the wave of dizziness that followed.

Jim turned around and smiled. “She’s awake,” he said.

“I’m sorry. That’s never happened to me before,” she stammered.

“I should have known and prepared you better,” Artem said apologetically. “It’s my fault.”

Laney had many questions, but she didn’t know where to start. How could her parents not have told her? Who were her parents? This entire time she had envisioned Vaka as her home. She had been living on her home all along. It was staggering. She started wringing her hands subconsciously. She knew she had picked up the habit from her mother.

“The reason I had to tell you so soon, Laney, is that we need time to run some tests on you. We don’t know how well you’ll adapt to Vaka,” Artem continued. “The atmosphere is similar, but the water has a different mineral composition entirely.”

“Is that why my father was meeting with you?” Laney asked quietly.

“Yes,” he said, sounding a little surprised. “You are very observant.” After a moment he continued. “I’ve been working on a filter for you to use for drinking water. If it doesn’t work, though, we might have to think of other ways to maintain your hydration.” He paused and then chuckled to himself. “Apparently I have to also account for a cat’s hydration needs.”

Artem might have seen humor in this situation, but this was serious. Laney was on a one-way trip with the only people she had ever known. The reality of her situation started to sink in, and she felt her heart rate speed up. There was no going back. She was human, and she was going to an alien planet. It felt as if it was getting harder to breathe.

Jim sat down next to her on the bed. He tentatively placed his hand lightly on top of hers. Laney looked up at him, and he gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s OK,” he said. “We’ll figure this out.”

Laney immediately felt herself calm. She knew Jim was just being nice. He probably felt sorry for her. It didn’t matter, though. He made her feel as if she wasn’t alone. She looked at Artem again and asked tentatively, “Who am I?”

She didn’t need to elaborate. He seemed to know exactly what she meant. “You are from Buenos Aires. When we were first fortifying Deception Island, we were woefully underprepared. We found we needed to purchase many supplies on the mainland of Earth. Your parents, being Ceren, were well suited to the task of staying unnoticed.”

“You mean because the Ceren are invisible,” Laney interjected. She found herself defending her family, even though it technically wasn’t hers anymore.

“Not exactly,” Artem replied, unfazed. “The Ceren are highly skilled at being underestimated.”

Laney immediately felt ashamed for rushing to judgment. Artem continued after a moment. “Your parents would frequently make trips back and forth on the
Ryndam
back then. They were invaluable to our cause.”

Laney felt a surge of pride for the people who had raised her. It was a bittersweet feeling tinged with regret at never having truly known who they were. She had never asked them about their pasts except for questions about Vaka. Her curiosity about the planet had been insatiable. Now she thought about it with only fear and trepidation.

Artem was unaware of her inner turmoil and continued. “They must have gone back and forth on that ship thirty times. The purchases they made could never be too unusual or large lest they draw suspicion. Our presence on Deception Island had to be kept completely secret from humans.”

Laney flinched at the word. It was often said with prejudice in reference to the tourists who would visit the island. They were naive to the world around them. This whole time Laney had been one of them.

“Well, it seemed your parents had a romantic flair back then.” Artem leaned back with a little smile on his face. “They would go dancing in the streets the nights they were alone in the city. Karn and Alis had always acted professionally around all of us. We had no idea, but they were quite the sensation together. They would dance salsa all night and entertain tourists with the best of the natives.”

Laney tried to picture her stern father salsa dancing in the streets but had a hard time doing so. She realized that her mouth was hanging slightly open in disbelief as Artem continued. “On a particularly clear night with a full moon bright in the sky, they found you. They were enjoying drinks outside a street corner café under beautiful string lights, and you were an infant crying in the night. A beautiful, young homeless woman had just given birth to you by herself in a nearby hospital. The doctors had sent her back out into the streets as soon as you both were ready. You were condemned to live the life she had lived. It would have been a hard road.”

Laney had a difficult time imagining what her biological mother must have been like. Her own mother, Alis, was beautiful and intelligent. Everyone had always said she was just like her. Maybe she was just like this woman instead—a street urchin.

Artem assessed her for a moment. “Your parents saw you both crying as she carried you in her arms. They were such loving people, Alis and Karn. They asked her if they could help. She told them she was devastated. Not for herself but for you. The orphanage in Buenos Aires was not the best place for a little girl to grow up. She felt it was the only way you would have a chance, though. She knew you were special, and you deserved that chance.” Artem paused. “Alis and Karn clearly felt the same way when they laid eyes on you,” he said quietly. “They told the woman they would take you in and raise you as their own. With the greatest love and sacrifice, your mother gave you up to them.”

Quiet tears streamed down Laney’s face. Jim was looking at her as if she was a porcelain doll who could break at the slightest touch. She quickly brushed the tears away with the backs of her hands and took a deep breath. “Thank you for that story,” she said to Artem Vank. “When can we meet to discuss how I am to survive on Vaka?”

“Tomorrow,” he replied and stood without hesitation. “I will find you. Get some rest.” As he was walking out the door, he turned. “Alis and Karn were so proud of the person you have become, Laney.”

He nodded once at Jim and then left. Jim was still looking at Laney sympathetically. She thought she might explode from the inside and swallowed back the torrent of emotions. “Where can I sleep?” she asked calmly. “I do not wish to take up your room the entire trip.”

“I’ll bring you to your family’s suite,” he said.

Jim dropped her off at the set of two bedrooms and shared living space that was supposed to be for a family of three, but he looked as if he didn’t want to leave Laney alone.

“It’s OK,” she said and smiled. “I’ll be fine.”

“OK. Well…let me know if you need anything,” he said awkwardly.

She kept smiling until the door was completely closed. Laney didn’t know what she needed. For her entire life, she had never known her true heritage. Now she was on a ship hurtling through space away from Earth—the only home she had ever known—and her new home, Vaka, might very well kill her.