Pregnancy Plan (23 page)

She scowled at him, her eyes full of misery,
but she didn’t answer. Instead, she shook her head.

“
You’re just tired. It’s been a long
day.” He rubbed her back and shoulders to ease her stress. He stood
with her in his arms and laid her back on the couch. “Why don’t you
lie down here for awhile and rest? John Paul and I can watch the
store.”

She closed her eyes. “Sure.”

Satisfied with her answer, Derek left the
room.

Maybe when she woke up, she’d be more
reasonable.

****

Haunted by velvet chains tying her in knots,
Jillian woke an hour or so later when she heard the door handle to
her office squeak. She opened her eyes, and caught Karen Ann
peeking in.

“
Come on in, I’m awake.” Jillian
yawned.

“
Are you okay? I heard you got a
little violent earlier.” Karen Ann stepped inside the office and
shut the door.

“
Who told you?”

“
Well, several people mentioned you
and Derek had a fight.” Her friend grinned. “And that you gave him
hell.”

Jillian brushed stray hairs away from her
face. “Anything else?”

“
Only that he didn’t want you to ride
in the parade and you took exception to the idea.”

“
Did they mention I jumped
him?”

“
Yeah, but I didn’t see any permanent
damage to the man.”

“
I wanted to strangle him.” Jillian
sat up, put her head in her hands, and rubbed her face. “I don’t
think I’ve ever been so angry in my life.” She looked seriously at
Karen Ann. “I wanted to kill him.”

Karen Ann grinned. “Well, now you know it’s
love.”

“
What? Are you crazy?” Jillian shook
her head. Wanting to kill him didn’t sound like love.

“
No. Don’t you remember what your
mother told us about how she knew she was in love with your father?
She said that once she got so mad at him, she wanted to kill him.
At that moment, she knew it was love. Otherwise she wouldn’t have
cared enough to bother.” Karen Ann pulled out the desk chair and
sat.

“
I don’t remember her saying
that.”

“
Yes, you do. Remember you thought you
were in love with Tommy Spencer. You’d been mooning around after
him for weeks. We decided to ask your mother if it was true love.
She said you would know it when it came along. Then she told us
about the time she caught your father drag racing, and almost
killed him.”

Jillian finished the story. “I remember now.
She said she gave my dad a black eye, and refused to go out with
him again until he promised never to drag race again. That was when
she said she knew she loved him. Otherwise, she said, she would
have just dropped him cold.”

“
Do you remember the rest?” Karen Ann
brushed lint from her jeans and peered mischievously at
Jillian.

“
No, what else?”

“
She also said that sometimes the
innocent have to forgive the guilty to have harmony in a
relationship. It’s taken me years to figure out what she meant.”
Karen Ann folded her hands together.

“
Good, so tell me? What did she
mean?”

“
I’m not sure I’ve got it right. But I
believe she meant that we have to forgive the ones we love, even
when they’re wrong, just because we love them.” Her friend’s eyes
shone brightly. “You love him, don’t you?”

“
Yes.” Jillian did, she just didn’t
want to be coddled anymore. “But why does he have to make me so
angry?”

“
I think, my dear, you answered your
own question.” Karen Ann paused then continued. “Because you love
him, he has the power to make you angry. It’s the paradox of a
loving relationship.”

“
I guess you’re right. But sometimes I
wish I didn’t love him so much.” Jillian stood and walked to the
door. “By the way, it looks like it’ll only be you and John Paul
riding horses in the parade. He has to check with his parents, so
if you can hold off calling your uncle until tomorrow, I’ll let you
know if he can do it.”

She strolled toward the front of the store.
Karen Ann wrapped an arm around her shoulders when she stepped
beside her. “I can wait until tomorrow. Do you still want to hand
out seeds?”

“
Yes, it’s good advertising for the
store. I’ll get the baggies stuffed with seeds and candy so that
they’ll be ready to go for the parade.” Jillian glanced around the
store for Derek or John Paul.

“
Why don’t you see if Michael wants to
ride? That way there can still be a Wilson to represent the store,”
Karen Ann suggested when they reached the counter.

“
That’s a good idea. I’ll call him
tonight.” Jillian hugged her best friend and ignored her husband
who was standing behind the counter. “Thanks for being a
friend.”

Karen Ann waved and stepped to the door.
“I’ll see y’all later. Goodnight, Derek.”

Jillian glanced at the clock on the wall. It
was past closing time. “If you’ll close out the cash register, I’ll
lock up the front door.”

“
Already done, I just needed to put
this in the safe.” He indicated the cash receipt bag.

A twist of her wrist and the front door was
locked. Jillian tried to figure out how she'd handle the rest of
the evening. Resentment stilled dogged her over his high
handedness, and she wanted to avoid him but couldn’t. She turned
and started for the back of the store. Silently, they rode home.
She didn't have the energy to make conversation with a man who
didn’t want to talk.

As they entered the house, he paused. “What
would you like for dinner?”

She had no desire to be stuck in his
company. “I’m not really hungry. You go ahead and get whatever you
want. I’ll get something later. Right now, I want to call Michael.”
Not waiting for an answer, she marched out of the room without even
looking in his direction and stopped by the study to make her
call.

“
Hello.”

Glad to hear his voice, Jillian responded.
“Hey, Michael. How would you like to ride in the Labor Day
parade?”

“
You mean on horseback,” he
mocked.

“
Yes, that’s usually the way we do
it.”

“
Are you going to ride?”

Taking a deep breath, she answered. “No,
Derek doesn’t want me to with the baby and everything.”

“
Good. You have no business on a horse
in your condition.”

Angered by his support of her husband, she
pressed, “So how about you? Karen Ann and John Paul are riding.
Would you like to ride along and represent the store? Or is your
schedule full?”

“
Will it get you off Derek’s
case?”

“
Who says I’m on his case?”

“
Come on, Jillian. If he’s trying to
keep you from riding in the parade, then you’re all over his case.
That’s your special little project. Every year, you make a big fuss
about it.” Michael’s voice grated on her sensitive nerves. “You’ve
always said its good advertisement for the store but it’s only
because you want to be in the parade. Daddy let you do it because
you got such a big kick out of it, but he never thought it really
helped the store.”

“
Well, seeing as it doesn’t help the
store, there’s no point in your being in it.” She lifted the phone
away from her ear, ready to hang up.

“
Now don’t go getting all upset. I’ll
ride in the damn thing if it’ll make you happy.”

“
Don’t do me any favors.”

“
Jillian,” he started.
“I...”

“
Look Michael, I got to go. I’ll talk
to you later.” She set down the receiver.

Frustrated, she walked upstairs to the
master bathroom. Maybe what she needed was a nice long bath to
relax. She ignored the sound of the phone ringing.

Closing and locking the door to the
bathroom, she ran the water for her bath. There was no point in
getting upset. Michael had never understood how she felt about the
store, or the parade. It was just better to let the whole thing go.
The men in her life just didn’t get it.

The tub full, she sank slowly into the warm
water, and leaned back, hoping she could relax. But her mind
wouldn’t be quiet, it kept bombarding her with questions.

What did it matter if she rode in the parade
or not? It wasn’t as if she would get hurt. And what was this about
“not with her carrying his baby”? This baby belonged to her. Not
him.

Was the baby the only reason he claimed they
were married?

Was she just part of the package?

But if that was true, how could he make love
to her the way he did? It had been over six weeks since he’d gotten
home. Yet he still hadn’t told her that he loved her. Why couldn’t
he say the words?

The soothing water helped to relax her
muscles. Her brain fizzled with other questions but she was too
tired to let them bother her. She closed her eyes.

A knock sounded on the door. His voice
echoed through the wood. “Jillian, are you all right in there?”

She paused, uncertain if she wanted to
answer or not. A click sound and the key turn in the lock and the
door opened.

“
What are you doing?” She asked still
half asleep.

“
I was getting worried. You’ve been in
here awhile. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” His tone held a
note of concern.

“
I’m fine.” She leaned forward and
unplugged the tub.

Derek held a towel for her, and waited for
her to step out of the bathtub. He wrapped the towel around her and
hugged her close. Each pat served as a caress as he tenderly dried
her off.

She couldn't argue, the feel of his hands
too intoxicating to resist. Melting under the gentle invasion of
her senses, Jillian responded to his touch.

He led her into the bedroom, pushed the
large teddy bear onto the floor, and helped her into bed. His
goodnight kiss reminded her how good it felt to be held in his
arms.

When he would have risen, she didn’t release
him. “Don’t go, Derek. I don’t want to be alone.”

****

Derek only wanted to please her after the
fight they’d had earlier. He had changed while she was in the
bathroom and only had on a T-shirt and shorts. He threw both over
the chair near the bed and slipped into bed beside her.

Her naked body snuggled against his. He
could feel her lungs expand and contract. Soft, smooth skin lay
under his hand. The baby moved, shifting into a more comfortable
position. Everything he’d ever wanted lay beside him. His heart
swelled.

His mind worked through the earlier fight
with her. Somehow, he had set her off about that stupid parade. She
had gotten incredibly angry over it, and he couldn’t understand
why. Even after talking with her brother on the phone earlier, he
still didn’t get it. Michael said that it was important to Jillian
because it was her idea to help the store. But why put herself and
the baby in danger by riding a horse? It just didn’t make
sense.

Hopefully, she was just overly tired. She
did seem to be sleeping a lot lately with the pregnancy. He wanted
to understand, but he wouldn’t stand by and let her do something
stupid. His job was to protect her, and he couldn’t do that with
her on the back of a horse.

Unable to reconcile the problem in his head,
he waited until she fell asleep before heading back downstairs to
get something to eat. Jillian could be pretty determined when she
set her mind on something. A flicker of a prior fight flashed
briefly in his head. The lady could be downright stubborn. His
determination to protect her strengthened. He strolled out to his
workshop hoping the manual labor would help him relax. It didn’t.
Nagging thoughts kept buzzing around in his head.

Upon waking the next morning, Jillian
snuggled closer to Derek. The warm feel of his body next to hers
always sent a thrill through her. The coarse hair on his chest
fascinated her as she rubbed her hand over his muscles, firm even
relaxed in sleep. She enjoyed exploring his body because she could
do whatever she wanted.

He captured her roaming hand, and bought it
up to his lips for a kiss.

“
Good morning, sweetheart.” He drew
her over him. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“
Much better, thank you.” She didn’t
want to dredge up the sore feelings from the day before. He’d been
so gentle with her when she’d gotten out of the tub and had held
her until she’d gone to sleep. The man really did care for her. He
just wasn’t very good about expressing it in words. Her mother was
right. She did love him. The very sight of him could melt her
heart.

Filled with a need to express her love, she
began to bombard him with tiny kisses all over his face and neck.
He lay quietly beneath her, letting her have her fun. His hands
stroked her back while she nibbled the edge of his mouth. Her body
demanded she move, rolling off him, she stood up.

He grabbed her hand and stopped her flight.
“Where are you going?”

“
Sorry, love, but nature calls.” She
tugged her hand free and headed for the bathroom.

By the mirror on the way out of the
bathroom, she noticed the growing size of her stomach. The morning
sickness had abated, and she was feeling better except for being
tired. “I believe I’ve lost my girlish figure.”

He shook his head. “Heavenly goddess? Yes.
Girlish? No.” He grabbed her hand. “I like you just the way you
are. Now come here.” His eyes danced with desire.