Prescription for Desire (14 page)

He caressed her face, wiping the tears
from her cheeks. “But you’re crying. I can’t have my baby crying.
Tell me what’s wrong.”

She breathed in deeply. “When Howard
was killed, I was pregnant with twins. Soon after, I suffered a
miscarriage because I had fibroids, and they were growing right
along with the babies.”

“
Oh, Raven … I’m so sorry.”
He kissed her forehead. “Did you have the fibroids removed?” he
asked, touching her stomach. While it was flat overall, she still
had a slight bulge that showed up when she didn’t work out on a
regular basis or ate too many bad carbs.

“
No wait. The pill could be
making them worse.”

She shook her head. “There’s no more
fibroids and no pill. I just told you that because I didn’t want to
tell you all of this—”

“
Wait, I’m
confused.”

“
About a year after the
miscarriage, I decided to have the Uterine Fibroid Embolization
procedure to shrink the fibroids because I was considering using a
sperm donor. Anyway, I’m one of the small percentage of women that
could go through early menopause after having an UFE. I haven’t had
a cycle in two years, but I knew the risk I was taking. I figured
I’d be fine because I was a healthy thirty-something-year-old
woman.”

“
Well, maybe it’s PCOS, or
…”

“
You forget I’m a
gynecologist. I don’t have PCOS or any other infertility issue. My
best friend, Taylor is a fertility specialist in Atlanta and tested
me for every possible issue.”

“
Baby, I’m so sorry. I had
no idea. Did your husband know about the babies?”

“
Only my mother and Taylor
know any of this, and now you.”

“
Have you thought about
adopting?”

She chuckled sarcastically. “I tried
last year, but I didn’t qualify according to the agency because I’m
single with a demanding job that requires me pretty much on call
all the time. Babies don’t deliver themselves, and they come at
anytime during the day or night. I even suggested a live-in nanny,
but that was out of the question. Honestly, I’ve moved on from that
part of my life. I’m almost forty. What would I do with a baby
now?”

“
Love it and be the amazing
mother I know you’d be.”

She touched his face, and he kissed
the palm of her hand. “You’re so sweet. Thank you for listening to
me.”

“
Of course, babe. That’s
what I’m here for. You know you can tell me anything. I’ll always
be here for you, Raven.
Always
.”

She sighed and nestled her head on his
chest. Always was only three more weeks. Didn’t he realize
that?

Chapter Nine

“
All right, boys and girls.
When we’re on the van, we’re going to use our inside voices,” Raven
said. Ten of the children from the orphanage were lined up in twos
on the porch. Raven and Armand had volunteered to chaperone the
group on a field trip to The Children’s Museum, an experimental
museum where the children could use interactive displays that would
allow them to make believe they’re doctors, teachers, and broadcast
journalists, as well as other professions.

Loading the back of the van with their
lunches, Armand glanced up and smiled. Their eyes met briefly, and
a knowing look passed between them before she placed the focus back
on the children. Raven definitely had a way with them. Whenever she
came to the orphanage they bombarded her like they did him.
Especially Isabella and Israel, whom he was pleased had taken a
liking to her.

Their conversation about her
miscarriage had played in his head for the past two days. He’d
hated that Raven had to suffer through it without her husband, or
even the rest of her family knowing. He was surprised she hadn’t
told anyone else in her family, but Raven was the type to keep
things bottled in. Probably because, like him, as the oldest you
have to appear to be the strong one. He was glad she confided in
him, though. It seemed to have brought them even closer together.
She no longer had that faraway look in her eyes, and he hoped he
had something to do with it.

In less than three weeks she was
leaving. The thought tightened his heart. Even though they hadn’t
known each other long, he felt a connection with her that he
couldn’t explain. Now that he knew her deepest secret, all he
wanted to do was to protect her from any other hurtful episode in
her life. But how could he do that thousands of miles
away?

“
Ready?” Raven asked,
sticking her head out of the passenger’s side window, jarring him
from his thoughts. “All of the kids are buckled up.”

“
I’m ready, co captain,” he
said enthusiastically, walking around to the driver’s side.
“
Qué comience el
espectáculo!”
 
Let’s get this show on the road!

The children cheered as he
settled into the fifteen passenger van owned by the orphanage. Once
he turned the ignition on, Raven reminded the children of using
their inside voices. Armand’s mind wandered again as he glanced
over at Raven, who had decided to keep the children entertained by
reading the classic children’s book
Verdi
, by Janell Cannon. It was the
story of a baby snake that loved his yellow skin so much that he
didn’t want to grow up and become green.

Armand was impressed with how well
Raven got along with the children. She sort of reminded him of his
own mother: loving, but firm. Raven had to snap at two of the boys
earlier for arguing over a toy. She immediately nipped it in the
bud, and before long was playing catch with them. Afterwards, she
braided Isabella’s hair into a French braid and placed little pink
bows down it. He’d also noticed that, like his mother, Raven was
carrying a huge tote bag containing bandages, peppermints, wet
wipes, and Kleenex, which was the total opposite of the little
Prada purse she usually carried.

His heart ached at the thought of her
never having her own children. She was compassionate and nurturing.
Why shouldn’t she be blessed with children? She was a strong woman,
and even though she said she’d moved on, he was sure a part of her
would always long for a baby.

Once they arrived at the museum, they
decided to stay together instead of splitting into groups as
originally planned. While the children played make believe in the
different stations, Raven and Armand took pictures for Maria, who
loved scrapbooking everything the children did.

“
Having fun?” he asked
Raven, who was sitting on a bench near the kitchen center where
some of the girls were pretending to make dinner.

“
Oh yes, and the kids seem
to be having fun as well.” Her eyes scanned the area and she waved
at some of the children in the hospital station. They were wearing
scrubs and stethoscopes. It reminded him of when he used to dress
up as a doctor when he was a little boy, pretending to take care of
his parents and sisters.

“
Can you imagine someone
with this many children?”

“
Angelina and Brad come
close,” she replied. Standing, she took a picture of the children
in the court room where Israel presided as a judge. “And Josephine
Baker.”

He nodded. “Maria told me today that
adoptions are pending for Ramona and Jose. They may both be gone by
the end of next week.”

“
Well that’s good.” She
showed him the picture she’d taken, and they both laughed as Israel
kept banging the gavel on the stand. “Any news on the
twins?”

“
No. They’re such great
kids, but some people don’t want to adopt two children and Maria
refuses to split them.”

“
Hmmm … that’s too bad, but
at least Maria is honoring their grandmother’s dying wish. Isabella
and Israel are so close I would hate for them to be
separated.”

“
I guess you and Cannon are
close.”

Her smile widened. “Yes, we’re very
close. It was just us until Sean was born when we were four years
old. I love all of my siblings equally, but Cannon is my
confident.”

He hesitated. “And yet he doesn’t know
your deepest secret?”

She sighed wistfully. “No. He was away
in New Guinea on a missionary trip when it happened. He flew in for
the funeral and left the following week. I didn’t want to interrupt
him again because I knew he would’ve dropped everything and flown
back. However, I think he knows something, but he doesn’t question
me. Although, he gave me a dog upon his return.”

“
Awww … yes, your precious
Sahara.”

“
Yep. She’s my
girl.”

Isabella ran over in a white doctor’s
coat, wearing a stethoscope around her neck and carrying a
thermometer. “Look, Dr. Arrington. I’m a doctor just like
you.”

“
Yes you are, precious,”
Raven said, giving the little girl a big hug. “Are you going to
listen to my heartbeat?”

“
Yes.” Isabella placed the
ear buds into her ear, and Raven set the stethoscope on the
appropriate place. “Your heart is beating perfectly, Dr.
Arrington.”

“
That’s good to know, Dr.
Isabella. Let me fix your hair. The bottom of the braid is coming
loose.”

They stayed an hour longer before
heading to a nearby park that had picnic tables. There, they ate
their box lunches, which Raven and one of the volunteers had made
that morning and packed in the ice coolers. After lunch, the
children played for an hour before it was time to head back. On the
way, most of them slept from being worn out from a long
day.

An overwhelming peace arose in Armand
as he glanced at Raven, who was also dozing, and his eyes wandered
to the rearview mirror to observe the children. He’d figured one
day he would settle down with a wife and kids, and now sitting next
to Raven with the children in the backseat made him even more aware
of his future. It had always been in his plans, but first he wanted
to work with organizations such as Doctors Without Borders and
Doctors Unlimited. Being a military brat, he was used to traveling
around every three or four years to different places and having to
make new friends, or going for months without seeing his father who
was a Lieutenant General. That was a life he didn’t want for his
own family.

Even though he had just met Raven, a
part of him could actually see himself with her and a brood of
children. Maybe not ten, but definitely three or four.
Unfortunately, with her unable to become pregnant, he guessed that
wouldn’t be possible. However, he couldn’t imagine himself without
her despite the fact that she was leaving in a few weeks. Not being
able to have a baby wasn’t a deal breaker considering there were
other options.

“
Wake up, sleepyheads,”
Armand said as he turned into the driveway. After getting the
children settled in the house with some of the staff, he and Raven
retreated to the huge family room where oversized bean bags and
treats were set up for a movie night.

Laughing, Raven crashed on one of the
bean bags.

“
What’s so funny,
babe?”

“
It’s been a long day.
Whose idea was it to do movie night?”

“
Um … yours,” he reminded
her, settling on to a bean bag. “You picked the movie,
remember?”

“
Yep, and you’re going to
love my choice.”

An hour later the children
were back downstairs in their pajamas, eating fugazzeta and
watching
The Lion King
. Isabella had snuggled up next to Raven after Mufassa
died.

Armand leaned over and whispered to
Raven, “Why didn’t you tell me the father was going to
die?”

“
Are you crying?” she asked
softly, wiping her own tears and handing him a Kleenex.

“
No … but you still coulda
pre-warned a brother. That was cold-blooded what Scar did to his
own flesh and blood.”

“
Just watch the rest of the
movie.”

A few hours later, after all of the
children were tucked in, Raven and Armand bid their good-byes to
Maria, who was grateful for their assistance that day.

“
I’m so sleepy and I know
you are.” She rested her head on his shoulder, and he placed a
tender kiss to her forehead. “Are you going to be okay on the drive
back?”

He patted her knee as he
started the truck. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Besides, we aren’t
going back to
Ghilaua
tonight.”

She sat up with a questioning
expression. “We’re not?”

“
Nope. Since you haven’t
officially toured Buenos Aires, we’re staying at the Marriott Plaza
Hotel and touring the city tomorrow.”

“
Oh, Armand, that’s
wonderful.” She placed a kiss on his cheek and settled back on his
shoulder, sitting back up a second later. “Wait, I didn’t pack any
clothes or toiletries.”

“
Don’t worry, my dear. I
got that all covered. When you’re with me, you never have to worry
about a thing.”

*****

Armand was definitely right. When she
was with him, she didn’t have to worry about anything. Since he’d
entered her life, Raven’s mind was clearer and things of the past,
while still somewhat hurtful, were easier to deal with. He had
given her a new outlook on life, and she couldn’t be happier. She
just hoped that when she left, while it would be bittersweet, she
could easily move on. However, the thought of not seeing Armand
ever again tugged at her heart that was just starting to fully
heal.