Pressure Point (Point #2) (29 page)

“Tell me.”

After the epic blowup with Blake in New Point, I hadn’t called my mother. In fact, I hadn’t really told anyone except Violet because she called to ask how the trip went. Everyone in my family was wrapped up in wedding plans, and I didn’t want to take attention away from my cousin and his future wife with my drama.

“Blake and I are finished.”

“No,” she immediately responds vehemently. “That man is in love with you, Stella, I’ve seen it since the day I met him.”

I shift out of her embrace and run a hand through my messy hair. “What are you talking about?

“Wait,” she demands, flitting out of the kitchen and into the dining room. The bar cart clinks as she moves bottles around. Then she reappears, holding two tumblers of the Frangelico liqueur.

Tilting the glass to my lips, I let the hazelnut-flavored alcohol ease some of my tension.

“Since he came to dinner at our house. I saw the way that boy laid his eyes on you,
cara.
Pure adoration. Perhaps something came in the way of those emotions, but I know that he doesn’t want to lose you.”

“That’s what Zoe said, too,” I admit.

“Zoe!” my mother gasps. Her glass hits the counter with a clank as she crosses herself, muttering a prayer. “You haven’t told me.”

“I know, Mom, I’m sorry, but with the wedding…”

“My daughter puts everyone’s needs above her own,” Mom says sagely. “You’re my most precious,
cara,
of course, you should tell me when something troubles you.”

Realization takes over when I notice the pattern, pushing my feelings aside to comfort Blake and now, in my time of need, not turning to my mom. Foolish. Mom is my biggest advocate. “Blake didn’t tell Zoe about us for…basically our entire relationship up until two weeks ago. We were going to New Point for Zoe’s birthday; I was supposed to be her surprise. When we arrived –”

“Clinton Smith,” Mom interjects, this time taking a gulp of Frangelico.

“Yes, well, by the time we found Zoe, Blake must have forgotten that I was his girlfriend because he tossed me aside. He didn’t tell her that we were together when she asked why I came down to New Point.” I release a heavy sigh, toying with the rest of the story. “While he was ignoring me, I left New Point and took a train back to the city. We got into a fight; he said I was immature and basically selfish.”

“Hmm.”

My stomach wobbles anxiously, thinking of the next part of the story. “I haven’t heard from him in two weeks and then today Zoe sought me out. She’s in the city and we made up. Well, I don’t think we were ever fighting, but we’re fighting for the friendship that she once had. Zoe seems to think Blake wants me back.”

“Of course, he does,” Mom says with absolute certainty that I don’t share. “How could he not want my sweet Stella?”

Great question.

“Even if he does want me back, can I accept him? Anytime he gets scared, he shuts me out and it hurts. God, it hurts more than any other pain I’ve experienced.” There’s a throbbing in my chest where my heart is, each thump a painful reminder of Blake’s absence.

“Love is never easy,
cara.
When you find the right partner, yes, it’s magnificent. At other times, it’s challenge. Love is finding someone to stand by your side when you screw up, someone to prop you up when you stumble, and to understand and accept your imperfections. To the outside world, Blake’s the ideal man, but you know better. He’s real with flaws and pain, and he needs you,
cara.
That doesn’t mean that you need to put yourself aside but to recognize at times that you must tell him when
you
need him.”

I let her words roll over me. They’re a soothing balm to the ache in my chest, but it doesn’t leave me with an absolute answer. Just more questions: if Blake truly wants me back, will he ever seek me out?

Butterflies full of nervous energy begin building the moment that I get home from my mother’s home. Even though I’m not going to see Blake tonight, the thought of his house sends my anxiety into overdrive.

You can do this. He won’t even be there. Five minutes at his place to collect Zoe and Miles and you are out of there. Not a big deal.
Um, yeah, the pep talk is so not working. I throw on a sundress and sandals and jog out of my condo building. The walk between our homes is short, only ten minutes, and I’m coming close to his place when I spot them.

If my heart wasn’t in my throat before I got here, it’s surely lodged there now. My pulse launches into overdrive and my palms go sweaty. Blake and Cam stand outside the gate, talking. I’m not close enough to make out their words, but they aren’t moving. They’re chatting, both dressed for a workout in gym shorts, t-shirts, and baseball caps. Thankfully, thankfully,
thankfully
neither of them spots me from where I cower half a block away.

I’m not proud of what I do next, but my fight or flight response kicks in. What do I do? I take flight, walking quickly around the street corner. I yank my phone out of my purse and begin furiously texting Violet. The distraction doesn’t help. I still think that I could jump out of my skin if even a squirrel crosses my path.

Like a coward, I wait, eyes glued to the screen of my smart phone. One minute crawls by. Five minutes amble past slower than a three-toed sloth. Finally, seven minutes later, I peer around the corner and find the sidewalk in front of the house empty.

I push past the internal voice asking if Blake stayed or left with Cam and press my thumb into the intercom at the gate.

“Stella?”

“It’s me,” I say.

“Come in. We can take the car.”

I half expect Blake to answer the door when I arrive on top of the stone steps like he did the first time that I came to this place, but it’s Zoe who tugs the door open.

“Blake’s out of town?” I ask without preamble.

She doesn’t have the grace to look chagrined. In fact, my friend
grins
at me wickedly. “What can I say? I want you two together. You make him happy; he makes you happy. There’s not much more to it. Love conquers all and blah, blah, blah.”

Rolling my eyes, I close the distance between her and hug her. “He hasn’t contacted me in two weeks. I think it’s safe to say that he’s moving on.”

“Doubtful,” she hums. “It’s my estimation that he’s planning a big bang to get you back.” With that not-so-telling statement, she leaves me pondering what in the heck that could mean as she spins on her heels, heading toward the living room where I spot the same tall, dark-haired man that I saw at Zoe’s place in New Point. He’s gazing at her with unmasked adoration.

This is the positive, upbeat friend who I remember having. The sunny disposition is admirable, really, but I can’t fake my emotions. Seeing Blake reminds me that I’m a hollowed out shell of myself without him. I’ve lost my appetite and the comforting feeling of knowing Zoe’s back in my life for good.

No one likes a downer, so I do what I do best, affix a smile on my face and make sure everyone has a pleasant evening.

Meanwhile, I’m steeling myself with nerves because I know what I have to do as soon as Violet and Max have said ‘I do.'

I need to settle my outstanding feelings with Blake.

Blake

The door slams shut with a pathetic shutter. I’ve taken to letting out my aggression on inanimate objects like doors, punching bags, drawers, and Cam’s face when we sparred a little while ago.

“What did that door do to you?” Mile’s grinning, leaning against the kitchen counter with a beer casually dangling from his fingertips.

Eying him grimly, I get my own beverage from the fridge and pop it open before I answer. “This coming from the king of fucking up relationships.”

The guy has the gall to laugh, not upset by my insult in the least. “You’ve got me there.”

“It wasn’t all his fault.” Zoe appears, resting her cheek on Mile’s upper arm. I avert my gaze momentarily when he kisses her forehead, still not used to my sister sharing affection with a guy. “Something tells me with Stella, you were predominantly in the wrong.”

The beer offsets some of the heat building inside of me. It’s not because I’m angry with Stella. It’s an unfamiliar feeling. Shame. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I snap. Then, after a few cleansing breaths, “You’re right,” I say gruffly. “She deserves better than a self-absorbed prick.”

“You could never be a prick,” Zoe tells me tenderly. Knowing that my sister still holds me in such a high regard, despite my bad behavior, eases some of my self-loathing.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve tortured myself, running through my relationship with Stella bit by bit. What I found made me nearly sick to my stomach.

“I took her for granted,” I admit shamelessly. “Stella gave and I took. All this time we dated and I hardly asked about her work, her family. She gave everything I wanted, and I didn’t think to return her support.” I shake my head of the self-deprecating thoughts. They won’t get me anywhere.

“You’re going to fix this,” Zoe says, reading my mind.

“I’ve got some things in mind,” I confirm grimly, though my confidence isn’t as high as normally. “This self doubt thing is new to me. Even when I played at the freaking national championship, I just went into winner take all mode. When mom died and I became your guardian, it was like I knew exactly what to do. I didn’t have a fucking clue how to be a father, but I didn’t think for once second that I couldn’t do it. And now…I’m terrified.”

Before Stella came along, I’d never think to bare my soul like this to my sister or anyone, for that matter. Now, though, the thought of living without Stella scares me down to my core. If I hadn’t been so self-centered, I would be able to show my fear to Stella. Since she’s not around, I’ll rely on my sister for the first time. The roles are reversed and I’m thankful that at this moment I can lean on her.

“Stella’s the most forgiving, selfless person I know,” Zoe says, “And she recognizes that you are just as giving and wonderful.”

I force a weak smile. “Thanks, Cupcake.”

Zoe extracts herself from Miles’ embrace, rushing across the kitchen to throw her arms around me. “Thank you for talking to me like your equal.” Her voice is muffled by my t-shirt, but the words strike me hard.

I clear the lump forming in my throat. “You’re a good sister, Zoe.”

“And you’re the best brother,” she whispers back. I glance up to where Miles had stood before, but he drifted away at some point to give us privacy.

Good man.

“I love you, Blake.”

“Love you back, Cupcake.”

“You’ll get her back. Trust me. Remember though, as much as her selflessness is a positive trait, it’s something that you can’t forget, brother.”

She doesn’t need to tell me twice. Thoughts of my angelic Snow White twisted through my mind, and I know what I have to do to be in a relationship with her. Fuck, it’s actually simple.

Give and take.

Blake

“You’re pathetic, man.”

Tossing an empty water bottle in the direction of where Cam sits on the locker room bench, I don’t bother disagree.

Since I last saw Stella, I’ve done nothing but brood and plot. When I wasn’t doing one of those two things, I’ve spent all my energy thinking about my girl. God, I need her back. Cam practically dragged me out of my office an hour ago to exercise with him in the facilities beneath the Scrapers administrative offices. The fucker had me in a pair of skates, sending slap shots his way.

“Is the great Blake Campbell scared of the cute little Italian?”

“Dude, don’t.” There’s an air of finality in my voice, brokering no room for argument and Cam finishes applying deodorant and dressing.

Didn’t take much to get me back to brooding.

I thrust a frustrated hand through my hair still damp from the shower. “Look, I messed things up with her really badly and now I’m going to surprise her at a wedding with her entire family. Her dad, Carlo, might gut me, and if he doesn’t, her mom surely will.” Admitting fear is not something I’m used to, but I’m learning that to be in love means to be vulnerable. Can’t hide my emotions forever.

Cam nods like he understands, but there’s no way that he can get what I’m feeling. The guy’s never been in love; he has a different woman wrapped around his finger every other week. Kind of like I was until I yanked off my blinders and realized perfection was only a few feet away.