Pretty in Ink (Voretti Family Book 3) (26 page)

Had his parents ever felt this? This instant bond, this instinctive need to protect another, smaller person?
 

He couldn’t imagine it. He’d never looked into their eyes and seen anything but obligation.

He was different.

He’d convinced himself that the only way he could stop himself from turning into his own parents was to choose a wife who was already a perfect mother—his own hands-on tutor. But he’d already seen what a parent should be in the countless hours he’d spent at the Vorettis’ house. The rest of it, he was going to have to learn by doing. He and Liv would learn together.

“I should’ve told her I want her to have my babies. I should’ve told her I want to make one right now.”

“Babaga?” Becca looked alarmed.

“Relax, kid. I didn’t mean
right
now. I’d wait for your dad to pick you up first.” The heady adrenaline of his realization began to fade, and he sighed. “Not that it matters, because Liv isn’t going to let me anywhere near her.”

“Badada?” Becca asked. He was probably projecting, but it seemed like she wanted to know what he planned to do about it.

“I’m going to talk to her. As soon as I tell her what I’ve told you, everything is going to be all right.”

He really did believe that—at least, the logical part of his brain did. But he wasn’t feeling logical. He was feeling like a crazed caveman who solved these sorts of problems by throwing his woman over his shoulder and carrying her to the nearest flat surface.

He took deep breaths and reminded himself of the facts. Liv loved him. She wanted to have his children. She wasn’t going to leave him forever because he’d made one mistake. All he had to do was explain things to her.
 

His brain treated him to an instant replay of their last conversation, and his ribs clamped tight around his lungs. What if his mind went blank again? Liv wasn’t going to wait forever.

By the time Rafe picked up Becca, Caleb was pacing the house like a mental patient. The walls closed in. He couldn’t be here. Not without Liv.
 

He drove to her parents’ place, but no one was there. He couldn’t go back home, but he had no idea where to find Liv, and none of the Vorettis were answering their cell phones.

Back in his SUV, he shoved down the accelerator, not knowing or caring where he was going until he saw the gothic lettering on the sign.
Permanent Ink
.

The band around his lungs loosened. He didn’t need pretty words to convince Liv that he was committed to their family. What this problem called for was action.

As he strode down the sidewalk, toward the place where everything had started, he made one last call to Liv’s number.

“I’m heading into
Permanent Ink
,” he said to her voicemail. “If you want any input on what’s going on my arm, be here in ten minutes.”

W
HEN
OTHER
PEOPLE
had their hearts broken, they got to wallow. They spent weeks in bed, their faces puffy with tears,
Love Will Tear Us Apart
wailing from the stereo, losing ten pounds because they couldn’t stomach anything except the occasional dark-chocolate truffle.
 

Liv got thirty-six hours. She hadn’t even finished that first box of truffles when her mother swept into the room without knocking and yanked open the blinds.

Liv squinted against the sudden brightness. “Mom!”
 

“Enough moping. You have a store to open. Surely there’s some work you should be doing.”

That vague sense of dread that had been lurking in the pit of Liv’s stomach ever since she’d ended things with Caleb solidified into a concrete block. She’d been a total hypocrite, telling him to grow up and accept what he really wanted when she hadn’t even womaned up enough to tell her parents the real story about the tattoo.
 

It was time to come clean. No matter what the consequences.

“Actually, I need to talk to you about the store. I have something to tell you, and after I do, I’m pretty sure you’re not going to want to loan me the money.”

“You’re pregnant!” Mom slapped a hand to her chest, like she was trying to keep her heart from leaping through her ribcage. “Oh, Livvy. Couldn’t you have waited until
after
the wedding? You’ll have to marry Caleb right away, of course, and—”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Oh.” Mom sounded almost disappointed. “No, of course not. Caleb would never be so careless.”

“It’s this tattoo.” Liv jerked up the sleeve of the oversized t-shirt she’d stolen from Caleb. “It’s not Caleb’s name.”

Mom squinted at the band of ink, like she was waiting for some secret, hidden image to come into focus.

“I mean, it
is
his name, but I didn’t get it for him.”

“Of course you did. Why else would you have…” Mom sucked in a breath, finally getting it.

“I lied to you about breaking up with CJ. We were still together when I got the tattoo.” Liv focused on the Clash poster she’d stuck to the wall at age sixteen, so she wouldn’t have to see how disappointed Mom was. “And I was so worried you were going to pull my loan that I roped Caleb into this ridiculous scheme to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“But it didn’t stay pretend for long,” Mom said, completely missing the point.

“No. But I still lied to you. I don’t deserve that loan.”

“No?”

“I make bad decisions. You put your trust in me, and I let you down.”
 

“All of that is true. But you’ve also grown immensely. You’re on track to open your own business. You finally found a healthy relationship.”

Liv finally risked a glance at her mom. “In case you haven’t noticed, Caleb and I broke up. Actually,
I
broke up with
Caleb
. Another example of my great decision making. You and Rafe and Alex were right. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to make a real relationship work, so the second he gave me an excuse, I ran.”

“Then you’ll have to find a way to fix it.”

Mom said it like it was so simple. And maybe it was. Liv loved Caleb, so she would find a way to work things out.
 

“And I’ll be honored to loan you the money you need to start your business. I’m expecting great things from you.”

Liv toyed with the hem of her shirt. The offer was everything she’d thought she wanted, but it no longer felt right. She didn’t want anyone to give this to her. She wanted to earn it.
 

She met Mom’s gaze, managing a smile. “Thank you. Your faith in me means more than you know. But I can’t take it.” She hadn’t thought through the words beforehand, but as she said them, she knew they were true. “I need to be an adult. To prove to myself that I can do this on my own.”

“But I don’t want you to have to wait years and years. This is your dream. It’s what you should be doing with your life.”

“I’m not going to wait. I’ll just start a little smaller than I was planning. I have enough money saved that I can get a website up and sell my designs online. I’ll have to keep working at Hannigan’s for now, but it’ll be worth it.”

“I’m so proud of you, Livvy.”

Liv hadn’t realized how much tension she was carrying until it disappeared. She hurled herself against Mom’s chest, the way she used to as a toddler, when the feel of a parent’s arms closing around her was enough to cure any hurt. And, maybe, Mom’s hug had retained its power, because instead of dread, Liv felt a focused determination. She was going to find Caleb. They both had some growing up to do, but they would do it together.

“Now.” Mom let her go. “What’s that noise I keep hearing?”

Liv had to strain to catch the muted ringing. “It’s my phone.”

It’s Caleb.

She tore through her room, clumsy with urgency, finally finding the phone under a bolt of soy fabric blend she was experimenting with.

The second she made contact with the plastic case, the phone stopped ringing. According to the display, she’d missed nine calls from Caleb.

The voicemail indicator went on. She tried to play the message, but her hand slipped.
 

Mom had the phone before Liv could try again. “Here.”
 

Caleb’s low, deep voice filled the room. “I’m heading into
Permanent Ink
. If you want any input on what’s going on my arm, be here in ten minutes.”

Liv’s heart thudded dangerously. No! He couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t let him do it.
 

She shoved her feet into some flip-flops, ran one hand through the tangled mess on top of her head, and pulled on a sweatshirt over her outfit—yoga pants and Caleb’s shirt. This was no time to mess with a bra.

“Go!” Mom threw her purse across the room like it was a football.

Liv grabbed the woven hemp bag and raced out the door. “Don’t worry,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ve got this under control.” And she did. Because she had to. Because that was what adults did.

*

“Caleb Gavin Ward! Where the
hell
are you?” Liv stormed past the counter.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to go back there!” The pierced guy manning the register tried to cut her off, but terror speeded her steps.
 

“Caleb!”

“Liv?” called a voice from the far end of the hallway.

She hauled the door open. There was Caleb, in the same chair she’d sat on four and a half months ago. The tattoo machine was sitting on a side counter, already finished with its job, and the artist was applying ointment to Caleb’s bicep.

There were only three letters, but they were so big she had no trouble reading them, even from the doorway.
Liv.

“Holy crap! What did you
do
?”

He regarded her cautiously. “I love you. And I want you to have my baby. Maybe even more than one. We should probably see how the first one goes, but—”

“You stupid moron.” Tears pushed at her eyes, powered by so many different emotions she wasn’t sure if she was more angry or relieved. “You didn’t have to get my name tattooed onto your arm. You could have just told me that.”

“You weren’t answering your phone.” Caleb glanced at the reddish skin where he’d inked her name, and had the gall to smile.

“And you call
me
immature? What happened to ‘think before you act?’ ”

“Uh…” The tattoo artist backed away from Caleb. “I’m gonna give you two a minute.”

Caleb looked at her, all traces of laughter gone now. “I did think about it. Want to know what I realized?”

The door clicked shut.
 

The sound shocked her brain back into working order, and she realized a few things. She was alone with Caleb. And, with his bare chest and that possessive gleam in his eyes, he looked good enough to eat while she looked like she’d come off a week-long bender.

But he wasn’t looking at her like he saw wild hair and an outfit of questionable cleanliness. He looked intent. Hungry.

He moved toward her, his deceptively lazy gait setting all kinds of muscles into motion. Arms. Shoulders. Abs.
 

She swallowed. “That’s close enough.”

He stopped, but it didn’t matter. She felt the heat in his eyes.

Her whole body strained toward him, but she held herself back. He needed to tell her something, and she was going to listen.

“The truth is, I wanted your name on my skin. Because this is forever, Liv. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He met her gaze. Held it. “I’ve been living in the day-to-day for a long time. I didn’t want to think about the future, because I was afraid that if I did, I’d see my dad all over again—a distant, uninterested, neglectful asshole—but this time he’d have my face. The only experience I have with what a parent is supposed to be like comes from your family, so I’m going to have to learn as I go.
We’re
going to have to learn as we go. I still don’t know what my future is going to bring. But I do know one thing. It has you and me and the family that we’re going to make. So I want everyone to know that I belong to you. And you belong to me.”

The rough surety in his tone slipped through all her defenses. She belonged to him and he belonged to her. It was such a basic truth, she couldn’t deny it. Especially to herself.

One step was all it took to bring her body flush with his. “I’m yours.” She whispered the words against his mouth. “Always.”
 

And then she wasn’t talking anymore, because Caleb was kissing her, rough and insistent and sure. He took her whole body with his lips, changing her from the inside out. Making her his.

Forever
, he said, with his lips against hers.

Forever
, she answered.

*

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Liv grasped Caleb’s hand, trying not to hyperventilate. The vinyl chair was cold, the room reeked of antiseptic, and the idea that had felt so brilliant and simple thirty minutes ago, when Caleb had been kissing her, was now terrifying.
 

But wasn’t that what life was all about? Taking in the drop, but jumping anyway?
 

“I’m sure,” she said. “It’s only…I have this thing about needles.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me. You know that, right?”

She did, and it filled her up, warming her from the inside. “This is for me. I didn’t choose the letters they put on my skin the last time—not really. I need to make them my own.”

“Ready?” The tattoo artist asked.

“I’m ready,” she said. And she was.
 

The familiar buzz of the tattoo gun made her tense, but Caleb was there. He stared into her eyes, and she saw forever. A lifetime with him and the babies they’d make. Their family.

She kept her eyes open the whole time. She watched the artist bend over her arm, heard the buzz of the tattoo machine as the needles met her skin, adding to the design CJ had chosen for her until it was something completely different. Caleb’s name and hers, bound together in an infinity symbol.

The tattoo machine switched off, but Caleb was still there at her side. Where she knew he’d always be.