Pretty Little Dreams (27 page)

Luke sighs, “Angel, can I talk now?”

I place my finger over his lips, silencing him once more. “Just a minute. I want you to know that I know you love me. It isn’t a question of that. It’s a question of whether or not you can live with this. I’m a bit messed up. I tried, oh how I tried, to get back to normal. I really thought the best thing for me was to keep marching forward, to go as far away from it all as I could and hopefully, eventually, my fears would calm and my anxiety would lessen. Sometimes that worked – like dinner for example.” The memory makes me flash a smile, “But, honestly, that was so dumb of me. So short-sighted. Instead of lessening, everything just intensified. It’s been building inside of me, so much so, that at times, it was hard to breathe and I thought I might explode. Or worse.” I pause for a moment and take a deep breath. “I’m so sorry that I kept this from you. I should have told you what happened before I was ever even intimate with you. But I just couldn’t bring myself to. I was so afraid to tell you because I don’t want to lose you.”

“Livvie, I really need to tell you something.”

I keep going, determined to get the rest of this out, “As much as I love you, Luke, I know that it isn’t healthy to keep doing this to myself. I can’t keep living this way – I have to deal with this. Like it or not, this has affected me and it’s going to take time for me to work through this.” I take his hands in mine, “I love you and I don’t want to lose you. You’ve been amazing these past few weeks, and I am so in love with you. I’ve never loved you more. I promise, that I will find myself again. I promise that I will work through this, given time, and I will be the girl you fell in love with again. If you just give me a chance…” I stop, breaking off with a sob, the pain of these words catching up with me, surprised that I have the capacity to even produce more tears.

Luke places his hands on both sides of my face, waiting for me to meet his eyes.
Once I do, he gives me a small kiss on my lips. Another tear falls down his face, and the sight almost breaks me. I reach out and catch it with my fingertip, then bring it to my lips and kiss it. He kisses me again, this time, letting his lips linger on mine a little longer.

He removes his hands from my face, and takes my hands in his own, “Do you remember that day we were at the hospital and the police officers made us leave the room?
They said they had to ask you some questions in private.”

“Yes, I remember.
After you left they asked me-”

“They asked you if Deacon physically or sexually assaulted you.”

“Yes.
How…how do you know that?” I look at him confused.

“I had just gotten you back.
If I couldn’t see you with my eyes, I was going to make damn sure I could hear you instead. I left the room, but being the protective ass I can be, I didn’t close the door all the way and I heard what they said to you.”

My mouth falls open, “Wait… so that means…”

“It means that all this time, I’ve known.
I’ve known all along. Livvie, how could you think that I would possibly care about that? I love you. That means always and forever. It doesn’t come with a disclaimer. All I cared about the whole time you were gone was getting you back, safe and sound. I thought I would never see you again. I thought you were gone from my life. That things would never be as we both dreamed. You have no idea what that did to me. If that meant you had to sleep with the devil himself to keep you safe, and give you more time until you were found or escaped, then I’m glad you did it. If it meant keeping you alive and saving your life, then I would have been the first person to tell you to do what you had to do to stay alive. Whatever the fuck it took to bring you back to me, that’s all I care about, and that’s what you did. You endured hell so you could come back to me.”

“I can’t imagine how you must have felt when you heard that.”

“I’m not going to lie, it broke me. Not because you may have had sex with Deacon, and believe me I’m SO glad that didn’t happen, but because you were forced into that situation to begin with. On some level, I still blame myself that you were ever kidnapped, and I have my own issues to work through with that. Being with you and loving you, even after this, was never a question. Don’t you get it, Livvie? You’re it for me. You’re my
everything
. You say that you will get back to the girl I love, but baby, that’s all you’ve ever been. I wanted you to let me love you
through
this – and you have. I knew you would tell me when the time was right for you. None of the other stuff matters, all I care about is that you are here, in my arms, and that nothing ever hurts you like that again. Everything else? We will figure that out.”

“Luke, I love you so much.
Thank you for loving me. I’m the luckiest girl ever.”

“I love you too, angel.
So much. And we are going to get through this. Together. One day at a time.”

Epilogue

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

Olivia

O
ne day at
a time. Luke couldn’t have been more right about that. Some days, it’s minute by minute, and other days I don’t think about it at all. I look at my therapist and know it is due in big part to her. Dr. Helen Roberts has been my confidant, life saver, and my own personal champion. When the anxiety and memories become too much, she has given me tools to help me calm myself. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and it hasn’t been an easy walk – but it is a journey I’m determined to finish. With her help, and of course, with Luke’s.

“It sounds like those breathing exercises are really helping you, Olivia, and that your episodes are happening less and less.”

“Yes, I really am doing much better.
The medicine really helps with my anxiety and of course Luke is sometimes all the medicine I need.” I smile mischievously, making Dr. Roberts laugh.

“I have no doubt about that, but remember that while it is important to have your support from him and working through your couples issues is important, you need to continue to strengthen and get through this individually.
That’s how you will bring your best to your relationship with Luke. You are making tremendous progress, Olivia, you should be very proud of yourself.”

“I am, thank you.”
These past several months have been a mixture of difficult, and wonderful. For a long time, nightmares would wake me almost nightly such that I feared falling asleep. Even though Deacon is in jail, without bond, awaiting trail, I continued to have an irrational fear at times that he would come back. Luke and Dr. Roberts have really encouraged me to take everything one day at a time and to stop being so hard on myself. Luke even comes to couples therapy with me, insisting that this journey be one we go through together, side by side.

Thinking about him brings a smile to my face.
A knowing look crosses Dr. Robert’s face, “Well, that is all the time we have today, I will see you and Luke next week.”

“Okay, thank you very much.”
I stand, smoothing my black pencil skirt and balancing on my brand new Jimmy Choo heels. I’ve finally got my love for fashion back in full force. I’m blogging daily again, posting pictures of my outfits of the day, and have started writing for other magazines again as well.

“Oh, and tell Luke that I really enjoyed his column last week on your blog.
That tip about romancing a woman was great.”

I laugh, “I will tell him!”
Thinking about Luke’s new column makes me chuckle to myself. I love that he is so involved with what I do, so much so, that he wanted to contribute. ‘Luke’s Love Tip List’ has become a hit among my readers.

I give Dr. Roberts one more goodbye and head to my car.
The silk of my top sliding against my shoulders, the summer sun on my skin, the sound of birds in the sky, all make me smile and stop for just a moment and take in the beauty of the day. I continue to my car and feel my surprise quickly replaced with a moment of worry as I look up and see Pyper standing next to it. My steps pick up as I race to her, intent on making sure everything is okay. Pyper has no reason to be here. When Pyper finally sees me walking toward her, a smile lights up her face, which makes me instantly relax. She wouldn’t be smiling if she had bad news or something was wrong.

“Pyper!
What are you doing here? You’re smiling, so I’m guessing that means everything is okay, right?”

“Oh!
Of course everything is fine. I’m sorry I scared you. I’m just here to make a delivery.”

My brows furrow in confusion.
“A delivery?”

Pyper smiles wider and pulls a pink rose out from behind her back with a white note card and hands them to me.
“Here you go,” she says and then starts to walk away. I start to ask her what the hell this is all about but then she stops, turns around, and gives me a big hug. “I love you, Livvie.”

“I love you too.” My words are slow – confused.
“Pyper? What’s going on?”

“Just read the note.
And call me later, okay?”

“Okay,” I murmur absently as I look down at the note and see Luke’s handwriting.
I open the envelope addressed to me and begin to read.

“My life was forever changed the first time I saw you.
I think I knew at that moment that I would never be the same. Did I ever tell you that health class wasn’t the first time I saw you? No, it was at your locker. Locker number 1021. Already a fashion queen, you were standing there with Pyper, laughing at something she said. Your laughter drew me in like a bee to honey, and all I remember thinking was that I had to make you mine. Get in your car, and go to that locker. I love you.”

I don’t waste a moment, intrigued and excited by Luke’s note, I can’t wait to find out what he is up to.
I make the trip quickly and practically fall out of my car in my haste to meet him at my old school locker. I can’t believe he even remembered the number! I sure didn’t; only its location.

I enter the school, somewhat surprised the door is unlocked, since all are away for summer break, and make my way to the hallway where my old locker resides.
I notice a secretary sitting at a desk in an office off of the entry, she catches my eye and I see her smile slightly, seemingly acknowledging and expecting my presence. Curious. As I turn down the hall to where my locker was located, I’m disappointed that I don’t see Luke standing there. Instead, as I approach my locker, I see another pink rose, with a note taped to the front.

“Imagine my excitement, at finding out you were in the same health class as I was.
Teasing you, charming you, and asking you out daily became my mission. I never let the fact you said ‘no’ bring me down or deter me, because I could see the twinkle in your eye every time I asked. I knew it was only a matter of time until you gave in to my undeniable charm,” I laugh. “The day you said ‘yes’ was a day I will always remember. Go to the place you finally spoke that word.”

I put the rose to my nose for just a moment and take in its sweet scent and then walk down the echoing hallways towards the classroom that we shared for our health class.
While some things have changed, the old high school is much the same. As I walk, my memories continue. I remember his cocky smirk and the way our hands touched accidentally when he helped me with a chair. Shivers of excitement ran through my whole body at that simple touch, and now, years later his touch still emits the same feeling. I remember the surprise I felt the day I came to class, already prepared for his daily question of ‘will you go out with me’ but he did not ask. The memory makes me laugh now. Then, I was a bit disappointed. Once I reach the classroom, there on the door, is another rose, with a note.

“Aside from staring at you the entire hour of class we shared together, I think one of the things I loved most about high school was watching you cheer for me when I played football.
I would look over during the game, when I was supposed to be paying attention to the field, and see your hair glistening in the lights, and your cheeks flushed from the cold. You were so beautiful, it would take my breath away. If you caught me looking at you, you’d blow me a kiss and I could practically feel it meet my lips. Go there.”

I walk to the back of the school, increasingly captivated by this whole scavenger hunt, out the doors, nearly skipping towards the football field, hoping to finally find the man of my dreams.
This has to be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done. I feel so loved by him that it takes my breath away. When I reach the gate to the field, instead of finding him, I find yet another rose and note.

“While my childhood home is full of great childhood memories that I will cherish forever, there is one that will always haunt me.
Go to my house.”

I make my way back to my car and head to Luke’s childhood home.
A momentarily feeling of uneasiness and dread hits me. I haven’t been back since the day I left it…that day so long ago. Deep breaths. When I pull into the driveway, memories of that day assault my mind and attack my heart. I hear the dreaded words from his mouth spoken to his mother and see myself run to my car, eyes full of tears and stubbornness in my heart. How I wish I had done things differently. I park my car, and slowly, even reluctantly. get out. My anxiety is quickly relieved as I look towards the door with tear-filled eyes and see Luke’s father standing there, holding a rose, with a smile on his face.

“Olivia.
Long time no see,” his smile is warm and kind. And he reaches out to provide me an embrace.

“Mr. Easton, it’s so nice to see you again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I apologize that I haven’t had the chance to tell you sooner.” I graciously accept his hug and return one of my own.

“It’s okay dear, and thank you.”
He holds the pink rose and note card out to me and I take it from his hands. “He loves you so much, Olivia. The day he lost you… well I wasn’t sure if he would ever be the same. I’m so glad that you both found one another again.”

“Me too,” I whisper.

“I will leave you to read your love note.
Please come by again soon, okay?”

“I will, I promise.”

He nods, gives me a smile and walks back into the house. I open the note card from Luke, “While the moment I lost you here is one of my saddest, it is also significant and part of our story. I wish it had never happened, and I had not missed out on so much time with you, but I know now that we are stronger for it. Losing one another has only made us appreciate one another more. Now that we’ve found one another again, I know we will never take one another for granted, or do anything that would purposefully hurt the other again. The night I finally found you again, I will never forget. Go to Zero Gravity.”

I take one last look at Luke’s home and get into my car.
And smile. I drive across town, wondering if this will be my last stop, if he will finally be at the club. I want to kiss him. I want to tell him how much I love him. These reminders of our love, our story, soothe my soul. He excites me, he ignites me, and I want to show him.

When I finally get to the club, I practically run to its doors, eager to see the man I love.
As I go through the doors, I’m surprised to see shoes in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by pink rose petals and a rose with another note card.

Curiously, I pick up the card and read, “These shoes are the very ones you threw up on that night.
I couldn’t bring myself to throw them away. I had them cleaned and then kept them as sort of a memento. When I was in my office, looking down at the crowd, I remember my heart stopping when my eyes happened to fall on your face. At first, I thought I must be dreaming. Seven long years of imagining I would see you somewhere…and to see right here…in my place…to finally have it occur, well… I thought I might be seeing things. I slowly made my way down the stairs, never removing my eyes from the spot you appeared. When I saw those guys start manhandling you, I almost lost my mind. When I came close enough that I could reach out and touch you, I spoke your name. When you turned, and your eyes met mine for the first time in our seven long years of separation, the sight took my breath away. I imagined it so many times before – all the daydreams different, but of course, each one ending with us falling into one another’s arms. Never did I imagine you would throw up on me instead. To say that wasn’t quite the hello I was expecting is an understatement, but it truly was unforgettable. In that moment, I couldn’t have loved you more, and I was more determined than ever, to once again, make you my girl. Come to our tree.”

Tears are running down my cheeks and I clutch his note to my chest.
He wants me to go to our tree. Excitement fills my chest with anticipation. I know without a doubt, he will be waiting there for me.

When I arrive, I’m not disappointed by the sight before me.
Laying eyes on my love, I burst into tears. He has a blanket spread under our tree among the tall grass. There are pink rose petals everywhere. And Luke, he’s in the center of them all, down on one knee, with dozens of pink roses in his hands.

My hands cover my mouth and I stifle a sob at seeing him and knowing what all this has been about.
I can’t contain my feelings, not a second longer. I run into his arms, making him drop all the roses. With a surprised expression, he briefly looks at me before I practically knock him over. I laugh and so does he, the perfect sounding harmony of our voices ringing as one.

“YES!
YES LUKE! My answer is YES!”

Luke laughs so hard, “I haven’t even asked yet.”

My face becomes red as I pull away, “Well, your intentions were clear, I think and I reacted, I’m sorry!”

“I mean, I have a whole speech planned and everything.”

“Luke, I don’t even need to hear it. There is no convincing or speech needed. I was always meant to be with you, from the moment I met you. You have always been the only thing I’ve ever wanted. The only person that has ever made me feel the way that you do, the only man that I’ve loved with every single part of me. I don’t need a speech, I don’t need anything, Luke, but you. Always and forever, you.”

“I love you, Livvie.
So much. Will you marry me?”