Priceless (6 page)

The hematologist looked as if he wanted to say more, but he finally shrugged and left without another word. Some things just couldn’t be said aloud, even though they both might be thinking them. And no doctor ever wanted to acknowledge that a fight might be nearing an end.

A once-familiar sense of outrage and anger stirred in Beth’s chest. She needed to get back in the lab and look over the latest test results from her current research one more time. The first batch hadn’t held much promise, but this recent round was looking more hope
ful. She needed more time, dammit. More time to get it right, so she could help Tony and some of the other kids who were at the end of the line with current treatments.

She was at the door, about to open it, when Mack appeared. He took one look at her and steered her right back inside her office.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded at once. “Sit down. You look like hell.”

“Just what every woman wants to hear,” she muttered, even as she gratefully sank back onto her chair. The longer she could postpone seeing Maria and Tony, the better.

“I’m not here to flatter you.”

“Obviously not. Why are you here?”

“I just saw Tony. He’s not looking so good.”

Beth nodded. If it was apparent even to a layman, then her decision a few minutes ago was the right one. “He needs a transfusion to buy him a little time,” she admitted bleakly.

Mack looked stunned by the blunt assessment. “A little time?” he echoed warily. “What are we talking here, Beth? Days? Weeks?”

“No more than that.”

“What about the bone marrow transplant?”

“He’s not a candidate right now. It would be too risky.”

“You just said he’s only got a few days or weeks. Isn’t it about time to start taking a few risks?”

“There’s protocol,” she began, only to have him cut her off with a curse. She looked into his eyes and saw the same torment she’d been feeling before his arrival. “I’m sorry, Mack.”

“I won’t accept this.”

“We don’t have a choice.”

“I have a choice,” he all but shouted. “We’ll find another doctor, another treatment. That boy is not dying unless we’ve exhausted everything available.”

Beth tried not to feel hurt that Mack didn’t think she knew what was best, that he didn’t think she was up to the task of saving Tony. She understood the kind of powerless rage he was feeling all too well. If she’d thought for a second that another doctor or another course of treatment might improve Tony’s odds, she would have called for the consultation herself.

“Mack, right here at this hospital, we are his best hope,” she said quietly.

“But you’re giving up,” he protested.

“No,”
she said vehemently. “Never. I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“Damn being realistic,” he said heatedly, then sighed and gave her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t take this out on you. I know how hard you’re working on his behalf. I know how much he matters to you.”

“It’s okay. Believe me, I understand your frustration.”

“And I see now why you looked so beat when I got here.” He met her gaze. “What’s the plan?”

“A transfusion in the morning and then we wait to see if it helps,” Beth explained. “A little prayer wouldn’t be misplaced, either.”

Mack nodded. “Okay, then.” He held out his hand. “Want to go with me to pay Tony a visit?”

“I was on my way when you got here,” she said, taking his hand because right now she desperately needed the contact with someone who shared her dismay. She also needed the little spark that came with it,
the reminder that no matter what happened with Tony she was alive, that she would still be here fighting for other kids down the road.

Mack gave her hand a squeeze. “How about we take a little detour to the chapel on the way?”

She met his gaze. “You read my mind.”

It was a habit of his that she was starting to take for granted. Moreover, instead of making her uncomfortable, it was beginning to feel very, very good to have that kind of connection with someone.

“Dr. Beth’s really pretty, don’t you think so, Mack?” Tony’s huge eyes were focused intently on Mack’s face.

Mack tried to ignore the question. He wasn’t getting drawn into that discussion with yet another matchmaker. Instead he held up the assortment of comic books he’d brought with him. “Look at these, Tony. I had no idea there were so many cool new superheroes out there.”

Tony’s gaze remained unrelenting. “You didn’t answer my question, Mack. Don’t you think Dr. Beth is really pretty?”

Mack sighed. “Yes, she is.”

“Maybe you should ask her on a date or something. I’ll bet she’d go.”

Mack had enough trouble convincing Beth to slip out of the hospital for an occasional meal on the run. An actual honest-to-goodness date was probably out of the question. He didn’t want to ruin his image with Tony by admitting that, though.

Tony studied him worriedly. “She didn’t turn you down already, did she? Did you say something to make her mad?”

“No, kid, I haven’t bombed out entirely with the doc, but she’s pretty busy, you know. She has a lot of responsibilities around here.”

“I know. That’s why I think she needs a date, to get her mind off things, you know what I mean? Sometimes she seems real sad.”

“I’ve noticed,” Mack said. In fact, some days he wondered how she stood it. Today had to be one of the worst since they’d met. Even he was shaken by the grim outlook for Tony’s future.

Earlier, when they’d been on their way from the chapel to Tony’s room, she’d gotten a beep and had taken off at a run with a terse apology and no explanation. He was dawdling in Tony’s room now, hoping she’d eventually turn up. If that beep meant the kind of emergency he suspected, he thought she might be in need of some company this evening, maybe even another dinner someplace that wouldn’t remind her of the hospital.

He turned his attention back to Tony, whose energy had obviously faded. He was resting against the pillows, which were barely a shade whiter than his pale complexion.

“How are you feeling, pal?”

“Kinda tired,” Tony confessed.

Mack was taken aback by the rare admission. Usually Tony was all bluster when it came to his health. For him to admit that he was feeling tired meant he had to be exhausted. Mack recalled what Beth had said about a transfusion, but he knew the word on that hadn’t gotten to Tony yet.

“Get some sleep. You want to be rested when your mom gets here after work,” Mack told him.

“But you just got here,” Tony protested weakly. “And you brought all those awesome comics.”

“They’ll be here when you wake up, and so will I,” Mack promised. “Now close your eyes and take a nap.”

Tony struggled to keep his eyes open. “Hey, Mack.”

“What, pal?”

“Could you maybe sit here next to me?”

“Sure,” he said, lowering himself carefully to the edge of the bed. He’d noticed that too much movement seemed to make the boy wince. It was yet another sign that his condition was worsening.

Mack was barely seated when he felt Tony’s hand slip into his and hang on tight. Tears immediately stung the backs of his eyes.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “You can sleep. I’m right here.”

“Can I tell you something?” Tony asked sleepily.

“Anything, pal.”

“You won’t tell my mom or Dr. Beth?”

“No,” Mack promised.

“Sometimes I’m scared to close my eyes,” Tony whispered. “’Cause I’m afraid I won’t wake up.”

Ah, hell, Mack thought, blinking back tears.

“You don’t need to worry about that now,” Mack said, his voice choked. “Nothing’s going to happen while I’m here with you.”

Tony’s eyes blinked open and his expression turned serious. “It could, Mack. So if it does, will you tell my mom I love her?”

Mack struggled to maintain his composure. If this boy could lie here so bravely facing death, then surely he could give Tony the reassurance he needed to hear.
“I think your mom already knows that,” he told Tony. “But I’ll tell her.”

Tony sighed then and finally allowed himself to fall asleep, his hand still clinging to Mack’s.

And somewhere deep inside, Mack’s heart broke.

W
hen Beth finally finished dealing with the emergency that had sent her racing away from Mack, she felt as if she’d been through an emotional wringer. The young patient who’d come in with a severe reaction to her chemotherapy had finally been stabilized and sent to a room. Beth would have given just about anything to go home to her own room, to spend an hour soaking in a hot bath and then to crawl beneath the covers and sleep for a month.

Instead, she drew in a deep breath, steadied her nerves and headed to Tony’s room to break the news about the transfusion scheduled for morning. She was not looking forward to the meeting with Mrs. Vitale. Maria had had just about all the bad news she could handle lately.

As Beth turned the corner toward Tony’s room, she spotted Mack in the hall, shoulders slumped, eyes
closed. He was leaning against a wall, looking about as wiped-out as she felt.

“You okay?” she asked.

He blinked as if he’d been a million miles away, then smiled weakly. “How the hell do you do this every day?” he asked, his voice filled with respect.

Beth instinctively glanced at the door to Tony’s room. “A tough night in there?”

Mack nodded, his expression bleak. “You could say that. Tony asked me to tell his mom he loved her if he died during his nap.”

“Oh, no,” Beth whispered, her heart aching for him and for Tony. “I’m so sorry, Mack.”

“Don’t be sorry for me,” he said fiercely. “Be sorry for Tony. No kid should ever have to say something like that. He shouldn’t have that kind of weight on his shoulders. My God, how does he bear it?”

Beth put her hand on his arm, felt the muscle jerk beneath her touch. “I couldn’t agree with you more, but sometimes life simply isn’t fair or just. If you can’t accept that, then you’d better not choose medicine as a career.”

“Then you accept it?” he asked skeptically.

“I have to,” she said. “It’s not easy, but what else can I do? I have to focus on the times we win, not on the times we lose.”

“I don’t envy you. Compared to this, getting pummeled on a football field on Sundays was a piece of cake.”

She managed a weak smile. “Maybe I should give that a try sometime.”

He grinned. “I imagine you have some pretty tricky moves, Doc. How’s your throwing arm?”

“Like a girl’s.”

“Yeah, it figures.” His expression sobered and his gaze sought hers. “You know what else was on Tony’s mind tonight?”

She was almost afraid to ask. “What?”

“He thought I should ask you on a date.” Mack shook his head. “The kid is sick as a dog and he’s matchmaking.”

Beth grinned, despite the sorrow eating at her. “More proof that life goes on. Even a kid like Tony sees that.” She studied Mack’s tense expression and decided he’d gotten a whole lot more than he’d bargained for when he’d befriended Tony. “Tell you what. I’m going to break a vow and ask you on a date.”

Mack regarded her with surprise. “You made a vow never to ask me out?”

“I made a vow never to ask any man out,” she corrected.

“Any particular reason?”

“It tends to give a man the illusion that he has the upper hand,” she explained.

“And you don’t like relinquishing control?”

“Not especially.”

“But you’re willing to make an exception for me?”

“Yes, and don’t make me regret it by reacting predictably and letting your ego get out of hand. It’s dinner, Mack. Nothing more.”

Mack chuckled. “I think I can control my ego.” He gave her a thorough once-over with a devilish twinkle in his eye. “And my hormones, if it comes to that.”

She gave him a stern look. “You’re determined to cross a line, aren’t you? I could take back the invitation.”

“You won’t, though. You’re feeling sorry for me.
Besides, I’m not determined to cross any lines, just considering the possibilities,” he replied. “Especially since mentioning them has put some color back in your cheeks.”

Beth frowned at him, and he managed to look suitably chastened. It was probably an act, but she let it pass. “Okay, then. Can you stick around while I speak to Mrs. Vitale? Then I’ll take you someplace for dinner.”

He regarded her with a hopeful expression. “Home?” he inquired. “That’s where I feel like being tonight. Yours. Mine. It doesn’t matter. I just don’t feel like being around a lot of people.”

Beth totally understood what he was saying. Being under a microscope must be hard enough when life was perfect. Being subjected to scrutiny when you’d been through an emotional wringer as Mack had been tonight would be unbearable.

She tried to imagine what in her kitchen might be edible, given the way she tended to ignore things like grocery shopping, then nodded. “There’s bound to be something I can throw together that won’t kill us both.”

“Works for me,” he said.

“I’ll just be a few minutes.”

“Take your time.” He gave her a faint smile. “If you want to make Tony’s day, tell him you’re taking me home with you.”

Beth laughed despite the somber mood and her exhaustion. “I think that might encourage his matchmaking efforts a little too much.”

Mack was still a little stunned that Beth had invited him to her place. He must have looked like the emo
tional wreck he was if she’d felt the need to take pity on him. Despite the obvious reason for the invitation, he couldn’t help looking forward to the opportunity to get a look at where she lived and maybe discover a few more details that would tell him what made her tick. His curiosity about her seemed to deepen with each encounter.

A woman with Beth’s sort of dedication and commitment to her work, with the compassion to treat kids in Tony’s dire straits, was a rarity in his world. His admiration for her grew with every minute he spent around her and the kids to whom she’d devoted her life. He’d done his share of good deeds and small kindnesses in his time, but Beth did Herculean good deeds every day.

When she finally emerged from Tony’s room, she gave him a distracted look and beckoned for him to follow her. “We can get out of here as soon as I get my purse and keys,” she told him. “I’ll jot down my address for you.”

A few minutes later she gave him an address on the fringes of Georgetown. He had a hunch she’d chosen it less for the prestige of the neighborhood than for its proximity to the hospital and the short commute required in an emergency.

“See you there in ten minutes,” she told him when they’d reached her car in the hospital parking lot. Mack had insisted on walking her there, though his own car was in the visitor’s lot. She seemed about to say something more, then hesitated, her expression thoughtful.

“What?” Mack prodded.

“Just trying to remember if there’s any wine in the house. Probably not. If you want some, you’ll need to
stop and pick up a bottle,” she said as she got behind the wheel of her small SUV.

“I’m too wiped-out for wine,” he told her. “Unless you want some?”

She shook her head. “Not unless you don’t mind me falling sound asleep in whatever pot of food I’m fixing.”

He studied her weary, fragile features. “Look, Beth, I really appreciate the invitation, but we don’t have to do this tonight.”

“We both need to eat,” she said, sounding exactly like the dictatorial doctor he knew her capable of being. “Don’t dawdle along the way or I’ll make you eat spinach.”

Mack laughed. “I happen to love spinach.”

“Oh, my, your aunt really did train you well, didn’t she?”

“Let’s leave Destiny out of this. See you in a few,” he said, dropping a quick kiss on her forehead before closing the door of her car. “Drive safely.”

He loped out of the employee parking lot toward his own car half a block away feeling surprisingly energized all of a sudden, enough to motivate him to make a quick stop by the florist’s so that when he showed up on Beth’s doorstep he was carrying a huge bouquet of flowers.

As he rang the doorbell of her small brick town house, he realized he was anticipating the rest of the evening in a way he hadn’t looked forward to a date in a very long time. The knowledge that this impromptu date had been initiated by a woman to whom he supposedly wasn’t the least bit attracted didn’t seem to matter. Nor did the fact that sex clearly wasn’t on the agenda. He was content with the prospect of food
and some intelligent conversation, anything that might delay going home, where he was certain to be plagued by dreams about Tony’s sad situation.

When Beth opened the door, her eyes widening in delight at the sight of the flowers, Mack felt something shift inside him. He had the funniest feeling that few men had ever bestowed such a simple gift on her before, probably because they mistook her cool, professional demeanor to mean that she didn’t appreciate the more feminine pleasures in life.

“Oh, Mack,” she said softly, burying her nose in the flowers. “What on earth made you think to do this?”

“A gentleman caller always brings something for his hostess,” he recited, grinning at her.

“Remind me to thank your aunt for drilling those manners into you,” she said. “I hope I have a vase big enough for all these. Did you buy out the shop?”

Actually he had. The man had been ready to close and had given him a deal on all of the bunches that remained in the cooler. There had been lilies and roses, baby’s breath, snapdragons and some other colorful, fragrant blooms he couldn’t identify. Impulse had made him take them all. If anyone on earth deserved to be pampered a bit, it was Beth after a day like today. He only wished flowers could brighten his mood as easily. Better to concentrate on Beth.

He could think of all sorts of ways she ought to be indulged. Maybe he’d get her one of those spa days he’d heard women talking about, one with a facial, massages, wraps and who knew what else went on behind those discreet doors.

“Mack?”

“Hmm?”

“Where’d you go just then?” she asked.

“I got a little lost envisioning you in a seaweed wrap,” he said just to watch the color in her cheeks deepen.

“What an odd imagination you have,” she said, leading the way into the kitchen.

“Have you ever had one?” he asked.

“My time and my budget don’t really run to seaweed wraps,” she said, clearly amused. “Have you had one?”

He shuddered. “Hell, no, but I hear women talking about that kind of stuff. I thought you might like it.”

“Who knows? Maybe one of these years, if I ever get a whole day off, I’ll try one,” she said. “Seems like a waste of money to me.”

“Being pampered is never a waste of money, especially not with the kind of work you do. You need to take better care of yourself.”

She regarded him curiously. “Is this some new mission you’re on? It’s not enough that you cheer up Tony, now you’re intent on cheering me up, too?”

He thought about it and decided it was. It didn’t have to mean he was falling for her or anything. It was just common decency to worry about someone who spent her life worrying about others. “Yep,” he said. “I’m making you my project.”

“Don’t you have an entire football team to worry about? That’s what? Eleven men?”

He chuckled. “On the field at any given moment. There are a lot more on the bench. Remind me to get you a manual explaining the basics.”

“It would be wasted. Besides, you’re missing my point that you have your own responsibilities. Those should keep you busy enough.”

“Not the same thing,” he told her. “Besides, those guys have trainers who worry about whether they’re eating properly, getting enough exercise and generally staying fit. Who worries about you?”

She shook her head as she poured him a glass of iced tea. “I’m an adult and a doctor. I can pretty much look after myself.”

“But do you?”

“Of course I do.”

“When was the last time you took a day off?”

She hesitated so long, he knew she was having to really think about it.
“Ding,”
he said as if calling time in a game. “Too long. That must mean it’s been weeks, if not months.”

She frowned. “Actually I was off last Saturday,” she retorted, then sighed. “But I got called in around eleven-thirty and never got away.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You’re not invincible. What happens if you get so worn down, you get sick?”

“I don’t get sick.” She gave him an exasperated look. “I appreciate your concern. I really do, but it’s misguided.” She poked her head in the refrigerator. “Your choices are scrambled eggs or…” Her voice became muffled until she withdrew and gave him a chagrined look. “Or poached eggs or an omelet, assuming this cheddar isn’t too hard to grate.” She held up a pitiful-looking block of cheese.

Mack shook his head. “Where’s your phone?”

“Right behind you on the wall,” she said. “Why?”

He was already punching in a familiar number. “Do you have some sort of aversion to meat?” he asked her as the phone rang.

“No,” she said, regarding him curiously. “What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious? How about baked potatoes?”

“Love them.”

Mack nodded. “Hey, William, can you throw together a couple of filet mignons, baked potatoes with sour cream and butter, caesar salads and something decadently chocolate?”

“Absolutely, Mr. Carlton,” the chef at one of the Carlton Industries steak-house restaurants in Georgetown said at once. “Is this for your house?”

“No.” He gave the man Beth’s address. “Will a half hour be too much of a rush?”

“Of course not. I’ll send it right over.”

“Thanks, William. You’re a lifesaver.”

“It’s my pleasure, sir.”

“Oh, and one more thing, William.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Could you at least wait till morning before you call Destiny and tell her about this?”

“Sir, I do not report to your aunt,” the chef said indignantly.

“Not officially, no,” Mack said. “But she does have a way of wheedling information out of you, doesn’t she?”

William chuckled. “Your aunt is a very clever woman,” he admitted. “She does have a way of getting whatever information she wants. Most men find her irresistible.”

“Irresistible or not, try not to let her get hold of this little tidbit to chew on, okay? She’ll make my life a living nightmare.”