Pride's Run (18 page)

I take a deep breath, but can’t seem to fill
my lungs.

Needing escape, I climb to my feet. “I’m a
mess,” I say, in my most even voice. “I need to get washed up.”

Brittany glances up at me. “We found a nice
hot spring over that hill.” She waves her hands in the direction.
“It’s beautiful and warm. You’ll love it.”

I turn to go but she says, “Wait, let me get
you some clean clothes.”

She comes back within seconds and hands me
soap, sweat pants and a sweater. “These should fit. We look about
the same size.” I look her over and realize that she’s small like
me, but she doesn’t look like a runt at all. She’s cute, petite,
and quite appealing. Is it possible that others see my runt body
the same way?

“Thank you,” I croak out.

“My pleasure, Pride.”

With a knot in my stomach, I make a turn to
go but Brittany stops me. I turn back to her. “Great name by the
way.”

I smile, think of my parents, and vow to live
up to their expectations. “Thanks.” With that I make my way to the
hot springs, following her directions.

When I find it, I strip and wade out until
I’m waist high. I give a soft sigh and scan the tree line, my
senses always perked for danger. But the warm water feels so
glorious on my body it’s hard to concentrate. I spread my arms and
watch the waves ripple around me, then using the soap, I begin to
lather my grimy skin.

As I wash the dirt from my flesh, allowing
the sweet jasmine scent to fill my nostrils, I get the sense
someone is watching me. I turn and see Logan standing at the edge
of the pool.

Gaze intense and pinned on me, his eyes
glisten beneath the near full moon. My heart thumps fast as I watch
him. He doesn’t ask permission to join me. Instead he sheds his
clothes and stalks closer. A moment later he’s standing in front of
me, and as our naked bodies almost touch I note there isn’t a hint
of shyness about him.

I begin to cover my flesh, but he captures my
hands to stop me.

“Don’t,” he says, and the intensity in his
voice frightens me as much as it excites me. “You have no reason to
hide from me.”

A lump lodges in my throat and I have to
force my words past it. “Logan-”

“It’s okay, Pride.”

“Logan please…”

“Please what?”

“I don’t want you to see me. I’m…I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“I’m not like the others.” I steal a quick
glance at him and I know he can see right through me.

Anger moves over his face. “We all have
scars.”

“Not like mine,” I finally say. “I’m
not…right,” I say, not quite knowing how to say what I really feel.
That I’m damaged and unlovable.

“You’re wrong, Pride. What you are is
beautiful. Inside and out.”

I turn away, no longer wanting to meet his
eyes, no longer wanting him to see my body.

He takes hold of my elbow and turns me back
to him. “Pride, you have nothing to be ashamed of. We’re naked in
our wolf form, so why does naked in our human form bother you?”

“I don’t know,” I manage to get out. “Being
around you makes me so aware of my body.”

“Your female body is beautiful, Pride.” His
voice drops an octave when he adds, “And if you want to know the
truth, it makes me very aware, too.”

I look at him and can hardly believe what
he’s saying. A deep, strangled sound rises from my throat. “Why are
you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?”

He trails a hand over my arm and takes a
measured step closer. “Because we need each other.”

“But you’re an alpha. Alphas are never nice.
They control and dominate. You even said so yourself.”

“I have no reason to control or dominate you.
I want us to be equals.”

“Equals? How can we possibly be equals?” I
ask.

He gives a slow shake of his head. “You have
no idea how special you are, do you?”

My voice comes out a low strained whisper
when I say, “You must be mistaking me for someone else.”

“Oh, no, little one. Like I said before,
there is no one else like you.” His soft voice wraps around me and
holds me so tight it does the weirdest things to my insides.

I feel his fingers on my flesh and as his
hands trace my scars it produces an unfamiliar fullness in my
chest. I shiver, completely unnerved by his touch. But oddly
enough, this time I don’t find myself shying away from it, this
time I find myself leaning into it, needing it, absorbing it and
letting it fuel me in the most unfathomable ways.

His hair falls forward as his eyes track my
scars. Emotions move over his face and I wonder how this boy, this
skilled hunter can be so ferocious in the wild yet be so soft and
gentle with me.

“You’re beautiful, Pride,” he tells me again
as he takes the soap from me to wash his own body. “Didn’t you see
the way those guys were looking at you?” A slow grin turns up the
corner of his perfect mouth. “I thought I was going to have to go
feral and fight them off.”

A strange laugh rises in my throat. “I hardly
think…” I begin, but my voice fails when he leans forward and
presses his lips to the scars at the base of my neck. The warmth of
his mouth burns my blood. I suck in a sharp breath and try not to
explode into a million tiny pieces.

He traces my scar with his lips, the caress
meant to soothe the years of pain. “No one is ever going to hurt
you again,” he growls under his breath and to illustrate his
protectiveness he holds me tight. His glance moves over my face and
specks of pewter dance in his eyes when he says, “If they try,
they’ll have to go through me.”

A strange noise rumbles in my throat as I
gaze at him. I take in the fierceness in his eyes, along with his
vow to protect me, and in that instant it becomes glaringly
apparent that everything between us has changed. A shudder races
through me and there isn’t a thing I can do to stop the small
choking sound in my throat.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Not even a little,” I answer honestly, my
voice as shaky as my body.

“Come here.” He pulls me impossibly closer,
and hugs me to his body. Without conscious thought my arms circle
his waist. His muscles feel hard beneath my hands and I realize
it’s the first time I’ve touched his human body. As his scent curls
around me and draws me into a blanket of warmth my low howl breaks
the quiet of the night.

He presses his nose into my hair and pulls in
my scent as his fingers span the small of my back. This time I melt
into him because I’m so shaken I can barely keep my legs from
failing.

Everything in the way he touches me, and
everything in the way he looks at me has shattered my last vestige
of control and I know in this instant, life as I know it will never
be the same again.

A moment later a branch cracks, breaking the
spell, and we both tense. I turn in time to catch sight of a large
raccoon as it darts into the underbrush.

Logan clears his throat, and puts his mouth
close to my ear. My body tingles when he whispers, “We should get
back. It’s late and we need sleep.”

Since I can’t find my voice I simply nod. He
captures my hand in his and stays near as he leads me out of the
water. We dress in silence and I notice how close he stands to me
as we make our way back to the camp. When I see the small pup tent
set up especially for us, it occurs to me we’ll be sleeping in
tight quarters together—with both of us in our human form.

My entire body tightens in a way it has never
tightened before and a warm shiver of awareness hurries down my
spine.

I bite the inside of my mouth and slow my
steps. As I stall I become acutely aware of the way Logan is
watching me.

I’m suddenly not sure if I want to crawl into
the tight intimate space with him. Not because I don’t trust him,
but because this time, I don’t trust myself.

T
he murmured sounds
of the hikers drift through the quiet night air as we all prepare
for bed. Even though I’m pushed past my comfort zone, I try to act
normal, try to pretend that crawling into bed with Logan is
something I do on a regular basis. My insides, however, are in a
complete uproar and the food I’ve eaten earlier has settled into a
big chaotic lump in the pit of my stomach.

After we exchange ‘good-nights’ Logan holds
the tent flaps open for me and I scurry inside. I leave my clothes
on and struggle to keep my breathing steady as I climb between the
sleeping bags. Pretending we’re a couple, Logan crawls in with me.
I look at the powerful, big bad alpha moving in beside me and can’t
help but think this is a dangerous game I’m playing.

My pulse pounds hard as I snuggle deeper into
my pillow and when Logan shifts closer I can feel heat and strength
radiating from him as he offers me his warmth. My entire body
reacts to his close proximity and I almost feel dizzy.

I listen to Logan’s soft breathing and hear
his throat work as he swallows and I get the distinct impression
that he is struggling to keep his composure, a difficult task for
an alpha like him, I’m sure.

He puts an arm around me and when I turn into
him, he pulls me in closer and I realize how nice it feels to be
held by him. The earthy scent of his skin, so achingly familiar to
me now, stirs my wolf and it takes all my effort not to let loose a
distressed howl. My toes curl as my thoughts fragment.

“This is much better than last night,” he
says, and for the first time I hear something in his voice,
something that makes me think he’s as nervous as I am. He sinks
deeper into the blankets. “Softer, too.”

Logan touches my arm, and when I stiffen,
still not used to the softness of his touch, he pulls his hand back
like he’s been burned. His glance flits over mine and I see a hint
of uncertainty in his eyes before he rolls onto his back.

As I watch him, it reminds me that beneath
that big bad alpha Logan is just a boy, and inside this tent, as
nature compels us to do what comes naturally between a boy and a
girl, he’s just as uncertain as I am.

He crooks his elbow and braces one arm under
his head. As I watch him stare skyward, I wonder what he’s
thinking.

“You tired?” I ask evenly, even though
everything about this boy is playing havoc with my senses and
rattling what little calm I can seem to muster.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice coming out a
little rough around the edges. “You?” He takes a deep breath and
when he wets his lips my gaze lingers on the streak of moisture and
I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to be kissed by
him.

I bite back a breathy moan, suddenly
terrified by what I’m feeling, and remember he’s waiting for an
answer. “Exhausted,” I finally say.

He angles his head to see me and when he
gives me the softest smile I’ve ever seen I nearly melt into the
sleeping bag.

I think about the way he touched me tonight,
the way he treated me like a girl, not an animal, and the way he
made me feel proud and beautiful of myself just the way I am. I
also think about the way he kissed my scars with the utmost care. A
burst of heat rushes up my spine and I can feel my face flush
hotly.

Flustered and completely unsure of myself, I
pull the blanket up higher to hide my body’s reactions. Logan turns
into me and gathers a damp wayward strand of my hair between his
fingers. He brings it to his nose and inhales.

“You smell good.”

When I swallow, he leans closer and I wonder
what if he’s about to make a move on me. As his glance races over
my face he wets his lips again and I wonder if I’m finally going to
know what it’s like to be kissed.

My eyes widen and my heart pounds as equal
mixtures of nervousness and excitement pulse inside me. Logan
inhales and I know he can taste my tension. I just hope he doesn’t
mistake it for fear.

My fingers tingle and I want to touch him, to
draw his mouth to mine, but I can’t seem to move. It feels as if
the connection between my brain and body has been completely
disengaged and I’m left paralyzed—a perilous state for a wolf on
the run to find herself in, especially one who is running with an
alpha who holds secrets.

He opens his mouth like he wants to say
something, and my blood is pounding so hard in my ears I wonder if
I’ll be able hear him. When apprehension invades my stomach, dark,
tortured emotions pass over his eyes and his nostrils flare.

A strange sense of disappointment runs
through me when he rolls back over. I watch his chest rise and fall
as he sucks in a ragged breath and I get the sense that he’s
fighting some sort of internal battle.

“Try to get some sleep, Pride,” he says in a
rusty voice full of torment. “I want to cover a lot of ground
tomorrow.”

As a barrage of emotions roll off his body,
he looks skyward again and my chest tightens so hard it’s almost
impossible to breathe.

Logan closes his eyes and suddenly all I want
to do is climb from the tent and lose myself in the woods. My wolf
cries, wanting to run, wanting to get as far away from Logan as
possible. Everything about him rattles me, disarms me in a way that
leaves me vulnerable.

Instead of bolting, I slam my lids shut and
force myself to relax. I take a long time to sort things through
then come to the realization that his retreat was for the best. I
have a mission to concentrate on and don’t need such
complications.

I let my thoughts drift to the compound, and
take that moment to berate myself for my behavior. People are being
abused at the hands of a cruel man while I lay here in comfort and
feel sorry for myself.

Disgusted by my selfishness, I push all
thoughts of Logan aside and try to relax, knowing that in the
upcoming days I’ll need my strength.

Moments before I’m about to drift off a scent
has my lids springing open. My blood rushes fast as my senses sort
through the information. The second my brain deciphers exactly who
the smell belongs to my heart begins to gallop. I breathe deep, but
know I have to be wrong.