Primal Heat (26 page)

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the ship's liquid voice replied.

His gaze swept the group. “I know you've all been waiting for some word from me on how we're to proceed from here.”

“It's only been a handful of days since your return, Your Majesty. Everyone would understand if you needed more time to acclimate yourself to your life again.” The sympathy and quiet strength in Mythri's gaze made him glad she was in his diplomatic corps. They'd need that strength before this was over.

“Thank you, but it's time to get back to work.” The multiveyor slid to a stop, and he led them into his office suite. He propped himself against his desk and waited for them to arrange themselves on the various chairs and couches that scattered around the room. “You all have duties to attend to, so I won't keep you long.”

Tylara leaned forward in her seat. “This is more important right now, sire.”

“Thank you.” He took a breath, testing the emotions of those around him. Anticipation rose in the room, though their faces reflected only mild interest. The power he was born with was what made him emperor. Time to start acting like it. “I'll need all of your help for this. We're going to remove Arthur from power, which I'm sure doesn't shock you, and I know Farid and Bren have been trading technology with different countries for their cooperation in providing information on Arthur's activities and, before my rescue, my whereabouts.”

“None of the technology could be used against us,” Farid interjected. “No weapons.”

“Of course not.” Kyber nodded. “What I propose is that we step up that campaign and continue it even after the bulk of the fleet has returned to Suen. One ship will remain here.”

He felt their surprise but no resistance to what he was saying. An excellent sign. “It's not enough to simply end Arthur's influence here. The power structure of this planet has been thrown out of balance because of our arrival. I propose we become a new trade partner and that we serve as unbiased mediators, if needed.”

A sigh of relief came from Farid. “My One and I would like to be with that ship. We'll help reestablish peace here and make sure future Sueni-Earthan relations are based on mutual prosperity rather than animosity.”

Mythri reached for Haakesh's hand, and they shared a look of complete understanding. She met Kyber's gaze. “We'll stay, too. Haakesh can command the ship left behind. There are Sueni who have married the Earthan Kin they brought on board. They might wish to remain here as well.”

“Or they may wish to go with us. The Earthan partners in those pairings will, of course, have Sueni citizenship.” Kyber tapped his fingers against his thigh. “We can put a call for volunteers in the fleet and see where we stand.”

He looked to Tylara, his military commander. She was quiet for a long moment. “I would suggest that the
Vishra
's sister ship, the
Jagata
, be the one to stay. It is the one most able to defend itself, should anything happen. I also believe that as we journey home, we should establish communication imager relays so that we're not cut off from Earth entirely.”

“Agreed.” Kyber slid his hands in his pockets and sensed their approval in his plan, their relief to have a mission to accomplish. A sigh eased out of his throat. One problem solved, but so many other questions still to answer.

Mythri's eyebrows arched. “What does the empress think of your plan, sire?”

“She doesn't know about it.” The empress thought he was a monster. He forced a wide smile as he stood to indicate the meeting was over. “I'm afraid this is an idea that's only just become concrete enough to mention. As Her Majesty is recovering from a sparring lesson with Lady Arjun, I haven't had time to speak to her about it.”

Tylara snorted. “Hardly a
lesson
at this point, sire. Your One is a quick study. Bren has to work to stay ahead.”

Rising from his seat, Farid turned for the door. His eyes twinkled. “It's good for my One to have a challenge from someone she knows isn't holding back on her.”

“She has the Kin Guardians for that, too.” Tylara brushed at the sleeves of her dark blue uniform as she followed Farid. She glanced at Kyber. “The empress did quite well while you were away, Your Majesty. Not just with learning to fight. She's made an excellent impression on all my staff. Johar says the Guardians quite like her as well.”

The Royal Guardians would protect and serve the imperial family whether they were likeable or not, but hearing Tylara compliment
anyone
was unusual.

“I agree. Farid and I have been training her with the diplomatic corps, and I've been most impressed with how quick a study she is.” Mythri's smile was kind and sincere.

“I have no objection to your new plan, sire. I think it's excellent.” Worry flashed over Haakesh's normally good-humored expression, and his One tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. He spoke plainly, as was his nature. Kyber had always liked that about him, until now. “However, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we respect your One very much, but it has been noted that she's withdrawn from her duties and her interactions with the public since your return. She seems unhappy, and we're concerned that the reunion of the imperial couple has not been as amicable as we might hope. There are, of course, extenuating circumstances, but I've heard rumblings in the fleet that the reason we didn't leave as soon as you returned is because you may decide to leave the empress on Earth, thus defeating the purpose of our expedition. I'm sure our new mission will curtail that rumor, but…” He drew a breath and let it out, covering his One's hand with his. “I hope, for your sake and Empress Jana's, that you can find some peace between you.”

“I'll take all of that into consideration.” What else could Kyber say? He
had
threatened to dump Jana back on Earth and leave her at Arthur's mercy. Not that he could ever have followed through with the thought. Even at the height of his rage, he couldn't imagine doing such a thing to anyone. He wasn't that cruel.

He sighed. Jana. Anun, their bond was a tangled mess he'd never undo. Listening to his people sing her praises stung. While he wasn't here, she had become the woman he'd always known she was capable of being. A leader, respected and obeyed by beings vastly more powerful than she was. It was unsettling to know that she was more perfect for an emperor now than she ever had been, but he was less a ruler than he had ever been. And she wanted to be rid of him. He snarled, the beast awakening with a vengeance, dragging him to his basest instincts. Every time he thought he had a handle on it, it slammed into him when he least expected it. The memories, the horror, the agony. Of what Arthur had done to him, of what Jana had done with Arthur.

He froze, hissing as every sense went on alert. His claws and fangs slid forward as the power within him reacted to an attack that wasn't forthcoming. The group still standing in his doorway turned back to stare at him in confusion, and Kyber shook his head. Some painful awareness awakened within him. Something pressed against his skin, as if pins were digging into his flesh. It niggled at the back of his mind, like a memory he couldn't recall or a word that hovered on the tip of his tongue. He rolled his shoulders, pushing the sensation away.

But it wouldn't be denied. Soon the niggle became a tug and the tug became an urgent yank that sent pain shooting through his skull. He groaned, bending forward and catching his hands on his knees. He might have kept right on going all the way to the floor if Farid hadn't moved forward to grab his shoulder and hold him upright. Somewhere in the distance, he heard Farid's voice shouting. People erupted into the corridor outside his office, diving into action. Answering Farid's call? Kyber didn't know, that hot blade slicing through his mind obliterated anything else.

And then he understood.

It was the connection with his One, ripping wide open, shoving past the barriers he'd erected to confine it, block it.

He saw through Jana's eyes as she picked up his razer from the table by the wall, felt her resolve, realized without a shadow of a doubt what she was going to do.

“
Noooo.
” The sound that wrenched from his throat was that of a wounded animal, tripping over a low sob.

Jerking free of Farid's grip, Kyber shoved his way out the door and spun for the stairway that would lead him down to the level with his chambers. He couldn't wait for the multiveyor. His arms and legs pumped as he sprinted faster than he ever had in his life, pouring on every ounce of his superhuman speed, leaping down the stairs, desperation whipping through him.

Jana, no. Don't do this. I forbid it.
The tone was his most royal edict, words that should be obeyed without question.

He felt her derisive snort through their connection, sensed that she was shoring up her own defenses against his mental commands.

He was losing her.

His lungs burned with strain, sweat sliding down his face to burn his eyes. He reached the right level and shot out into the hallway. Every muscle in his body screamed with the imperative to reach her, to stop her, to save her.

Please, Jana.
But he knew she no longer listened.

Rounding the last corner, he made the door fly open with a single thought and raced through, his hand already outstretched to rip the gun from her hand. The gun she'd pressed against her temple.

She'd already pulled the trigger, and the weapon discharged as it flew through the air, blowing a hole in the sanitation room door.

“No!” She leapt for the razer and missed, hitting the floor hard on her knees as a helpless, hopeless sob ripped from her. She was still naked and damp from their shower. Tears sheened her beautiful grey eyes as she stared up at him.

Relief wound through him as the weapon landed safely in his palm. He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed, struggling to catch his breath, to understand that he had gotten there in time. He'd never been more terrified in his life, not even when Arthur's men had captured him.

“Give me the gun back, Kyber.”

“
No.
” Horror fisted inside him, and he stumbled back a step, clutching his razer tight.

“Please, Kyber. You want this. I want this. Hell, every Sueni you dragged with you wants this. Just give me the gun and walk away. That's all you have to do. Just walk away.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “P-please, Kyber.
Please.
”

He shook his head so hard, his hair whipped into his eyes. “No one else wants this, Jana.”

“Yes, they do.” Her laugh was a harsh, painful sound. “You think it's easy to hold my head up? You think it's fun knowing that everyone who walks by me
knows
I whored myself out? That everyone thinks I was an idiot?”

“They don't think that.” The words were especially bitter after the conversation he'd had in his office. “You obviously have no idea what they're thinking.”

“It doesn't matter. None of it matters.” Her eyes focused on the razer in his hands, a longing in her gaze so keen it sliced through him. Her voice was a low sob of air. “Our connection was so perfect, so pure. I hate myself for what I did to us. We're broken.
I
broke us. I can't live with myself anymore, Kyber. I can't.” She swallowed, her fingers trembling as she lifted them toward him. “Give me the gun back.”

He gathered the power within him, focusing on the metal of the weapon, and made it shatter into a thousand unrecognizable pieces. He dropped them to the floor. “You will not kill yourself using
my
weapon. You will not kill yourself
at all
.”

A low cry of pain spilled from her as the razer turned to little more than metallic dust. “I did everything I said I would do. I saved you from Arthur, brought you back to your people, now just let me finish it.” Her palms pressed together in supplication. “I just want it to be
over
. It'll all be okay for everyone then.”

“It will never be finished between us, Jana.” The words, the truth, jerked out of him while his body still trembled with shock. He'd almost lost her. His One. “It'll never be okay without you.”

“I'll beg. That's what you want, isn't it? I'll beg, Kyber.” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Her every emotion spilled out. Her pain, her desperation, her deep, terrifying loneliness. She was open to him as she hadn't been since before Arthur.

He groped his way along the connection between them as he stepped toward her cautiously and laid a hand on her bent head. She shuddered and he felt how she tried to writhe away from the automatic reaction to her One's touch. He refused to allow himself satisfaction that she couldn't escape it any more than he could. Instead he followed the dark streaks of pain that flowed through her mind. It was unnatural, this anguish.

When he ran up against a wall in her thoughts, it took him a moment to understand what he was looking at. This wasn't a barrier erected by her. It was shoved there…by
him
.

What she'd said about the bruise that never healed, that always returned, rushed back to haunt him. Horror exploded inside him as he realized exactly what he had done. In the moment of her betrayal, in his deepest moment of agony, he'd forced a block into her mind. And there it still rooted deep in her subconscious like a festering sliver, forcing her to relive what Arthur had done to her all day, every day. Literally. Her mind would have made every moment of it real. How his fists had struck her, how he'd hurt and humiliated her, how his fingers had wrapped around her throat to choke her and make her fight him, how he had loved the power her fear gave him.

Bile rose in Kyber's throat as those violations poured through him, as he lived them with her. How had she survived like this? How had she held on? How had she kept from going insane all these months? He didn't know. He only knew it took a strength he wasn't certain he possessed himself. And he, her One, the person she was most defenseless against, had done this to her. Made her endure it over and over and over again.