Lucas heard the fear in her voice and wanted to take her in his arms again. He forced himself to stay where he was. He was determined to find out everything while his wife was being so agreeable. “Keep explaining, Taylor. I'm listening.”
She couldn't look at her husband now. She turned around and stared out into the night. Telling family secrets was difficult, but the shame in her family made the explanation almost unbearable. Marian had told her they were never to speak of the atrocity. It was too vile and sinful.
Taylor gripped her hands together and said a prayer for courage. Her voice echoed with sadness when she continued. “I have been running away from my uncle since I was a very little girl. Marian warned me about him. She told me what he would try to do to me. She protected me from the demon.”
She turned around and looked at him. She was searching for signs of disgust. She didn't find any and decided he still didn't understand.
“I slept with the dresser in front of my bedroom door from that day on,” she told him. “And I kept a knife under my pillow.”
Lucas closed his eyes. The pain he heard in her voice washed over him. He pictured her as a little girl trying to defend herself against a full-grown man's sick cravings and started shaking with rage. He shouldn't have been surprised, for in the time they'd been together, she'd given him sufficient hints. Yes, he had guessed the truth, yet hearing the confirmation still stunned him.
“Did he ever tryâ”
She wouldn't let him finish his question. Her words were hurried now, for she was anxious to get the rest of the sins told before weeping.
“The little dresser wasn't an obstacle for Malcolm, of course. He came into my room late one night. I didn't wake up until he sat down on the side of the bed. God, I was so terrified. I found the knife under my pillow and when he reached down to cover my mouth with his hand, I cut him.”
She took a long shuttering breath. “He didn't know I had a weapon, thank God, or he certainly would have been able to take it away from me. I almost blinded him,” she added. “He let out a scream of pain. There was blood everywhere.”
“And then what did you do?” he asked. Lucas kept his voice as soothing as possible. His rage was burning inside him, and it was all he could do not to shout with fury on her behalf.
“I ran and hid under Madam's bed. She was out for the evening and I remember I didn't go to sleep until I heard her come into the room. I still don't know what lie Malcolm told her about the injury.”
“Why didn't you tell her what happened?”
“How could I?” she cried out. “I felt dirty and ashamed. Such things weren't discussed in our household. I remember I scratched my knee once and tried to show Madam. She was appalled I would raise my dress in her company. Showing a bit of ankle was shameful and there I was, flaunting my bare legs. Cook cleaned the abrasion.”
Lucas shook his head. Taylor missed the action. She was staring down at her hands now, lost in her own thoughts. “I was trained to be a lady,” she defended. “And ladies did not talk about such vile things. The truth would have killed Madam.”
He didn't agree. “You do her an injustice, Taylor. She might not have wanted to hear the truth, but she would have done something about it.”
As an adult, Taylor realized Lucas was right. Madam was her champion. She would have protected her and turned her wrath on her son. “Children don't think like grown-ups,” she said. “At least I didn't.”
“What about Marian?”
“She couldn't tell anyone but me. She didn't feel she could admit that Malcolm had come to her room. Oh, God, I don't know how long it went on. She eventually married George, and after the twins were born, she became desperate to leave England andâ”
“Malcolm.”
“Yes,” Taylor agreed. “She didn't want her daughters near him. George wanted to go back home. He wanted to raise his daughters in America.”
She took another step away from him. “Now you know everything,” she said, her tone one of defiance.
“And this is when I'm supposed to leave or want to leave but won't because I'm so damned honorable?”
She nodded.
He shook his head. “I'm not going anywhere. Come over here, Taylor. I want to hold you.”
She shook her head again, even as she started walking toward him. She burst into tears as soon as he touched her. Lucas held her close and let her cry. He didn't try to soothe her, for he knew she needed to weep. She'd been carrying a hell of a burden, and it was finally time to let it go. She wasn't alone any longer. He needed to tell her that as soon as she was able to listen to him.
All the while she was weeping, she was telling him she wasn't going to be a worry and now that she was safe in the wilderness, he really could leave if he wanted to.
He let her ramble. Long minutes passed before she gained control of her emotions. He didn't have a handkerchief with him, but he guessed it didn't matter. She used his shirt to dry her tears.
Taylor leaned against Lucas and considered the problems that were still facing her. Would Malcolm send men all the way to Redemption? She didn't have an answer and put the question to her husband.
“If he offers enough money, they'll come.”
“I could go up into the mountains,” she whispered.
“Listen to me,” he ordered. He was careful to keep his voice calm and soothing. He could feel her panic taking hold again. She'd gone rigid in his arms. Her voice was shaking again as well. He wanted her to stay reasonable. “You're through running.”
“He's their guardian,” she cried out.
“In England,” he reminded her. “Not here.”
She pushed herself away from him and looked up into his eyes. “Meaning?”
“We're going to do exactly what he did,” he told her. “We'll petition our court for legal custody. Their father was American,” he added. “And it was apparent he wanted his daughters raised here. They were living in Boston when he died.”
Taylor couldn't let go of her worry. “Will the authorities here honor a claim made in England?”
“Not if we've secured our own claim,” he assured her.
“Don't use Lewis,” she blurted out. “He doesn't understand the law.”
“How did you figure that out so quickly?” he asked.
“I spoke to him about another legal matter this afternoon,” she explained.
Before he could ask her to be more specific, she turned his attention. “I want to thank you for your help, Lucas. I know I've turned your life upside down . . .”
He didn't let her finish. “Don't thank me yet, Taylor. You're going to listen to what I have to say first. Then you can decide if you still want to thank me.”
She agreed with a nod. She was still feeling incredibly relieved because Lucas was going to help her fight her legal battles against Malcolm. She could barely keep from smiling. Her husband sounded serious. His voice had taken on a hard edge, but she wasn't bothered by it.
“I'll be happy to listen to you,” she said.
And then I'll thank you once again,
she silently added.
“I want you to understand how things are going to be from now on,” he announced. “You could drive a man right out of his mind. You know that?”
She shook her head. He frowned. “You've driven me to distraction these past weeks. I'm still having trouble believing you actually dragged three children and a pregnant woman halfway across the country.”
She felt the immediate need to defend herself. “I didn't drag Victoria. She wanted to come with me.”
“Do you always think you know what's best for everyone else?”
He'd nailed her flaw right on the head. “I sometimes think I do,” she admitted. “But I tryâ”
“Don't interrupt. me,” he snapped. “And listen carefully. You don't know what's best for me. Got that?”
She quickly nodded.
“Did you go and see Lewis about a divorce?”
She was astonished by the question. “No, of course not. Why would you think such a thing?”
“You said you went to see him about a legal matter. Damn it, Taylor, what else was I supposed to think?”
“I don't want a divorce,” she whispered.
“You're not getting one,” he snapped. “Answer another question for me. Did you decide to leave Cincinnati before or after you received the wire?”
“I was getting ready to leave before the wire came.”
She didn't understand what was behind his motive in asking the question, but it was obviously terribly important to him.
Lucas's heart was thundering inside his chest. He was trying desperately not to ask her the one question that had plagued him night and day on his journey to get to her. The longer he looked at her, the harder it became to keep the words locked inside. He was aching with his need.
He was so damned tired of standing on the outside of life. He wanted a home, a family, and most of all, he wanted Taylor. He didn't want to live without her. She was everything he'd always believed he could never have and certainly didn't deserve. Yet she was here, standing just a few feet away, and all he had to do was reach out for her and he knew he could have it all.
The reasons had to be right, however. He didn't want a wife who was beholden to him. He didn't need her appreciation. He needed her love.
“Why did you run away from me?”
Her gaze flew to his. She saw the vulnerability in his expression and was astonished by it. “Is that what you thought? That I was running away from you? These mountains are your home. I wanted to be as close to you as possible. I knew you wouldn't bring me here. You told me it wasn't a fit place for a lady. But this is where your heart is, where you belong. Oh, Lucas, don't you understand. I was coming home.”
She couldn't tell if she'd convinced him she was telling the truth or not. His expression became guarded. He wasn't giving anything away now.
“I took so much away from you,” she admitted. Her voice shook over the guilt she was feeling. “You valued your independence and your freedom, and like a thief in the night, I stole both away from you. I ruined your life. I knew you wouldn't leave me alone to raise the children. You're too honorable. I didn't want to take all your dreams away.”
“Do you honestly believe I would have allowed you to do anything I didn't want you to do?”
“You weren't given a choice,” she cried out. “A man should be able to follow his dreams.”
“So you came to my mountains?”
She nodded. “I thought we could live the way Daniel Boone and his wife lived. He left her for years at a time, and in all the stories I read, it was mentioned again and again that he would bring meat to her. I also read that she was very content.”
“You really expected us to live like that?” His voice was incredulous.
She suddenly felt like a fool. “It sounded perfectly reasonable to me for a while,” she admitted. “But I have had time to reevaluate. I, too, did a lot of thinking on the journey here. I hope I even grew up a little. I learned something interesting,” she continued. “You can't always believe what you read in books. Just because it's written down doesn't mean it's true.”
The smile caught Lucas by surprise. Taylor sounded as though she was telling him something that was going to stun him.
“Cats aren't supposed to like water. I read they were afraid to get wet. The cat who tried to pounce on Victoria apparently didn't know he was supposed to be afraid. And now I think that perhaps, if Mrs. Boone had truly loved her husband the way I love you, she wouldn't have been content when he left her. She must have been miserable. I know I was when you left for Chicago. I couldn't stop thinking about you.”
“Look at me,” he commanded. “Give me the words again.”
And let me start living.
“I was miserable,” she cried out.
He thought those were the sweetest, most magical words he'd ever heard. His laughter echoed through the stillness. The sound was filled with joy. He suddenly was whole again and free.
She hadn't expected Lucas to be amused. Hearing him laugh after confessing her misery devastated her. He reached for her then, but she backed away from him. He was much quicker than she was, however. He grabbed hold of her hand and held tight. She struggled to pull free, but he wouldn't let go.
They stood at arm's length now. She finally quit trying to peel his hand away from hers and frowned up at him.
“Listen,” he commanded. Then he slowly tugged her toward him. He took his sweet time, and he didn't stop until she was pressed up nice and tight against his chest.
“I don't hear anything,” she whispered. “What is it?”
She nervously looked to her left to see if she could see anything lurking in the brush. She couldn't look to her right. Lucas's chin was in the way.
He let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist. He wasn't going to explain. In his mind, he'd heard the sound loud and clear. That was all that mattered to him.
It was the gratifying sound of his wife being reeled in. She was miserable. He couldn't be happier. He had her completely now, and he was never going to let go. He would make her happy, and he could certainly give her everything she needed or wanted. She didn't ever have to know about his past. The future was all that mattered. His future with Taylor.
His hand moved to the back of her neck. He leaned down and brushed his mouth over hers. Her lips were so sweet and full and soft. She tasted like apples.