Princess at Silver Spires (10 page)

“So, it's literally that you're not happy that Elise appears to have chosen you because you're a princess?”

“Yes…” How could I make Miss Carol realize I wasn't just being petty? Maybe I hadn't made myself clear enough. “I can't bear being in the limelight just because of being a princess,” I said, leaning forwards. “I hate it.”

Miss Carol seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “Think of Miss Owen and Miss Pritchard, Naomi. They've invested a great deal of time and work into the organization of the fashion show. Whoever Elise finds to replace you will have missed that first all-important rehearsal, and that's going to make the teachers' jobs harder.”

“I know.” I sighed on the inside and wished Miss Carol would say something to make my biggest worry go away. “But what about Just Water? What if Miss Owen changes the charity?”

“I'm sure you don't have to worry about that,” came the brisk reply. “I'll have a word with Miss Owen.” She slowed down. “But I want you to have a good think about continuing as a model. The question, Naomi, is this…” She gave me a sorrowful smile. “Can you let your principle go on this occasion, in order not to let people down?”

I looked at her and dug deep in my brain for the answer to that. But I couldn't find it.

“Think carefully. And come and see me any time.”

“And you will remember to speak to Miss Owen, won't you?”

She nodded and stood up, as if to tell me it was time for me to go. I didn't want to go when there was this uncomfortable feeling in the air all around us, but I had no choice.

There was nothing more to say.

I didn't do my prep very well at all because I couldn't concentrate properly. My mind was going over and over the conversation I'd had with Miss Carol. Afterwards, up in the dorm, Georgie filled Grace and Jess in on what had happened earlier, then everyone wanted to know what Miss Carol had said to me. I told them as much as I could without actually saying the one question that I hadn't been able to get out of my head ever since Miss Carol had asked it.
Can you let your principle go on this occasion, in order not to let people down?

The trouble was if I said it out loud there was a chance that they might all think I ought to let go of my principle. And then what would I do? It was all so confusing and I was near to tears.

Katy must have realized, because she put her arm round me. “Don't worry, Naomi. No one's going to think badly of you.”

I nodded but felt too sad to speak. It was kind of Katy to say what she said, but I didn't believe it for a second. The truth was that no one would have any sympathy for the girl who let everyone down at the last minute. I felt overcome with frustration and sadness. When I manage to do something well, people say that the teachers are sucking up to me because I'm a princess, and when I pull out so people
won't
think that, everyone thinks I'm being a stuck-up prima donna.

I can't win.

The next few days were the worst since I'd joined Silver Spires last September. I dreaded seeing Elise around school. Luckily she was hardly ever in the dining hall at the same time as me for meals, but some of the older students were definitely talking about me. I knew I wasn't imagining it. I would glance round and catch sight of people whispering behind their hands, their eyes flicking away when they saw me looking.

Miss Carol left it a while and then asked me if I'd given any more thought to rejoining the fashion show. She'd caught me on my way in from running club. I was with Grace and Katy, and they went on up to the dorm to get changed while I followed Miss Carol into her flat, feeling hot and anxious as I stumbled out my all-important question.

“Have you…did you…get to ask Miss Owen whether she's still going to have Just Water as the charity for the money raised?”

“Yes,” said Miss Carol, sighing. She pursed her lips a bit and gave me a long, careful look as we both sat down. “I must say, Miss Owen isn't particularly pleased that you've let Elise down at the last minute, but I tried to explain your side of the story as best I could.” She didn't smile and I felt as though I was being told off. “You don't need to worry that she'll change the charity, Naomi, but the media might not be interested in interviewing you if you're not involved with the show. As Miss Owen pointed out, it's great that you're involved with the charity, but you're not helping it by letting this publicity opportunity slip.”

I nodded and felt uncomfortable. Miss Carol still hadn't smiled.

“I take it you've not changed your mind?” she asked quietly.

It was such a big question. If only I could explain to Miss Carol that I'd been arguing with myself non-stop since the last time I'd seen her, that I didn't know what to do, that my brain felt like one big dilemma with thoughts bumping round and round, then round and round again…

I've always said I don't want to be liked just because I'm a princess.

But Elise said it was for my straight back, and even Miss Pritchard said I had poise…

No, Elise only chose you because you're a princess, and she lied to you about that.

Yes, I'm glad I've pulled out. It was the right thing to do.

But what about Just Water? You might not get interviewed.

The money will still go to them…

But you've turned your back on them. You're no longer involved with the event that's raising money for them.

But I can't do it. I've got to stick to my principles.

Can't you let it go, so you won't let people down?

I won't be letting people down. Elise will find someone else.

The teachers aren't happy.

Miss Carol coughed, and I realized I'd not answered her question. She was looking at me carefully. What should I say? I couldn't think any more.

I did the smallest shake of my head, feeling terrible. “Sorry.” Then I thanked her for trying to stick up for me to Miss Owen, and left her flat, sad that she hadn't given me a proper smile on the way out, and went along to the common room to see if Katy and the others were there.

I never did go inside though, because something stopped me in my tracks when I was on the point of pushing the door open. It hadn't been closed properly and I clearly heard my name mentioned. My heart started banging, and I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping like this, but I just had to find out what was being said about me. The next person to speak was Poppy.

“It's ridiculous!” she was saying. “No wonder everyone's annoyed with her.”

“I know, and all because she doesn't want to wear a tiara!” That was someone called Fay.

“It's pathetic,” another girl said, and I heard lots of indignant noises of agreement. “I mean, a tiara is just a fashion accessory. Lots of people wear them, not just princesses.”

“Exactly. She ought to stop thinking about herself for a change, and think about other people!”

I was raging inside. Half of me wanted to go crashing into that common room and get it into these girls' heads that it's
not
just about a stupid little tiara. But the other half was holding back, because in my heart of hearts I was starting to wonder whether they were actually right, so I crept away sadly to the secret garden.

My mind was in too much turmoil to sit still on the bench in the secret garden, so I decided to walk round instead. It didn't matter where. Anywhere would do. I was desperately trying to work something out. I had to be sure I'd done the right thing, because I was even starting to doubt myself now that
everyone
seemed to think I was in the wrong.
Was
I just being selfish? Did Katy and my other close friends really think that as well, but were too kind to say it?

Miss Carol's question was still pounding away in my head, like loud music that I didn't want to listen to.
Can you let your principle go in order not to let people down?
Impulsively, I pulled out my mobile and phoned home. I needed another chance to get Mum to agree with my point of view.

But it wasn't Mum who answered. It was Dad, and I felt myself getting tongue-tied as I spoke about my confusion.

“Mum probably told you… Did she say why? I mean, why I'm not…?”

“I was expecting an important call, Naomi, so I'll be brief…” Oh dear, I'd caught Dad at completely the wrong moment. “Naomi, your mother said you'd phone back when you'd spoken to Miss Carol. We've been wondering what she said.”

Dad was clearly in a hurry, coming to the point as briskly as this. Miss Carol's words rang in my ears and I blurted them out to Dad almost before I'd realized it. “She asked me if I could let my principle go this once so as not to let people down.”

There was such a long pause after I'd spoken that I wondered if I'd lost reception. “Dad?”

“Yes…yes. I think you should take note of what Miss Carol said, Naomi. She's absolutely right… I've always taught you that our principles are important, but it's true that sometimes, if it's for the good of other people, we need to let go of them momentarily. I know you'll make the right decision. I'm relying on you. And very much looking forward to seeing you on the catwalk.”

I didn't answer, but my head buzzed with confusion, and it was still buzzing as I disconnected a moment later when Dad said he had to free the line for his important call. I stood perfectly still, rooted to the spot. I had to try and sort myself out. Dad was relying on me. This was an impossible situation. What on earth was I going to do?

I started thinking through all that had happened leading up to that first full rehearsal. I went over those times I'd been in the textiles room when I'd felt left out of the Year Eleven club because I'd not understood what they'd all been laughing about. It made me cringe with embarrassment to think how naïve I'd been not to get that I was the target of their jokes.

“Nice one, Elise. I feel honoured to be standing on the same bit of floor.”
Charley had roared her head off, and I'd not realized what she'd meant about me being a princess.

“Do I get to wear anything on my head, Elise?”

“No, but you might be wearing a gag over your mouth!”

How could I have been so stupid as to not realize that they were talking about the tiara I was going to have to wear.

Then I pictured the big rehearsal itself. And when I got to the bit where Elise told her friends laughingly that she'd deliberately picked a princess so she'd be sure to win the competition, I grew angry all over again, and knew my principles were just too important to let go. Just Water would get the money. I might be losing one publicity opportunity, but I could make up for that in the Easter holidays. Yes, I would work and work and make up for everything in the holidays. That's what I would do. But for now, even if no one in the world understood how I felt, I wasn't going to be messed around and joked about. I had to stand by my feelings.

My walk hadn't made me feel any better though, because now I knew that Dad totally agreed with Miss Carol, I felt more wretched than ever. I set off back across the athletics field, thinking I might as well go straight to supper. I was already a bit late. On the way, I quickly went to the loo near the dining hall. Lara was in there. She had her back to me, drying her hands under the electric dryer.

“Hi!” I said nervously. I wasn't sure what Lara thought of me now.

She turned and smiled when she saw it was me. “Oh hi.”

And that was when I noticed she'd been crying.

“Oh, Lara, what's the matter?” I couldn't help asking. But immediately I realized I shouldn't have said anything, because it was obvious she was trying to hide it. “Sorry, it's none of my business…” I pushed open the door to one of the cubicles.

But when I came out again she was still there, texting really quickly. I washed my hands and a second later our eyes met in the mirror and I saw she had tears rolling down her cheeks. This time I had to find out what was the matter, because I couldn't just leave her in this state.

“Is…there…anything I can do?”

She wiped her eyes. “It's all a bit of a disaster really.”

“Wh…what?”

“Well, Elise has taken my model, Petra.”

I gasped. “What do you mean, taken her?”

“Kind of lured her away from me with big promises of stardom when Petra gets spotted by Elise's dad. It turns out he's some kind of talent spotter.”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “That's exactly what she said to
me
to try and persuade me to change my mind and be her model still.”

Lara laughed a dry little laugh. “But you weren't interested?”

I shook my head.