Private 10 - Suspicion (19 page)

I gave Sawyer a smile as we walked away, but he was looking in the other direction.

I gazed across the aqua-blue ocean, watching the waves as they lapped at the white sand. Upton's arms were wrapped around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. My heart felt heavy and full. I took a deep breath and let it go, just to see if I could lessen its load, but somehow it felt even heavier.

"What are you thinking?" Upton asked quietly.

"I'm thinking that I'm really going to miss you."

He chuckled, sending a pleasant shiver through my chest. "You sound surprised." I smiled and sighed again. In a way, I was surprised. I couldn't believe that, in such a short time, everything about him had become so familiar to me. The warmth of his skin, the roughness of his cheek on the mornings he didn't shave, the crisp scent of his clothing, the sexy lilt of his accent. And I was going to miss every last bit of it. Every last bit of him.

In a little while, we were going to jet off in different directions, for distant corners of the world. And as much as I knew that saying good-bye was going to hurt, I had to wonder . . . did I really want to be tethered to someone? Did I want to go back to Easton as Upton's girlfriend and have to second-guess myself every time I flirted or needed a date for a party or met a guy I really liked? It kind of went against the whole carpe diem lifestyle I'd promised myself I'd have back when I was on the island.

I had to say something. I had to be honest with him. And I had to get it over with before my heart burst.

"Upton, about this whole long-distance thing," I said, turning to face him. He kept his arms around my waist so that our faces were extremely close.

"You're goingto get all practical on me now, aren't you?" he asked, giving me a quick kiss.

"It's just..." I took a deep breath and fiddled with the buttons on his white linen shirt. "It doesn't seem all that realistic."

"I know," he said.

I glanced up at him, feeling both hopeful and disappointed at the same time. Is it wrong that part of me wanted him to fight me on this? "You do?"

"Well, I can't expect a girl like you to just cloister yourself away, can I?" he said with a smirk. He tucked my hair behind my ear, then ran his hand down the length of it.

"It's not that I don't care about you ... I mean, I do," I said in a rush. "It's just, I've got this whole new seize-the-day thing going on and--"

"After three near-death experiences and six days trapped on a deserted island byyourself, I supposed that's to be expected," he said with a shrug.

I laughed. "So you understand?"

"Of course," he replied. "But does this mean it's over and done? No more Reed at all? I've got to quit you full stop? No calls or texts or anything? Because I don't think I'm ready for that."

My smile brightened. "I don't think we have to be that drastic," I said, pulling him closer.

"What if we say we'll stay in touch and just.. . see what happens? "

"And maybe see each other over spring break? I mean, if neither of us is with anyone else," he clarified quickly. "Because my parents have this villa in southern Italy that you would just adore."

"Southern Italy? I think I could handle that," I said, resting my cheek against his chest.

"They don't have deserted islands there, do they?"

"None that I'm aware of. But if they do, I promise to have them populated before March," he joked, holding me tightly.

"I would appreciate that," I replied.

We stood like that for a while, for what seemed like a very long time, until the tide started to come in and the cool water lapped at our feet.

"Reed! They're loadingup the car. We've gotta go!" Noelle shouted from the patio outside her house.

"I suppose we should get this over with," Upton said finally. My heart dropped. "Do we have to?"

He glanced over his shoulder at Noelle, who was giving us a no-nonsense stare from above. "Unless we want to die a slow death at the hands of Noelle Lange," Upton said. I giggled. "I'll be right there!" I shouted to her.

She rolled her eyes, groaned, and went back inside. Upton smiled down at me, his arms draped around my waist. "So, this is goodbye?"

"Good-bye for now," I clarified.

"All right then." He reached up and cupped one hand around the back of my neck, his thumb caressing the supersensitive skin below my ear. Shiver city. "Good-bye for now, Reed Brennan."

Then he kissed me and kissed me and kissed me, until our feet had sunk into the wet sand, and my lips went from tingling to numb, and I had memorized exactly how perfect I felt in his arms.

FRESH START

"Okay, so the first thing we do is go to housing and make sure your transfer goes through," Noelle said, tugging her rolling luggage behind her as we made our way around the circle in front of Bradwell. It was freezing out, and we were both wrapped up in warm wool coats again. It was hard to believe that a few days ago I'd actually been overly warm. "We have to get them to send someone over and move the extra furniture out of the triple and into my room. Then tonight we'll have a little party to welcome you back." My heart skipped a beat at the thought of being in the same room with all the Billings Girls again. "You're sure they're all okay with this?"

"Are you kidding? They're more than ready to grovel at your feet," Noelle said, pushing her huge sunglasses up on top of her head. "I've already got Rose and London on food and decorations, and I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them had some gifties for you to say they're sorry."

I laughed and rolled my shoulders back as we came around the side of Bradwell. I was trying to ignore the pitter-patter of my heart, the blood racing through my veins. Somewhere on this campus was Josh Hollis How was I going to feel when I saw him? What was I going to say? What would he say? I had to play it cool. I definitely could not mention the fact that he'd gone radio silent for more than two weeks. If I did, I'd sound like a pathetic, pining loser and that was not how I wanted to come off.

I was Reed Brennan. I was a Billings Girl again. I had a super-hot European boy pining for me. The rest of the world could kiss my butt.

"I can't wait to see Constance's face when we tell her she doesn't have to be in a triple anymore," I said as Noelle hooked a right around the back of the building and started up the pathway toward Billings. "She is just going to--"

My mouth snapped shut as I walked right into Noelle from behind, tripping over her luggage. I almost fell flat on my face, but managed to stop my forward momentum by grabbing her arm.

"What just happened?" I said with a laugh. But Noelle's face was as white as bleached wood. Her jaw hanging open in a way she never would have approved of if she could have seen it. That was when I heard the beeping. The grinding. And smelled the unmistakable stench of diesel fuel.