Private Dancer (4 page)

Marise stood in front of Kasen and put her arms in front of her, wondering if she could remember the dances from her 9th grade gym class. There was no need as Kasen grabbed her by her wrists and pulled her close. She could feel his muscled chest on her cheek and she almost stopped breathing. He scent was fresh and almost hypnotic.
Funny, I didn’t have this much
problem breathing around him last night and I had on close to nothing
. Marise reflected. Kasen took her left arm and settled it on his shoulder. He took her hand in his right and stood still.

***

Kasen needed another moment to collect his thoughts. He was touching her, and all he could think of is touching her more. He knew she was doing this as a last resort, but he could not help but to think of it as a date.

Keep it together, Cassien,
his father’s words always came back to him when he gets ahead of himself. His father, George, would always use Kasen’s full name when he was about to teach him something. .George “The Captain” Montgomery was a domineering man that owned a large fleet of boats. To teach Kasen to swim, George picked up the seven year old boy and threw him into the lake that he was named after.
Learn to swim or you will be a sacrifice to the lake that
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bears your name.
Kasen remembered thinking that the beautiful Lake Saint Cassien would be his final resting place. Kasen shook his head to rid himself of the troubling thoughts. This was about Marise.

Kasen’s arms tensed as he slid his arm in the curve between Marise’s hips and her waist. His hand settled there and he remembered to breathe. He looked down at her skeptical face and smiled. He would keep it together.

Her skin was warm to his touch, and it felt as though her skin was as soft as her smile.

“The first thing is to step this way,” Kasen led them to his right. “Good, now to the front, I will lead.” Kasen took a step forward and Marise tentatively followed his movements. The movements were simple, and Kasen took the lead with ease.

“Very good, let’s keep going.” Kasen had Marise in his arms and they were sliding across the floor. Their bodies moved slowly at first, but the more comfortable they became in the steps, their bodies seem to connect on every turn. On instinct, Marise tensed up every time their bodies touched, but Kasen remained firm in his grasp. His grip didn’t allow her to pull away. The second time the front of her thigh met his, Marise only hesitated a moment.

It was over too soon though. The small clock that Kasen had on the stereo began to chime. They had been twirling and dancing for two hours and didn’t even notice. The alarm broke the moment and Marise came out of her trance of the music.

“This is going to be easier than I thought. You are a great partner to dance with.” Marise said as she bent to rub her calves. Now that they had stopped, she’d felt a burning sensation rising up her legs. Yet, she was thankful that she was not standing in those high heel shoes for hours.

Marise heard Kasen take a deep breath, but she didn’t look up. They had just spent two hours dancing; anyone would be winded a little.

Kasen was not gasping for air because of his exertions. He was watching as Marise gave herself a calf rub. She’d given herself over to the music, and soon her movements were as fluid as his 24 | P a g e

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were. Kasen became enraptured by her presence. The dull ache he felt when he was alone seemed to disappear when Marise was with him. Yet, she was not his. It was just for mere minutes of a song that he could say that she was his.

“I will take that as a compliment Marise, even though you didn’t notice me mess up a step or two.” Kasen chuckled.

“How was I supposed to know? You were teaching me, remember?” Marise’s smile lit up her face and she was laughing in her way that shook her whole body. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“Same time tomorrow?” Kasen said as he walked her to the door. He didn’t want her to go. He would’ve cooked dinner for her, anything to keep her longer. But he knew that would be pushing too far.

“Yeah, you bet. Thanks again, Mr. Montgomery.”

“Stop, please don’t be so formal with me.” Kasen sighed heavily.

“How do you want me to be?” Marise retorted.

“I want you to be my friend, and I to be yours. My name is Kasen.” Kasen eyes turned a dangerous hue of blue.

Marise straightened to her full height.

“Good night.” Marise said, and slipped out of the door without a backward glance.

***

Rushing down to her car parked on the street, Marise had to get a grip. She was made of steel, nothing could faze her, or so she kept telling herself. No, this was just another job; there was nothing personal about it.
It is just like being on the stage,
Marise thought as she climbed into 25 | P a g e

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her small hatchback. When she looked up to the top of the ten story condo complex, and saw Kasen watching her from the window, deep in her gut she knew it was nothing like being on the stage. With this private dance, her emotions were on the line.

Somehow, for two weeks Marise had managed to keep her mind off of her private moments with Kasen. She learned the more difficult turns with the waltz, kept everything about the dancing, even avoiding using his first name.

Darryl hadn’t noticed that she’d been home earlier than normal. He was never there. Marise worried that her wayward husband was getting into another debt with a different loan shark.

She decided to stay up late to talk to her Daryl. She felt like she’d not talked to him in years.

Somehow, they had managed drift apart.

“Darryl,” Marise said walking into the bathroom where Darryl was washing his face. It was close to midnight and he smelled of cigarettes and whisky. She didn’t turn up her nose at him.

She’d always understood his socializing before, now was not the time to question him.

***

Darryl turned to look at his wife. Damn, it was still weird thinking of her as that. Sure, she kept him fed, and she was cute. She just wasn’t what he pictured his arm candy to look like. She was tall, and her coffee colored skin was not the exotic hues of some of the women he’d sampled the pleasures of recently. Her eyes were dull, not all done up with glitter, just almond shaped.

Darryl did give her one thing, she kept a home feeling like a home. It was clean and she didn’t nag him. Granted, he came home late in the hopes that she would be fast asleep.
Just to avoid
the drama,
Darryl always told himself. If he was being brutally honest with himself after a few shots of Wild Turkey, Darryl admitted he only married her so his baby wouldn’t be a bastard.

Darryl looked at the woman standing in front of him with large expressive eyes.
When did she
lose weight? She’d always had a sort of love handle thing going on, but it seems to have
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disappeared somehow
. He couldn’t help but to stare at the woman that was his wife but he barely knew.

***

Marise was confused by the look Darryl was giving her. He’d never looked at her with more than a faraway look on his face, but now he looked at her with an interest. She wrapped her silk rose colored robe tighter around her. She leaned against the doorway and became wary of the staring game going on.

“Darryl,” his name came out in a sigh.

“Yeah?” Darryl still stared at her

“What is going on Darryl? How is the business?” Marise didn’t mean to sound like she was frustrated with his hopes and dreams, she just honestly wanted to know what her husband was doing to fill his days.

“Why?” Darryl immediately took the defensive.

Marise did her best to keep her calm demeanor. She knew that nagging him would only make him clam up and leave again, so she kept her tone mellow and sincere. It was what she learned from her momma.

“No reason. Just thought to take an interest in what you do. If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine.”

Marise pushed herself off the door and made to walk to their bedroom. She was not going to fuss. She wasn’t going to question him about it. She just had to remember what her mom did, just breathe in and breathe out. Sooner or later, he will see that his home is the most comfortable place for him to be.

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“Mar?” Marise stopped at hearing his pet name for her. He’d not said that in a while. She looked over her shoulder, trying to seem nonchalant, but so much hope welled inside of her she felt like she was about to burst. She was hoping that the stale fog that had settled on their marriage would lift, and that somehow the last year was all a dream.

“Thanks for asking, things are going ok. They could be better. I’m glad you have such an ok boss with you working all your overtime. It has helped.” Darryl said with his toothbrush in his mouth. Marise smiled and gave him a small head nod, and before she could even think about having to tell him about the real overtime, the stripping and all, Darryl’s cell phone buzzed loudly in his pocket.

“Yo, this is D.” Marise watched as her husband held a conversation all the while brushing his teeth. She straightened and turned to face him when she heard “I’m getting clean now. I will be there in thirty.” Where is he going at this time of night? Marise stood there, regarding him with a sense of dread. She knew that he would not ask her to come along, and she knew that he wasn’t going to be alone. Marise felt the walls of self-preservation surround her. She was safe as long as she stayed in her box. Darryl was reapplying his deodorant and was going to walk past her without saying anything.

“Um, Darryl?” He turned to her and for one moment, he’d a frustrated look on his face.
Why
was he mad, he was the one leaving the house again
? Marise’s thoughts slammed into her, making her breathless. No, she would not question him this time, but once she saw him for more than five minutes, she would sit him down and ask him what is going on. “Drive safe Darryl.” Marise said and walked into her bedroom.

She heard Darryl’s keys jingle and the door close behind him. Then Marise fell on her face in the bed and cried. Then she tried to count the times her and Darryl had made love in the past two years.
It was twice
. She cried harder.

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Chapter Seven – It All Falls Down

Something had changed. Kasen looked at Marise with some interest after she’d ignored him for the second time in their session. They were taking a break from the tango for a breather. The steps were complicated, as much as he loved to hold on to Marise, it would take her quite some time before she learned all the intricate steps. She was supposed to slide one of her legs in between his, and slide her calf along the back of his thigh and leg when he dipped her. They would get to that part and she would freeze.

Freeze was too polite of a word, Marise had panicked. He could see it in her eyes, her pupils dilated and she looked like a deer in headlights. It was early, and he would hate to have her leave so soon, but there was no point of him continuing the lesson if she was not going to dance.

“Let’s call it quits,” Kasen said after her third stumble. Marise grimaced and didn’t argue.

Damn, he hated seeing her like this. Her agitation struck him hard in his gut as if he was the nervous one.

He put his fingers underneath her chin and tilted her head to look at her. “What’s wrong, Marise?”

***

“Nothing, nothing at all. My mind is just preoccupied. I’m sorry I’m not on par today.” Marise said breathlessly. She could not believe that today was her anniversary and not once did Darryl mention it.
May I should just surprise him with something. He’s appeared to be under a lot of
stress lately.

“Marise, I know when you are bullshitting me. What is it?” From the tone of his voice, the soft dulcet way he said her name, Marise knew that Kasen cared. Maybe he cared too much.

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“Today is my anniversary.” Marise said, not meeting his gaze. She heard Kasen suck in a deep breath and exhale slowly. She dared to sneak a look at him and she saw what resembled pain in his eyes.
What did I do?

“Then you shouldn’t be here. Leave, we will pick it up again sometime.” Kasen turned abruptly and walked out. For the several weeks that they had been spending so much time together, he’d managed to forget that she’d a husband. Her admittance of her anniversary sent reality crashing down around Kasen, hard and unrelenting.

Marise didn’t know what came over him, but she needed to get out of his home. His home felt like a home and not the cold and lifeless apartment she lived in with her husband. She walked out of the living room without a second thought. She drove the way home with her radio turned all the way up, singing old songs on the radio. She’d not done that since she was a teenager and it made her feel good.

Marise actually had a smile on her face as she fumbled with her key. It was still early, she decided that she would cook her and Darryl a wonderful meal and they could sit down and talk like they used to. She missed the way that they used to talk about everything, when their lives seemed like it was just starting. She sighed with the memories and opened the door. The lights were down low and it smelled like cologne and incense throughout the living room. Maybe Darryl had something special for her after all. Marise smiled at the thought that maybe they were on their way to some new ground. After all, if he was home early, then for sure he’d something special planned for their anniversary. She would even forgive him for forgetting her birthday last month. Kasen hadn’t, she thought, but she immediately pushed the thought away.

She kicked off her sneakers and walked to her bedroom without turning on the lights. She didn’t want to ruin the surprise.