Private Emotions – Promises (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (14 page)

“Emily, this is very important to the both of us and I think we can really make a grand showing to the rest of the community. Let’s just work together and get this done.”

I put my dreams on the backburner for the time being and concentrated all my efforts on the designs that I had as work-in-progress. I was seeing my genius emerge from my creations as they took shape. It gave me a real joy to create something from nothing and I was really looking forward to the reaction of everyone at the fashion-fest. If all went well, Ethan would be there by my side during the entire event.

I didn’t finish until after 8 PM and I arrived at Ethan’s place at around nine. He already had dinner on the table and this time he made fresh pasta with a sauce that was handed down from generation to generation in his family. “I hope you like it, it’s my own personal recipe and I haven’t shared this with anyone in quite some time. The sauce of course makes the meal but our family only brings it out on special occasions because the ingredient that makes it unique and very hard to come by.”

“I’m honored that you want to share this with me and I’m sure that it’s going to be delicious.”

While I was eating, he said, “So, how goes the battle for fashion-fest? Have you made any new creations for the event?” I smiled at him over my meal, and then he said, “Ahhh, I thought so. Will I be seeing these creations of yours firsthand?” He was wrangling for an invite but I wasn’t quite ready to give him an all-access ticket, so I just coyly waved it off hoping that he wouldn’t push the issue.

“This is really good and your folks should consider selling this to the public.”

“Can’t be done, the special ingredient is found in Ireland and it only grows so much per year. We’ve tried to replicate it at home but the damn thing refused to grow. It seems like it was made only for the Irish environment.”

“That’s a real shame. Oh, I wanted to ask you if you have an early day tomorrow as well?” I hoped that would give him the push that he needed for us to spend more time together.

“Nope, I do have a lot to do still, but I’m all yours tonight. Why don’t we take our wine into the living room and relax?” We walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. I curled up under his arm and rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat through his shirt and it was soothing to my ear. It immediately made me feel calm and cared for.

He hugged me warmly but never made a move to indicate that he wanted to take things further. It was nice to have him here with me but once again, I was left feeling disappointed. Where was the fire that he once had for me? I could remember the times when he could not wait to get me naked and now we were acting like an old married couple. There was nothing wrong with that of course but I felt like I no longer ignited that raw passion in him, or at least, that was how it seemed to me. All this emotional thinking was making me tired and slowly I drifted to sleep in his arms.

I awoke and saw that the clock was showing 6:30 AM. Shit, I had to hurry if I was going to get to the shop early enough to finish the things on my ‘To Do’ list. He was still deep in sleep next to me on the sofa. Aarrrggghhh. This was getting frustrating. I could not understand what had changed. Sigh, I gently lifted his arm off of me and quietly walked to the door to get my coat. I walked back into the living room and looked at him. I started to wonder if I had done something to put him off because he hadn’t shown any desire to make love since we got back from his parents’ place. Even after Sophie’s wedding, we hadn’t satisfied each other, or at least he had not satisfied me. It was so unlike me to hunger sexually for a man like this. Usually it never really bothered me how often it happened but with Ethan, it was like a drug to me. “Sigh.” I took one last look at him on the sofa, walked back to the door and closed it behind me.

The fashion-fest started this morning and I had to get into the shop for some last-minute preparations so I was frantically at work. Then out of nowhere, Ethan was standing by my side and looking over my shoulder. “I didn’t hear you leave this morning so I figured I would come down and join you for the big day.” What games was he playing? Quite frankly, I was not in the mood nor did I have the time today. “If you need me to help with anything just name it.”

I was about to tell him that I didn’t need his help, when Michelle said, “Great, you can take those boxes out to the van and then we will get on our way to the big event.” I was starting to feel irate with the whole situation but I decided to hide it for the sake of fashion-fest. It would do nobody any good if I showed up there in a surly disposition, so I would keep it all under wraps until there was a more appropriate time to talk about it.

The location of the fashion-fest was at the campus of the city’s main college. Everyone came out to see what the hoopla was all about. I began to get excited as I noticed people gravitating to my designs.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it seems that your creations are making quite a splash.” Ethan was whispering in my ear and with each word, my frustration with our situation was starting to turn to anger. He was acting as if everything was normal when it clearly wasn’t. I didn’t answer him and just nodded my head hoping that it would pacify him and he would leave me alone before I said something that I couldn’t take back.

Michelle came over and said, “I have someone that I want to introduce you to. This is Peter Owens, and he has something that he wants to say. I will leave you two to chat as I need to get back to the display.”

“I’m the person who made this event possible and I just want to tell you that after seeing what you can do, I think that you’re going to be a very special addition to the fashion community. If you ever consider moving on from your current employer give me a call, because I am always looking for new talent.”

“Thank you but I don’t think I could do that to Michelle. She has done a lot for me and I feel it would be unfair to her if I accepted your offer.

“Hey, when I see something that I want, I really don’t care what other people think.” He handed me his card but I couldn’t find any reason to take it. I respectfully declined his offer again and left in search for Ethan.

At least Michelle wasn’t standing with us that whole time because I would have felt embarrassed had she heard any of that exchange. My heart and soul has always been with Michelle and for the chance to show someone what I could do. She had opened her door to me when others in the industry wouldn’t. I owed a lot to her and I wasn’t about to burn any bridges. Besides, I got the feeling that she would be happy for me and wish me well with my new venture. It was just the kind of person that she was.

I was still thinking of Michelle when I felt a hand over my eyes. My fingers played along his hand and then his arm and I said, “I think I can guess who this is.” It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know whose manly hands they were. Ethan had found me before I found him, the sneaky little devil. I turned towards him and he wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. I knew this was the place that I wanted to be more than anywhere else in the world.

“Emily, let’s celebrate this success after it’s over with a bottle of champagne that I have chilled and waiting for us at my place.”

I turned and said, “I would like that and it would complete a perfect day.” A nice bottle of champagne and a gorgeous guy to share it with was like my Christmas and birthday all rolled into one. Maybe this would lead to something a little more from him.

The rest of the event went on without a hitch. Soon, it was time for us to pack up our stuff and take it back to the shop. We arrived there at around 6 PM and Michelle was on top of the world. We had many orders from clients that wanted their own special designs and these designs would all be made by me. At least now I was convinced that I had what it took to make it on my own. This fashion-fest really opened my eyes to what I could accomplish if I were to put myself out there.

As Ethan drove back to his place he had a mischievous smile on his face, which hinted that he had something up his sleeve.

We arrived at his place and I took a seat on the sofa while he went into the kitchen for a couple of glasses and the bottle of champagne to celebrate the day. He sat down beside me and we sipped our champagne and enjoyed the aftermath of such a prestigious event.

“Ethan, I know that you’ve been busy but I have been over here a couple times and each time you didn’t make any move. Have I been wrong all this time and now you only see me as a friend? I can’t believe that’s the case. I know what we have is an arrangement but ever since we got back from your parents’ place, I’ve felt frustrated that things were a bit off with you and I could not understand why. Would you rather that we end our agreement?”

In a soft tone he said, “All I can say is that I want you.”

“Well, I’m not feeling that from you right now, so please explain it to me if you can because I’d like to know if we are still on the same page. I know that we were in a magical setting with the picnic, the sunlight, the horses and that bubbling brook, so maybe it was just in the moment. I’ve tried to understand the last few days and I thought it was just exhaustion, but now I’m starting to get a little worried that there’s something else that has caused of all this. Not to be paranoid or anything, but I need to know why you haven’t asked me to your bed again. We had a no notice out clause remember? So you also had the option to walk away if you no longer wanted to be with me.”

“Em, I know that you enjoy having sex with me, but do you realize in all the time that we have been together you never initiated anything or gave any impression that you wanted me in that way. Ever since I’ve known you, I have always been the one to start things and I think that it’s about time that you realize that you have the control in your hands as well. I just wanted to see if you were willing to make that leap on your own. You have a right to take what you want in a relationship, as much as any man does. My intention was not to frustrate you but to show you that you could have what you want, Em. Lovemaking in a real relationship is a two-way street.”

I listened intently to his explanation and came to the unfortunate revelation that he was right. Perhaps that was part of the reason for my previous breakups. The men in my life were always the ones to initiate sex, because I didn’t have enough guts to take the bull by the horns myself. I could understand now how that may have been mistaken as a lack of interest on my part.

He took my chin in his hand, looked me in the eyes and said, “Sex is about pleasure for both partners and being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. It shows the softer side of who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. I want you to know that I’ve been just as frustrated as you have been the last couple of days and I never stopped wanting you, Em …never.”

He leaned into me and we kissed softly, our tongues barely touched. His weight pushed me into the sofa and then he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off to reveal his manly physique in all its glory. His hands were busy undoing my dress and I was shaking as I unzipped his pants and pulled them down past his ass.

Once we were both completely naked, he got up from the sofa and reached for my hand. When I took his hand, he grabbed me forcefully and threw me over his shoulder. He took me down the hall as I playfully pounded my fists against his back and giggled the whole time. As he walked into the bedroom I could see his firm ass from over his shoulder and I just wanted to take a bite out of each cheek with my teeth.

He tossed me back onto the mattress and crawled onto me, pulling the sheets around us as we went. He kissed me so hard that I could hardly breathe, then his head disappeared under the covers. I closed my eyes in ecstasy as he sensually moved his tongue all over my mound and then jabbed his tongue in and out of me with only one purpose in mind.