Professor and the Nanny (Silhouette Romance) (4 page)

For a few moments Danny tried to get away from her and play on the floor, but she held on to him firmly and started to sing lullabies as she rocked. In no time he relaxed, put his thumb in his mouth and nestled against her.

Brittany hadn’t had much experience with infants and toddlers. She’d done a fair amount of baby-sitting in high school, but her charges had been mostly older children. This little one was pure joy. His skin was so soft, his hair still tousled, and he smelled of soap and baby powder.

She was still humming when she heard a soft sound somewhere between a gasp and a sigh and looked up. There, leaning against the doorjamb, stood Ethan. There were lines of fatigue at the corners of his eyes and mouth and he looked exhausted.

Their gazes locked and clung and wouldn’t be torn apart, but it wasn’t the magnetism that held her entranced. It was the raw hunger that seemed to look out of his very soul as he watched her cuddle his child.

E
than had been in the basement stashing away Danny’s surplus things when it occurred to him that he hadn’t seen or heard the boy for an uncomfortably long length of time. He’d assumed that Brittany and Nate were taking care of him, but what if they’d thought the same thing about him? They’d all drifted off to various duties without any of them taking specific responsibility for the little guy.

A stab of fear sent Ethan hurrying up to the first floor. There didn’t seem to be anybody there, although the television in the family room was going full blast. He turned it off and called Brittany and Nate but there was no answer.

Ordinarily that wouldn’t be too alarming since the house was big and tightly built. Also, all the floors except the tiled one in the foyer were heavily carpeted, which pretty much soundproofed the structure. But this was no ordinary situation! He was answerable for his little son now, and he should have been watching him more closely.

Quickly he bounded up the stairs to the second story and took a left turn to check the master bedroom-and-bath suite.
It was empty, but as he neared the nursery next door he heard the soft strains of a lullaby being sung.

He stopped and listened. The melody wasn’t familiar, but he knew it wasn’t Nate who was singing. This was a woman’s voice, sweet and clear.

Ethan crept slowly to the door and looked in. Brittany was sitting in Nate’s antique rocking chair cradling Danny in the crook of her arm, his little head pillowed against the curvaceous rise of her breast.

His knees turned rubbery and he leaned against the doorjamb to steady himself. She was the perfect model for a modern-day Madonna, dressed casually in blue jeans and a T-shirt after a long day of work, her lovely young face devoid of makeup and her dark hair falling across her creamy, unblemished cheeks as she bowed her head and lovingly stroked Ethan’s sleeping son.

Ethan couldn’t help it. He’d fought so valiantly against his desire for her every time he’d seen her these past two weeks, and now she was holding his little boy the way he longed for her to hold him. A moan escaped from deep in his throat and Brittany raised her head.

The singing stopped abruptly, and for a moment she looked startled. Then their gazes locked and hers softened. Ethan knew he should break that hold. He didn’t want her to see the depth of emotion she stirred in him, but he couldn’t look away. Those big, deep-set green eyes of hers wouldn’t let him.

Slowly he started walking across the room, never breaking eye contact, until he stood in front of the chair. She watched him, and when he hunkered down in front of her and murmured, “Let me take him,’ she put Danny in his outstretched arms.

As he stood he didn’t know where this interlude was going, but he was sure of one thing. She’d have to help get them back on a business-only basis. He couldn’t do it alone.

Ethan laid the sleeping youngster in the crib and covered
him with a light blanket, then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Sleep peacefully, son,” he whispered.

Ethan straightened and pulled up the side of the crib, then once again turned around to face Brittany. She was still sitting in the chair. He crossed to her and put out his hands. She took them and he pulled her up and into his aching arms.

He breathed a sigh of relief. The pain of wanting her and the strain of denying it had been torture. She was warm and soft and fit against him in all the right places. His self-control shattered and he kissed her, gently at first because of her youth and inexperience. Dear God, she was only twenty-one. He had no business toying with her this way. He was supposed to be the strong one, the adult.

He was trying to gather the strength to remember he was her employer, not her lover, when she opened her mouth and shyly welcomed him. All thoughts of breaking it off disappeared as his tongue caressed hers and he wrapped her in his embrace.

“Oh, Brittany,” he groaned. “I’m sorry. This is wrong.”

He felt her stiffen, but neither of them made a move to pull apart.

“Why is it wrong?” she asked against his cheek.

He nuzzled her neck. “You know why. I want you so much that I can’t keep my hands off you. I’ve always known you were off limits and even so I’m breaking all the rules.”

She tipped her head back and looked at him. “What rules?” She seemed genuinely puzzled. “You said you and Hannah were divorced.”

He blinked. “We are. This has nothing to do with Hannah. I’m talking about you. Your age, for one thing. You’re so very young.”

Her eyes widened. “You don’t like young women?”

“I
teach
young women, I don’t make love to them.”

They’d come to a good lead-in and he might as well bring the question he needed to ask out in the open now and get it
over with. “
Are
you experienced, Brittany? Have you ever been with a man?”

For a moment she just looked at him, then she buried her face in his shoulder. “No.” It was little more than a whisper. “But I’ve never before met one I wanted to be…um…
with
in that way.”

Pride and regret warred within him. He was proud of her for waiting to have that momentous experience until she met the man she considered the right one, and he deeply regretted that he wasn’t and could never be that person.

He brushed her hair away from her cheek. “I’m flattered that you think I might be that man,” he murmured into her ear. “I wish I were, but I’m afraid I’m not. Shall we go downstairs to the family room and talk about it?”

She nodded but made no move to pull away from him, and the very thought of letting her go was intolerable. What harm could it do if he held her for just a little while longer? Now that he knew she was attracted to him, too, they could bring their mutual enticement out into the open and deal with it.

With his left arm he turned her so she could walk along beside him while he hugged her close to his side. As they made their way down the stairs, across the foyer and along the hall to the family room, Ethan belatedly remembered his father.

“Where’s Nate?” he asked Brittany. “I haven’t seen him—”

“He went to bed early,” she said. “He was pretty well worn out after all the upheaval this afternoon and evening.”

Ethan seated her on the sofa and dimmed the lights.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’d like a cola if you have one.”

He smiled. “Coming right up.” He headed for the kitchen.

A few minutes later he returned with two glasses and handed one to her. He set the other one on the coffee table and lowered himself down beside her so close that their hips
and thighs touched. That was a mistake he hadn’t intended to make, but he had and he wasn’t going to rectify it now. Her soft flesh against his was too alluring for him to deprive himself of the pleasure unless she objected.

She didn’t, and he leaned forward and picked up his glass of vodka and water. He needed something to fortify his fractured nervous system if he ever hoped to keep his wits about him and behave like a gentleman instead of a lusting adolescent.

Brittany locked her fingers around the glass of soda to steady her hands and keep from spilling the contents. She was totally overcome by Ethan’s kiss. Although she’d often dreamed of it happening, she’d thought her feelings had all been one-sided. Until tonight he’d never shown any sign of even liking her let alone being attracted to her. Although they’d only known each other for two weeks, she’d been drawn to him from the minute they’d met.

He put his arm around her shoulders and snuggled her against him. She relaxed and laid her head on his chest. “You were saying,” she murmured.

“I don’t remember,” he admitted as he rained tiny kisses on the top of her head. “All I can think of is the taste of your lips, the scent of baby powder on your hands, and the way our bodies fit together as if they were made for each other.”

She liked the sound of that. “Maybe they were.” Her voice was little more than a whisper. Should she come right out and say what she was thinking? All her girlfriends let the guys know when they were willing to sleep with them. The women claimed the fellows liked having them take the initiative. It made men feel macho, pumped up their ego and started the testosterone flowing.

Her more-experienced women friends teased her about her reluctance to have sex with a man as opposed to making love
with one. To make love you had to be in love, and Ethan was the only one she’d ever felt that strongly about.

Well, nothing ventured nothing gained, as her grandpa always used to say. She cleared her throat. “I…I guess we could always find out. That is…”

She felt him tense and knew she’d made a mistake. She was being much too forward. She’d been propositioned many times, but she’d never come on to a man before.

Ethan didn’t seem pleased, even though it was all too evident that he wanted her.

She stirred and raised her head to look at him. His face was expressionless and the hot swell of humiliation surged through her. “I…I’m sorry,” she said, and tried to stand up, but he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back down. “You must think I’m a real…a real…”

“That’s enough,” he said angrily as he refused to let her loose. Don’t you ever let me hear you call yourself disrespectful names.”

“I only wanted to let you know…” Her voice broke and she couldn’t go on.

“I know what you wanted to let me know, honey,” he told her softly, “and I didn’t answer you right away because I was fighting off an overpowering urge to sweep you into my arms and carry you upstairs to bed.”

He hugged her close. “On the other hand, I’ve got to warn you, don’t ever come on to a man unless you’re prepared to carry through.”

She sighed and relaxed again in his arms. “I was prepared to carry through, but telling you was a mistake I’ve never made before and will never make again. You didn’t like it, I could tell.”

“I loved it,” he told her, “but I don’t think you realized how difficult it is for me not to take you up on your offer. A lot of men would simply have taken advantage of your innocence
and then blamed you for ‘leading them on’ when the experience was unsatisfactory for you.”

He tipped her face up and rubbed her nose with his own. “Some day you’ll thank me for not taking your virginity. Save that precious first time for the man you truly love.”

She pressed her cheek against his. His five-o’clock beard was bristly but endearing. “Why are you so sure you’re not that man?”

He paused as if gathering his thoughts, then answered. “Because I’m all wrong for you. You’ve only recently lost your parents and you’re alone and vulnerable. You’re looking for a father figure, and who better than me? Although, I’m a little young for that role.”

She drew in a breath to protest but he hurried on. “Factor in Nate as a perfect grandfather model and Danny, whom you could grow to love like a son, and you’ve got a family again. What you feel for me is security, possible infatuation, but you need a young man you can grow up with, not a middle-aged one who comes from a different generation.”

Brittany turned and put her palm flat on his shoulder, then pushed herself away from him. “That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard,” she said angrily. “I suggest you’re the one who needs to grow up. I think you’re afraid of me.”

“Damn right I am!” he admitted even as he gathered her back in his arms. “I’d be a fool not to be. Try to understand, honey. I’m a college professor and you’ve been a student at the university where I teach. You’ll probably return there to finish your education sometime soon, which would make a romantic relationship between us pretty dicey. But that’s not the biggest problem. I’ll be thirty-six years old in a few months, I was married for eight years and have an eighteen-month-old child who needs constant supervision. I also have a dependent father. Don’t you see? You don’t want my problems. You need a new, young family of your own.”

She sighed and snuggled deeper into his embrace. This was
getting them nowhere. “I don’t want to argue anymore, let’s change the subject. What are you going to do about Danny tomorrow?”

Ah, yes, Danny, Ethan thought. He’d been so busy trying to explain to Brittany why he didn’t want her, when they both knew he did, that he hadn’t had time to make any plans for coping with the upheaval having his baby son full-time would cause in his life.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’ll need to take the day off and try to find either a baby-sitter or a child-care center that has room for him. There’s one at the university but I understand it’s always filled to capacity. I’ll have to have someone by Monday because that’s when we start preparing for finals at school and I have to be there.”

A solution occurred to Brittany. “Why don’t you let me take care of him tomorrow? I’ll be here anyway, and that will free you up to spend your time looking for a permanent situation for Danny.”

“But you’ve got a full-time job taking care of Nate,” Ethan reminded her.

She raised her head and looked at him. “Nate’s no bother. Mainly all I have to do is make sure he gets his meds on time and eats regularly. That will leave me plenty of time to look after Danny. As long as they don’t get out of the house or the fenced-in backyard it should be a breeze.”

Ethan smiled sadly. Ah, the innocence of the young! “Obviously you’ve never been around children much. Especially ones Danny’s age. They can be adorable little brats and usually are. You got a taste of it this afternoon, but you’d have a whole day of chasing after him all by yourself tomorrow.

Brittany was getting tired of being treated as if she were dim-witted. She moved out of his embrace and sat up. “Look, if you don’t trust me with your child just say so. I’m willing to help you out if you need it, but I’m not going to beg.”

She stood and went to the closet where she kept her purse.
“I’m going home and do some laundry before I go to bed. You make up your mind what you want to do and let me know in the morning.”

She picked up her purse and was almost to the door when she heard Ethan call her name. It would have given her a great deal of satisfaction to stomp out and slam the door behind her, but that would only prove she was as immature as he thought she was.