Project Love (Cascade Brides Series) (19 page)

“
Oh, Daniel. I'm so sorry.”

“
She died in her sleep,” he said, swallowing. “They
think she actually passed sometime Sunday night.”

“
Not too long after my visit then,” Charity said,
shaken.

“
That's the thing. If
you hadn't been there, I would've always known I missed that last
visit.” He closed his eyes briefly. “I'm
so
thankful
you were there for her.”

It was actually the other way around
.
“Just a coincidence,” she said quietly.

He squeezed her hands. “It was ordained.”

Charity regarded his earnest expression, still amazed
that he could feel so deeply about a stranger.

“
The other thing is that there's a small service for
her in half an hour. Since there's no family, they tend to do these
things quickly. Is there any chance you can come with me? I know it's
asking a lot.” He took a breath. “I called you several times—”

“
My phone is in my locker.”

“
I figured as much.”

The fevered light in his eyes made her wonder if he was
truly recovered. He needed someone looking out for him. She tugged
her hands away and stood. “Let me go ask.”

Charity wasn't surprised when Jessie gave her the time
off. She'd never taken a sick or personal day before. After thanking
him for understanding, she grabbed her coat and met Daniel at the
door. Charity slid her arms into her coat as she emerged onto the
sidewalk.

“
I'm parked a few blocks away. It was as close as I
could get.” He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up
worse. And she was pretty sure his breathing was labored.

“
That's fine.”

Once they were in the car, Daniel maneuvered through the
usual congested traffic, impatience carved into his face.

She flashed worried looks in his direction. “Sounds
like things are heating up at work, too.”

He blew out a haggard breath. “You could say that.”

But he didn't elaborate, so she didn't push. Right now,
she wanted him as relaxed as possible. She didn't like seeing him so
stressed.

And in a way I'm adding to that. Did it bother him to
seek me out? I should've been the person he automatically sought out.
But I asked him to stay away
.
She released her own sigh, wondering why everything seemed so hard to
figure out.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot
of the care home. As they headed toward the building, Daniel told her
they didn't hold actual funerals on site. Just memorials for families
and the care home patients and staff.

After Daniel identified himself to an orderly, they were
directed to a small chapel at the back of the building. Inside the
room was filled with five rows of wooden pews along with space for
wheelchairs at the front and the rear of the room. A few residents
were already in attendance along with a couple of orderlies. Candles
flickered on the altar in contrast with the lowered lights. A large
arrangement of delphiniums and snapdragons sat below the altar.

Daniel straightened his tie and led Charity to a pew in
the middle. Once settled, he eased out a breath and closed his eyes.

Charity regarded him with concern, wondering if the
flush on his cheeks was from the cold or a fever. He could be having
a relapse, or maybe he had never fully recovered in the first place.

A man entered near the altar by a side door and began
the service. From his eulogy, Charity learned Evelyn Anderson had
been an only child and had never married or had children. Her parents
had died early in her life.

So she had been truly alone. Charity scanned the few
attendees. Were some of them friends? How could someone go through
life in such a solitary way? Surely there had been friends...people
she'd lost contact with as she'd aged. Still, it made her sad.

Charity glanced up at Daniel and saw a muscle working in
his jaw. Despite lacking the right to touch him, she couldn't help
but place her fingers against his hand. He looked down at her, eyes
shiny with moisture, and put an arm around her, pulling her against
his side. He grabbed her other hand and held it tight before
returning his attention to the service.

She wasn't sure what to make of his actions, but she
leaned her head against his shoulder all the same. Charity closed her
eyes and said a silent prayer for Daniel. And maybe one for herself,
too.

After the service, Daniel made no effort to move. Behind
them they heard the rustling of orderlies pushing wheelchairs from
the room. Several minutes later, the man at the front extinguished
the candles and another light went off until the chapel was only lit
by some hidden light source behind a faux stained-glass window at the
front.

“
I just didn't want her to die alone,” Daniel
finally said, his voice thick with emotion. He looked down at her.
“If you hadn't been there, she would've.” He licked his lips.
“You were her last visitor before she went to sleep.”

Charity peered up at him, wondering at the depth of his
emotions. He seemed to be struggling with some inner turmoil beyond
Evelyn's death.

“
Anthony died alone.” He took a breath. “If it's
within my power to save someone from that, I'll do everything I can.”

Charity remembered it had been several years since his
brother's death and yet it still seemed so fresh for him. Maybe that
was why he didn't understand her hesitation when it came to her own
sisters.

He released her hand and rubbed his face. “Let's go.”

Daniel was quiet in the car during the drive. Charity
tried to respect his need for silence, but questions boiled up within
her. How could he guarantee no one would ever be alone in their
darkest hours? It was a nice notion, but how could he put that
expectation on himself? And if he expected such a thing for himself,
he would for those close to him as well.

While Charity was glad to have been by Evelyn's side at
the last, maybe the woman had spurned friends on purpose. Maybe she
didn't want anyone around in the past because she was bitter or
disappointed. People made choices. Choices with very real
consequences.

And yet Daniel wanted to save them from those
consequences. He wanted to save her the same way.

“
How can you do that to yourself?” she asked in a
low voice. “You're just one person.”

He looked over at her with a distracted air. “I know I
can't be there for everyone. But I still need to be more aware of the
people around me. Maybe there's someone in my sphere I'm missing.
Someone who has a need I can meet.”

Worried about his state of mind, she tried to choose her
words carefully. “I think it's good to be aware...but you should be
careful about opening yourself to more hurt.”

“
Charity,” he said sharply, “life isn't about
avoiding hurt.”

His clipped words stung. She stared straight ahead, not
liking the feeling of being chastened one little bit.

Daniel seemed preoccupied during the rest of the drive.
When he pulled up in front of his house, she turned to him. “Um, I
think you went the wrong way.”

He met her gaze. “Actually, I didn't. Would you come
in for awhile? An hour or something? I can take you home afterwards.”

The appeal in his eyes eased a portion of her
mortification. “Of course.”

A look of profound relief crossed his features before he
got out of the car.

Once they were inside the house, she wasn't sure what he
expected her to say. “Um, do you have tea? I can make us something
hot to drink.”

“
Just coffee, I'm afraid.”

“
That's fine.” Charity escaped into the kitchen,
wishing she had some clue of how to act. Why did Daniel want her
here? It wasn't as if they were a couple anyway. Maybe he just didn't
want to be alone for the time being.

That was okay. Some people weren't content being alone.
Obviously Evelyn had been one who was. Except at the end.

Charity measured coffee into the machine, glad for a
familiar task to distract the direction of her thoughts. She peeked
at Daniel where he stood loosening his tie in the living room. She
suspected he wasn't completely well. That, along with Evelyn's death
and stress at work, meant he just needed someone to talk to. And she
was on hand because of her connection to Evelyn. That was all.

Charity held onto the reasoning because nothing else
made sense. Once a pot of coffee was started, she looked in a few
cupboards for some kind of snack to serve with the coffee. She wasn't
shocked to find mostly bare shelves. He probably ate out more than he
shopped for groceries.

“
Do you need any help in there?”

“
No, just relax,” she said.

In the end, she found the basic essentials for peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches. Arranging a few halves on a plate, she
found a tray and added the sandwiches along with everything needed
for coffee. When she brought it into the living room, she found
Daniel slumped against the couch cushions, his tie draped on the
armrest.

He looked up at her entrance. “Thank you, Charity.”

His sincere tone went a long way to making her feel less
awkward. She set the tray on the table and joined him on the couch.
Apparently it wasn't close enough.

Daniel patted the cushion next to him. Relenting after a
moment, Charity scooted closer, unsure of what to expect next. When
he coaxed her head into the hollow of his shoulder and pressed his
cheek against her hair, she felt her throat thicken with unnamed
emotion.

“
This is what I really need,” he said softly.

She nibbled her bottom lip, afraid of what this moment
meant, so she tried for a little humor. “You didn't have any cuddly
co-workers you could've called? Anyone from church?”

He shook his head slightly. “This only works with
you.”

Her traitorous heart
leaped at his tone.
What do I say to that?

He raised his head and nudged her chin up with his
knuckle until their eyes met. “Thank you for being here. It helps.”

She swallowed hard. “Sure.”

“
Does it feel a little awkward for you?”

Her eyes widened at the question. “You mean because
we're not together?”

Daniel ran a finger lightly down her cheek. “You're
all wrapped up in my arms, Charity. This sure feels like we're
together.”

Heat rushed to her face “I'm here because you asked me
to be.” She pulled in a breath. “That's all.”

“
Hmm,” he said, his features relaxing. “No, I'm
pretty sure we're together. That week when we didn't see each other
was just a fluke.”

Charity regarded him steadily, wondering what his angle
was. He might be in some kind of possibly fragile state so she didn't
want to upset him. But she didn't want to be manipulated either. “Do
you remember the conversation we had at my apartment?” She watched
his face for a reaction. “When I said it couldn't work between us?”

His brown eyes were gentle. “I'm so glad you came
around.”

Charity eased away from him by a few inches. “This
isn't funny, Daniel.”

He lowered his arm from her shoulder, but took her hand
in his. “We parted because you were confused and afraid. I get
that. It's just a stage in a relationship.”

She tugged her hand
away, her temper flaring. “I'm so glad you have this
all
figured out.”

He sighed. “I don't. But I know I want to be with you.
And I want to work through our problems—not avoid them.”

She didn't know what to say to that. It was just
too...reasonable.

Daniel reached for her hand again. “Your comment in
the car helped me understand. You're afraid of getting hurt. Well, I
am, too. Everyone is to some degree. But does that mean we shouldn't
take the risk?”

“
I've already disappointed you,” she said in a low
voice. “You said so yourself.”

“
That's because I didn't want you to throw in the
towel.” He glanced at their joined hands. “And if it makes you
feel any better, I'll disappoint you from time to time, too. I
probably already have.”

Charity rubbed her face hard, wishing she had the
gumption to just leave. But something held her back.

“
Let me put it this way,” he said after a moment.
“Every time a person comes into the world, God is taking another
risk that His love will be rejected. But does He hold back? Does He
avoid us because He might be hurt?”

“
That's not fair, Daniel.”

“
You're right, it's
not. But it
is
fair to
take some cues from God on how to live our lives, don't you think?”

She didn't answer. Didn't know what to say.

“
Life is too short to avoid a connection because of
fear.”

Charity knew he was
thinking of his brother again. And that
would
be a formative event in one's life, but that didn't mean she was
going to fling herself from relationship to relationship willy nilly.