Authors: Robyn Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #General, #Romance
A surprise awaited Clay at this visit—his brother-in-law had cut off his long, traditional ponytail, which had been pretty much identical to Clay’s. Tom had short black hair now, cut in a buzz.
“You look like a marine,” Clay said, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a brief man-hug.
“You’ll get used to it,” Tom said. “My wife isn’t happy about it yet, but she’ll adjust.”
And then Ursula was there, reaching to pull him into a hug of her own. “I’m still so happy you’re here, I can’t quite believe it’s true.” She kissed his cheek. “I hope this
works out for you the way you want it to, Clay. Because having you near is perfect for my family. I want to make it perfect for you, too.”
“You do that every time you welcome me to dinner.”
He was dragged outside by the younger boys to assess the progress they’d made on a tree fort, then he was pulled into Shannon’s room to look at all the As she’d gotten on her papers. Only his oldest niece, Tanya, was missing from the family. She was on a full-ride scholarship at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, near her maternal grandparents and the rest of the extended Tahoma family, while eighteen-year-old Johnny attended a local college and lived at home. Tanya went to school year-round—a difficult three-year premed program that didn’t appear to give her much difficulty. Tanya was beautiful and brilliant and, if you could trust a twenty-year-old’s ambitions, wanted a future in medical research. “She’s in love with the microscope,” Tom said. “Which suits me fine—exactly where I want her passion to be focused.”
“Tom has a very good memory about when we met and fell in love,” Ursula said with a laugh. “It scares him to death.”
There were many hands to serve the table—Ursula had help from her mother-in-law and the children. Lincoln Toopeek reminded Clay of his father—quiet and stoic, but that stern silence shouldn’t be taken for granted. Clay knew that Lincoln could make himself heard, make his presence known, just like the elder Tahoma. And then he noticed that when Lincoln Toopeek sat beside his youngest granddaughter, Shannon, and helped her serve her plate, all the harsh lines on
his face smoothed and there was such an expression of peace there. Peace and love.
The food at Ursula’s table was so abundant and delicious, Clay was surprised that nobody at the table was fat. There was a thick vegetable soup, then roasted chickens rubbed in some oils and herbs that almost made him drool. A potato-and-cheese casserole with crumbled bacon on top, roasted vegetables—seasoned peppers, onions, asparagus, sliced baby yellow squash. Fresh, sweet bread.
“Ah! If you all keep feeding me this way, I’m going to have to start exercising all the time!”
“Didn’t you eat well in Los Angeles County?” Ursula asked.
“On my own, it was only what I could throw together quickly, and I’m very lazy. When Isabel invited me to dinner, her cook served tiny bites of funny-looking food because Isabel worried constantly about her weight. So the answer is no—I did not eat well!”
There was a moment of silence before Ursula said, “How is Isabel, Clay?”
He trained his voice to sincerity. “She’s just fine, Ursula. Her life has hardly changed. She was the one who needed a divorce. The marriage wasn’t working for her. I understood perfectly.”
Another moment of silence. “This is a better place for you, I think,” Ursula said.
He grinned at his sister. “I agree. I’m very excited about Nathaniel’s plans. And it’s good to be near family.” He took a breath. “I have a favor to ask. Would you like to discuss it in private?”
“Is it obscene?” she countered.
He swallowed. “I want to bring Gabe out here. I wish
I could have him live with me, but that’s not possible where I’m living right now. So I’m wondering if he could live with you. That way at least I could see him every day. I’d like him to do his last year of high school at your kids’ school. I want to start training him as a farrier, if he’s interested, but more important, I want him to live with two professionals, two college graduates who encouraged his cousins to go to college.” He looked away just briefly, then back at his sister and brother-in-law. “It’s time. It’s past time. I hope I haven’t waited too long.”
Ursula reached across the table and covered Clay’s hand with her own. “You know nothing could make me happier.”
Then Lincoln’s voice, loud and stern, boomed across the table. “The boy will thrive here, even though he’s Navajo.”
The entire family laughed softly, respectfully. There was no bad blood between Cherokee and Navajo, but they each thought themselves a bit more evolved, wiser, stronger.
“I agree, sir. Thank you for that welcoming remark. I know my parents, aunts and uncles have done a fine job raising him while I’ve been trying to set up a life, but I’m planning to be here for the long haul, and I’d love to finally have a normal father-son relationship with Gabe. I haven’t been with him enough.”
“You were young, Clay. And you did very well as a father. Gabe hasn’t suffered. He had good role models and he was raised with love and every advantage.”
Clay looked at his sister and whispered, “Thank you, Ursula.”
“No,” she said, “thank
you!
I love that boy.”
Much later, after coffee and some of the best pie imaginable, Ursula walked Clay out to his truck. “I meant what I said, you know. I’m so glad you’re here and I hope this works for you. I want you close and happy. And I want you to have the life you want with your son, finally.”
“I think that will be the case,” he said. But what he thought was,
The life I really want is yours. The life I thought I’d have, filled with family and intimacy and friendship and trust. It happens around your table and I always dreamed my table would be the same.
He pushed the self-pitying thoughts from his mind. “I’m very glad to be near you and your family again,” he said. “But I don’t like your husband’s haircut.”
“I don’t know what possessed him,” she said, looking over her shoulder as if Tom might be there, listening. “He said he’s tired of it. Lincoln gave him a lot of shit.”
Clay lifted his dark brows. “Nice talk for the police chief’s wife.”
“Aw, cut me some slack—I’m not around the elders or children and I bet you’ve heard that word before.” Then she grinned. “Clay, you know I’ve wanted Gabe here with me since he was little. I know Father was right, that I should concentrate on my own children and I know Gabe did well with the Tahomas, but I want you to know, this is as happy a day for me as for you.”
“If he’ll come,” Clay said. “I won’t force him. He’s been on the reservation a long time and it’s a safe place for him.”
“He’ll come,” she said, giving him a reassuring smile. “He might be comfortable where he is, but when he’s
with you he comes alive. He wants to be with his father. This is a very good thing—for all of us.”
Clay smiled. “I’m glad you’re happy about it, Ursula. Because I’ve heard Tom say that when you’re happy, everyone is happy.”
“It’s true,” she said, not embarrassed in the least by that comment. “How soon can he be here?”
“Let me call him tomorrow and let you know.”
“Thank you, Clay. Thank you for trusting me with your son.”
He felt a small surge in his breast; he was so proud of his sister. She was a good woman, a good wife, a good mother. He grabbed her to him, held her tight and said, “Thank you, Ursula. I love you like a sister.”
She laughed and hugged him. Hard.
Except for visiting his father out in L.A. a few times, Gabe’s home since his birth had been with his grandparents. Clay had hoped for this day for a very long time, the day he could offer his son a home at least close enough that they could see each other every day. It was tempting to head for the reservation, gather up his boy and bring him back to California. But Gabe was a young man now—a seventeen-year-old; it would be selfish of Clay to insist on this change if it wasn’t in his son’s best interest, if it wouldn’t make him happy. So rather than traveling out there, he called.
Out of respect, Clay spoke first to his father about bringing Gabe to California. He then spoke to his mother. Their response was as expected—Gabe was past the age of having such decisions made for him and if he chose to leave their house to be closer to his father and aunt, they would respect his decision. Likewise,
Clay would have to respect Gabe’s decision if he chose to stay with his grandparents.
It was only after introducing the idea to the elder Tahomas that Clay talked about it with Gabe.
“But I have friends here,” was Gabe’s response. “And my cousins…”
“I’m not going to force the issue, son,” Clay said. “If you’d rather stay with your grandparents, that’s what you should do. Just keep a couple of things in mind before you make a final decision—I would have brought you with me a long time ago if I’d been in a position to do it, but my life was unstable in too many ways until now, until I moved to your aunt Ursula’s part of the world. You’re getting to that age where you have to make some future plans, and I’d like those plans to include more education. And before you strike out on your own, I want a little time with you.”
“You could come home,” Gabe said. “There’s room for you here. There’s work here, too.”
Although they’d been over this before, Clay answered patiently, “As the family grows, the potential for success is spread over more and more people. The company you’ll keep is excellent, but opportunity is limited. And if everything goes as planned here, I may be able to settle in permanently. And you have cousins here, as well. We could work together. Nathaniel has asked me to do some hiring, and I’m going to need a part-timer. It could be ideal if you want to go to school out here, too. But this is up to you. You might try it, son. Give it six months and see how it goes.”
There was only silence on the phone.
“Take some time to think it over, Gabe,” Clay said. “I don’t want you to have regrets.”
“I need to be with my father,” the boy finally said. “Grandfather says you need looking after.”
Clay let out a bark of laughter. “Does he, now? I’ll have to thank him for the confidence he shows in me. School starts out here very soon, Gabe. I’ll come and get you….”
“No, let me come on my own. I’m not a kid. I want you to show some confidence in
me.
”
It was settled that Gabe would drive himself from Flagstaff; he was adamant. He owned a little green truck that Clay had helped him buy last year and he saw himself as a man capable of traveling alone. He wanted a couple of weeks to say his goodbyes, then he would be on his way.
Clay wanted to make the trip with him, but he had to remind himself that when he was Gabe’s age, he was already a father. They may have lived with the family, but that didn’t mean Clay wasn’t up through the night when Gabe was hungry, teething, sick or just asserting himself. Clay hadn’t left the boy to seek a better life for them until Gabe was eleven, and even then he was back home often to be sure he was not forgotten.
“I’ve hoped for this day to come for a very long time, Gabe,” Clay said.
Clay wasted no time in speaking with Nathaniel about Gabe. “He won’t be staying with me, though I wouldn’t be surprised if he camped the occasional night. He’s going to stay with my sister and her family in Grace Valley. It’s close so I’ll be able to see him all the time, but the most important reason is that Ursula is a gifted teacher and her children have all been great students. She gets very involved in their homework, she
knows all the teachers, and she’s devoted to Gabe, who is far smarter than he realizes. She’ll coach him in the SATs—he needs to retake the tests for college. But I want to bring him on as a hand, Nathaniel. Given that my father and uncles have raised him, he knows about horses and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Nate said, holding up a hand. “Wait a minute here. Isn’t he just a little kid?”
“He’s seventeen. Ready for his last year of high school.”
Nathaniel rubbed the top of his head. “When you mentioned that you had a son, I assumed… Clay, you’re not that old yourself.”
Clay grinned. “I was seventeen when he was born. His mother was a teenager, also, and wanted to give him up, but I couldn’t. I brought him home to the family.”
“How is it I’ve known you so long and didn’t know the details about your son?”
Clay chuckled with some embarrassment. “I didn’t throw that around a lot, but one of the reasons I traveled back to the reservation so often was more because of Gabe than other family. Since I was never married to the boy’s mother, it was important that I be there for him. With your permission, if he proves competent—which he will—I’ll give him some work around the barn after school and on weekends. It’s important he work, earn a little money. And frankly, we need good help.”
“Sure, I don’t have a problem with that,” Nate said.
Clay grinned and stood a little taller. “I’ll see if I can refine the boy’s farrier skills and train him on our digital equipment so he has a trade, but I want my son to go further in his life than I have.”
“Shew,” Nate said. “Didn’t he live with you and Isabel?”
“It was complicated. Her family wasn’t exactly into my bringing a kid along into our marriage. And besides, I was raised a certain way, a traditional way, surrounded by family who all took a role. In our community it really does take a village. Despite the fact that I grew up to make some stupid mistakes, I know it wasn’t really the fault of my teachers. Gabe visited me in Los Angeles, but for all kinds of reasons it wasn’t the right place for him to stay. The only person invested in him was me and I had too much responsibility. It prevented me from keeping a close hand on him. And Isabel’s father…he never seemed to warm up to Gabe. For that matter, he never really warmed up to me. And Isabel had trouble, as well—she’s not very maternal.” He shook his head. “Gabe had fun there on visits, but it wasn’t a good place for a young boy. Gabe was at that age. He needed a lot of positive reinforcement and a firm hand.”
“Bring him on,” Nate said. “I can’t wait to meet him. Why did I think your life was uncomplicated?”
“I have no idea, Nathaniel.”