Promise Me Texas (A Whispering Mountain Novel) (25 page)

CHAPTER 32

B
ETH DROVE THE WAGON BACK TO THE MAIN HOUSE,
trying to sort out her feelings. Andrew had asked her to be real with him, not to pretend, and all day she had been. She really wanted him, but she wanted love from him as well. A marriage built on need would never work, but if he offered, she’d be willing to turn their pretend marriage into a real one.

If he’d just say he loved her once. If . . .

She’d heard the word
love
used too many times to believe it had much purpose. He’d said the loss of another love would kill him. She’d never loved anyone like that. To her, a man who’d loved too deeply and a woman who’d never loved seemed a poor match.

But when she lost him, would she forever wish she’d at least persuaded him to try? Maybe she was as spoiled as the family thought she was, but she didn’t want him just to have him to herself. She wanted Andrew because he needed her, and he was too dumb to know that she’d be good for him. In an odd way, being needed felt like being loved even if he wouldn’t say the words.

A tear dripped down her cheek. “What will I do,” she whispered to Whispering Mountain as it loomed before her, “when Andrew is no longer in my life?” A part of her believed the lie she told everyone in Dallas after the train wreck. She’d said it was love at first sight. A part of her wanted to believe it still. She knew, when she lost him, she’d grieve, for her mind couldn’t seem to convince her heart that she was only pretending.

As she neared the house, Beth noticed a horse that didn’t belong to the McMurrays tied up at the end of the porch. Her first reaction was to reach for the rifle beneath her wagon bench. Only reason told her no one could have crossed the bridge without a warning shot being fired, so the guest must be friend, not foe.

Maybe her father was back from Austin. They’d been waiting for news about what had happened when they caught up with the senator. He could have taken the train, borrowed a mount at the station, and come home to tell them all about it.

Beth jumped from the wagon. Even if Lamont claimed self-defense, which wasn’t likely since Andrew wasn’t armed, he’d get some jail time. Prison wasn’t exactly what he was used to, and a Texas prison would be a lower level of hell for a man who thought he deserved only the best.

As she ran up the steps she realized this all might be over in a few moments. All. The good and the bad.

She slowed. All but Andrew. That wasn’t over, not now, maybe not ever.

When she walked into the parlor, a lean cowboy stood by the window. He wore the chaps of a seasoned rancher, bloodied and scratched, and the Mexican spurs of a wrangler.

For a moment she didn’t recognize him. He’d gained weight and hardened in the month since he’d ridden away with Ranger Slim Bates.

“Colby?” Beth whispered.

He turned grinning. “Mrs. McLaughlin.”

When he started to offer his hand, Beth pushed it aside and hugged him. “Oh, Colby, we’ve been so worried about you. How are things? Did you find the men who killed your pa? How are you surviving out on the ranch alone? You look like you’ve been eating regular.”

Colby laughed. “You’ll have to slow down a little, ma’am. I know I’ve been gone awhile but I’m not fast enough to catch up all at once.”

Beth took his arm. “Fair enough. Have you eaten? We’ll start there.” She pulled him along to the kitchen. “The boys and Madie will be so happy to see you. They talk about you all the time. Madie’s read your letters so many times they’re falling apart.”

Colby stopped walking. “I’ve been riding hard, ma’am; I was wondering if I could wash up first. I saw a stand at the side of the house.”

“Of course, but use the mudroom. I’ll tell the others you’re here and we’ll all meet in the kitchen. You can wash up while I put something on the table.” She pointed him toward the back of the house. “My family rode into Anderson’s Glen for a town hall meeting, so it’ll just be us for supper.”

He smiled. “Like it was at the house in Fort Worth?”

She pulled him along. “Except for Andrew. He’s recovering over in a cabin by the stream, but he’ll come in for breakfast tomorrow if he knows you’re here.”

“I need to talk to him soon.” Colby lowered his voice. “Sheriff Harris out of Dallas stopped by my place and told me Chesty Peterson told one of the other prisoners that when he broke out he was going to hunt McLaughlin down.”

“Andrew already knows that, but don’t worry, he’s safe here. We had another little problem with Senator LaCroix, but I’ll let Andrew tell you all about that. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you like.”

“Thanks, but I’ll be heading back day after tomorrow. It does feel like home with all of you here.”

She knew what he was thinking. For a few days they’d been their own kind of mixed-up family.

Colby disappeared into the mudroom as Beth asked the cook to set a few more places at the table. She ran upstairs and told Madie and the boys that they’d be having company for dinner, then asked Father Benjamin to go fetch Andrew. She’d surprise Colby, and Andrew would come knowing he was here.

Twenty minutes later, Beth was putting stew and cornbread on the table when Madie walked in, all smiles. She’d combed her hair and put on one of the new aprons she’d made.

Colby had been sitting, waiting, but he almost knocked his chair over when he stood and watched Madie. The warmth in his eyes surprised Beth.

“Hello, girl, how you been?” he said.

“Fine,” she answered. “I read your letters.”

“You didn’t write me back, so I came fearing there was something wrong.”

“No.” She stared at the floor. “I’m working as fast as I can to learn to write so I can answer you.”

Beth didn’t miss the way Colby’s shoulders relaxed. “I’m glad to hear that. You eating regular here, Madeline? With the baby coming I don’t want to think about you missing many meals.”

She nodded. “It’s nice here, Colby, real nice. I help out where I can, and I’m learning all kinds of things a lady should know.”

“That’s good.” He shifted, as if not knowing what else to say.

“A priest who is visiting is teaching me to read, and the cook is showing me all kinds of recipes that I’ve never baked.”

“That’s good.”

“Father Benjamin mostly works with the boys on lessons, but I sit in after the chores are done and you wouldn’t believe all I’ve learned about history.”

“That’s good.”

Beth motioned them both to sit down. Surely he hadn’t ridden a hundred miles just to ask a few questions and answer Madie with the same two words.

“I can quilt now, and Mrs. McLaughlin’s mom is teaching me to use a loom,” Madie said, as if someone had poked her reminding her that it was her turn to talk.

“That’s good,” Colby said again, obviously stuck in the conversation.

Beth drew a long breath when the boys and Andrew stormed the big kitchen. Suddenly, everyone was hugging and yelling. While she put the rest of the food out, she caught Andrew’s stare. This wasn’t the dinner either of them had planned, but it was all right.

Everyone talked and laughed and ate. Colby couldn’t seem to stop smiling. He’d obviously missed them all. Madie was quiet mostly, almost shy.

Beth insisted Colby stay with them when he asked if he could camp out on the ranch.

While Madie showed him to the only empty room in the old wing, the boys rushed out, saying they’d take care of his horse. All planned to meet back in the parlor to listen to one of Andrew’s stories, just as they’d done in Fort Worth.

Beth suddenly found herself alone with Andrew in the empty kitchen.

“Where’s the cook?” he asked as he stood.

“She usually goes to bed as soon as supper is served. It’s always kind of been a rule that the family cleans up the kitchen at night.”

“I’ll help,” he offered, and picked up a few bowls. “It’s good to have the boy home.”

He sounded as if they were really married and Colby belonged to them. “He’s more a man than he was when he left.” She followed him to the counter, where two tubs waited, one with soapy water, one with clean.

Andrew nodded. “He’s been through a lot lately.”

They talked quietly, aware that there were others in the house. Father Benjamin was just beyond the back door, waiting for the boys to return from the barn. She told him what Colby had said about Peterson, but Andrew didn’t seem too worried. The second warning never seemed to sound as threatening as the first.

“We had a good day working together.” Andrew slid his hand lightly around her shoulders. “After no sleep last night, I’m about ready to turn in, dear. How about you?”

“After you read, I’ll drive you back.”

“And then?”

“And then we’ll see,” she answered as the boys came in and pulled him toward the parlor.

They all gathered around and listened to Andrew’s new story. The boys laughed and hung on every word, and Father Benjamin clapped when he finished, proclaiming Andrew a fine writer.

Andrew closed his journal and said simply, “Take me home, wife.”

Before Beth could answer, the priest stood. “I’ll drive you both home, my children. It’s chilly, but the boys can come along and watch the night sky. Tomorrow we begin a study of the planets.”

She didn’t miss the tightening of Andrew’s arm around her shoulder. He’d never seemed very friendly around the dear little priest. “That’s not necessary, Father. I don’t mind taking him.” She didn’t add that she planned to return to the main house after a good-night kiss or two.

For once Andrew smiled at the man. “That would be grand if you’d take us, Father. Thank you for offering. I wouldn’t want to leave the team outside all night.”

Beth could hardly explain to a priest why she had not planned to sleep with her husband, and she couldn’t tell Andrew that the afternoon of flirting had been nice, but she felt they’d gone quite far enough with their playing for one day.

When the father turned to grab his long coat, she jabbed Andrew in the ribs, then straightened and said sweetly, “We’d best say good night to Colby and Madie, dear.”

“Of course, dear,” he added, then gripped her hard as if he had no intention of letting her go.

To their surprise, the two young people had vanished.

CHAPTER 33

C
OLBY FOLLOWED
M
ADIE UP THE FRONT STAIRS TO A
hallway with three doors. All through dinner when he’d talked to everyone else at the table, he’d been thinking of what to say to her, and now that they were alone for a minute, he couldn’t think of a word.

She was prettier than he remembered, with a sweet round face that a man could get used to looking at. She’d also followed his advice and was growing, learning to read and write. In no time he’d be able to keep up with her in letters, and that made him proud.

“The first room is where Father Benjamin sleeps. He kind of dropped by and decided to stay for a while. He says he’s here to
feed the souls,
but I’m not sure what he means.”

Madie moved down the hallway. “This room belongs to the boys. They play mostly downstairs in the dining room. That’s where we set up the school. Father Benjamin knows all about history and plays. If the boys get all their lessons done, he reads a few acts of William Shakespeare after lunch, and everyone in the house stops to listen. He could have been an actor if God hadn’t called him.”

Colby couldn’t think of anything to ask. He’d never met a priest, but he guessed it was some kind of rule that everyone had to like them even if you weren’t Catholic. “I’d like to stay around long enough to hear him read.”

She stopped at the third door and faced him. “I’d like that too.”

Before he could say anything, she opened the last door and added, “This will be your room.”

He followed her into the plain little room.

“It’s nothing fancy, but it’s clean. I made the doily on the nightstand yesterday and thought it might dress the place up a little for you.”

He touched the bit of crochet made from a thin string. “It does.” He hesitated and added, “You mind if I take it home with me when I leave?”

She grinned. “I’d like that.”

Colby set his saddlebags down on the room’s only chair and faced her. He didn’t know how much time he’d have alone with her, and he didn’t plan on making a fool of himself with an audience. “Madeline, I rode here to check on you. I catch myself worrying about you from time to time.” He cleared his throat. “No, that ain’t right. I worry about you pretty much all the time.”

“I’m all right, Colby. I swear I’ve been doing everything you told me to do.”

“Good.” He could feel the minutes they had alone ticking away. “I thought you might need some more advice.”

She nodded.

He let out a breath. “Then I’m glad I came. What is it you have a problem with?”

She lowered her head, and he knew she must be uncomfortable. Hell, he was so nervous he could probably run down the stairs and around the big house and be back before she noticed he’d gone.

“Now don’t be shy, girl. I won’t be here long, so you need to tell me what’s on your mind.”

She nodded but didn’t look at him.

He tried not to sound so bossy. “It’s all right, Madie. I’m here. I’ll help you with whatever’s bothering you.”

She finally looked at him. “Would you kiss me again first?”

He frowned. “I guess it would be all right. But don’t go thinking I showed up here just to kiss you.”

“I won’t, Colby.”

He took a step toward her and lifted her chin. Then, very carefully, like he might hurt her, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her.

For a moment, it was nice, just nice, and then she leaned closer and put her hands on his shoulders as if she might need steadying, and he let the kiss continue.

When she moved a bit closer, he kissed her as he’d thought of kissing her.

She pressed her chest to his and the feel of her against him almost buckled his knees, but he didn’t break the kiss. She’d asked for a kiss, and he didn’t want to be impolite and not give her a real one.

When they heard footsteps thundering up the stairs, she finally pulled away. Her cheeks were red and her eyes sparkled.

“Thank you, Colby,” she whispered. “That was real nice.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled, letting his hand slide along the side of her rib cage. “But don’t go asking for another. A girl your age and certainly one in your condition shouldn’t be thinking of such things.”

“I’ll remember that, Colby.” She looked so innocent until she added, “I’ll be thinking of it tonight out on the back porch while I look at the stars after the house has settled.”

He wasn’t sure if she’d just offered him an invitation to join her, but he knew he wouldn’t be looking at any stars with her tonight. It wouldn’t be proper. When he had time he’d explain to her why.

It crossed his mind that since she was five or six months pregnant, she probably knew why. He remembered all she’d told him about Micah taking her down to the river so they could be alone and how she cried when he didn’t listen to her when she told him to stop. She’d said he hurt her, and Micah’s saying he loved her didn’t make the hurt go away.

As the boys ran into the room, Colby made himself relax, even though he was thinking of going back to Fort Worth and beating up Micah.

An hour later, when they were clustered around the kitchen table playing poker with matches, the priest joined them. He warned them about the evils of cards, then shuffled and said he’d play dealer.

Colby watched Madie as she sat across the table, laughing and talking. He loved the way she helped the boys with their cards; sometimes, he suspected her of folding her own to help them win.

When they finally called it a night, Colby followed the boys upstairs, leaving Madie to go up the stairs off the kitchen where her bedroom was located. He’d thought he’d have a minute to say good night, maybe even touch her hand, but he hadn’t dared with the priest watching.

Standing in his room alone, he smiled. Though he’d ridden all day, he hadn’t wanted the evening to end. It was fun to have someone to talk to after supper. When he went back to his ranch, he’d miss that most of all.

He walked over to the window and looked out onto the sleeping ranch. Even the stars looked brighter than he remembered.

It crossed his mind that Madie might be on the back porch right now looking at the same stars. Maybe he should go down and tell her to come inside. It was too cold for her to be outside this time of night.

If he did go down, the girl would probably ask for another kiss, and he didn’t have time for that sort of thing. He was eighteen last week, a full grown man now, and had a ranch to worry about. She must be close to sixteen by now, and she seemed to have matured some since Fort Worth, but she was a long way from being grown. She’d probably need his advice for a few more years at least.

She’d never gotten around to telling him what she needed his help deciding. She’d asked for the kiss first and then there had been no time.

Colby picked up his hat for no reason and decided he’d better go down. After all, she might truly need his advice, and the kiss had distracted her as much as it had him. The least he could do before he slept was hear her out. Maybe if her problem was a big one, he’d tell her he’d have to think on it awhile and let her know come morning.

W
alking down the stairs slowly, he made sure not to wake the boys. That wouldn’t be right. He’d just step out on the porch, ask to hear her problem, then give her guidance and head back upstairs. No one would miss him for a few minutes and he would have set the poor girl’s mind to rest.

Halfway across the kitchen, a low voice froze his progress. “Forget something?” the priest asked.

Colby turned. Father Benjamin was sitting in the shadows, looking like he was finishing the last of his coffee.

Colby wasn’t used to lying, but he might as well give it a try. “No, just thought I’d say good night to Mrs. McLaughlin if she was still up.”

“She stayed down at the cabin with her husband. I told them I’d drive over after dawn and get them for breakfast. You can say good morning and good night at the same time.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Colby turned around, thinking he’d have to wait until morning to talk to Madie.

“Good night, son,” the father said. “I think I’ll sit here for a while. It’s a full-time job keeping married folks in bed with each other and the unmarried ones apart, but I guess we all have our load to carry.”

Colby had no idea what he was talking about. He wasn’t planning on climbing into bed with Madie. First, she was still just a girl, and, second, she was pregnant. But darn the priest for mentioning such a thing, because now he was thinking what it might be like to have her beside him in the new bed he’d bought.

As he crossed the big room that had no purpose as far as he could tell except that it connected almost every other room in the house, Colby saw a flash of plaid hanging above a low-burning fireplace. On top of the tartan rested what looked like Apache beads.

A blending of two worlds
, he thought. He’d heard stories that the McMurrays were part Apache, and this confirmed it.

Looking down into the dying fire, he caught a slight movement to his left. “Madie?”

She froze. “I couldn’t go outside. I would have had to pass the priest, so I slipped down the hall and came in here.”

He laughed softly. “Me too. He’d make a great palace guard in one of those stories Mr. McLaughlin used to read us.”

Before she could move into the light, he stepped into the darkness with her. “We’d better not talk or he might hear us.”

“All right. What should we do?”

“If you’ve no objection,” Colby said as he placed one hand on her waist, “I was wondering if I could touch you and see if the baby’s grown. I’ve never touched a woman who is carrying a child.”

She took his hand and placed it on her middle. “I feel him moving inside me.”

Colby took a few minutes to relax enough to touch her, and then he felt where the baby rounded her. “You don’t mind this?”

“No. You have a gentle touch.”

His voice shook slightly. “I’ve never been told that before. Does it hurt? The skin feels tight. Are you sure you’ll stretch enough to carry the baby a few more months?”

“I think so. The doctor from town told me everything was coming along as it should. I’ll simply get bigger and bigger until the baby comes out. You ever see a birthing?”

“No,” he admitted. He slid his hand up to just below her breasts. “You’re bigger here too.”

She didn’t make a sound as his hand edged slowly up, lifting her full breast slightly. He liked the feel of her, well rounded and warm. Definitely all woman.

“You all right?” he whispered against her hair. “I’ll stop if you don’t want me to touch you. I’d even understand, Madie. We would still be friends.”

“No,” she said, but he could feel her shaking. “Don’t stop.” She leaned against the wall. “All I could think about tonight was that maybe we’d have a moment to be this close. I like being close to you, Colby.”

He kissed her cheek and then leaned back. “I want to remember the feel of you,” he said as his hand closed over her. “I’d never hurt you, Madie, you know that.”

“I know.” She smiled up at him. “Do you think you could touch me and kiss me at the same time?”

He placed his hand on her waist. “You sure?” he asked one more time.

She laughed. “I’m sure, Colby. I’m real sure.”

He pressed his mouth over hers as his hand trailed across her tummy, then higher to her breasts. When she made a little sound, he pulled her to him and moved his hands down her back all the way to her nicely rounded hips.

She fit against him, her breath shallow as he molded her close. To his way of thinking, she fit just right.

With his last ounce of sanity, he whispered, “This is something a man does to his wife.”

“Do you want to marry me, Colby?”

He knew this was one of those questions he should think about, but he had a feeling the answer wouldn’t change. “I do when you’re full-grown.” Pulling away far enough to see her eyes, he added, “I always wanted to marry a pretty woman, and you’re about as pretty as they come. You’re kind too, Madie, I can see that. And good tempered.”

She took his hand in hers. “I’m full-grown, Colby. I swear I am. You touching me feels right, but I’d understand if you didn’t want to marry someone who is already pregnant.”

“If we married, I wouldn’t sleep with you until after the baby comes, and when it’s born, it’ll be mine as far as everybody knows. I won’t have anyone talking about you.” He brushed light kisses over her cheek. “I’d love the baby like he was my blood.”

“I believe you, Colby, but you have to promise me, if we married, that you’d kiss me every night. I’ve always thought that having someone to kiss at night would be nice.”

He tightened his grip around her fingers. “I won’t take orders, Madeline, we best get that straight from the start.”

She lifted her cheek and brushed it against his jaw. “Of course,” she said as he kissed her.

“Good. Now we have that straight, I think I could kiss you once more tonight, but don’t expect such foolishness every night. I’ll have a lot more on my mind once we’re married than kissing my wife.”

He kissed her again and again, lost in the pleasure of her.

Once when he stopped for a breath, she whispered
more
and he realized she was not going to be an easy woman to ration, and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to try.