Promise of Love (8 page)

"Yeah.” He tightened his lip and nodded his head. He leaned back on the bed and shifted to get more comfortable. “I was almost married once,” he said. It shocked Rieko that he had ever even considered it. He didn't really seem the type.

"My school sweetheart,” he continued. “Dad really liked her, a good British girl with honey blonde hair and lovely green eyes, a very good cook.” He sighed, lost in an image of this old girlfriend. “She made Yorkshire pudding that...” He shook his head. “We grew up together, and she was in love with me since we were little.” Rieko would agree he was an easy man to fall in love with.

"I thought if somebody loved me so much and thinks I'm their soul mate, certainly I could return the favor given time,” Stuart said. “She was my first.” His voice softened, perhaps remembering that long ago moment. “It just seemed the natural thing to do: get married, join the Royal Navy, have a couple of sons to give good MacEwan names to."

Rieko wondered if this was Stuart's plan or his father's.

"It wasn't her I had to leave for.” He frowned. “It was him.” He spoke about his father using only a pronoun. “I left her too.” His voice filled with regret. “She was one of those people you don't transplant, she didn't want to be anywhere but Great Britain. It didn't really hurt leaving her."

He shook his head. “Still, I was concerned about her. I wanted her to get over me. I felt guilty about hurting her. I felt really bad about that.” He paused for a bit and Rieko was a little sorry she had rehashed all those forgotten memories.

"I broke her heart,” Stuart added, finally. His pain for his actions showed.
Was this why he was afraid he could hurt her as well
?

"What happened to her?” Rieko asked.

"She found somebody else,” he said. “Got married to him, has a couple of kids. I always hope she loves him as much as she loved me.” He shook his head. “I don't think she really does. I ruined the whole life she had planned."

He looked over at her.
Oh damn her turn
, Rieko thought. “Who was your first time?” he asked.

"I'm not answering that,” she said, bluntly. “You threw away my entire first subject."

He scrunched his face a little in thought. “Okay. You know the captain from before, how?” He tried again.

"That's a long story.” It wasn't really one she wanted to get into.

"Humor me,” he said. Rieko sighed. He had just told her a long and unhappy story, and it was her who had wanted to talk.

She sighed deeply and began her story. “I don't really remember when exactly we first met.” It seemed so long ago now. “Shawn went to the Earth Space Fleet Academy with my oldest brother, Tiro.” She thought back to that time, Tiro and Shawn all young and just starting life. “I used to have such a crush on Shawn."

Stuart looked a little perplexed by that. “You have a crush on the Captain?".

"I had a crush, when I was like ten.” She had grown out of it years ago. “He got Tiro to play water polo.” That was the major reason for her starting the crush, seeing Shawn playing water polo. “You know, the captain played in college?"

"The captain? An athlete?” Stuart asked.

Rieko nodded her head in reply. “For Stanford. They were fairly good. I'd go to the games sometimes.” She thought back on those forgotten memories of Shawn getting out of the pool, a kind smile on his face. “There he'd be all wet and muscular in only those small tight fitting swim suits.” He had been something to look at back then. “Not that he's not good looking now, because he certainly is.” More grown up and filled out with that air of real maturity that he still didn't fully possess when he was in his twenties.

Rieko lifted her head from the memory and noticed Stuart's clearly jealous expression. Maybe she had said all of that too dreamily, it's not like she really thought of Shawn like that anymore, too much else had transpired for that.

"If it's any consolation, I think more than half the time he still sees me as that little girl.” She knew for a fact that he did. He had always been so kind about her little school girl crush, making sure he made it clear he wasn't interested, but being very polite about her girlish advances. “Stuart, you have nothing to be jealous of. Besides, Shawn and Tiro were such good friends."

"They aren't anymore?” Stuart asked.

She looked back up at Stuart. She had used the past tense.
How many years had it taken for her to start doing that
? If she talked about Shawn, it was hard not to mention Tiro. He was the reason that she knew Shawn so well.

"Tiro's dead,” she answered softly.

Stuart's eyes looked shocked, but he held his face solid. “I'm so sorry, Rieko."

What did he have to be sorry about
? He didn't have any idea. She never talked about it. “It's okay,” she said. “It happened a long time ago. It just doesn't always seem that way.” She really missed Tiro, then again likely everyone that had known him missed him. “Some stupid freak Earth Space Fleet accident with an EV suit,” she explained. It was one of the reasons they made her uneasy about them, well that and she was slightly claustrophobic. “My family prefers to avoid talking about the subject.” Which was why she hadn't mentioned that Tiro was dead when they had talked about him before. “We all know, we just don't ever mention it."

"They probably don't like Earth Space Fleet much,” Stuart said.

"No.” Unlike his father, her parents did have a real reason for their mistrust of Earth Space Fleet. “They're not big fans of it."

"They aren't mad that you're in the fleet?” Stuart lifted an eyebrow.

Rieko shook her head. That would take a little background to explain. “Much as I hate what had happened to Tiro, I couldn't resist studying astronomy. I tried studying math and physics and even chemistry for a bit.” She shrugged. “My biggest interest was always astronomy. It's always been my one true passion, something passed on from Tiro and all his bedtime stories about other worlds. My parents can't dislike my choices for something I'm so passionate about."

"Anyway,” she continued, “After graduate school, Shawn talked me into Earth Space Fleet. He said I'd be great at it.” She really was honored by that. “I would have never done so without his encouragement.” It certainly had taken a little talking into. “If anyone else had suggested it, I would have told them I wasn't interested."

"My family would be quite a bit more scared about having me out here if Shawn wasn't the captain.” In their eyes the fact that Shawn wanted her out here, made it all right in their view.

Well, if she had gone and told Stuart this much, why not tell the rest? “Shawn was with Tiro when he died,” she spoke. “They used to visit on breaks and leaves together, and after Tiro died, my family kept inviting him. Like a part of Tiro is there if Shawn is.” Shawn is a bit of a reflection of Tiro. There are parts of them that are very much alike. “I think Shawn feels kind of the same about visiting my family."

There was a time after Tiro's death they had all needed each other. His death had come as such a shock, so unexplained and unexpected. It had hurt so much, for Shawn as well as them.
In the process of healing, they had grown so close that the intertwining bonds that held them together were no longer visible.

"He's basically family,” she said. A Hayashi family get-together without Shawn wouldn't be complete, their family wouldn't be complete without him. “Being on the
Resolution
together was hard at first. Serving with him, being distant and proper.” Shawn didn't want there to be talk of them being too close, it might lead people to the wrong conclusions. Maybe she had needed that distance from him to learn how to professionally interact with him. “It really has taken time to think of him as ‘Captain’ and not Shawn, but there are times now he is just Shawn and it's nice.” Times when he calls her Rieko like he's Shawn, even if she does have to answer back with ‘Captain'.

"I know that as long as he's here, I'm safe out here,” she said. She had doubted about whether or not she really wanted to be out here, but she had never doubted she was safe. “Not that you, Taylor, Mike, and the rest of the crew don't look after me as well.” Maybe if she wasn't the little sister of three older brothers, it might bother her.

"Shawn...” She paused. “I've always had a feeling they shared words right before Tiro died, words that involved my family and me.” Shawn never spoke about there having been words, but she was sure there had been. “He looks out for me like Tiro would, if he could.” A little piece of Tiro was out here in the stars with Shawn.

Rieko sighed deeply a little drained from the story, but happy she had shared it all with Stuart. “Well, that was longer than I intended. Your turn again."

"We haven't already talked enough?” he asked a little dismayed.

"No.” Her answer was flatly stated.

"Well?” He resigning himself to further onslaught of questions he didn't like.

Okay
, Rieko thought,
a question that did not involve his father
. At that moment, Stuart swiftly climbed off the bed, crossed to his desk, and slightly moved a cup of paint brushes. Then just as swiftly he returned to the bed and arranged himself in the same position he'd been before.

"Sorry, been bothering me,” he said. Rieko looked at him with confusion, wondering why it was necessary. “It was out of place,” he answered her unspoken question.

"Did you even move it?” She hadn't seen him more than touch it. Stuart just looked back at her and didn't dignify her question with an answer. “How long has it been bothering you?” She felt a bit afraid to hear the answer.

"Since I noticed it,” he said. “After I sat down on the bed.” He looked worried about what she would think. “Should've made sure everything was in place before I got up."

"Anything else out of place?” she asked. His room was spotlessly neat and organized like always. Even the model pieces were ordered. If all it took to be out of place was being a millimeter off, everything could be out of place.

"Well, the...” He started to answer, then stopped. Fear showed in his eyes. Rieko shot him a gentle look, trying to encourage him to finish. “Bed sheets are rumbled,” he continued. “I can straighten that when you leave."

The bed
, she thought. “We're sitting on it and you're going to be sleeping on it soon enough.” It must be getting late now.

"Possibly not for a bit,” he replied.

So, the bed had to be neatened from them sitting on it
? “Attention to detail is his?” Rieko asked. She made sure to leave his father anonymous, like he preferred.

"I've already said that.” He frowned. “He thinks everything should have a place and be in it. There's nothing wrong with order.” He defended his father, or maybe he defended his own actions.

Somehow, Rieko saw a young Stuart checking to make sure nothing was off just a hair from the places his father wished them to be. Perhaps it was the same young Stuart who had leaped up to fix the cup's placement, as if his idea of his father in his head would be upset if something were out of place.

"So, he's the reason you're anal retentive and a neat freak?” She realized afterward that her voice held disgust for his father's actions.

"Don't talk about him like that?” Stuart raised his voice.

"Sorry.” Rieko tried to sound sincere.
The man is his father and sons love their fathers even when they aren't nice people
.

"I don't mean to be like this,” Stuart whispered. “I think sometimes that maybe I can teach myself to not be.” He twisted his features with doubt. He had taught himself a great deal in life.

"You know, leave stuff out of place and practice not righting them. You can do anything if you practice.” His voice held resolve. He shyly looked across the bed at her in such a child-like way. “That sounds silly, doesn't it?” Sometimes she forgot how much of him might really be just a little boy still.

"I don't know.” She wasn't sure how to continue or what he wanted her to say. “People can change,” she said. “Who says you can't find out who the real Stuart is?” Somewhere buried in there was who he really was.

Stuart tightened his face. “Perhaps. Can I get back to the model now?” He almost asked like a little boy asking to go play with friends.

Rieko nodded. They had talked about a lot and for a long time. She rose from the bed, and he moved to sit back before his model. Maybe he really needed that quiet time with his calibrations and the model.

"It was nice talking with you,” she told him.

He looked over at her, and gave a small smile. “It was."

"We should do this more often.” She hoped next time she would not have to demand he did so.

"We will.” He sounded like he meant it, and it made Rieko smile. “You still have questions you avoided.” He gave her a crooked smile.

Oh, the first time question
.
He wasn't going to make her answer that, was he
? She buried the thought and hoped he was just joking.

"Good night, Stuart.” She moved to leave his quarters.

He rose from his chair and stood in front of her before she left. He leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips, slow and passionate, but very much just a kiss.

"Night, Rieko,” he said as their lips parted.

Rieko left with a good feeling of shared stories and a man who was more and more becoming as much a friend as a lover.

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"Stuart,” Rieko called out as she entered the armory. She knew Stuart would still be in here. This was where she had left him two and a half hours ago after giving up on him going with her to movie night because of the work he needed to finish.

"In here.” His reply came through the open door to his office.

She entered to find him at his small desk. Touch screen computer tablets of data sat neatly piled, likely in categories of some sort. Stacked data read-outs stood in a corner of the desk. She wondered when people used pens and papers anymore. It left enough room for a pad he handwrote neat notes on. The specs of his latest weapon covered the remaining surface of the desk.