Promise of Shadows (17 page)

I feel different, and now I look different. It seems to be a fitting change.
I shower quickly and search through the clothes that Alora and Blue picked out for me. There’s a lot that I will never wear. The underwear and bras I need, but there’s no way I’m wearing any of the dresses. There are several pairs of jeans, and after pulling on underwear, I settle on a nice pair of jeans in a dark wash that fit like they were made for me.
The bras are a disaster. Most of them are lacy push-ups in bright colors that make me want to swear vengeance on their makers. I finally find something cute and cotton that doesn’t seem like it could double as some sort of torture device. My choice of top is easy: a blue short-sleeved shirt with four-inch-high letters that spell out over it. I’d bet money that Blue picked it out.
I pull on socks and gray, soft leather boots, and I’m ready to go.
Alora is going to have a fit. The thought actually makes me smile.
There’s not much to do with my hair, so I do nothing.The smell of something delicious fills the room, and I head downstairs to eat. There’s a massive hollowness in my middle. I seriously need food.
I hope Nanda is ready for me.

Tallon shows up just as I’m finishing enough sausage and pancakes to feed a small army. He enters through the back door, and a tall, willowy girl in a sundress follows him. Her golden eyes widen as she sees me. I slowly put my fork down as a tendril of jealousy unfurls in my middle.

“Hey,” I say. My words are directed at Tallon, but my eyes are on the tall girl. Her straight brown hair hangs down to the middle of her back, and her skin is pale. She’s pretty in a bland sort of way.

“Hey,” Tallon says, sitting at the table. He looks at my plate. “There any left?”
“In the oven. Nanda actually went to the store to get more food. I think she’s worried that I might start eating her plants.”
He nods, and the willowy girl hovers behind him, her eyes on me. Tallon pulls out a chair and gestures for her to sit down. “Zephyr, this is North, Jeanine’s daughter. She’s a Hecate.”
I give the girl the stink eye and a slight nod. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Her voice is tiny, like a little kid’s. She looks around the kitchen nervously, and I sigh.
“Do you want something to eat?”
She shakes her head and continues to stare at me like I might grow another head.
“What?”
“Are you really the Nyx?”
Ugh. Well at least that explains her skittishness. I shrug. “That’s what they tell me.” I turn to Tallon. “Did you find out about the deal with the shades?”
“That’s why North is here. I just wanted to tell everyone at once, and she can explain it better than me.”
I roll my eyes but don’t say anything else. I could seriously do without all the buildup for once.
Tallon gets up to find out where everyone is,and I sit with North in the kitchen. We don’t say anything for a few long moments. She clears her throat. “Are you from around here?”
I shake my head.“No.I grew up in an Aerie out west in California.”
She leans forward, and a spark of interest lights her eyes. “Really? What was it like?”
“I don’t know. It seemed normal. I went to school, I learned how to kill people, and I watched TV. Every once in a while my sister and I would go to town and eat ice cream or something. The townies all thought we were just part of some weird religious cult.”
North shifts in her chair. “That must be different. Not going to regular school, I mean. Of course, even here the public school’s not exactly normal. I mean, it’s all vættir. The whole town is populated by vættir. People don’t even bother to wear glamours most of the time.”
“Yeah, I noticed that. It must be pretty cool.”
North shrugs. “Maybe. The only time we get to pretend to be normal is when we go to the city. I almost wish we spent more time being just regular people, you know?”
I nod, understanding what she means. In the real world you can just be how you are. But in the vættir world you are what your lineage says you are. Gorgon? Well, then you have snakes for hair and a quick temper. Harpy? You must love killing and hate men. There really isn’t a whole lot of room for the truth, just stereotypes.
It’s exhausting, always caring about that kind of thing.
Tallon returns with Alora and Blue in tow. Blue and Alora sit at the table while Tallon stands. He gestures to North. “You may as well get started. My aunt won’t be back for a few hours. Grocery shopping is serious business.”
She clears her throat.“Okay. Well, my mom wanted me to come and explain things because I’ve spent more time working with the pathways than she has. Mom is kind of a psychopomp, just ferrying the dead to the Underworld. I actually traverse the Paths and patrol them to make sure they stay in good repair.”
Everyone else is nodding, but I have no idea what she’s talking about. I raise my hand. “Yeah, uh, what are the Paths? I’ve never heard of them.”
“They’re sometimes called ley lines. They’re underground currents of energy that flow through the worlds. In the Underworld they’re all erebos, in the Æthereal Realm, æther. Here there are dark Paths and bright Paths. We use them to get somewhere really fast.”
“How fast?”And why haven’t I ever heard of these Paths before?
North shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe half the time as a plane trip? Hecate usually stick to the dark Paths, but there aren’t many of us left who can actually use the dark Paths anymore. The Acolytes”—her voice drops, as though saying their name can make them appear—“well, they’ve been killing a lot of our kind. We can usually use the ley lines to escape, but they’ve recruited a few of our kind to watch the Paths, so that’s been out of the question.”
I nod. “Okay, got it. Ley lines, awesome way to travel. But what does that have to do with the missing shades?”
North shifts in her seat and clears her throat. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “There was a theory that came out around the same time as the Promise. It said that the vættir fed their abilities by being near the Paths. It’s why Ulysses’s Glen was founded on a Node, which is kind of like a junction of the Paths. We’re attracted to the power of the Nodes. Glory Kirkcutt, the woman who came up with the theory, thought that if you flooded the Nodes with power, it would actually have a transportal effect on vættir.”
I blink. “What? What does that even mean?” My voice comes out sharper than I intended. I’m almost sure that she’s just making words up.
I hate being confused.
Blue interrupts to explain. “What she’s saying is that if you put enough erebos or æther into a Node you could use it to draw in all the nearby vættir. Kind of like turning it into a vacuum cleaner.” Blue mimics a sucking sound, and North nods so hard I’m afraid she’ll pull something in her neck.
“Yes, exactly. Shades are essentially the erebos that remains after a person dies. I believe that the Acolytes are going to use the shades to turn a Node into a magnet for vættir. Since like attracts like, they’re going to use the shades to pull shadow vættir down the Paths to wherever they are.”
I shake my head. “And then what? Kill them? Why?”
There’s a long moment of silence, as though talking about such a terrible thing will make it real. It’s Tallon who finally speaks. “Many reasons. There are folks who believe the shadow vættir are evil. That’s the reason a lot of vættir join the Acolytes. But Hera wants the shadow vættir dead, because once they’re gone there will be no one to oppose her and the rest of the bright Exalteds.” Tallon’s lips thin into a narrow line as he thinks. “The bright vættir aren’t a threat. The bright Æthereals can easily overpower any vættir that uses æther. But the erebos is deadly to the bright Æthereals. Even a small amount could kill them.”
I shake my head. “But there aren’t that many shadow vættir left, right? Why would she even bother?”
Tallon’s dark eyes seem to bore into me. “It only takes one person to change the world.”
Alora nods slowly, her lavender eyes far away. “Tallon’s right. The Strands seem to indicate the possibility of a great catastrophe. I see a knot, and the potential for many Strands to be cut. Human and vættir.”
I turn to Alora. “Human?”
Tallon laughs, the sound humorless. “Of course. Why else would you need to get rid of anyone who can stop you? She pretty much already rules the vættir. But the shadows are the only thing stopping her from ruling the world.”
Alora nods, her eyes still looking at something within the Strands of Time. “It would be just like the old days. The dark days, when humans worshipped the Exalteds and the vættir were the Æthereals’ slaves.”
North slouches in her seat, looking miserable. “There are old stories of those days, when the Hecate worked to ferry the lower Æthereals all over the world. It was a bad time.” She shakes her head and wraps her slender arms around her middle. “Definitely not something we want to repeat.”
I think about Cass, her toga soaked with blood. She lived long after the dark days, and yet she still ended up suffering at the hands of the Æthereals. I can’t let this continue to happen.
“Fine,” I say. “How do we stop this?”
Tallon looks at me, a smile playing around the edges of his lips. “You’re the Nyx, Zephyr Godslayer. You tell us.”
“Me?” Everyone is looking at me now and doing this slow nod. The last piece of the puzzle clicks, and I stand so abruptly that my chair falls over. “You want me to kill Hera.”
Blue shrugs. “How else are we going to stop the bitch-goddess? She’s been hatching scheme after scheme for thousands of years. The only way we can be sure that it’s all ended is to kill her.”
Tallon walks over, the sunlight from the kitchen window playing across his face. I’m surprised to realize that all this time I’ve been wrong about his eyes. They aren’t black like I thought, but a purple so deep that it appears black. There’s a metallic sheen to them that’s never been apparent until now, and being so close to him makes my mouth go dry. I expect his usual mocking glint, but there’s only sincerity there.“You’re the only one of us with half a chance, Zephyr.”He takes my hand and traces the dark vines twining around the inside of my wrist. “You’re more powerful than anyone I’ve ever met, and you wield erebos like an Æthereal. If you can’t kill Hera, no one can.”
I don’t know what to say. Everyone is suddenly looking at me, and my palms go from nice and dry to embarrassingly damp.Their expectations weigh me down like a ball and chain.
I know what they want from me. They all want me to be the hero. But that’s not me. I’m the coward.The girl who runs first and worries about the consequences later.
I could walk away. I could just leave, the world be damned. But that would mean turning my back on Whisper and Cass. They both believed in me. And it feels like it’s time to stop letting them down.
Not only that, but Tallon is watching me. He isn’t glaring at me like I’m about to screw up something important. He’s looking right at me like he finally thinks that I can do this.
Strangely enough, I really don’t want to let him down.
I snort and shrug off his backhanded praise. “You don’t really believe that. But I’m not about to sit back and let Hera use my sister and my best friend in some twisted science experiment.” I take a deep breath, because I know I’m about to make a promise I’m going to regret. “I’ll do it. Just tell me when and where.”
Everyone nods. It’s not the kind of announcement that deserves a cheer. Maybe because they’re all thinking the same thing I am.
Me against an Exalted? Yeah.
I am so dead.

Blue and I sit in the living room, watching TV. Well, mostly watching TV. I’m trying not to think about Cass and Whisper. Are they suffering? Do shades feel pain or discomfort? My worry sours my stomach, and I idly dig my talons into Nanda’s couch cushions until Blue stops me.

“Hey, Nanda’s going to freak if you keep doing that,” he says, pointing to the tears in the fabric.
“Oh, dammit.” I fold my hands in my lap so I don’t unconsciously destroy anything else.
Blue turns the TV off with a sigh and turns to me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. He studies me for a moment. “Is it about Tallon?”
I blink. “What? What about him?”
“I know you like him. I thought maybe you were planning on making a move or something.”
I shake my head. “Blue, I have so many other things to worry about right now that Tallon is the least of my concerns.” I don’t add that I’m starting to wonder if the Tallon I knew as a kid even exists anymore. Maybe all of these feelings are tied up in the memory of him, and not the reality. Because from what I can see, the Tallon I knew grew up to be kind of a jerk. A hot jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.
“Look, I know my brother can be a little intense. But you don’t know him like I do. He deserves to be happy, and it’s hard for him to let go and do that.”
“What’s that got to do with me?”
Blue grins at me.“You made him smile, Zeph.That has to count for something.”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t need me, Blue. He needs to have the stick removed from his ass.”
Blue laughs. “Maybe. Or maybe what he needs is someone he doesn’t have to worry about losing. Since our brother was killed, Tallon has kept himself cut off. He’s scared to let anyone in. Maybe you’re just what he needs to show him that it’s okay to care about people again.”
“Me? Why me?”
Blue ruffles my curls. “Zeph, if anyone can take care of herself, it’s you. You’re more powerful than just about anyone I’ve ever met. Plus, you and Tallon have more in common than you think. I’m not saying the two of you have to run off and get married, but you should try talking to him. You know, like regular people do when they like each other.”
I don’t get a chance to answer Blue because Alora comes through the front door, slamming it behind her. Worry creases her face, and she’s gnawed the lipstick off her bottom lip. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her look less than perfect. I sit up and stare at her, a tiny, ugly part of me glad that she looks like hell. “What’s going on?”
“We have to leave tonight,” she says, collapsing into the nearby recliner. “It took me forever to find out how to get in touch with the Oracle, and then when I finally did, she told me I needed to leave tonight.” Alora kicks off her heels with a sigh. “There’s something going on with the Strands. The pattern’s changing, but I’m not good enough to read why.”
I smirk. “I thought you were some sort of psychic.”
“I’m not a psychic; I’m a Fate. I can read the Strands of Time, but I’m only an apprentice. Some things are easy, like deaths and births. And sometimes things hit you over the head out of nowhere, like your Prophecy. But the Strands are all snarled right now. I can’t even figure out if skinny jeans are in or not. It’s hopeless.” She groans. “This is why we need to go and see the Oracle. She’ll be much better at reading those sorts of things. And she can tell us how to stop whatever it is that the Acolytes are doing with the shades.”
Blue stands and stretches. “I guess we’d better pack then. We can leave first thing in the morning.”
Alora shakes her head. “No. We have to leave tonight. I was given the name of a hotel that we’re supposed to stay at.” He raises a single eyebrow. “We? Who all’s going?”
Alora uncrumples a piece of paper in her hand and reads from it. “You, me, Zephyr, and Tallon. Mom’s supposed to go visit ‘the relative who rarely speaks,’ if that makes any sense. I have no idea who that is.”
“I do. It’s Saundra. She’s a siren, so she tends to keep quiet,” Tallon says, entering the living room from the kitchen. “Where is Nanda, by the way?”
“Gone.” Alora yawns and continues. “I called her as soon as I knew what the plan was. She’s already on her way over there, with a car full of groceries.”
Tallon nods, like it’s normal for people to just up and go unexpectedly. I look at each of them, but no one really seems troubled or even all that excited.
“So this is really happening, huh?” I say.
Tallon frowns at me. “What do you mean?”
“We’re really going to leave just because of Alora’s half-baked prediction?”
Alora straightens, and the skunk scent of her irritation filters toward me. “My predictions aren’t half-baked.”
“If you say so. Look, why don’t we just spend the night here and drive up to see the Oracle tomorrow. You said it’s like an eighthour drive? We can do that in a day.” I’m not ready to charge into the next chapter of my life. Part of it’s fear that the next chapter will be the final chapter. But mostly I’m just irritated that we’re all going to follow Alora like she’s anything more than some shallow, self-centered fashionista. It’s childish, but I can’t let go of my childhood dislike of her. Nanda warned me against trusting Cass, but it’s Alora who I don’t trust.
As much as I can’t let go of the past, Alora seems to be oblivious to it. She waves the little piece of paper at me. “Zephyr, I got my directions from the Oracle. We’re supposed to spend the night at this hotel. If we don’t leave soon, we won’t make it.”
Anger surges through me. I lean forward and snatch the paper out of her hand. Then I tear it into little pieces that drift down onto the floor. “And now I just changed the future. We are now free to sleep wherever we want. And I pick here.”
Alora scrambles to pick up the pieces of paper. I stand, ignoring the looks Tallon and Blue give me. I know I’m acting like a brat, but I can’t help it. I hate how she’s so certain about what the future will hold, when I don’t even know what’s going to happen in the next five minutes.
I hate that she’s here and Cass isn’t. It’s not fair. Why does everyone I care about leave?
I get a whiff of some emotion off her. Lavender with a tint of rot. I don’t know what the scent is, but Alora’s on the verge of tears. “My predictions are right. No matter what you believe, they always come true. I worked really hard to get that information.”
I shrug. I’m feeling mean, and the guilt and pain over Cass’s death still weigh on me. “Yeah, well, now we can make our own predictions. I predict that I will go upstairs and take a nap.” I turn and head upstairs, ignoring the rank odor of Blue’s disgust. My conscience tells me I should apologize, that I need to give her the benefit of the doubt.
But I don’t. I just keep walking away.
“Cass thought my predictions were right,” Alora calls. I’m halfway up the stairs, but I stop and turn around.
“What did you say?”
Alora’s on her feet now, her hands clenched into fists. The rotting-lavender smell still wafts off her, but now there’s a deeper scent of iron and hot garbage. I’m not sure what the lavender scent is, but I know the scent of someone spoiling for a fight. If Alora wants a brawl, I’m more than happy to give it to her.
Blue tries to maneuver in between the two of us. “Look, maybe we should all just calm down. We can take some time to pack, Zeph can get in a nap, and we can leave later this evening.”
Alora shakes her head. “No, we need to leave now.”
I cross my arms. “I’m not going anywhere until you explain why you think Cass believed your predictions.”
Tallon shakes his head, moving next to Blue. “Now’s not the time Zephyr. You’re angry, and you’re starting to leak.” I frown, unsure what he’s talking about. But then I see my hands.The swirling dark lines are actually emitting darkness, the tendrils wafting up like I’m on fire. Huh. So that’s what the swirls do.
Alora puts her hands on her hips. “I think now’s the time. I’ve done nothing but try to help her, and all she does is treat me like crap. After all these years she’s still a spoiled little bitch.”
“I’m a spoiled little bitch—” I start, but I don’t get to finish because Alora keeps talking.
“I know my predictions are good because I’m the one who warned Cass to stay off the roof that night.” She’s flushed, and when she drops her hands by her sides they ball into fists.
I laugh, the sound dark and dangerous. I can feel the erebos urging me on. I’m not the only one spoiling for a fight. The darkness wants loose, and I want to give it what it needs. “What are you talking about? We went up on the roof to find out what happened to my sister’s shade.”
Alora shakes her head. “Do you really think that’s why Cass wanted to go onto the roof ? To do a summoning? You could’ve done that anywhere. I told her what would happen if she went on the roof, and she believed me.”
The darkness around me stills. I’m confused. “Why would she do that?”
Alora smirks. “Because she knew that for you to be the Nyx you needed a reason to fight Hera. Ramun Sol killing her was the Strand most likely to lead to your success.”
Her words sink in, and my rage snaps back, fresh and hot. The darkness rises up around me, the tendrils forming a cloud. I take a step down the stairs. I want to kill her.
Tallon curses. “Dammit, Alora, why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?”
Alora takes a step back, her eyes wide. I growl low in my throat. “You knew that there was a chance Cass would die, and you didn’t tell me?”
“Cass was going to die, Zephyr. Every single one of the options led to her death that night. Her doing the summoning on the roof and being killed by Ramun Sol was the only one that led to you coming into your full power. You’re the Nyx! The vættir need you.” Alora is babbling, but I barely hear her. All I can think is that there might have been a way for me to save Cass that night, and I never even got a chance.
“You should’ve told me. I would’ve been able to keep Cass alive.”
Alora stops, and her eyes flash violet. “No, you wouldn’t have.”
Her words undo me. I launch myself off the second-to-last step, using the growing cloud of darkness to propel me over Tallon and Blue. I land in front of Alora and smile. Her fear hits me in a blast of spoiled lemons.
It feels too good to hit her.
My fist connects with her jaw, and Alora goes down. She curls up in a defensive position. Blue grabs for me, but the darkness keeps him away, picking him up and throwing him through the living room’s plate-glass window. Tallon tries to fight through the darkness, but my shadows are much stronger than him. That makes me happy. Because now I know I can kill Alora without any interference.
I pick her up by the throat, and she sobs. “You should’ve told me,” I say. My anger is so great that I feel calm, like I’m standing in the center of a hurricane.
“I’m sorry,” she says. Her mascara runs down her face, leaving black trails of tears.
“Tell it to Cass,” I say.
Tallon’s arm snakes around my throat, and I drop Alora. She scrambles away as I struggle against Tallon. “Calm down,” he says, his voice next to my ear.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I snarl, bringing my elbow back and driving it into his stomach. His grip relaxes enough that I can maneuver free. He surprises me by wrapping his arms around my middle and holding me close.
We stand in the middle of a cloud of darkness. My erebos lashes out at him, whipping at him with thin tendrils. The shadows open up cuts on his arms, cuts that don’t heal. He doesn’t let me go, just grunts in pain. If I really wanted to, I could wield the darkness like a knife and open up his throat. But I don’t want to. I want him to let me go.
He’s not the one I want to kill.
I fight to get loose of him, but he’s physically stronger than I am. “Let me go,” I grit out.
“Not until you calm down. You can’t kill everyone who pisses you off.”
“She killed Cass, Tallon.”
“No, she didn’t. Alora wasn’t the only one who knew about the danger to Cass that night. We all did.”
His words leave me chilled, and the world seems to hold its breath. “What?”
“We didn’t say anything because Cass asked us not to. She knew you’d never do something that could lead to her death. She believed in you enough to sacrifice herself, Zeph. Cass chose your future over her own life.”
His words undo my anger, and I go limp in the circle of his arms. I manage to turn around until I’m looking at him. He’s expression is calm, even though I just tried to kill his cousin. That bugs me, but my sorrow is too vast to acknowledge anything but the weight of my loss. “I’m all alone again,” I say, my throat clogging with tears.
Tallon shakes his head. “Aw, Peep, how could you think that? I’m here,” he says. Then he kisses me.
The darkness stills when his lips touch mine, and my eyes drift closed. His lips are soft and warm against mine, and my arms go around his neck automatically. I sigh, because he makes me feel like I’m flying. Only kissing him is better than soaring above the treetops. It’s better than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never felt so alive.
The darkness wraps around Tallon as well, healing him and pulling him close. His lips open slightly in surprise, and I take the opportunity to nibble on his full lower lip. He groans and hugs me tighter before ending the kiss.
“You are a pain,” he mutters, before giving me a peck on the forehead. I blink and take a step back. The darkness retreats, purring like a cat as it settles in my middle. I hug myself. It’s a little lonely standing outside the circle of Tallon’s arms.
“Yeah, well . . .” I trail off, unsure what to say. I turn around, where Blue and Alora watch us from the corner of the living room. Nanda’s house is a disaster area, and shame heats my face. I’m going to owe her a new living room. Blue’s arm lies protectively across Alora’s shoulders, and guilt burns through me. He glares at me.
“Are you finished?” Blue snaps. I nod. I still don’t like Alora, and I’m glad I hit her. But I definitely don’t want to kill her.
“I’m not sorry I hit you,” I say, and Alora starts to sob all over again. “But I’m sorry I tried to kill you,” I hastily add. I feel bad about making her cry. “You should’ve told me. About Cass.”
She nods. “I know. Can we go now?”
I sigh and nod. I can’t exactly say no after trying to kill her, can I?
Tallon sighs and runs his hand through his hair. During the storm of erebos his braid came undone, and now his hair hangs loose. “Well, on that note, let’s get the hells out of here before anything else goes wrong.”
We all hurriedly grab a couple of changes of clothes before we pile into Blue’s SUV and hit the road. Alora keeps looking over her shoulder as we head out, like she’s afraid that something is going to attack at any minute. She doesn’t bother sharing what she’s afraid of with the rest of us, and no one bothers to ask. I think we’re all a bit on edge after I lost control. Even I’m a little afraid of myself.
Tallon sits in the backseat with me. He’s the only one even remotely strong enough to handle me if the darkness rises. We each sit stiffly, not touching.The tension of unsaid things is a physical presence between us. We don’t mention the kiss in the living room, just stare out of our windows like the scrub grass next to the highway is the most interesting thing we’ve ever seen.